This is my crap TV that I get from the other side of the world.
You’re a crap TV snob?
YOU KNOW IT!
You’re clearly in a mood now.
CLEARLY!
I will not keep you from your “stories.”
You and your scare quotes.
Why? What are you doing?
I’m going to the complication’s house.
Which one?
Har dee har har
Notice I manage not to insult your friends.
Lately …
So you do appreciate how hard I’m trying.
What are you doing when you go to this “complication’s” house?
Per usual there will be many rousing games.
We MAY even go outside!
Are you really still trying to catch them all?
I worry about you some days.
I AM HIP AND WITH IT!
You’re so very not.
Whatever.
I’m awesome.
THAT I can’t argue with.
Or you’ll get a face full of mayonnaise fries.
UGH!
No.
Go away!
HA! You’re the worst French Canadian ever.
I’m starting to wonder if you even know what a French Canadian is.
You’re just jealous that you don’t know what good french fries taste like.
I thought you had better things to do.
Oh, right.
Yeah.
I totally do.
Birth secrets and undisclosed cancer diagnoses.
Cheerful.
It is!
Have fun!
You too!
And keep your phone locked!
Yes, ma’am.
Hey.
Lunchtime?
Yeah.
What are you eating?
The usual.
What’s your usual?
Something I pick up nearby.
Cool.
Am I bothering you?
What?
No.
Sorry. No.
I was just eating.
I can leave you alone.
No, it’s not that.
How did last night go?
???
Was it the three of you?
Just II and me.
Really?
It happens.
How’d last night go for you?
Oh, it was fine.
I made it through most of my shows and then Lexi wanted to gossip.
???
Just the usual.
Am I going to Wade’s party?
Do I want to know in excruciating detail how Dylan pissed her off most recently?
Who do I think Sarah is flirting with this time and how is it going?
What is Chloe’s deal?
What am I up to and does it involve any of my customers?
Lexi’s been getting too much sun this summer, I swear.
Has she developed a sudden interest in the gas service industry?
No, she’s just got these theories about everything.
I was making a bad joke.
That was supposed to be a joke?
I said it was bad.
It was nonexistent.
No more jokes.
A fine rule.
I don’t really have anything to say.
Just wanted to say hi.
Oh.
Okay.
So … hi.
I’ve hurt you with this no-joke thing, haven’t I?
No, I really don’t have much to say.
Yeah, me neither.
Maybe we’ve run out of stuff to talk about.
I doubt that.
You’ll read of a new use for acetaminophen and we’ll be back at it again.
I told you about that, didn’t I?
You mean the existential crisis?
No, that it’s also been found to be an effective tool for surviving heartbreak?
???
I guess they’re finding that in low doses it numbs your empathy receptors.
So they’re coming up with a ton of cool uses for it.
What are empathy receptors?
Uh, maybe that’s not the right word.
Your empathy processors?
You mean taking too much acetaminophen could make you a serial killer or something?
I think if you take enough of it to do that, you’ll have already blown out your liver anyway.
So it’s got a fail-safe built in
That’s something.
Yeah, morality is quite often a trade-off for your ability to process toxins.
I’ll keep my morality AND my liver.
Good choice.
Very un–French Canadian of you.
I may start sending you articles about Montreal
It’s an area of study you could benefit from.
I’m fine with my wildly inaccurate presumptions about the Québécois, THANK YOU VERY MUCH!
If you say so.
Just don’t actually go there.
But, but, poutine!
You can get poutine here without causing a diplomatic incident.
It’s because I don’t know French, isn’t it?
Not even a little bit.
OK maybe a little bit.
I see how this is.
I’m part French Canadian on my father’s side, I’ll have you know.
That doesn’t make this any better!
I cannot win with you, can I?
You could if you tried something else.
Maybe, but later, my mom’s calling.
Glad that’s over.
What? Work?
What’d you think?
With you? Could be anything.
No, not anything.
But it could be a lot of things.
True for you too.
Not today.
Today I’m nearly nothing.
That’s rather nihilistic.
I suppose.
You OK???
Me?
Yeah, why?
You seem …
Weird?
Quiet.
Oh. Maybe.
Lexi got me thinking about stuff is all.
Uh-oh.
Is that a problem?
She freaked you out about something?
Like that’s hard!
Ha.
You’re not the only one.
Why, are you freaked?
Sorta.
Your family?
No.
Yes
No
Sorta.
Well, that cleared that up.
Sorry.
Does this have anything to do with a secret?
???
Just …
How’d you guess???
Told you I was thinking.
Really
Why do you ask that?
Really, it’s nothing. You don’t have to tell me. I was trying to be funny. Sorry for making it awkward.
My dad just came home, so I have to go.
OK.
So are you going?
To Friday Funday?
It was canceled because of Wade’s thing tomorrow.
I mean THAT.
You mean, am I going to Wade’s thing???
Yeah.
Lexi thinks I should.
But you don’t?
I don’t know.
I usually feel lonelier around more people.
???
It goes with being the quiet one.
Someone would talk to you.
Right.
Awkward conversations about, what?
Music?
Why I’m not drinking?
Who I came with?
Why I’m not dancing?
How my flailing might have left a bruise after someone forced me to dance?
It won’t be THAT bad.
It’ll feel that bad.
I just thought
&n
bsp; Maybe
You would come.
What? Why?
I wanted to talk to you about something
In person.
It’s one of those conversations that would benefit from you being prepared it was going to happen.
You can’t like come to work or something?
It’s definitely not a conversation I want to have over burritos.
But shouted over dubstep is fine?
We’ll talk outside.
Why can’t we talk now?
Now works.
In person
I need to see you when I say this stuff
You need to see me
You deserve to have it said to your face.
Please. We NEVER talk in person.
There’s a first time for everything.
Will you come?
Okay, fine.
But I can’t guarantee I’ll stay.
Stay long enough to talk
I said fine.
But this isn’t really helping me prepare. Is this a bad conversation?
???
Like, will I cry?
I hope not.
I hope you’ll think it’s a good thing.
Okay. So no mascara. Check.
???
If I’m going to a party, Lexi is going to insist on dressing me, which includes makeup.
If I wear mascara, I’ll look like a raccoon when I cry.
Maybe no mascara.
So it is going to be bad?
I don’t THINK so. But I don’t know how much to prepare for.
You have to promise not to freak until I’ve explained everything.
I’m not going to freak on purpose.
Good.
You’re being weird.
Am not.
A little bit.
You want to talk?
In person?
Kinda weird.
You’re going to get the wrong ideas.
I promise, no ideas.
Okay, minimal ideas.
Minimal is the best I can ask for.
But I have to go
My father wants to lose at Rocket League
Car soccer?
You play car soccer?
No.
I dominate car soccer.
Figures.
You’re still coming?
Right???
Yes.
Dylan’s picking Lexi and me up at my house after she helps me get ready.
Your request has made her month, even though she’s convinced I’m going for some other totally ridiculous reason.
You’re riding in the hoopty?!
Don’t worry, I made sure to get my tetanus updated after the last time.
Why does he even still drive that thing?
It gets him from A to B.
What else does a car need to do?
Not destroy the environment single-handedly.
Okay, I mean, there’s that.
But then he’d have to give up the sweet mural.
How would he get around without a unicorn rampant on the side?
How do you get around without one?
It like gets the girls or whatever.
True.
That’s what you should ask your mom’s boyfriend for.
Think he’d get me one?
I don’t know, do those Porsche minivans come with unicorns?
Could you imagine the look on CHUCK’s face?
Well, no, but I can kind of guess.
Might be worth it.
Oh man, I’ve given you ideas.
Always.
Are you really going to be safe in Dylan’s piece of crap?
Yeah, this is not my first experience with shock-less conversion vans that are as old as my father.
It’s THAT old???
I should pick you up.
Maybe you should just trust that I know what I’m doing.
Fine
Just
Be careful.
Now who’s freaking?
Touché.
Are you here yet?
No. We’re getting pancakes. Chocolate chip pancakes.
Whatever you have to say can wait until after chocolate chip pancakes.
Fine
I know what a bad idea it is to get between you and chocolate chip pancakes.
I can wait.
You really need to relax.
We won’t be there until after 8.
Seriously???
Hey, I’m just the passenger.
Against my better judgment.
It’s barely even 7.
Wade has a pool.
Oh great, a water hazard to avoid!
I should have picked you up
You’re going to figure out some way to get out of coming.
I’m not.
I’m coming. I’m not even freaking.
But I’m pretty sure you may be.
Sarah’s here.
You wouldn’t be alone.
Is Sarah alone?
???
Just something Chloe implied the other day.
That’ll have to wait until you get here.
I’ll be there when I get there.
Gotta go, my pancakes are here.
Where are you???
OMG, chill.
We’re finding parking.
Good!
Meet me behind the pool house in fifteen.
Behind?
There’s a little garden there.
Okay, fine.
I’ll trust you this once.
Remember no matter who’s back there you promised not to freak.
I don’t remember making that promise.
Please trust me?
Where are you???
Are you OK???
Did something happen?
Jack said he saw you crying
Did you get hurt?
Did the fireworks freak you out???
I told Wade not to get those out.
Is that why you left before we had a chance to talk?
Talk to me
I’m sorry I wasn’t there. I was helping Sarah with something.
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