by Jason Zandri
Then there’s the whole thing with school. I’m going to college somewhere, and unless I commute and live at home, I’ll be gone. He’ll be here.”
“Once in a while, the long-distance thing can work,” Alecia said.
“Look.” Melissa stepped closer. “Matthew was talking to me not so long ago about all the changes that we are each coming into. He made a lot of sense, too. I think part of what he was saying, in so many words, was that we’re entering adulthood. One day, we are just kids still, then something defining happens, and we’re dealing with something either very adult-like or simply a handful of things like an adult. Either way, opportunities to sit and drink milkshakes … they’re drifting further apart. When we have the chance to, we should embrace those times.” Melissa turned and looked skyward.
“Just for now, I’d like to bask in this ever-glow of being with my first love and having my ‘first time’ with that same person.” She turned back to her friends. “And sharing the moment with you.”
Carrie and Alecia said nothing and went over to hug her.
***
Matthew moved the deck mower aside and stepped over to the workbench. The side door to his father’s garage opened, and Tim and Michael walked in.
“Hey, man,” Matthew called over. “What’s up?”
“Hey,” Tim said, taking off his leather jacket and setting it down.
“Have you talked to Melissa?”
“No,” Matthew said with a smile. “Not since yesterday. Well, actually early this morning I guess is more appropriate. She took off early because she didn’t want to fall asleep at the apartment. I tried her a couple of times, but I am betting we keep missing each other. We need a better system than phones and answering machines.” Matthew turned and set his tools down. “I’m sure I’ll get caught up with her.” Matthew paced away, excited, and turned. Tim was about to speak, but Matthew cut him off, “I was so between myself and what to do about Donna. I never even thought about Melissa; now that she’s more or less shown she does feel that way for me, I’ve been excited and thinking all day … all the possibilities.” Matthew danced around the garage while he continued to speak, “I’m always waiting on the next shoe to drop with girls; I think this is going to be much different. It’s like that thing …
what is it? Finding your soulmate. We’re such good friends, and I never considered this before. At least not seriously.” Matthew stopped in his tracks, laughed, and looked over to the two of them standing near the bench. “I sound like a giddy school girl …”
Tim glanced at Michael, turned, and held his hands up; concern washed over his face. “Man, look … you know I’m not good with the touchy-feely stuff. Patti called me; Beverly was at the burger place. They’re on their way here. You need to listen to her.”
“I don’t understand,” Matthew said. The door opened again, and the girls walked in. “Is Lesley coming too?”
“No, she had to work today,” Michael said in a withdrawn tone.
Patti looked over at Tim, and he nodded.
“Matthew,” Patti said, stepping over. “I don’t know if you remember Beverly from Candice’s pool party from right after school let out.”
Matthew looked her over. “Was your hair longer?”
“Much,” Beverly said, rubbing her fingers through the short, dirty-blond locks. “And it was an awesome shade of light blue, too.”
Matthew snapped his fingers. “Now I remember you. Sorry about that; nice to see you again.”
Beverly looked hesitantly over to Patti, who nodded. “Look, Matthew, you’re a nice guy.” She smiled and dropped her eyes. “Even though you only sort of remember me,” she said with a grin. She looked back up at him, “I was sitting in the burger place tonight. Like you, Melissa, Carrie, and Alecia didn’t recognize me.”
Matthew stared blankly. “Okay … I’m not sure where you’re going with this.”
“They were talking about you. Melissa was mostly; her voice carried the loudest,” she said, turning to Patti. “I’m uncomfortable; I might not have heard it all correctly.”
Patti moved forward and placed her hand on Beverly’s shoulder. “She heard Melissa wonder if ‘maybe this is all a big mistake,’ and she wondered,
‘maybe I shouldn’t have done it.’ Then she mentioned to them that it might be something she’s going to regret.”
The color drained from Matthew’s face. Patti looked over to Tim.
“Now, I can’t do this.”
Michael stepped over. “You need to hear this; we got your back, man.”
“After that,” Tim said. “Melissa said something about Donna and manipulation; that she was likely going away to school. Then they all walked too far away to hear more without looking conspicuous.”
Matthew took a moment to collect himself, and then he turned to Patti and Beverly. “Thank you for letting me know; I appreciate it.” He looked around and turned to Michael. “What are you guys doing the rest of the night?”
“Nothing anymore; we’re going to stick here. What do you need?”
Michael said.
“I’m going to head inside and grab a shower; I hope I don’t need to engage too much with my dad and the Bride. Meet you all at the apple orchard in about an hour? Seems like a hangout and reflect night.” Matthew turned away toward Beverly. “You’re more than welcome to hang with us if you like and don’t have other plans.”
“I wouldn’t mind if you don’t,” Beverly said while she glanced away, shy. “I feel a little bit like a third wheel … or, I guess—in this case—a fifth one.”
Matthew tried to smile in a friendly way. “Welcome to my club,” he said, turning to leave the garage.
Once inside the house, Matthew walked past Diane and his father without saying anything, and then turned to head up the stairs.
“Hey, sport,” his father called out. “Are you going to be able to swing by after school tomorrow like normal, then work and close up?”
“Yeah, Dad,” he said, stopping short at the base of the stairs. He looked over at Diane, and a heaviness settled in his chest. He breathed in to say something to them but stopped himself.
Diane looked over at him and stepped forward from the kitchen into the dining room. “Is everything all right?”
Matthew looked right at her, and all he could see was Melissa. He darted up the stairs without saying a word.
***
Before Mark could move to the bottom of the stairs, he heard Matthew move from his bedroom to the bathroom and the door closing. He leaned in and heard the shower start. Mark walked over to the living room window and looked over the cars in the driveway. Matthew’s friends were exiting the garage and heading to their cars.
Diane came up behind him and looked out as well. “His friends are all here,” she said, also looking over the cars. “I can’t understand what upset him. He was so happy about the week; things went well in the store, he was
excited to hear about how we lounged around and did nothing for a week. He couldn’t stop talking about Melissa.”
“Melissa,” Mark said quietly. “He looked right at you and locked up.
She’s always looked like a younger version of you.”
“I’ll call the house; I’m not sure she’s home. She wasn’t before.”
Diane stepped away and into the kitchen.
Mark moved toward the stairs and headed up them slowly until he heard Matthew’s phone ring. He hesitated for only a moment; generally, he never answered Matthew’s phone. He darted the remainder of the way up the stairs and answered on the third ring. “Hello?”
“Matthew?” the young woman asked.
“Hi, no, this is his father. He’s in the shower.”
“Oh, hi, Mr. Sanford; it’s Donna. Will he be there long? I was going to stop by.”
“I’m not sure if he’s going anywhere,” Mark said, scratching his head.
“He came in from the garage; his friends were all out there. I’m not sure if he’s stayin
g in or going out for a bit.”
“Okay,” she said. “I’ll take my chances and run by while he’s still there. I want to see him.”
“Okay,” Mark said. “I’ll let him know you called.”
Mark hung up the phone, made his way down the stairs, and into the living room. A moment later, Diane came back in from the kitchen.
“My mother said Melissa wasn’t home, and she thought she left to head here.”
“Oh boy; this isn’t going to be good,” Mark said and rubbed a hand through his hair.
“Why?” Diane asked.
Mark made his way back over to the stairs. “Matthew’s phone rang, and I answered it; Donna’s on her way over.” Mark looked up the stairs as the water shut off.
Matthew opened the bathroom door, and Mark landed on the top step at the same time.
“Hi, Dad,” he said.
“Hey,” Mark said. “So, I came up the stairs before to talk to you, and you jammed so fast into the shower I missed you.”
“Sorry about that,” Matthew said, stepping into his room.
“Are you headed out?”
“Yeah,” he said and slipped some underwear on under his towel, and then dropped the towel to the floor. “Soon as I’m done, I’m meeting the guys over at the orchard to hang and shoot the breeze for a little while.”
“Okay, well … when I got up here, the phone rang. I know I normally don’t, but I answered. It was Donna, and she’s going to stop by.”
Matthew turned and looked at the phone then the clock. “I wasn’t planning to see her tonight, but I suppose it’s just as well to have a discussion with her,” he said.
“Um … Diane called her mother; I think Melissa is on her way over too,” Mark said.
Matthew grabbed his jeans, put them on quickly, and shrugged. “Two birds, one stone.”
“What?” Mark asked. He turned and looked down the stairs. Diane stood listening at the bottom with a worried look on her face.
“You know something, Dad,” Matthew said while he grabbed a shirt out of the drawer. “I was so beside myself with girls.” Matthew pulled his shirt on. “It’s all innocent chit chat on the phone, and pizza downtown. Then it’s rivalry stuff or jealousy stuff; the guys aren’t much better about it. I was always so cautious with the way I felt, and the more I think about it, it was because of Mom.”
Matthew pulled his shirt over his head and grabbed a pair of socks.
“Then I think back over all the silly stuff, with Liz and Melissa … then I can’t figure Liz out half the time with the way she is and all. I’ll tell you the truth, though,” he said, grabbing his sneakers and sitting at his desk. “At least
she’s honest about what she does. She’s out just to enjoy the moment and makes no bones about it. There may not be a lot of depth to her and what she wants or does, but there’s generally nothing underhanded about it either. Her end game is to take and enjoy; if you know that ahead of time, then there’re no hurt feelings.”
“What happened with you and her? It seems like whatever it was, it drove a wedge between you and Donna.”
Matthew laced up his shoes and stood. “Liz asked for my help with some things and asked I keep them quiet. I did that, to a fault. I didn’t tell Donna when maybe I should have. Maybe I should have given her the benefit of the doubt as my girlfriend that she would honor my word to Liz and stay quiet also. At the end of the day, my word was more important. I didn’t give her the opportunity to prove she could stay quiet. That’s what caused the issue.”
“And?” Mark asked, stepping backward so Matthew could exit the room.
“And she was upset and it ended. As much as I apologized, she felt the breach of trust was too much, and I don’t exactly blame her for feeling that way.” Matthew headed down the stairs. He stepped past Diane and peeked out the front window to see Melissa walking up the street. “I resigned to the idea that she was upset, justifiably so, and that was the way it was going to be. I tried to talk to her and see if she might come around, but after some time it looked like that wouldn’t be the case, so I started to put it behind me.”
Matthew grabbed his jacket and slipped it on. “Then, all of a sudden, Donna is full court press on me. After I’ve gotten past things and settled my feelings, she’s almost desperate to get back with me. Something didn’t add up, so I was going to put off further discussion about it until after April vacation.”
Matthew looked out again at Melissa. She was still a couple of minutes away, and he turned and looked at Diane. He hesitated again, seeing Melissa in her eyes. “Then I spent this whole week with Missy, and I got to thinking, ‘oh my God, my soulmate; she was right in front of me all this time.’ It hit me like a ton of bricks.”
Diane looked at Mark, and then back to Matthew, and didn’t change her perplexed expression.
Matthew said, “I found my soulmate; the problem was, she didn’t see me.” Matthew opened the front door and headed outside to meet Melissa, who came up the walk.
***
Melissa smiled upon seeing Matthew come out the door to meet her, but her smile evaporated when she caught the look on his face. Almost immediately after, Donna’s car slowed in front of the house, and she pulled it into the driveway.
Melissa stopped where she was on the public sidewalk, and Matthew walked over and past her.
Donna got out of her car. “I spoke with your Father on the phone,”
she said, walking over. “I would have thought he would have told you.”
“He did,” Matthew said. “I didn’t know Missy was on her way, and even if she’d let me know, I hadn’t planned on either of you being here. So long as you are, we can clear the air.” Matthew turned to Donna. “I asked you for total truth between us.” He looked back at Melissa. “I want to know what went on between the two of you.”
“Matthew, look—” Melissa said.
“Excuse me, Missy,” Matthew said. “I want to hear what Donna has to say for herself, and then you and I will have our conversation.”
Donna looked over at Matthew, and then Melissa; her face turned red and a vein pushed out of her forehead. “You know what? I had a good vacation with my family. I missed you while I was away. All I could think about, in between enjoying things there, was coming back to see you and maybe figuring a way to restart things.” She took in a deep breath. “If this is the way you’re going to be, the way you’re going to act, then I don’t want to be with you.”
Matthew remained perfectly still and said nothing.
“So that’s it?” Donna said.
“Yes,” Matthew said. “I admitted what I did; the mistake I made by giving my word to Liz and keeping a secret that I, perhaps, should have discussed with you in the confidence of an exclusive relationship. But I watched you just now, trying to divert the discussion because you’re being less than forthcoming about something. I’m not sure what. I came forward to you and admitted my wrongdoing; you won’t admit yours when asked. I cannot trust you. Without that, there’s nothing.”
Donna stormed off. “He’s all yours, Melissa. Enjoy yourself.”
Matthew said nothing and watched Donna get in her car and drive away. Once her car turned the corner at John Street and disappeared from view, he turned to address Melissa.
Matthew breathed in to speak, and then stopped himself. Then said, “I need a minute, or this won’t come out right.”
Melissa looked up into his eyes. “Just tell me,” she said. “We’ve been friends since you moved here; I may not like what you’re going to say, but I will respect you for it. I’ll understand that it’s something you’re feeling.”
Matthew relaxed a little and turned to walk away. “Can you walk with me and give me a minute to collect my feelings? I don’t want things to go with you and I the way they just did there.”
Melissa stepped up to walk with him. The two strolled together all the way to East Street, where the electric generating station sat quietly offline.
Matthew l
ooked across the front lawn of the facility.
“Penny for your thoughts?” she said quietly with the tiniest of smiles.
Matthew grinned, remembering his earlier response to the same question.
“How come it’s always ‘a penny for your thoughts,’ but when you’re talking you’re ‘putting your two cents in?’” he said.
“Talk to me,” Melissa said, turning in front of him and stopping.
He stood silently for a moment, looking over her head and to the lawn of the power station. He closed his eyes slowly in a long blink and spoke as he opened them back up.
“I can still remember us playing touch football on this lawn. Tim, Mike, you, Carrie, Alecia … we would play until 21, and then sit on the stairs. I remember at that age often just wishing I could grow up; just wishing to be
eighteen. Now that I am, I just want to play touch football.”
Melissa said nothing and simply listened.
“I don’t regret last night,” he said and looked down at her with Beverly’s words echoing in his head. “I want you to know that I imagined a dozen different ways how my first time might go; I never thought it would be such a beautiful memory. I’ll never forget it the rest of my life.”
Melissa immediately got overwhelmed and began to cry.
“I don’t want you to think this was a mistake or that I regret it,” he said.
“I don’t,” Melissa said through her tears. “I admit there were times I wanted it to be done, the first time; just done and gotten past it. So many of my friends have told me how uncomfortable and awkward the moment is.”
She sniffed lightly. “You gave it so much meaning, probably in ways you don’t even understand. I’m still trying to understand it all a day later.”
“Our lives are going to take different tracks,” Matthew said. “You’re going to go to college; I’m going to stay here and work.”
“I’m not sure which school I’m going to,” Melissa said. “Likely, it’ll be Southern or Central; I don’t even know if I can get the loans I need. I’ll probably to need to commute.”
“You don’t even have a car,” Matthew said. “You’ll stay on campus.”