All The Befores

by Samantha Chase

  And he had foolishly volunteered to not only see her but put himself in a position where he’d have to be around her for at least a day or two.

  “I’m a damn fool.”

  Yeah, but he was a responsible one and he knew he couldn’t hide forever.

  This was clearly going to be his new normal – life where he wasn’t dating or marrying Susannah – so he might as well pull the bandage off and deal with it.

  As he drove across town, a thought hit him – when Sam had shown up at his place on Sunday and mentioned coming up with an excuse to get Colton over to the inn, he had shot him down. There was no way he wanted some flimsy excuse to make him look like some sort of clingy man. It was one thing if Susannah didn’t love him; it was another if she lost all respect for him too.

  All this meant was that the work for the inn was legit.

  But it still brought him back to the conversation with Sam.

  After shooting down all the excuses to bring him and Susannah together, they had left it that Sam wasn’t giving up and was willing to do whatever it took to see his mother happy.

  And if he already didn’t think Sam was a good man, that attitude pretty much cemented it for him.

  The one thing Colton had to remind himself was that Susannah’s happiness didn’t necessarily have anything to do with him.

  Not anymore.

  And that was something he couldn’t allow himself to dwell on as he pulled into the long, gravel drive that led to the inn. Once he was parked, he simply sat there and stared up at the house for several minutes as he tried to figure out what he was supposed to do and say when Susannah opened the door. How was he supposed to go back to being casual acquaintances when all he wanted to do was turn back the clock and go back to the way they were before he proposed? How was he going to just talk about carpentry repairs when he knew he was going to want to hold her and kiss her and be with her? How could he possibly…

  A loud knock on the truck window made him jump and brought him out of his reverie.

  Susannah.

  Holding up his hand, he grabbed his clipboard and opened the door. Once he was standing beside her and felt like he could speak, he cleared his throat and forced a smile. “Hey, Susannah.”

  Her smile was a little shy – and completely endearing – as she combed her hair behind her ear. “Hey, Colt. What are you…?” She paused and noticed the clipboard in his hands. “I um…I didn’t realize you were the one who was going to come and look over the repairs the city is insisting I make.”

  With a curt nod, he focused on the house rather than looking at her because it hurt too much. Just days ago, he would have been allowed to lean in and kiss her hello before taking her by the hand and walking up to the front porch. Now he had to keep a respectable distance, act professional, and remember why he was here.

  “Jake didn’t mention what the issue was, but I have to admit that I’m confused. We passed all inspections. It was a done deal. Why was anyone even out here at this point?”

  “It’s my own fault, really. I was down at town hall because I was meeting Mason and Scarlett for lunch. We were going to go over some of the social media campaigns Scarlett’s planning for the inn.”

  He nodded.

  “We were standing around and talking in Mason’s office and I mentioned how I’d like to host larger events in the spring and summer,” she explained, “You know, utilizing the new deck and the gardens.”

  He nodded again.

  “Anyway, out of nowhere, this guy walked in and mentioned overhearing the conversation and said that the deck needed to be rated for commercial use and I’d need to add more lighting!”

  “But…how would he even…?”

  “I know, right? So Mason tried talking to him and this guy was insistent on coming over and inspecting everything since it seemed like this was a new idea.”

  “He really had no right…”

  “I have to admit, Mason really tried to smooth things over, but this guy…” She groaned. “He was just the worst. I was so upset that I told Scarlett we’d have to reschedule lunch and our meeting and I had this…this…jerk follow me home so we could just get the whole thing over with.”

  “Damn, Susannah. I don’t even know what to…”

  “And as if all that wasn’t upsetting enough, he gets done inspecting the deck, walked through the house on his way out, and claimed that the grading on the driveway was not sufficient nor was the space allotted for parking!” Reaching out, she placed a hand on his arm. He knew it wasn’t anything personal – she wasn’t touching him for any other reason except she was upset. But still, it took him a minute to focus on what she was saying and not on how good her hands felt on him.

  “These aren’t small or quick fixes, are they? I mean, the grounds have already been landscaped! I can’t dig up the whole front yard and have it fixed by Friday, Colton! What am I going to do?”

  Next thing he knew, he had his arms full of Susannah and it was a long time before either of them let go.

  4

  Okay, maybe it had been a mistake to fall apart like that, but as Susannah made Colton a fresh cup of coffee while he was on the phone arguing with someone over these new coding issues, she couldn’t find the will to care. Her feelings for him hadn’t gone away or even changed, but their relationship was just…different now.

  He stormed into the kitchen and right out to the deck, arguing the entire time about permits and codes and materials. She had to smile because the man seemed to remember every single detail of what went into the work here on the inn and she knew right now that gave him the advantage.

  Well, at least she hoped it did.

  Unsure of what to do with herself in the meantime, she wiped down the countertops and then placed his coffee on the kitchen table. Hopefully he’d see it when he came back in.

  With nothing left to do, she walked out of the room and to her own apartment. She had converted what had originally been her grandfather’s master suite and two guest rooms into a two-bedroom, two-bathroom apartment for herself. It was really a little more space than she actually needed considering the sheer size of the main house, but with this particular setup she had her own living room and kitchenette so she would have some privacy when the inn was full.

  At some point she would love to hire a live-in innkeeper, someone who would work with her and allow her to have time off and away. That had been the plan when she started and it had really grown on her when she and Colton had gotten serious. The thought of being able to take time off to get away for a vacation and having someone in charge who didn’t have to live in her apartment seemed like the perfect solution. They had even talked about converting the attic to a small apartment but she couldn’t afford to do it right now. Getting the inn up to code had taken every dime her grandfather had left her. Maybe someday she could make it happen.

  Not that she was going to be vacationing or taking time off any time soon.

  With a sigh, Susannah sat down on her sofa and looked out the front window. Now Colton was walking around out there and even though she couldn’t hear him, she could tell he was irritated and desperately trying to make his point.

  As she continued to stare at him through the window, it reminded her of another time not so long ago when she did the same…

  If it wasn’t one thing, it was another, she thought. At some point, Pops was going to have to deal with the fact that this old house needed more than some minor repairs. Another tree limb had fallen and cracked several of the deck steps. Jake was sending one of the guys from his construction crew over to check it out and she hoped she’d be able to get a few words in before her grandfather did. Maybe if she could gently tell this worker how her grandfather needed to be nudged into doing more than a patch job, she’d have a chance of making some headway.

  The sound of a car door slamming had Susannah walking to her bedroom window and peering out.

  And her heart actually felt like it skipped a beat.

  It had
been a long time since the mere sight of a man had her feeling quite like this – it felt foreign and then a little exciting.

  Turning to glance at her reflection in the mirror, she frowned. She was a forty-five-year-old woman and when she looked in the mirror she saw…a forty-five-year-old woman.

  Well that’s depressing.

  Normally she wasn’t quite so critical of herself. On an average day, she felt fairly young and sassy. But now that she was going downstairs to talk to a man who had her feeling like a giddy teenager, she felt every one of her forty-plus years.

  Smoothing a hand over her dirty blonde hair, she looked at her reflection again and sighed. Had she known she was going to feel like this, she would have put a little more effort into how she was dressed and maybe put on a little makeup, but it was too late for that now. With nothing left to do, Susannah left her room and went down the stairs and out onto the front porch.

  There was no sign of her grandfather and for that she was relieved. When the man from Coleman Construction turned around, she raised her hand to wave, smiled, and…yeah, her heart fluttered again.

  He was tall with dark hair that was grey at the temples and when he smiled back she could see he had dimples. Her feet felt like they were glued to the spot and she couldn’t move. Not that it mattered. He sauntered over and Susannah swore his eyes never left hers.

  Even though he was wearing sunglasses.

  “Hey,” he said softly, with a bit of a Southern drawl. He held out his hand to her. “I’m Colton Hale. I’m here to take a look at the back deck.”

  Susannah reached out and shook his hand and had to stifle a moan of pleasure. His hand was large and warm, his skin rough.

  And it felt better than it should have.

  Swallowing hard, she hoped she didn’t look foolish. “Hi, Colton. I’m Susannah Westbrook – Ezekiel’s granddaughter. We’ve been expecting you.”

  He took off his sunglasses as he stepped up onto the porch. She noticed he had sky blue eyes and she definitely had to force herself not to stare. Colton Hale was everything she found attractive in a man – tall, rugged, and exceedingly polite.

  Something she found very endearing as they walked through the house discussing the problem with the deck. They had barely made it out the back door when her grandfather approached them.

  “Ah, Colton!” Ezekiel said with a smile. “I was hoping you were the one Jake was going to send. Come on, let me show you the damage we’ve got!”

  Colton looked at her with a lopsided grin. “It was nice meeting you, Susannah. I hope we get to see each other again.” And this time when he shook her hand, his touch lingered.

  And just like that, she found herself hoping for the same thing.

  And that was how it all began.

  It started with him coming over for that one repair, but then it was only two weeks later that Hurricane Amelia hit and the work on the house began. For as much as she had wanted to renovate the big family home for years, it still saddened her how it ended up finally happening. She did her best to preserve the family history and stay true to the design of the house, but she also had fun with decorating it.

  And Colton had been there for every step of it.

  They were probably the only two people who had been here every single day and seen the entire transformation. She used to tease him how the house was as much his as it was hers simply because of the time and attention he put into it. And here he was still putting in time and attention even when she was certain it was the last place he wanted to be.

  She wasn’t a fool. She had seen the wariness on his face when he climbed from the truck earlier. So many things were on the tip of her tongue to say to him – to apologize, to explain herself – but she pushed it all aside and opted to stick to business because it was safer. Her ex used to tell her how she always tried to make everything about herself and it was something she was very aware of. The last thing she wanted was for Colton to feel that way about her so maybe it was better to simply not talk about herself and her feelings.

  But it was slowly killing her.

  Unable to take her eyes off of him, she watched as he came back around to the front of the house. He paced the driveway as he continued to talk on the phone. She knew how knowledgeable he was about everything that had to do with construction and on this particular job and she had no doubt he was making his point for why everything that was done was done to code.

  She almost felt bad for the person on the other end of the line.

  Almost.

  In the blink of an eye he was sliding his phone back into its clip on his belt and walking back toward the front porch.

  Susannah jumped to her feet and met him in the foyer. “Well?” she asked nervously. “How did it go?” It killed her to see how uncomfortable he looked and she knew it was only partly because of whatever transpired on the phone.

  “Well, we need to put a couple of reinforcements on the deck, which isn’t a big deal.”

  “O-kay…”

  “But I made him take a look at all the reports and permits on the driveway and the fact that this is a historical property and as such, there are certain codes that are grandfathered in.” He shrugged. “We came to an agreement that it’s fine and nothing needs to be done to it.”

  “Really?” she cried excitedly.

  He nodded. “Yup.”

  “So...that’s it? It’s all taken care of already?”

  Nodding, Colton replied, “Yup. We had all the permits done correctly and if we modify the deck with some extra bracing and do some strategic solar lights, you’ll be fine.”

  “Wow, I...I don’t even know what to say. That seemed...I mean...I thought…”

  “Yeah, it was a little anticlimactic,” he agreed with a low laugh. They stood in companionable silence for several minutes before he took a step back. “Uh, I’m going to head to the building supply place down in Wilmington and get what we need. I should be back after lunch and I’ll get it all done before the sun goes down.”

  “Colt, I...thank you,” she said quietly.

  “You don’t have to thank me, Susannah. We’ve said often enough that I’m just as invested in the inn as you are. There was no way I was going to let someone walk in here and hold up your grand opening on some minor technicality.”

  There were so many things she wanted to say but...she didn’t. “Okay then. I guess I’ll just...see you later.”

  With a curt nod, he turned and walked out the door.

  If anyone were to ask him, Colton would say he felt good right now. There had been a problem and he handled it without losing his cool and without groveling for Susannah to take him back.

  That was progress in his book.

  There was still the rest of the day to get through and he knew that meant spending all that time with her once he got back to the inn. She had a habit of watching him work and asking all kinds of questions and he had no idea how he would handle it if she did that today. Maybe she was okay with the way things were between them, but he still wasn’t.

  And as he pulled back into the driveway a few hours later, he still didn’t know what to expect.

  Rather than go to the front door and walk through the house, he opted to walk around the outside and set up his tools and ladders under the deck. He had everything just about set up when he heard footsteps over his head. Part of him wanted to howl to be left alone, but there was part of him that was still a little desperate for the sight of her.

  She came down the steps and found him securing a ladder against the house. He purposely did it so he could keep his back to her for a little bit longer while he got his emotions under control.

  “Hey,” she said as she came closer. “Did you have time to stop for lunch? I could make you something to eat.”

  “Uh…thanks but...I grabbed a burger on my way back.”

  “Oh.”

  Colton moved around her and began putting the bit on the drill and loading his tool belt with all the screws he was going
to need.

  “So, how many of those brackets do you need to put on?”

  “Eight.”

  “And how long do you think it will take?”

  He knew what she was doing – it had always been their thing and normally he didn’t mind talking to her while he worked.

  Just not today.

  “Hopefully just an hour or two. But there’s a box with the new solar lights in them near the bottom of the stairs if you’d like to take them and line the paths a bit. I bought six for the base of the deck stairs and then a dozen to go along toward the gazebo and another dozen leading to the pier.”

  “I’m not sure I’d know…”

  “You just take them from the box and push them in the ground. No other tools are necessary. After that, the sun will charge them and tonight you’ll see how well they work.” He turned his back to her again and began to climb the ladder, hoping she’d get the hint and let him be.

  She did.

  Two hours later – as he had predicted – he was done. Susannah was still milling about in the yard, pondering the perfect placement for the solar lights and Colton allowed himself a minute to simply observe. Even from across the yard he could see the way she was biting her lip as she stuck one of the lights in the ground. Then she stood up and inspected her work while trying to push her long bangs from her eyes.

  He knew her every mood, her every pose, every movement – had memorized them over the last year. And even as he watched her now, he could almost hear her second-guessing her decision on where she placed the lights and wondering if she should have let him do them instead. She had done that so many times over the course of the renovation. Susannah had incredible taste and a strong work ethic, yet she lacked the confidence in herself. No matter how many times he praised her or complimented her, she always found it hard to believe him.

  And believe in herself.

  If he stood here much longer, his thoughts were going to take him places he didn’t want to go. He had gotten the work done, took pictures of everything and sent them to the city inspector to show it was all done and scheduled the inspection for the following day. Next he packed up all his tools and supplies and began carrying them out to his truck. Once that was done, he had no choice but to seek Susannah out and let her know he was finished.