by Rachel Hanna
“How long ago did she say that?”
“I don't know. A few months ago, I guess.”
“Maybe she's changed her mind. A lot of time has passed. She went through a really nasty divorce, so I'm sure it takes a lot of time to get over that.”
“I know. Which is why I haven't pushed. But I have to say, I kind of feel like I'm in this holding pattern. I'm a marriage kind of guy. I want her living under the same roof with me. I want to think of Meg’s daughter as my granddaughter. There's just so much more with marriage.”
William stopped sanding and leaned against the opposite railing. “Are you afraid you're wasting your time dating her? I mean, what if she never wants to get married?”
Dawson sighed. “I don't know what I'll do. I certainly don't want to be with anyone else, but I also don't want to spend the rest of my life with a girlfriend. I want a wife. I'm just not sure I'm able to get that with Julie.”
“Then maybe you should talk to her, man. Fear lives in the dark. Just bring it out in the light. Lay it all out and see what happens.”
Dawson chuckled. “Look at you being a philosopher,” he said, tossing the piece of sandpaper at William and hitting him right in the forehead.
William laughed and shrugged his shoulders. “I date a yoga teacher. What else do you expect from me?”
Colleen was a nervous wreck. As she watched the kids file off the small passenger van, she wondered what in the world she’d gotten herself into. She knew next to nothing about kids, especially ones that had been traumatized in some way. Maybe this was more than she was capable of handling.
She took in a deep breath, like her aunt Janine had advised her to do when she was under stress, and remembered that she wasn't alone. Tucker was standing right beside her, and Dawson was on the other side. Together, the three of them were determined to make this an amazing event for these kids.
She had always been the type to take on immense amounts of responsibility. Even when something didn't require that, she always felt like things were her fault and rested on her shoulders. Sometimes it served her well, especially in work environments. But, other times it put her in a situation of being way too hard on herself.
“Wow, there's more of them than I thought. Are we sure it's only fifteen kids?” Tucker said quietly.
Amy, the head of the foster care office, walked over to them, a big smile on her face. The kids were still lined up next to the bus with a couple of social workers.
“I promise that it's just fifteen kids,” she said. “You guys look a little rattled.”
Colleen managed to smile. “We're just exhausted. I had no idea how much work went into setting up a camp, so I really hope the kids enjoy it.”
“They're super excited. They've never been involved in anything like this, so I'm sure they're going to love it. Should we head over to the bunks?”
Colleen and Dawson had managed to get some local furniture stores to donate bunkbeds for the barn. It wasn't an old, rickety barn. It was pretty state of the art, Dawson having only built it a couple of years ago. It also had its own HVAC system which meant that the kids would be perfectly comfortable out there. Dawson had actually built it with the idea of being able to rent it out for weddings, even before he’d decided to open the inn.
“Absolutely. Why don't we walk over and meet the kids, and we will show them where they're staying.”
The three of them followed Amy over to the bus. The kids were squirmy and full of energy. At least, most of them were. There were a couple that looked shellshocked and honestly didn't look like they wanted to be there.
“Kids, these are your hosts for the camp. I'm going to let them introduce themselves to you.”
Taken aback, Colleen decided she probably should be first given that Tucker looked like he wanted to run away. He wasn't the greatest in situations where he had to be the center of attention.
“Well, my name is Colleen. And this is my coworker, Tucker. We work for a toy invention company, and we're super excited to show you guys some of our inventions and help you come up with some of your own.”
The kids just stood there, staring at her, blankly. She realized what she had just described probably sounded a lot like school, and these kids definitely weren't interested in school right now.
“Hi, guys. My name is Tucker. As Colleen said, we work for a toy invention company, we have some really cool things to show you guys. We will be having some classes later in the week. You can draw your own inventions, and we’ll talk about some of our more successful ones.”
Again, she could swear that she heard crickets even over the ocean waves behind her. This was not going well.
“Hey, kids! I’m Dawson. I own this beautiful inn behind us. And we're gonna have tons of fun this week. We're going to do some fishing, playing in the ocean, do some fun outdoor games. We're going to eat some amazing food, and there will be all kinds of prizes!”
The kids let out a big roar, some of them clapping and laughing. Colleen looked at him, thankful that Dawson had gotten them excited.
“What prizes?” Colleen whispered in Dawson’s ear.
He shrugged his shoulders. “I don't know. We'll figure it out.” She couldn't help but laugh.
“Colleen, why don't you show us where the kids will be staying?” Amy said.
Colleen nodded and waved for everyone to follow her. Dawson followed along closely while Tucker stayed back, probably thankful to get out of the situation for a few minutes.
“So this is the bunkhouse…”
“This looks like a barn!” a young boy shouted out. He looked to be about eight or nine years old, scruffy brown hair, freckles across his nose and a huge gap between his teeth. He was adorable but looked like a throwback from the 1950s. She expected he was the type of little boy that liked to hang out in the creek beds, looking for worms and muscadines.
“Well, it is a barn…”
“Gross. We're staying in a barn? We’re not animals!” a little girl shouted out.
“Actually, it's very nice…”
The kids couldn't hear Colleen over their very loud whining. She wasn't sure she would ever have children after this.
“Hey, kids, listen up!” Dawson said, his voice commanding. The kids all stopped talking and looked up at him. “I built this place with my bare hands. It's the nicest barn you're ever going to see in your lives complete with brand new bunkbeds. Now, I can get the tents out of my garage and we can do a camp out, or you can check this place out and see what you think. Is that a deal?”
“I don't want to sleep in a tent! I’m scared of bugs!” the same little girl said.
“Then why don't we check this place out first?”
The kids nodded as Dawson walked over and slid the barn doors open. Colleen could hear the kids gasp when they saw what a nice place it was. With soaring beams and beautiful chandelier style light fixtures hanging from the ceiling, it was no barn. It might've looked that way on the outside, but no animals were ever getting in here.
The kids started running around, tossing their bags onto whichever bed they were choosing. Colleen let out a sigh of relief as she turned to Dawson. “Thank you so much for taking control. I didn't know what to say to these little rugrats.”
Dawson laughed. “I guess I'm good with kids because I have a very immature brain.” She slapped him on the arm lightly.
“No, you don't. But you are good with them. It's a shame that…” Before she could stop herself, the words had just popped right out of her mouth. Knowing that Dawson had lost his only child, she couldn't believe she had stuck her foot in her mouth so badly. “Oh my gosh, Dawson. I'm so sorry. I didn't mean to say that…”
He smiled. “It's okay, Colleen. I know what you meant. It is a shame. I feel like I would've been a pretty good dad. I guess I won't ever know.”
The sadness that washed over her almost made her cry. She loved her own father, of course. But she would've been happy to have a father like Dawson, and she wished there
was a way he could experience that. But for now, she had to focus on the camp. There were fifteen little crazy people running around the barn, and she had to reassess whether she knew what in the world to do to keep them all entertained for the next week.
Dawson leaned back against the heavy Adirondack chair and blew out a long breath. He was exhausted. Absolutely fatigued all the way to his core in a way he’d never felt in his life. Kids took a lot of work!
Now that it was night time, he appreciated a few minutes of solitude. The only thing he could hear, besides the distant giggling in the bunkhouse, was the ocean waves in front of him. He loved having a deck right beside the ocean. No place on earth felt more peaceful to him.
“Glass of wine?” Julie said from behind him. He hadn’t even heard her pull up.
“You know I'm not a wine guy,” he said with a chuckle.
Julie walked closer and put a can of beer in front of his face. “Yes, I know that.” She sat down in the chair next to him, reaching over and rubbing his arm. “Long day?”
“Extremely. Those kids are so full of energy. It was actually a lot of fun.”
“I’m glad you had a good time. Lucy said they ate way more food than she thought they would so she's going to have to cook more tomorrow.”
“Yeah, we didn't have nearly enough. Some of those boys eat twice what I do in a day!”
“I never had boys, so I wouldn't know, but my girls ate a lot. Constant snacking, as I remember.”
He took a sip of his beer. “It was fun. We did a bunch of competitions, gave away some prizes. Colleen and I weren't exactly prepared for that, so she snuck away in the middle of the day to get a few things. It's amazing what kids will do for a pack of gum or a stuffed animal.”
Julie laughed. “Well, it sounds like you had an eventful day. I kept Vivi for a little while, worked at the bookstore. Finally wrote another scene for my novel.”
He looked over at her and smiled. She was so beautiful. She just had that girl next-door look that every guy dreamed of. And she really was like that, so down to earth, funny and kind. Like his perfect partner sent straight from heaven. He flashed back to his conversation with William and wondered if she would ever be interested in marriage again.
“I miss you,” he said. She looked at him, her eyebrows furrowed together.
“I’m sitting right here.”
He reached over and squeezed her hand. Sitting there with her, in two big Adirondack chairs overlooking the ocean, was the best place he could imagine on earth. When he let his mind run away with itself, he could imagine them sitting in those very same chairs watching grandchildren run around and play on the sand. “I mean I miss that we don't get to spend so much time together these days. I'm busy with the inn, and then this camp. You're busy with work and that new grand baby. Everything just feels like it gets more complicated by the day.”
Julie put down her wine glass and stood up. She took his can and put it on the table before sliding down into his lap and laying her head against his chest. Now he really was in his favorite place on earth.
“I’m always here. I'm not going anywhere.”
“I know, but I guess…”
He hesitated on saying anything further. The last thing he needed, especially after such a long day, was a deep emotional conversation. His brain just couldn't take much more.
“But what?” She pulled back and looked at him, concern written all over her face.
He rubbed his thumb over her cheek. “I guess I just wish that at the end of every long day, you were here, waiting for me.”
“But I am here. And I can come by more often, every day if you want.”
Dawson shook his head. “You're not really understanding what I'm saying. I mean that I would love it if we turned out the lights together every night and went upstairs to our own room.”
Julie sat back and stared at him, her face unreadable. “Dawson, I guess I'm old-school but I just don't believe in living together. I mean, I know Meg and Christian are living together but that's a little bit different because they have a child…”
He chuckled. “I’m not asking you to live with me, Julie. I'm just wishing and hoping.”
“Hoping for what exactly?”
He sighed. “You know what? This is great. We have the perfect set up. I guess I'm just a little tired tonight and overthinking things.”
“Are you sure?”
He smiled and kissed her hand. “I’m sure. I'm one lucky man, and I will never take that for granted.”
Julie laid her head back down on his chest. As he ran his hand over her hair, he wished he had the courage to say what he really wanted to say. Maybe he should've proposed in that moment. Maybe he should've just thrown it all out there like William recommended. The fear got to him. The fear that she would say no. The fear that she would walk away. The fear that nothing would ever be the same again. For tonight, he was content to just hold her in his arms and wish for the future of his dreams.
Chapter Seven
Julie sat at the table across from Janine and Meg. Getting away for a quick lunch to start planning Dixie and Harry's reception was a wonderful break in her day. Christian was keeping the baby so that the girls could go out to lunch. Of course, Colleen was way too busy running the camp back at the inn.
“So, I think that eight tables should be enough. We should be able to seat at least six people at each. I've also been working on the guest list. I don't think Dixie wants it to be a huge affair,” Julie said, sliding a diagram across the table to her sister and daughter. It was good to have people helping her plan, because this whole thing could easily have been overwhelming for one person to handle.
“How are we set on the food? I know you were going to have the bistro do the catering?”
“Yes. And we're also going to have a food truck there. They're going to be doing desserts and margaritas.”
“You found a food truck that does desserts and margaritas? And why can't we hire them full-time to just sit outside of your house?”Meg asked, laughing.
“First off, you’re underage, young lady. And secondly, they’re bookstore customers, so they're doing me a favor. They normally sell barbecue.”
Janine laughed. “I don't think Dixie would be okay with barbecue at her wedding reception, so good plan on the desserts and drinks.”
“Dawson said that we can use this area over here for the dance floor,” Julie said, pointing to her diagram.
“What about a DJ?” Janine asked.
“Already handled. I have to work with him on the music list because I highly doubt that Dixie is going to want rap music or the latest country crooner. I know she and Harry really enjoy big band and old jazz.”
“Boring,” Meg said under her breath. Of course, she was only a twenty year old. She certainly wasn't into big band music.
“That should about cover everything. If you guys can just help with some of the final details, we should be good to go. I thought it might be fun to have the pastor there and an archway with flowers so that Harry and Dixie can say their vows again in front of everyone. What do you think?”
“I think that will be beautiful," Janine said, smiling. "It's all so romantic. I mean, I know it's not a real wedding or anything, but it's the next best thing.”
“Christian asked me the other day about getting married.”
“What did you say?” Julie asked, hopeful that her daughter was ready to tie the knot. Her old fashioned values were coming out again, but she really wanted to see a wedding ring on her daughter’s finger now that she and Christian had a child together.
“I’m not ready yet. I want to finish up with my schooling so that I can totally focus on a big, beautiful wedding. I know I want to marry Christian. I don't have any doubts about that, but I'm in no rush.”
Julie felt a bit crestfallen by that, but she wasn't going to show it. The relationship she had with Meg was wonderful, and her daughter was an adult. She was a mother herself. She was perfectly capable of maki
ng her own life decisions whether Julie always agreed with them or not.
“I don't know if I would want a big wedding, but I'm a lot older than you,” Janine said. “Of course, William and I are nowhere near getting married. We've had a few blips in our relationship, and he is so focused on his new business. We have a little ways to go before we get there.”
“I’m with you on the big wedding thing. If I ever got married again, I would want a small ceremony, just a few friends and family. I did the whole big white dress, fancy ceremony. One time was enough.”
Meg and Janine stared at Julie. “You're thinking about getting married again?” Meg asked.
“Oh, no. Besides, Dawson hasn’t asked me.”
Janine grinned. “What would you say if he did ask you?”
Julie rolled her eyes. “I don't play pretend, my dear sister.”
“Oh, come on! You know you'd love to marry Dawson. He's the catch of the county!”
Julie laughed. “Don't tell him that. He'll get a big head.”
“It's hard to imagine you being married again,” Meg said. Julie couldn't read the look on her face.
“I’m not getting married. I was just talking about weddings because y’all were.”
“But what would you say if he asked you?” Meg said.
“I don't know. I'm not sure I'd ever want to get married again. Dawson was talking kind of funny about it last night. He said he wished I was there every night so then we could turn off the lights at the end of the night and go to our own room.”
“Gross,” Meg said, pretending like she was about to throw up.
Julie laughed. “Well, that’s what he said.”
“He loves you so much, sis. You couldn’t find a better man.”
Julie looked at Meg, worried that Janine’s comment might have offended her. After all, Michael was her father, and she didn’t want anyone trying to ruin her daughters’ relationship with their dad, no matter what a dirtbag he was.