by Tl Reeve
“Wait…what did you just say?”
“Which part?”
“All of it,” she whimpered.
“You didn’t know you were pregnant?” A few papers ruffled, then the nurse sighed. “When was your last period?”
Last period. She couldn’t think. With Royce and heat and things going wrong, keeping track kind of fell by the wayside. “I... Well...”
“You’re pregnant, dear,” the nurse replied.
“No…” Charisma swallowed so loudly she was sure the woman heard it through their connection. “I wasn’t aware. Do you… Do you know how far along I am?”
“According to your levels, the doctor is estimating around eight to ten weeks. Be aware though, it’s just a range and sometimes those numbers don’t reflect proper fetal gestation. When you get your first ultrasound, which would be at your next appointment, the doctor will be able to date your pregnancy more accurately.” The nurse continued to talk, and she only heard half of what the woman was saying. Her mind was still stuck at her being pregnant.
“Ms. Winters?”
She blinked, realizing the nurse had been calling her name to get her attention. Her mouth twisted in disgust at the nurse calling her by her maiden name. It was yet another bone of contention. Three years into the mating, and Royce kept pushing off their official mating ceremony where she’d have the right to the Raferty name. “Yes. I’m sorry. I’m here.”
“It’s okay, dear. I’ve given you a shock.” The nurse laughed. What an understatement. “I asked what pharmacy you use?” Charisma closed her eyes, taking a deep breath and trying to calm her racing heart. “Doctor Oliver wants you to not take the B-12 and start taking prenatal vitamins. We can call in a prescription for you for the entire pregnancy.”
“I...uh…I don’t have a pharmacy.” Yes, there were two drug stores in town. Charisma would be damned if she went to either one. News would spread like wildfire, and Royce would lock her ass down.
Not happening.
Charisma heard papers shuffling again. “The paperwork states you live in Window Rock. I can call it into Bart’s Pharmacy. It’s right on Main street.”
“Yes. I do know where it is, but I’m in the process of moving. I’ll just grab a bottle of over the counter and then when I settle, I’ll have you call in a prescription to the nearest pharmacy. Will that do?” Charisma struggled to keep her voice calm. She hoped the panic coursing through her body wasn’t coming through in her tone.
The nurse sighed. “Yes. I’m not really sure what is going on, dear, and I fear even if I asked, you wouldn’t tell me, so I’m not going to bother.” Charisma was extremely grateful the nurse was keeping this conversation professional. Any worry or concern would cause the dam she fought back to burst. “Prenatal vitamins are pretty standard stuff. Any pharmacy has them. Once your prescription is filled you can always transfer it to one closer to wherever you move to.”
“Okay. Thank you. You said the doctor wanted to see me next week?” she posed, hoping to change the subject. “Can I make the appointment with you or do I have to call into the main number?”
“I can make the appointment for you. What day and time will work best for you next week?”
“Friday after lunch would be perfect,” she said, nibbling on her thumbnail. She knew full well she would never make the appointment.
“I have a two twenty-five or three o’clock next Friday, which one works best?”
“The three o’clock, please,” Charisma said.
“Feel free to contact the office if you should need anything before then. You can reach me directly at extension four-one-five. My name is Rachel.”
Rachel’s concern for her, a stranger Charisma had talked to briefly about her test results, touched her deeply. Rachel cared more about her welfare than her own mate. “Thank y-y-you, Rachel.” Charisma cringed at her stuttering and quickly disconnected the call before she lost her shit.
She threw the phone on the couch beside her before curling into a ball and cried at the unfairness of her life. For three years, she had never conceived and now when she was ready to stand on her own two feet away from her mate, the fates had decided to throw a monkey wrench into her plans.
Royce had gotten her pregnant.
No…she shook her head in denial. Her baby, although unexpected, was not unwanted. It didn’t go unnoticed either that Charisma already referred to the zygote as a baby, and not a pup. She had, effectively, already cut Royce and his shifter DNA from the equation.
She’d be taking a piece of the man she loved with her when she left. Even though it killed her knowing her baby hadn’t been made in “love.” It hadn’t even been made in lust. It had been made in duty.
To her though, it didn’t matter. She’d love and care for the child whether it was a boy or girl. She should feel some semblance of guilt for planning to take her child from their family…from Royce. She didn’t though. Guilt wasn’t even on her radar at this point. Their baby didn’t deserve to grow up in this type of environment, and Charisma wondered if Royce would resent their child as he resented her. She knew he already felt entrapped by their mating; the baby, well, Royce was a Raferty, and he would be honor bound to remain with her. She didn’t want that. Wouldn’t be able to stand to see the life ebb from his beautiful blue eyes day after day.
Her focus needed to be on leaving town, getting settled in her new home and taking caring of herself and, in a few months, her baby.
Charisma placed her palms against her belly, tentatively pressing down. Her stomach felt hard, and she swore she could feel the heat the little baby generated through her skin.
The door closed behind her. “Who was that?”
Her heart lodged in her throat. “No one for you to concern yourself with.”
Charisma gathered her strength and headed into the bedroom. She found her suitcases in their closet and began throwing her shit into them, uncaring of what went where. It didn’t really matter; the clothes wouldn’t fit her much longer anyway. Thankfully, she had a well-padded bank account thanks to the generosity of her father. Buying clothes and supplies for her or the baby would never be a concern.
“Hey now, what’s this?”
She glanced up at her mate and saw the confusion in his eyes. The way he looked as though he’d lost his best friend should have torn her apart. Instead, the resolve deep within her built. Charisma Winters was doing the right thing. Later she’d grab her personal belonging like books and pictures.
She grabbed more of her clothes from the dresser and put them into her case. “I am going to help Penelope for a few days. She’s in need of some sister time. Since you find it convenient to continue to leave me, though you’ve supposedly told me the truth, this should make it easier on you to be ‘undercover’.”
Royce growled. “I have always told the truth, Charisma. I’ve never lied.”
“Is that before or after you took this job without telling me?” She cocked a brow before showing him her back. She pulled more of her things from the drawers. “I have to admit, you’re pretty smooth with the whole soulful puppy routine, but when it comes down to it, you’re just a dog.”
“I deserve that,” he said, crossing to her. “I deserve all of your venom. I assumed by me explaining the situation, it would ease your mind. I miscalculated.”
She snorted. “You think?” She hurried into the bathroom and grabbed all of her shower stuff. “It must feel good to believe you’re so convincing, you can dupe your mate whenever you feel like it.”
He shook his head. “No, Oasis, it doesn’t. I hate this. I hate how you look at me. I hate how you’re pulling away from me. I hate the fact nothing I am saying or doing is convincing you, I’m sorry.”
She dropped everything into the bag then zipped it up. “Well, sorry doesn’t cut it anymore. I have wasted three years of my life hoping I’d be given a sign things were going my way. Now, I’m making my own.” She carried the bag out of the room and wondered, probably not for the
last time, if she should be carrying anything.
“What are you talking about, Charisma?” He grabbed her arm, tugging her back into his arms. The bag she held slipped from her hand and fell to the floor.
“I don’t know how much plainer I need to be about this, Royce Raferty, but I am leaving to go stay with Penelope and Saber. They at least will welcome me. At least there I am needed and won’t be ignored.”
“Charisma, baby, please tell me who called you. Is that why you’re upset? Did someone call and say something to you?”
“Why, Royce, what would anyone tell me that would leave you feeling guilty?” The sweetness in her voice made her sick. If she hadn’t wretched up the contents of her stomach a couple of hours ago, she would have then.
“Nothing. I told you, my dick is yours. Only yours. You’re my mate. I can’t go around fucking whoever I want to, and I don’t want to anyway.” He ran his fingers through his hair then gave the short locks a tug. “You’re scared. I asked because your heart is beating fast. I thought someone tried to harm you.”
She laughed. “Who’d want to harm me? I’m the fat cow, remember.”
His blue eyes turned a shade of chilling ice-blue. His lip curled as he growled. When they first started this ill-fated mating, he’d walk her to and from her classes, watching over her like a dutiful boyfriend. There were some who made sounds of approval and then those who mooed at her or talked shit behind her back. Brooklyn and her bitch friends had been the instigators of it. Tearing her down bit by bit, until Charisma began taking her classes online to avoid the hell of community college. The only time she saw Marie was when they were in the orphanage and, even then, their time together was limited.
“Fuck them,” Royce snarled. “Fuck all of them.”
Again, another pang of jealousy reared its ugly head. “You already did. Everyone knows the legends of the Raferty and Dryer families around here. You’re all lotharios. You all could fuck knots in trees if you knew it was legal. Spare me your disdain. Spare me your avenger complex, Royce. You can’t save everyone, and you’re sure as hell not going to save me. I’ll do it myself.”
Disbelief filled his features before he buried it. Could she have been wrong this whole time? Could her self-image issues cloud what stood in front of her? She glanced up at Royce. No. Not in the least. Three years she played the role perfectly. She didn’t question, and she didn’t run away. She’d been right there, in this apartment, a dirty secret until he decided to tell his version of what the truth may be.
Nope, she hadn’t made the wrong decision. A sense of rightness filled her. The little pep talk she’d given herself while trying to find an apartment had been just what she needed to walk out the door.
“Charisma.” Pain and disbelief filled his voice. His eyes were red rimmed from unshed tears. She made a direct hit on everything she said, and a little voice in the back of her mind whispered, you broke him.
Yeah...well, pot meet kettle. He’d done it a long time ago. He finished smashing her to pieces when he pulled his little scenario of telling the truth. Like she would believe something so asinine. So unbelievable. Truth went a long way with her. He could have been up front about it from the very beginning, and she would have listened. Hell, she might have given him the benefit of the doubt. She might have helped him. She definitely would have kept his secret.
“Royce,” she said, trying to muster all the strength she could. “It’s for the best I leave. You have to pull off this job still. I can’t be here right now. I can’t even stand being around you or myself. I let you pull me down this rabbit hole, and now I need to find myself.”
He took a step toward her, and Charisma flinched. She’d never flinched before. Never tried to pull away from any of his affection. However, knowing now what he’d been doing... She had to go.
“I can’t do this if you’re not here when I come home,” he whispered. “Don’t you understand? You’re the reason it’s easier to do this job. Coming home to you, even when I feel the guiltiest, eases the ache in my heart.”
“Well, you should have thought about what you were doing to me on all those nights I spent here alone. All those nights I cried myself to sleep. You were out pretending to care more for a fake girlfriend than you ever cared for me.” She wrapped her palm around the suitcase handle and stepped around him. “Goodbye, Royce.”
She tuned out his voice. Tuned out the fact a container of her favorite tea sat on her counter with her name on it. She avoided the flowers beside it and put her hand on the door. She gave him one last look. “This could have been a happy home, Royce. But, you had to lie to me.”
She hurried out the door. If she took a moment to think about what she was doing, she’d chicken out. She needed to steel herself from the pain. She needed to not look back—always look forward. The warm sun of the early afternoon had her second guessing everything. Monsoon season made the air wetter, more constricting. She patted her face, only realizing then she’d been crying, not sweating.
With her things secured in the back of her vehicle, she hopped in behind the wheel. She glanced up to where their apartment was. Part of her hoped to see Royce there, that he’d at least given a shit.
No one stared back at her.
She was alone.
She backed out of her spot and headed for the exit. She had to call Penelope. She hadn’t meant to say she’d be with her sister. Royce frustrated her. Made her feel like whatever she’d been about to do was wrong. It’d been anything but. Time after time, he proved to her he wasn’t there for her. Guilt kept him coming back. She let him go.
She pushed the call button on her dash screen. When it beeped, she said, “Call Penny Ann.”
“Calling Penny Ann.”
The phone rang twice before her sister answered. “Hey, Charisma. What’s going on?”
“Look, Royce will probably be coming by the house sometime today or tomorrow or next week.” She scrubbed her forehead. “Stall for me, okay. Tell him I ran an errand, or I had a lunch date with someone.”
“Do I even want to know?”
“No. You don’t. It’s better for you not to.”
Penelope sighed. “Charisma, what happened?”
She glanced in the rearview mirror. “Look, the less you know the better off you are, promise.”
Her sister muttered something Charisma couldn’t make out.
“Anyway, when I get settled, I’ll give you a call and let you know where I am. Until then, know I am safe and fine.”
“Yeah, that’s what I am worried about.” Penelope wouldn’t lecture her. Charisma had done it enough times, neither of them liked it anymore. However, she did feel a bit guilty dragging her sister into this.
“Saber wants to know if this has anything to do with that Katie chick or Brooklyn. You know they’re bad news, right?”
What, did everyone know about these two apparent bitches or Royce’s job, and only she was finding out now? “Tell Saber I appreciate his concern, but like I said I’m—”
“Okay, I heard you the first time. Which means you’re really not okay, but telling me anything isn’t in your vocabulary.”
“Look, I’ll call you, sis. I love you.” Charisma’s finger drifted over the end button.
“Love you too. Be careful.”
“I will, mom.” Before her sister could say something obnoxious back, Charisma hit end on the call. Her sister was right about a lot of things. Maybe she had gone about the situation wrong. Maybe she should have listened to Royce... No, you did the right thing. He messed this up. Not you. He lied.
Did he really? Looking at it from the perspective of a deputy or someone undercover, it’s not like he could tell her everything. He had a cover to maintain. He had places to be and being seen with Charisma would blow that cover.
She sighed.
Why did her life have to be so fucking complicated? Why did she have to end up with someone in law enforcement? Why did she have to have such low self-esteem she allowed Royce to
do what he wanted when he wanted when it came to her? The first time he neglected her need was one time too many. He took advantage of her, throwing out words like mates and Oasis.
If being mates meant screwing her over, Charisma wanted nothing to do with it or him. No way would she allow another shifter to run roughshod over her. From this moment forward, she’d be the one calling the shots. She’d take care of her child whether it’s a boy or a girl. She’d be the one to make sure if anything happened, her child never wondered if mommy wanted her.
When Charisma got to the city limits sign then the county line, she breathed a sigh of relief. She’d made it out of there without being stopped. The biggest downside to being mated to a Raferty was the family that came with it. All of them worked for the sheriff’s department, except Mackenzie. They always knew the town business first, always had their fingers in some pie they didn’t belong in. It’d been why she pulled into the first grocery store she found outside of Window Rock and Apache County. At least there, she could check out on her own and not have to interact with people.
Charisma got out of her SUV and stared off towards the east—towards home. The small voice in the back of her head told her once more she needed to go home. Needed to stay. However, Charisma continued to ignore it. There was nothing there for her. She crossed the parking lot to the entrance of the store. Once inside she went to the vitamin aisle. There were several different brands of prenatal vitamins on the shelf. One helped to calm a stomach. The other gave an extra boost of energy. One said it was recommended by all doctors, while the other said it was all organic.
Who knew picking out something for a baby could be so hard? Again, she placed her hand to her belly. A baby. She was still in shock over the announcement. She should take a minute and think about everything. Of course, the easiest thing to do, in those moments, standing there, was to blame her rash behavior on hormones. She had perfectly good reason to.
“They’re all the same,” a woman said beside her.
In her cart sat a little girl with blonde hair in pigtails. A little boy a couple of years older than the girl held onto the side of the buggy. His tawny hair fell over his eyes, and he kept jerking his head to the right to clear it from his vision. The woman rested her hand on her small belly and smiled. “This will be number three.”