by Kiki Leach
"Oh my God," I mumbled.
"That ASSHOLE President of your club has known about me for my entire goddamn life?! Which means he threatened you with this shit -- threatened to tell me if you didn't help him steal from the club? It's why he wanted my ass taken out after this wedding -- he knew I was bound to find out this shit -- knew I was bound to come after him for it in the same way as everybody else involved."
She nodded and sucked in a breath, holding it tight within her chest before exhaling. "I'm sorry--"
"Yeah, lady -- me fuckin' too." He reached into his pocket for the picture and waved it between them. "When the fuck was this shit taken?!"
"A few weeks before you were gone," she told him, ignoring the sudden beeping sound coming from her phone. "Chino allowed me to hold you one last time before your mother held you for the first time in her own arms."
"Yeah, my goddamn mother. Ain't gonna be something you'll ever fuckin' be."
Nikko tossed the picture to the floor and stormed across the room.
I swallowed back his pain as if it were my own and attempted to run after him until Deborah called for me while holding onto her phone. "What the hell is it?!"
"Malcolm just sent a rollout of text messages -- one after the other." She quint at the screen, then widened her eyes. "His location says that he's with Chino, Cheyenne."
"What?! Where?!"
She dragged her thumb across the message and narrowed her eyes. "The garage inside Benny's office building." Nikko looked over his shoulder, glancing between us. "He said that Chino came here looking for Snake, then killed the prospect after overhearing him and Malcolm talk about Snake's place and New Orleans."
"Oh my God--"
"He chopped off his head with Snake's Machete and shot Malcolm in the stomach before throwing him into the trunk of Green's car, which he had stolen to get here." Tears spilled between her fingers, drenching the back of her hand. "He's bleeding out and the last message stopped mid-sentence."
Nikko sauntered around me and snatched the phone from Deborah's hand. "Where the fuck is Snake?!"
"I don't know," she said. "I don't..." She rattled her head and swallowed hard while searching her eyes across the club. "I haven't heard from him since he left for the wedding this morning."
"Nix and Loco don't know where he went after we cancelled," I told him. "Only that they tried to keep him from going home because Runaway was there to look for information about New Orleans... about you."
"Shit." He dropped Deborah's phone back into her hand and slid his hand around my back. "Call him up and let him know what the fuck is going on with his kid." He looked to me and nodded toward the door. "We're heading out for him before my old man gets back there first."
Chapter Sixty
Take Me to (Your) Church
After pulling into the garage and parking near Green's car, Nikko jumped out and raced to the trunk with Deborah following close behind. He bent forward and knocked on the lid, pulling back when he heard a slight moaning sound and reached into his back pocket for a set of matching keys to the car.
He opened the trunk and dropped back when Taz leaned over the edge and puked near his feet. Covered in his own blood and vomit with the trunk covered in much of the same, he attempted to crawl out with Deborah and Nikko helping him to the ground. He groaned as Nikko rolled him to his back but remained still as Nikko and Deborah removed his pants to shove them against the gaping wound in his stomach.
Deborah sobbed in silence and wiped his face with the edge of her shirt, then brushed her fingers across his head while pressing the pants as hard as she could against him to stop the bleeding.
"You know if Chino is still in Benny's office?" asked Nikko.
Taz made a face and slowly nodded. "He planned to dump me after getting his passport and some cash to get outta the city," he replied. "Said Benny kept both somewhere up there for emergencies."
"Get out of the city?" Deborah questioned through tears. "Do you know where the hell he had planned to go?"
He shook his head. "He found out that Snake bounced with the 300k he stole from the club after the wedding got cancelled." He grimaced and wrapped his hand around his stomach; blood poured between his fingers, continuing to soak his skin and clothes. I grabbed my phone and dialed Green for help. "The 300k that I intercepted from Rox..." He stopped to take a breath. "He sent that shit back to Ronaldo to get his help outta here."
"Jesus Christ," muttered Nikko.
"He also..." Taz turned his head aside and coughed up more blood.
Deborah leaned into him and rested her hand against his forehead, checking for a temperature as sweat poured from his face. "Somebody's coming for you, baby -- don't strain yourself trying to talk too much about this."
"I need to..." He coughed again. "I need to say this shit..." He looked over at me as tears rolled from the corners of his eyes, mixing into his blood. I finished with Green and dropped my phone back into my pocket, then bent down to next to him and took one of his hands inside my own. "Ronaldo..." he started. "He's the one that had Rox set on fire."
I flinched. "Why?!"
He glanced at Nikko before rolling his eyes back to mine. "Wanted to keep you and Nik from making shit official... He needed to keep Chino from running off with the money... the shit went down before Snake needed to check out, realizing you were getting too goddamn close in figuring this shit out, and gave him back what he was owed."
"Jesus Goddamn Christ." Nikko jumped to his feet and slammed the trunk shut.
Taz shook his head again. "Me changing you from Rox's emergency contact... Snake said he'd fuck with Nikko's head in telling him the truth; about us being..." He stopped and clinched his jaw. "He'd tell the truth about Deborah being our mother if I didn't; said he needed her there to keep occupied and away from what he had planned to do..." He paused and winced. "I'm fuckin' sorry for my shit in all this, Cheyenne," he muttered. "I kept that money for too goddamn long -- thinking I had time..."
"I don't care anymore -- It doesn't matter," I told him.
"It does." He attempted a smile as the corners of his eyes crinkled. "But you know I love you for saying that shit."
"I love you too," I told him. "Always."
His eyes returned to Nikko. "Not the same way as him... And I'm good with that shit." He frowned and coughed again. "I'm good with it 'cause you're fuckin' happy and that's all the shit that matters to me."
"You'll be happy too," I told him. He smiled again before turning his eyes back to Deborah and squeezing her hand. I looked to her and nodded. "Green is on his way in another car -- just five minutes from what he told me."
Deborah shook her head as more of her tears fell into Taz's blood. "I don't know what the hell to do with all this shit, Cheyenne," she said under her breath.
I gulped and reached for her free hand. Her eyes lifted to mine as a trace of hope shined behind each one. "Green is going to get him someplace safe and have the bullet removed; then he'll get him to the hospital -- everything will be discreet and off the books, he's promised as much."
"Cheyenne." I released her hand and stood up to face Nikko as he moved near the elevator. "Stay here with 'em while I head up to my old man," he said.
"No," I snapped. "I'm coming with you -- I'm not staying back while you go to see him alone -- not when he killed one of my club members with a machete and sure as hell not when he shot your own brother in the stomach! I can't trust that he won't try and pull something with you -- not a man who buys back his own child."
"Baby." He eyed me with enough concern to send us both reeling near the deep end. "I'm more worried about what the fuck he's liable to do in seeing you up there with me."
"I'm not letting you go up there without me," I said again. "We are in this together -- that's what you said and that's what this means."
As a pair of headlights flashed behind us, Nikko recognized Green and darted past me, hurrying back to Taz's side. When Green finally got out of the car, he and Deborah help
ed Nikko place Taz into the back seat. After Deborah hopped in beside him and slammed the door, Green looked to me and nodded, then turned back to Nikko, who muttered something in a low voice before Green slid back into the driver's seat and sped from the garage.
"What did you tell him?" I asked as Nikko turned back to me and reached for my head.
"To come back for the car once Taz was in better shape, and to not wait up for my old man tonight."
After rushing through the building, oddly emptied for a weekday, we headed straight to Benny's office and found a heavily drunk Chino sitting behind his desk with a pistol in one hand and bottle of whiskey in the other.
Nikko stepped ahead, purposely keeping me positioned behind him and tipped his head toward his father. "Old man," he muttered.
Chino leaned back in the chair and lifted the gun from the desk, pointing the muzzle between us. "MY BOY!" he hollered out. He nodded and took another swig of whiskey straight from the neck of the bottle, then gargled until he coughed and swallowed it back in a single gulp. "Guessing you two being here means the shit still ain't been made official? Which means... I still won't be getting paid." I slid my hand inside of Nikko's and entwined our fingers. Chino took notice, tilting his head and wrinkling his nose. "You gave what was only ever meant to be pussy in all this shit your mother's goddamn ring?"
"What the fuck does it matter to your ass, hold man?!" Nikko shot back. "You're fuckin' running outta here like a son of a bitch in fear of what? Me learning that you had to pay Deborah to have me back after she threatened to give my ass to someone else?"
He drank the remainder of his whiskey and tossed the bottle across the room. I shrieked as it whizzed past our faces and shattered through the glass near the door.
Chino belched and laughed aloud. "That bitch ran through what the fuck I gave her in damn near a weeks' time and was onto sucking Ronaldo's cock to keep her head above water." He slid his gun across the desk and grunted. "All pussy is the same kinda pussy -- no pussy is different from the other... Some shit your mother never understood when I finally stopped fuckin' her raw."
Nikko released my hand and stormed to the desk, reaching for the gun and grabbing onto the lapels of Chino's tuxedo; he slammed him against the newly repaired window behind the chair and shoved the head of the pistol into his mouth, cracking his teeth, forcing blood to spew out from between his gums.
"Nikko!" I cried out, rushing forward as the tears flowed between us. "Nikko, please--!"
"You are the goddamn reason she's dead, motherfucker!" He eyed Chino with a rage I hadn't seen since the Rikers courtyard. "THE SHIT YOU DID TO HER IS WHY THE FUCK SHE WANTED OUT!" His hand shook around the pistol as his finger wrestled against the trigger. "You shoulda fuckin' let her out!"
Chino swallowed the blood pouring down his throat as Nikko removed the gun from his mouth and tossed it back to the desk.
He returned to Cheyenne's side as his old man wiped his mouth and nodded. "Yeah, asshole, I fuckin' should've..." He paused while keeping eyes on the pistol. "I never loved your mother the way I fuckin' should've... never loved her like I fell in love with Deborah -- the way you love Cheyenne."
"My love for Cheyenne isn't toxic as fuck," he spat. "Whatever the fuck you had with my mother -- whatever the fuck you had with Deborah or anybody else -- that shit wasn't love -- it was goddamn control; and it won't ever compare to what I have with Cheyenne... She's my goddamn world and nothing you've done to any other woman beyond what I've seen for myself will ever show the fuckin' same."
He nodded. "Yeah... you're right on that shit too." He chuckled and slapped his hands against his chest. "I'm a toxic asshole that bought and paid for his own son -- that didn't shed a single fuckin' tear when he learned his wife killed herself 'cause he couldn't keep his cock in check... I'm a motherfucker that tried to take your money for myself and run with it on the hope that free pussy would last 'til I died, and now I'm in here tryna get what the fuck I can in left over funds and passports to get the fuck out for good. All the while, I ain't found shit but my ass being aired out alike a motherfucker." He dropped his hand on top of the desk and stroked his finger along the base of the pistol, rolling the tip between streaks of his blood. "You went to see Elias and he told you this shit, I'm guessing."
Nikko rattled his head. "Nah, but I'm guessing that your fear in him doing just that is why the fuck you had him taken out? 'Cause no goddamn doubt after this shit, it's what the fuck happened."
He shrugged. "There was no way you were gonna pass up a single goddamn opportunity to see his ass once Rox was lit up and sent outta there... motherfucker did what I expected in running his mouth as always." He paused and laughed to himself. "But I guess taking out Elias didn't fuckin' matter since...? You learned the truth anyway, and I won't be getting locked up for what the fuck I've done to deserve it."
Chino reached for the gun and shoved it back into his mouth, then stared into the eyes of his son and pulled the trigger. I turned as his hand dropped almost instantly, allowing the gun to fall to the floor, then wrapped my arms around Nikko as his father fell through the glass and flew like a bird without wings before plummeting to the cars beneath the building.
As sirens blared across the area, as people screamed at the horrid sight beneath us; as dogs barked in panic and moving cars honked for pedestrians to step aside, Nikko walked to the couch and sat down along the edge; he folded his hands and stared across the room in something of a daze and gulped as tears began to stream his face.
I dropped to the floor in front of him and brushed my hands across his cheeks. "Hey." His eyes lowered to mine as his jaw tightened. "What you said to Chino about us -- nothing was short of the truth," I told him. "And what he said about himself? He knew that more than anyone -- he knew it more than the both of us combined, Nikko." He nodded. "Your mother... she would be so proud of you for continuing to stick up for her -- for continuing to put her first in your life... I love you for that more than you'll ever know," I said. "Always and forever for me." He swallowed hard and reached for my face, then leaned forward and pressed his forehead against mine. "You're my family now, just as much as I'm yours."
He nodded again and grit his teeth. "Always and forever for me, baby... Goddamn always and forever for me."
Epilogue
In 1000 Years...
A love like ours was unconditional and reckless.
Unconventional and all-consuming.
Wildly inappropriate and completely irreplaceable.
As Nikko lifted my hand, resting it inside his palm and sliding a sliver band onto my ring finger, the look of desire and hope beaming in his eyes as he gazed into my own filled my heart with enough of both to keep us whole for as long as I was still breathing with him at my side. After sliding a matching band onto his finger, promising lifelong fidelity and faithfulness, committed partnership and a love too strong to be matched by the likes of another, he pulled me into the deepest kiss he could manage in front of every member of my club as soon as a newly ordained Brandi declared us legally wed.
We pulled back from each other as a freshly crowned President Nix, his current VP Loco and a host of other brothers including Eyes and Joker, stood up from their chairs, hooting and hollering and wagging their fists high in affirmation of this day.
A long time coming if there had ever been another before it.
I handed my flowers to Deborah as she sat in the front row next to a fully recovered and reinstated Rox, then turned to Taz as he stood at my side as my Best Person after having walked me down the aisle, and threw my arms around his neck.
Six months had passed since the day we almost lost him in the garage of Benny's office building; since the day we nearly lost him at the hands of Chino, forcing him to step down to a lower level position within the club to recover.
It had taken me just as long to realize that my home inside the walls of the Renegades clubhouse was where I needed to be once I finished school. Nikko agreed without much hesitation, taking solac
e in knowing that the loss of his father and continued disappearance of Snake had not only given him an official brotherhood, but earned him a job within the club itself as its newest bookkeeper to keep him busy.
It also allowed an opportunity for him to get to know Deborah on a level outside of her history with the club and Chino despite being remiss to accept her on the same level as the woman who raised him.
Within the same breath, I came to understand through current film work that most of my problems with her had stemmed from an anger I was bound to keep tucked inside of myself since the death of my own mother; an anger that provided no personal comfort outside of knowing it was the only thing to reassure my humanity; one worthy of releasing me from myself when the time came for it to happen.
On the day I declared myself to Nikko; the day I agreed to become his wife without conditions was the day I knew it had.
The day I realized without a single shadow of a doubt that nothing in this world worth having would come easy. That a love like ours was worth the pain and fear of an unsure future that remained unpromised to us both. Worth a sacrifice that included paying off the debt owed to the Gambiano's for help in getting Nikko out of Rikers and making sure he stayed out of there for good.
Life was a pill we had learned to swallow without water overtime; one that managed to turn us inside out within the blink of an eye.
It was one worth living to the end with a man I loved; a man who managed to love me past myself.
It was a life sustained through fearlessness; one that filled me to the brim with a happiness wild enough to allow me the belief that changing a single splatter of what I had done to get here would've altered the course of my life for the worse at hand.
Regret, they say?