Zoe nods her head, “I love you m-mommy.”
I pull her in and squeeze her tight, kissing her cheek and release her. This time, I make sure to watch as she gets in the house. Now is my chance, I peer over and see dick bag is in his garage so I charge over, sliding my hands in my jean pockets.
I search for what I think I have, but need to double check. Once upon a time, there was a man who always told me to carry these with me. Since then, I’ve never left without them.
“Hey, Pinkie.”
“Did you murder my fucking dog?” I snarl out, sliding my hands through the holes of the concealed weapon I have in my pocket.
“Dog ran out in the middle of the road, right in front of me. Not my fault your bratty little kid couldn’t keep her on the leash.”
I thought about keeping my composure and handling this like a respectful mother would. But, pieces of shit don’t deserve my respect. They only deserve an ass whoppin’. I approach him, masking my face and plaster a somber look on my face. This move has worked before, and I know it’ll sure, as fuck work right now too. Men always love to underestimate a short woman, but this dick will be regretting it soon.
I bring my knee up straight into his balls when I get close enough, pull both my hands from my jean pockets and rock my fists into his face. He lets out a yelp and I stare down at my brass knuckles, smiling.
I repeat the process, hitting him a few more times in the face and give him a good couple of kicks in the ribs. “If I ever see you drive on this street ever again, I will personally make your life a living hell. One night, you’re going to wake up to me hovering over you with your severed cock in my hand. That’s how good I am, asshole.” I hiss, staring in his eyes the entire time to make sure he got the message.
He nods once and I step away, spotting a baseball bat in the corner. I walk right up to it and grab it, swinging the motherfucker back, I knock out the headlights on his brand new Ford Mustang. I bring the bat back one more time and make sure to aim for his windshield. With the advancements glass has these days, it doesn’t do much except crack it, but I’m sure my message is understood.
“You made my daughter cry, asshole. There’s one thing you never do, and that’s fuck with my family.”
6
You kinda owe it to yourself to do all the things you dreamed
-Anonymous
Rebel
“How is Zoe holding up?” Harlow pulls me out of my own head as I stare at my phone. She’s honestly one of my only friends here, but that’s because all of these bitches are catty. They don’t like the fact that Nikolai wants to spend a decent bit of time with me, but they should take their problem up with him.
I take in a deep breath and sigh. “She’s doing okay. It’s only been three days and every night she cries herself to sleep. It breaks my fucking heart, girl. Her best friend died.”
“Yeah, but she’ll be okay. Zoe is strong, just like her momma.” Harlow wraps her arm around me and pulls me into a half hug.
“You’re just saying that cause you like me.”
“What’s your point exactly?”
“Ah, forget it.” I grumble out, rolling my eyes at her. I’ve known Harlow for a little bit now and this girl cracks me up. She doesn’t talk about her personal life very often, or if I’m being specific, she doesn’t talk about her past. That just means she has secrets, but so do I. My past isn’t anything fun to talk about anyway. It’s ridiculously full of drama if I’m honest. She can probably relate to that, especially because she looks like a cute little Disney princess. “Is your client list treating you better now?” I ask because I’m curious, Harlow has had some interesting clients in the past.
I don’t know how they got passed the screening process being as creepy as they are, but they did. “It’s not going so bad. I have a few ladies on my list now, which is nice, they treat me better than the men do. Gia told me that we have a new client moving to the area in a couple of weeks and she gave me her name. I looked her up online and not to be weird or anything, but she looks a lot like you. Minus the pink hair, of course.”
“Huh? What do you mean?” No soon as I finish asking my question Harlow has yanked out her phone and has pulled up an online account for a woman named Carmen. Immediately, I see the resemblance. Her skin is a little darker than mine, and she has ashy blonde hair. It looks just like mine before I dyed it.
Harlow scrolls through an array of photographs that Carmen must have posted. “She kinda looks like your twin.”
“Obviously, the evil one.” I mutter, looking at every single photograph. With each one I see, the more I see a resemblance. The more that I tell myself that this is just a coincidence. My family situation growing up was complicated. I vaguely remember my mother, and then was put in the foster care system by the time I was eight. I’d see my grandfather from time to time and now I remember how he told me about my twin sister. He even mentioned another sister, a younger one to be exact, but I never thought too much into it. He had dementia, so I thought he had lost his damn mind … but what if he didn’t?
Harlow scrolls through more and I take her phone straight from her hand, putting my fingers over Carmen’s hair. When I look at her face, it doesn’t look like I’m staring at another person. It looks like I’m staring in the mirror.
“Okay, so now that we’ve discovered my long lost sister, what is it you wanted to tell me about?”
“Oh, nothing really I guess. This … Carmen. She wants me to be somewhat exclusive to her. That’s what she’s asked Gia at least.”
I raise my eyebrows, hearing what Harlow has just said. When a client wants you all to themselves, it means that they need you for something important. Now I’m wondering what exactly this is.
“Did you look at her application?”
She rises from her seat and walks over to the small bar we have on this level of the high rise. “I mean, I’ve seen parts of it, but Gia is being very secretive about what it is that’s required of me. I’ve never been paired with anyone where I was missing pertinent information about them. It seems to me like Carmen doesn’t want to share, so I’ve been social media stalking her.”
“Private people love it when strangers go digging for information.” I sarcastically say to her, showing her I’m judging the shit out of her right now. Harlow knows the rules, one of the most important being, not to invade the client’s privacy.
“I don’t like having things hid from me. We’re supposed to trust that we’re safe when we’re with a client. How are we supposed to know if we’re safe unless we learn who they are?”
“You are playing with fire, girl.”
Harlow’s face turns red, showing me that she’s getting angry. “I could say the same about you and Nikolai.”
“Whoa. What does Nikolai have to do with anything?”
“Is that a joke? Nikolai wants to date you. The man spends his dates with me telling me how much he does, that he wants to have you as his girl, Rebel. The man is in total awe of you and you keep him strung along for something that will never happen. You’re still hung up on that one ex who ripped your heart out.”
“That’s enough,” I tell her, the tone of my voice heeding as her warning. I’ve told her certain things in confidence about my love for Widow. Now I’m regretting that choice, telling her the most vulnerable parts of my heart. It’s so hard to be trusting of people these days. Truthfully, I don’t know if I can ever trust another person.
“Oh, Gia didn’t tell you yet. Did she?”
“Tell me what, exactly?”
“Nikolai asked to go out on another date with you. He wants to see you later tonight. She was worried about you cancelling on him, but with the look you’re giving me right now, I don’t think we need to be worried about that. I’ll see you at seven,”
“What do you mean you’ll see me at seven?” I ask, following her with my eyes as she walks towards the door.
“I’m supposed to show up for dessert.”
Oh, fuck.
I told Nikolai that if he ever got one of the girls to play with us not to pick Harlow … because she’s different than the rest, she’s my friend. It looks like he misunderstood me. Harlow isn’t that type of friend.
7
Sometimes, there is no next time. Sometimes, there are no second chances. Sometimes, it’s now or never.
-KushAndWizdom
Widow
“I wasn’t a scared little girl who needed your help.” I’m standing out under the awning, smoking a cigarette in this miserable fucking heat, as Amara speaks to me. I don’t bother replying, because it’ll only cause an argument between the two of us. She thinks that she didn’t need my help, when the reality is that she’s always needed my help. Her needing someone to lean on, is what got us to this point anyway. Or has she forgotten that?
I turn back to face her, trying my hardest to not let my anger seep out of me. I kept my opinion to myself for years, out of respect. I know how she is and she doesn’t like it when people give her their opinion without it being asked for. At this point, I don’t care anymore. What do I have to lose? “You may act like you’ve never needed a man to come and rescue you, but you’ve always wanted it. I’m not your man anymore, Amara. I’m not gonna keep comin’ to save your ass.”
She huffs and rolls her eyes at me, crossing her arms. “You weren’t my boyfriend before you started doing that shit. That doesn’t matter anymore, though. We’re done. We’re … so fucking done.” She laughs out the last three words as her eyes drift to the ground. I know what she’s doing. She only does this when she’s hiding something.
“What are you keeping from me?” I ask, knowing that if I don’t ask her the question, she won’t tell me.
“Why do you always assume I’m keeping shit from you?” She snarls, eyes trained on me. I know her too well. Sometimes, I think I know Amara even better than she knows herself.
“Well, you hid the fact you were pregnant and went and got an abortion. If you hid that, you’re bound to be hiding other shit.” I can’t help but allow my anger to come through at full force. It might be wrong for me to speak to her in the manner that I am, but she enrages me beyond anything I’ve ever imagined.
“Jesus. Leave it alone. It’s done and over with. Why keep bringing it up?”
“Because what you did was wrong! Do you not see that? That kid wasn’t just yours, Amara. He or she was mine too and it deserved to live.”
Her face contorts into something similar to disgust. “I would never willingly bring a child into a broken family. A child deserves much better than that, Widow. We both know what’s going to happen soon anyway. You would’ve only stayed because of the baby, and then … you would have left. I will not apologize for the decision I had to make. I gave you an out. You should be thanking me for making this so easy for you.” Her voice chokes up near the end and I hear her becoming emotional.
It’s almost as if she knows something that I’ve only recently become aware of. But she can’t know … can she? “Did you know about Melody being here?”
Her eyes meet mine yet again and with the somber look, she’s giving me, I have my answer. “How much do you know?” The way she asks the question gives me the impression that I’m missing a big piece of the puzzle. Only, what else can I be missing?
I stalk towards her. I’m not really sure why I do, but it feels like I need to be closer. As if being closer to her presence will help me find out more answers. “What do you mean?”
“I told you that you already had a family, Widow. What I said is true. You already have a family.”
“Fuck, Amara! Stop speaking in riddles. Just tell me what you fucking know.”
She runs her hand back through her hair and looks away from me, out over the desert before she speaks. “Melody doesn’t use that name anymore. Her name now is Rebel Rose. I know that she works for a company called Crave, LLC and she’s a very famous social media model. She’s just partnered with Crave for a new program called OneEye. Essentially, it’s where she has viewers pay to follow her and see … in depth material. But, that’s not, all I know.”
“Stop getting quiet and continue,” I growl out.
“Melody – I mean Rebel didn’t come here alone. She came with a baby. A baby girl named Zoe to be exact.” Amara goes into the details of this little girls birthdate and I do the math in my head.
Jesus Fucking Christ.
What Amara said makes sense now. It makes complete sense. I already have a family, which means I already have a child. “You still never had the right to abort our baby.” I say to her in a low tone. I’m still so angry about what she’s done, but I know I’m in shock right now from what I’ve just discovered.
“I know you would have left us. Please don’t tell me any different. We both know that she’s always been the one you’ve wanted. I would’ve had that child and you would’ve left. He or she would have asked me questions about why you didn’t want to be around us, why you didn’t love him or her. That is what I saved it from, constantly feeling like it isn’t enough. Of all people, I understand that. There’s one thing I will never do, Widow, and that’s allow a child to feel an ounce of what I do.”
“You should have come to me when you found out.” I tell her, grinding my teeth together. I want to argue with her, tell her that I wouldn’t have been that man … but we both know better. If there’s anything I’m good at, it’s at being a shit person. I can’t imagine how difficult it would’ve been having two kids with two women who used to be best friends and probably despise one another.
She shakes her head, “You know I couldn’t have.” Amara takes in a deep breath before she chastely kisses me on the lips. “I love you in more ways than you can ever imagine, but we were never supposed to be here. Our love wasn’t ever written in the stars, but Melody and yours was. You may not see it this way, but I love you so much that I pushed you away, straight back into her arms.”
“Ama-” I try to speak, but she puts her hand up and I grow silent.
“Don’t do that shit where you tell me our love was special. It wasn’t, it was sex that turned into something more when your one and only left. I want more for you. I don’t want either of us to just have sex. I want us to both be happy with whoever we’re supposed to be happy with.” I’ve never heard her speak in such a way, so heartfelt and carefree. “I’m sorry I didn’t tell you she was here. I didn’t feel like it was my place, and you’d find out one way or another. Her face is all over billboards, and her fat ass.”
“It has gotten fatter,” I chuckle, looking into the eyes of the woman that both trapped me and set me free.
8
“You just have to walk in the room and be fearless. Never let people think for a minute that you couldn’t totally take them down.”
-Stevie Nicks
Rebel
“Mom!”
I flip around to face Zoe, “Yeah, kiddo?”
She pouts her lips, “Do you really have to go? Olivia and Amber are coming over soon! We all wanted to watch the new dragon cartoon movie with you.” The fact that Zoe and her friends still want to be around me blows my mind. I’m not used to it in the least bit. As a kid, I just wanted to be by myself – far away from the adults. Then again, I didn’t have the best foster parents growing up either.
“I should be back in a couple of hours, okay? In the meantime, Frankie is going to stay with you three until I get back home.” I run my finger tips through her dirty blonde curls. Her lip starts to shake and I see she’s starting to cry. “Oh honey, what’s wrong?” I pull my baby into my arms and hold onto her tightly.
“I don’t wanna be here all alone without you. Bubbles just died. I don’t wanna be without my Mommy.” I cock my head to the side and suck in my bottom lip, biting down hard on it.
“Okay, let me see if I can get out of my work obligation. Alright? I’m not making any promises, but I’ll try.” Zoe’s frown turns upside down – literally. “Don’t you go thinking that I don’t have to leave. I hav
e to see what I can do.”
She starts down the hallway and turns her head back to face me, “You’re my mommy and you always get what you want!”
Pfft, if the kid was only right.
Nikolai gave me his number a while back and I told him I’d never text him because it was against my rules. He made me take his card just in case. I guess the cocky bastard knew I’d end up texting him at some point.
To: Nikolai
Any way can we reschedule tonight? My daughter has had a bad week and wants me to stay home with her.
I stand in my kitchen staring at my phone for about five minutes before I think that I texted the wrong person, but then a text comes back through.
From: Nikolai
Of course we can. I’d hate for your daughter to be upset. Although, I paid to spend time with you. It never states what we have to be doing. What are you two doing tonight?
I read his message a couple times over before I think about a response to it. For some reason, I want to stay on guard, but at the same time … I want to let him in a teeny bit as well.
To: Nikolai
I have a couple of her friends coming over for a sleepover. We’re going to order pizza, make popcorn and watch a movie.
Not even a minute later and he’s already texted me back.
From: Nikolai
Sounds like a great date to me. I’d ask you where you live, but I already know. What time do you want pizza? I’ll pick up a few on my way, and maybe even a bottle of Stella Rosa if you’re nice about me coming over.
My mouth gapes open as I stare at my phone. This man has brass balls, that’s for sure. “Why are you looking at your phone like that?” I didn’t even hear Zoe come back into the kitchen. She has the door open to the pantry and she’s pulling some gummy worms out of a bag.
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