by Lily Zante
We haven’t eaten much, and our plates look mostly untouched.
“What’s wrong with your food?” Nina asks when we get the bill.
“Nothing,” I say brightly. “We just got talking too much.”
“I’m not hungry,” Eli replies.
Nina snorts in disbelief. “That’s a first. You must be coming down with something.”
I get the bill, and tell Eli that I’m going to charge it to my workplace, and then I give Nina a generous tip which puts a huge smile on her face. She thanks me. “You should come to Waquito’s,” she says, as if she’s suddenly had a bright idea.
“Where?”
“Didn’t you tell her about it, Elias?”
Obviously not. I look at Eli’s face because I have no idea what they’re talking about.
“Waquito’s,” Eli replies. “It’s a bar where I used to work as a security guard at the door. They’re throwing a small party for me.”
“You should come,” Nina insists excitedly.
“I don’t know anything about it,” I reply. But something else concerns me. Eli doesn’t exactly look like he wants me to come. If he had, he would have told me without needing Nina to prompt him to.
“It’s next week, Friday night,” he continues.
“Our friends grouped together and they’re throwing him a party,” explains Nina.
“I’ve never heard of it.” Because I haven’t, and I notice that neither of them have even told me where it is. Talk about being vague.
“You wouldn’t have,” Eli shoots back quickly. “It’s not your kind of place.”
I raise my eyebrow. “Maybe it’s time I had a look at your type of place.”
I tell myself that I’m going in the name of research and because it will give me more information about Eli. But the truth is, I’m also curious to know about the type of place Eli hangs out at.
Chapter Nineteen
ELI
* * *
I decide that Harper’s not so bad. That’s one thing I’ve learned about life as I’ve grown up; most people aren’t so bad once you get to know them.
Some are. Some are monsters, but on the whole, a lot more of them are nicer than not. I’ve also realized that most people aren’t who we first see. We have our own preconceptions of them at first glance, and these are often wrong.
It’s taken me a while to come to this conclusion, because I’m wary about meeting new people and trusting them. I keep them at a distance until I can properly suss them out.
There’s a reason for this. When we were young, Nina and I trusted people, and each time we’d get allocated to a foster family, it was like starting over. We didn’t know them, and they didn’t know us. But they must have been good people because they took us in, right? Most were. I can’t fault them, but a couple weren’t so great. I reckon they went in for the fostering side of things because it was a way for them to get more money.
But those first days when we’d be in yet another strange house, and these people would be staring at us with plastic smiles, they were hard. We were too young to know any better, and this was the only life we knew.
It’s why I look out for Nina, because I can now. I’m protective of the people who are important to me. That’s why I’ll always look out for her, and that’s why I lost my shit when Harper snooped around.
But the more I get to know Harper, the more I see a different side to her. Thinking about it, she probably didn’t change. It’s my perception of her that’s changed. I’m sure she had her own ideas about me, and I wasn’t the nicest person when we first met, but things seem different now. It’s like we were in the ring and I was trying to keep her from coming near me.
I don’t see her as someone to steer clear of anymore. I don’t see her as someone who is a threat.
Unlike my opponents in the ring. I see them as a threat because then I know I have to deal with them. I don’t humanize them. I can’t humanize them. To do so would be to put myself at a disadvantage. It wouldn’t be so easy then to land a punch at a man’s face and watch blood water-fountain from his nose after the crunch of my punch connecting to it. I couldn’t then land an uppercut in his ribs and send him crashing into the ropes.
“I’m moving the training camp forward by a few days,” Lou informs me.
“Why?” I’ve pushed it out of my mind until now.
“So that you have a longer time to recover before the fight. I want you to ease off the training when we get back,” he explains. “You can’t push your body too hard before the fight. Garrison will have you for breakfast if you do.”
“Garrison isn’t going to last twelve rounds.” I’m sure of that. I feel like I’m still improving and that by the day of the fight, I’ll be in peak condition. I’m also eager to get to that day. I’m sick of eating brown rice. I’m sick of tuna and potato. I crave butter, and ice cream, cakes, and donuts—all the bad food I’m not allowed to have and it haunts my dreams. I’m sick of the same training, the same gym. It’s funny that I don’t miss the sex much, in comparison, though lately I’ve had my weaker moments.
A change of scenery could be the thing I need.
“When do we leave?”
“On Sunday.”
Sunday is good. I won’t miss the party at Waquito’s, though it’s going to be a pretty dry party given that I can’t drink or have any fun. But I’m looking forward to the training camp. I’ve never been to Dwayne Banks’ place before and I’m eager to see what kind of place a middleweight champion can buy with his winnings. I never had a role model to look up to before, but I figure it’s not too late to start now.
Lou stares at me as if he wants to say something. “I notice you and Harper are getting along better now.”
“I’m being nice like you asked me to be.”
Lou scratches his chin.
“What?” I ask, when he still hesitates.
“She’s coming to the camp, but only for a few days.”
My nostrils begin to flare. I should be annoyed. A tiny part of me is, because she distracts me. I’ve been able to block her out most of the time but lately… not so good. I blame it on not having had any pussy for a while.
Lately, having Harper around makes me think about sex even more. “Does she need to be there?” I ask, because if I can stop this right now, I can kill the chances of any temptation.
“Her boss suggested that it might be a good idea for her to get an insight into your routine out there. Don’t worry, the stuff she’s writing on you isn’t going to press until right up before the fight. Garrison won’t discover any of your training or preparation secrets.”
It’s not Garrison I’m worried about.
“If it’s any help,” Lou continues, “she’ll only be there for a few days, plus she can keep Margrit company.”
Margrit is Lou’s wife, and I can’t really complain about Harper coming now.
We’ve been around one another for weeks and I don’t assume for one second that I’m the only one thinking about sex. It’s natural. Princess is a good-looking woman, and I’m not gay. Can’t help it if my mind wanders sometimes. It’s not just me. I see the way she looks at me, and I see the way she blushes. I’m not sure her coming with us is a good idea, but it will test my resolve. I’m already worked up enough, like a bomb waiting to explode.
I know Harper a little better now but I still don't want her to be around. She will be a distraction. But if her boss thinks it will be a good idea, and Lou promises me she'll only be there for three to four days, I can't do anything but accept it.
* * *
HARPER
* * *
“It’s Wisconsin. I don’t know if you’ll be up for it, but your boss seems to think it would be a good idea, so maybe you should come.” Lou hunches his shoulders in an it’s-up-to-you fashion.
He doesn’t sound too eager for me to come along, but if Merv suggested it, I can’t see how I can refuse to go.
But also, things seem calmer between me and
Eli now. If we hadn’t gone to the diner, if Eli hadn’t made an effort to make things right, I might not have been so eager to go.
He isn’t the easiest of people to be around but he’d be deep in his training and I’d get another angle into this piece I’m writing.
Chapter Twenty
HARPER
* * *
It’s the evening of the party at the bar where Eli used to work part-time up until a few years ago.
They’ve all decided—Eli, Jake and Santos—to go straight from the gym. It's okay for them, since they get to shower and freshen up, but I've been in my work clothes all day. Still, I suppose it's better not to go home and get changed because then I wouldn't be sure of what to wear. I’d feel pretty foolish if I showed up overdressed.
I've never been to this bar, and I don't know what it's going to be like. I remember Eli didn't like the bar at The Weston because he thought it was too upscale for him. I have no idea what to expect from this place.
We get two cabs there, and as soon as we pull up outside, there’s crowd of people on the street. Eli gets out and he’s immediately surrounded by people.
We head towards the bar, or rather, we try to. The crowd is thick. Eli, Santos and Jake lead the way while Nina and I follow behind. Everyone wants his autograph and a selfie with him.
It's like he's suddenly become a rock star. I can't see his face, so I can't gauge what he makes of this. Nina looks at me and raises her eyebrows as if she's also surprised by this response.
I’m taken aback. I don’t know why, but I had always assumed that he was a loner. He’s never talked about having friends. Boxing is his life. Aside from his team at the gym and his sister, I hadn’t considered that Eli might have another life.
We go sit at a table nearby, and leave Eli to work the room with Santos and Jake at his side.
Luckily, the music isn't too loud and it's not dark. It's possible for me and Nina to make small talk.
The atmosphere is lively and noisy, and happy. Everyone is happy. It's as if the name Eli hates, Chicago's New Hope, is the perfect manifestation of what Eli is to all his friends here.
We don't see much of him for most of the evening, but it's not a problem. It's nice for me to get out and I like Nina. In fact, I've come to like all of them, even Jake and Santos who I haven’t spoken to much, but we’re always in the gym together so I kind of know them better than I know the other regulars there.
Eli and I have been getting along a lot better lately. I don’t know if what I feel for him is something that only I have, or whether he feels it too. I can't tell and maybe that’s a good thing because it’s obviously a passing phase. Staring at a half-naked man with a body as beautiful as his is bound to have some effect on me. I’ll soon forget about him when I move back to the office.
For now I’m content to site and observe and sip my wine. Eli is continually surrounded by stunning women who all vie for his attention.
I didn't even think to touch up my makeup because I was mindful not to look as if I'd made a special effort to look good. I managed to retouch my lipstick but that's about it.
I begin to feel slightly out of place, as if I don’t belong, and the situation is compounded because I don't know anybody here. All I can do is watch, and silently hope that Eli might come over at some point and talk to me.
Nina has left my side and is talking to some friends on the next table. Jake and Santos are laughing at something on one of their cell phones. Eli hasn't returned to our table, and the chances of us having a conversation tonight look increasingly bleak.
My hope deflates. I’m embarrassed by the idea that I had been harboring thoughts of having him to myself for a while.
But he doesn't see me. How can he when he's surrounded by such gorgeous women? There are lots of pretty young things here; dark-haired Latinas with their long hair and beautifully made-up faces, their tight tops and dresses and curvaceous figures. They're throwing themselves at him, circling him like sharks around a helpless survivor, even though there is nothing helpless about Eli.
He's the hero even though he hasn't won the fight yet. Even if Eli lost, he'd still be the local hero. He'd still be a catch.
I look away because I can't bear to watch him talking and laughing with these girls as if he's known them all his life. More than that, I feel pathetic and lonely sitting here by myself. It's hard to look happy on your own. Thankfully, Nina soon slips into the chair next to me.
There's food laid out on a table at one end, but I'm not in the mood to eat, and I still have the drink which Santos bought.
Then, Eli comes over and sits down, and within minutes Santos and Jake return to the table.
“So many girls, so little time,” Jake says, with a mischievous smile.
“Plenty of time for plenty of girls after,” Santos adds.
Eli grins but doesn't give an answer. He glances at me before he lifts his glass. I feel as if he's about to speak, but someone taps him on the shoulder and grabs his attention.
Nina and the boys are laughing about something and I feel increasingly lonely even now when our table is full.
I've been meaning to let Eli know that I'm coming to the training camp next week, but I'm not sure if he knows or not because he hasn't said a word to me about it.
He must know, because Lou would have told him, so I find it surprising that he hasn't mentioned it to me at all. The only reason I can think of is that he's not happy about me being there. He's already told me in the past about his focus and how he blocks all distractions. I made the mistake of assuming that all the access I've had to him lately—with him being good with answering my questions—is because he felt sorry for me when I had my little outburst and told him that Merv was coming down hard on me.
I don't think Eli's kindness and accessibility extends to the training camp, and the reason he hasn't mentioned it to me is because he doesn't want me to be there.
I wish Merv would stop butting in and hadn't insisted that I go. Gerry seems to think it would be a good idea and he's eager for me to go.
So I am going.
Only I'm not sure I should.
The one thing that consoles me is that I only have a few days left at the gym after I get back. I’ll likely have a few things to finish up, and after that, everything about Eli’s life I’ll probably only read about in the papers.
That makes me feel reflective.
“What are you doing sitting here by yourself?” he asks suddenly. Disappointed that he hadn’t even spoken to me, I’d turned to my cell phone and luckily was engrossed in checking my messages.
“You were… busy,” I say, pushing away the snarky comment that bubbles up and sits on the tip of my tongue. I was going to joke about his harem of women, but with the fight looming, and his self-imposed celibacy soon to be over, I don’t want to hear him talking about his conquests.
“There are so many people that I haven’t seen in a while,” he replies. “I’m catching up. It’s been a while since I socialized.”
I can see that. The place is so full of people, and I’m certain there’s still a big crowd outside. I already feel invisible compared to some of these beauties surrounding him.
“Want a drink, Lover Boy?” Santos asks. Eli shakes his head. I notice he hasn't touched a drop of drink or eaten anything. His resolve is obviously strong.
“I see girls are throwing their numbers at you like confetti at a wedding,” Jake comments. “Any numbers you don't want, pass on to me.”
“Or me,” says Santos, then adds, “No getting up to anything tonight. Lou told us we had to keep an eye on you.”
“Lou should know me better than that,” Eli replies, rolling his eyes.
“You've only got to be good for a few more weeks,” Jake reminds him. “Get through the training camp and the fight, and then we're going to par-tay!” He rubs his hands together as if he's about to make fire.
Nina stares at me and gives me a boys-will-be-boys look. I smile back at her to ackn
owledge it, but I don't really feel like smiling.
“Are you going to the training camp?” Nina asks me.
“Yes,” I reply.
Jake and Santos say something in response, and seem glad, but I don't pay attention because I'm looking at my wineglass and waiting for Eli to make a comment.
But I don't get a response from him. And when I look up—because I need to see the expression on his face—I catch his eye and he quickly looks away.
It's like he suddenly feels uncomfortable and in that moment my worst fears are confirmed.
“Dude,” Santos says, tapping him on the shoulder, then leans in and whispers something in his ear. For a stupid, misguided moment I assume they're talking about me, until I hear Nina groan.
“Ugh, I knew she'd make a play for him,” she murmurs low enough but I hear it.
“Who?” I whisper.
“His ex. I can’t stand the leech.”
A beautiful creature glides over to our table. She is tall, her skin and hair golden-brown, her figure straight out of a lingerie magazine. “Elias,” she drawls, and he takes her hand, and gets up.
“Athena,” he says, and I'm not sure whether it’s me being paranoid, or if he’s deliberately being louder than is necessary. He takes her over to the corner and they stand face to face, talking deeply.
This is someone he's known on an intimate level. I know that from watching their body language.
I feel as if I've been slapped.
And now I want to leave.
Jake and Santos get up and walk over to the bar.
“She was his last girlfriend,” says Nina, her eyes still trained on Eli and the gazelle.
I struggle to breathe. “They look very much together,” I manage to say.
“Don't be fooled by that,” Nina replies. There’s a note of disapproval in her voice, and I like that. Or I could be imagining it. “They had a volatile relationship.”