Dennis took the microphone and slowly the voices in the room hushed. Marigold was surprised to see him on the little stage. She wondered what he was doing there. She wondered what they were all doing there. She tried to recall. Perhaps Dennis had told her and she had forgotten. She thought it was just a party, but she was obviously mistaken. She decided to smile to cover up her forgetfulness. Really, it wasn’t getting any better. The fog was definitely getting thicker. But it didn’t matter. She was having a lovely time.
‘Welcome, everyone,’ said Dennis. He settled his gaze on Marigold. She felt a little conspicuous and blushed. ‘Today is a very special day because we have all come together to celebrate someone in our community who is very special.’ Marigold thought it was a sweet idea and she wondered who it was they were celebrating. She saw Suze and Daisy moving through the crowd in her direction and looked around for spare chairs. There weren’t any.
‘This special person is someone who has looked after those around her all her life. She’s unselfish and kind and we just want to give something back.’ He was still looking at her. But now they were all looking at her. Marigold felt uneasy. Was it her birthday? Had she forgotten?
Daisy and Suze were beside her now and Daisy had taken her hand. She noticed Daisy’s eyes were moist and wondered why she was crying. Then she felt Suze’s hand on her shoulder. They were reassuring, the two of them, like guardian angels, taking their places beside her to protect her. She remembered them as little girls. It had been her duty to protect them then. She wondered when that had changed. She couldn’t recall.
‘Marigold,’ said Dennis, and Marigold nearly jumped out of her skin. ‘We’re all here tonight to celebrate you.’
Marigold panicked. A cold, prickly sensation spread across her skin and she was seized by the sudden urge to flee. She looked at Dennis in alarm. He held her gaze. He held it firmly and he barely blinked, and in it she sensed security, familiarity and strength. There, in the warmth of his eyes, she felt reassured and she didn’t turn away. She didn’t look at anyone else. She just looked at Dennis, her Dennis, and his words sunk in.
He was celebrating her.
She was the member of the community who was special.
‘Every Christmas I make you a jigsaw puzzle, Goldie,’ he was saying. ‘But this year everyone wanted to help me. First it was just one or two, but the trickle of people turned into a river and I was swept away by the kindness and thoughtfulness of our small village.’ Marigold’s vision blurred. She clung to Dennis’s gaze, but he was becoming increasingly fuzzy. She blinked to clear it and tried to focus. ‘Everyone came with their memories of you, Goldie. Daisy painted them and I cut the pieces, and Suze and Nan added our family’s memories to the many already collected. It’s a celebration of you. We hope you like it.’
Nan appeared then, carrying the box. She handed it to Suze and Daisy who placed it on the table in front of Marigold. Nan pulled a handkerchief out of her sleeve and handed it to her daughter. Marigold dabbed her eyes. Daisy passed her her glasses and she put them on with shaking hands. Then she looked at the picture on the lid of the box. There were so many lovely things to look at, she couldn’t take them all in. There were animals, birds, people, a large sun, cupcakes, a Christmas pudding – really, it was a gorgeous medley of delights. Then Daisy lifted the lid and showed her the underside. The back of the puzzle was drawn onto the cardboard and there was lots of writing. ‘On the reverse of each picture is the explanation, Mum,’ she told her. ‘Every memory represented by a picture is explained on the other side.’
Marigold’s eyes overflowed with tears. ‘It’s beautiful,’ she whispered. She lifted her gaze to look at the faces of those she realized she knew. ‘And you did all this?’ she asked softly. She saw one or two of them nod. She heard some of them say they did. But really, everything was just a blur and a rumble of voices.
‘Thank you,’ she managed, and these people, her friends, began to clap.
Dennis took her hand. ‘Fancy a dance, Goldie?’ he asked.
Marigold didn’t have the words, but Dennis didn’t mind. He could tell she did from her beaming smile. Batty played ‘The Lady In Red’ and Marigold allowed Dennis to hold her as they slowly swayed to the music in the area in the middle of the room that Suze had arranged for dancing. ‘You once asked me, what would happen when you forgot all your memories,’ he said.
‘Did I?’ she asked, frowning up at him.
‘Yes, you did.’
‘How did you reply?’
‘I said that you didn’t need to remember because I would remember for you. But I was wrong.’ He pressed his face to hers and felt her tremble. ‘All these people here tonight will remember them too.’
Chapter 28
That night Daisy couldn’t sleep. She lay on her back, staring at the ceiling, thinking about Taran and Luca, her mother and father, and in those dark and silent hours she felt helpless, as if she were drowning. Had she destroyed her relationship with Taran simply because Luca had marched back into her life and offered to give her everything she wanted? How easy it would be to slip back into the past. To continue on from where she had left off. But was that what she really wanted? It was familiar and comfortable, but was it enough? She remembered Toronto and there was something wonderfully vivid and alive about those memories. They were shiny and new and full of possibility. There was something tarnished about her memories of Luca. They lacked brilliance. Perhaps they had been tainted by the arguments and disagreements they’d had in the last months of their relationship. Or perhaps Suze was right, that she had left Luca because she had wanted to. Maybe their story had reached its end and the fact that they wanted different things had just given her an excuse to leave. Perhaps it had run its course.
By morning she knew whom she wanted to be with, simply because Taran was the only man occupying her mind and her heart, along with a burning sense of regret. She picked up her phone and called Luca. ‘Ciao, Margherita!’ His voice was up, as if he was expecting good news.
‘I don’t know how to say this, Luca—’ she began.
‘You’re going to break my heart all over again,’ he interrupted in a dull voice.
She sighed and put a hand on her chest. She hadn’t expected this to hurt so much. ‘I don’t want to break your heart, Luca. But I’m calling to tell you that it’s over. It’s over, now, for good.’
‘Then we have nothing more to say to each other. Six years have all gone in a puff of smoke.’
‘I’m sorry.’
‘Me too. I hope you don’t live to regret your decision. Unfortunately, I will regret it for the rest of my life.’
Daisy did not know how to respond to that.
‘Addio, beautiful Margherita.’
‘Addio, Luca.’
When she came down to breakfast she found her father and Nan at the kitchen table, discussing the party. Marigold wasn’t down yet. She took longer getting up these days.
‘You did well last night,’ said Nan over the rim of her teacup. ‘You all did. I’m proud of you.’ Daisy waited for her to add a typically caustic remark, but she didn’t.
‘Marigold had a lovely time,’ said Dennis, reaching up to stroke Mac, who was settled on his shoulder and purring into his ear.
Daisy made herself a cup of coffee, then went to join them at the table.
‘You look like you’ve wrestled with an entire army,’ said Nan, noticing the purple shadows beneath Daisy’s eyes. ‘What’s going on, Daisy?’
Daisy cupped her mug and looked at her father with apprehension. ‘Dad, can I ask you something?’
Her father frowned, taking in his daughter’s distraught face with confusion. ‘Of course you can, love. What is it?’
Daisy took a deep breath. ‘Taran asked me to move to Toronto. I told him I need to be here, with you and Mum. That I can’t leave you to look after Mum on your own. That you need my support. But . . .’ Her voice trailed off. Saying those words out loud gave her pain. She put her hands in
her lap and stared into her coffee cup. She couldn’t look at her father in case she saw hurt in his eyes. That would be too much to bear. She didn’t want him to think she was deserting him during his hour of need. ‘I want to be here to help you look after Mum, but I love Taran . . .’
Nan clicked her tongue and looked at Daisy sharply. ‘And you’d be a fool to let him go,’ she said.
‘I know, only . . . ’ Daisy wished her father would say something.
‘No only,’ Nan snapped. ‘You’re not getting any younger and I’d say Taran is the Last Chance Saloon. We’ll cope without you.’ She chuckled and glanced at Dennis. ‘We have the entire village helping out now, so really, one more would be a nuisance.’
Dennis put his hand on Daisy’s. It was big and warm and achingly tender. ‘Daisy, love. You’ve been a good daughter. You are a good daughter,’ he said. ‘But it’s time you gave Suze a chance to shine.’
‘If you do everything for people, they never learn to do anything for themselves,’ Nan said, and Daisy noticed that she, too, had got good at making her own breakfast these days.
‘I’m not sure he wants me now. You see, Luca—’
‘Yes, we know Luca proposed,’ Nan interrupted. ‘I don’t think there’s anyone in the village who doesn’t know that. But if you wanted to marry him, you’d have said yes straight away. When there’s hesitation, there’s doubt, that’s what your grandfather used to say.’
Daisy smiled through her tears. ‘What else did Grandad say?’
Nan returned her smile and it was gentle and affectionate. ‘Your grandad would have said everything happens for a reason. That there’s no such thing as coincidence. The people who come into your life, however briefly or permanently, do so for a reason. He believed we are all here to learn and grow in love. That this is the Big School of Life. I imagine he would tell you that you learned some very important lessons during those years with Luca, but now it’s time to close that chapter and start the next. You and Taran have a lot to learn from each other, that’s why you’ve met. It’s karma. It’s you attracting things into your life that are important for your spiritual growth and development. You see, I might have pretended not to listen, but I remember everything he said.’ She pulled a face. ‘Your grandfather loved talking about those deep and meaningful things. But do you want to know what I think?’
Daisy nodded.
‘I never liked Luca. I wouldn’t trust him as far as I could throw him. Taran’s got substance, and . . .’ She grinned. ‘I like his mother, and an apple doesn’t fall very far from the tree, does it? He’s a good sort. Take it from me. I’ve known a few sorts in my time to be a good judge of them.’
‘Taran’s furious with me for not telling him about Luca coming over.’ Daisy sighed and put a hand on her chest. ‘I don’t know what to do now. I’ve said I’m sorry.’
‘That’s all you can do, love,’ said Dennis.
‘No, it isn’t,’ said Nan. ‘If you want him you have to fight for him. You’re not a damsel in distress waiting for your knight in shining armour to rescue you. Dear God, women have come a long way in my lifetime and thank goodness for that. I wouldn’t leave it a moment longer. Go up there and tell him how you feel. And a few tears will make all the difference, believe me.’
Daisy laughed. ‘Nan, you’ve just undermined your argument.’
‘It’s a wily woman who knows how to use her powers. It’s not an even playing field and never will be. Men may be stronger, but women will always be more cunning. It’s just the way it is.’
‘So, if I went and lived in Toronto, you’d be okay without me,’ said Daisy, pushing out her chair and standing up.
‘Good God, Daisy, it’s the twenty-first century. Toronto is a hop across the Atlantic,’ said Nan. ‘Not a three-week voyage in a ship!’
‘Nan survived the Titanic, you know,’ joked Dennis.
‘I’m not that old,’ Nan protested. Then she looked at Daisy, who was hovering by the door, ready to leave. ‘You do make heavy weather of everything, Daisy,’ she said. ‘Take a deep breath now and go!’
Daisy put on her coat and hat and hurried out into the wintry morning. Frost lay thick upon the ground, melting slowly in the places where the sun shone, revealing patches of green. She trudged up the path that cut across the farmland, as she had done pretty much every morning for almost a year. The sky was a weak blue, the clouds that gently floated across it fine and feathery. Every day was beautiful, she thought to herself as she ran her eyes over the brown fields and distant woods. She soaked in the splendour of nature and, as her heart expanded, she began to feel more positive. She was filled with a buoyance and a brightness and quickened her pace. She’d tell Taran how she felt, she resolved, because she was sure now of how she felt. Surer than she had ever been.
As she walked along the side of the wood, she saw someone sitting on the bench up ahead. At first, she thought it might be David Pullman, the farm manager, but as she got closer she realized it was Taran. He too was wearing a big coat, hat and scarf and sat with his elbows on his knees, staring out over the hills.
He sensed her presence and turned away from the view.
He didn’t get up but leaned back against the bench, his expression impassive. It was impossible for Daisy to read him.
She stopped, uncertain suddenly of how to begin.
‘You haven’t been here all night, have you?’ she asked with a smile, hovering in front of him, trying not to be deterred by the invisible wall that had suddenly grown up between them.
But Taran didn’t smile back. ‘If I had, I’d be a block of ice by now,’ he replied solemnly. How formidable he is, she thought, suddenly wondering whether it had been wise of her to take Nan’s advice and come. There was no give on his part, just a hard, unfriendly expression that sapped her resolve.
She could hear Nan telling her that now would be a good time to release a few tears.
She lifted her chin and went to sit beside him. She felt more comfortable there, facing the immense view that stretched all the way to the farthest horizon. Roused by the magnificence of it, she felt her confidence return.
She looked at him and sensed, behind the hard, unfriendly expression, suffering. ‘I’m sorry I hurt you,’ she said quietly. ‘I panicked. And I only thought of myself. There’s no excuse. I should have called you and trusted you to understand.’
Taran leaned his elbows on his knees again and knitted his fingers. Their gazes met on that distant horizon. ‘I’m sorry too,’ he said wearily. ‘I overreacted. I was jealous.’
‘You have no reason to be jealous. I don’t want to lose you, Taran. I don’t want to be with Luca, either in Milan or here. I want to be with you, wherever you are.’
He sat back and looked at her intensely. ‘Why the sudden change of heart?’
‘I talked to Dad, just like you told me to. You were right. He’s not going to make me feel I’m letting him down by going to live abroad again. Or that I’m letting Mum down. I think I’m probably letting myself down by not following my heart. Nan said I make very heavy weather of everything. I think she’s right.’
His face softened and the tenderness returned to his eyes. ‘That’s only because you care,’ he said.
The change in his expression brought real tears to her eyes, not the ones Nan was talking about. ‘I do care,’ she emphasized, relieved that he was perhaps giving her a reprieve. ‘I carry the weight of my family’s struggle on my shoulders, because I care. But I have to learn that I don’t have to care alone. There’s Suze and Nan, who, as it turns out, can look after herself after all.’ She gave a small, hesitant smile. ‘And Toronto is only a hop across the ocean.’
He smiled back, a smile that broke the stranger and brought the friend back to her, with all his warmth and wit and love. ‘So you’ll come?’ he asked, reaching out and touching her cheek with the back of his hand.
‘I’ll come,’ she replied.
He pulled her into his arms and pressed his face into
her neck. ‘You frightened me, Daisy.’ He squeezed her tightly. ‘Please don’t frighten me like that again.’
Daisy hurried home, anxious to share her news. She needed to tell her mother first. It was important not to overwhelm her and to break it to her gently that she was going to live abroad again. She didn’t look forward to telling her that bit.
Dennis and Nan were still at the kitchen table. Marigold was yet to join them.
‘Someone’s happy!’ commented Nan when she saw Daisy’s flushed face. ‘Was it the crocodile tears that did it?’
Dennis raised his eyebrows. ‘All’s well, I see,’ he said.
‘I’m going to live with Taran in Toronto!’ she exclaimed.
Nan looked surprised. ‘In my day people got married before they moved in together.’
‘This isn’t your day,’ said Dennis, getting up to embrace his daughter. ‘This is your day, love,’ he said to Daisy, and planted a kiss on her forehead. ‘It’s wonderful news.’
Nan shook her head at the disappointing lowering of standards these days, but put out her hand to beckon Daisy to her. ‘I’m happy for you both,’ she said, shrugging off her disapproval and cheering up at the thought of the possibility of Lady Sherwood eventually joining her family. A Sherwood tying the knot with a Fane, she mused with something close to excitement. That wouldn’t have happened in her day. ‘When you finally do get married, you’ll do it in white, won’t you, pet? I’m sure Taran is a young man who likes to do things correctly. He’ll come and ask for your hand, won’t he, in a suit and tie?’
‘I’m moving in with him, Nan. One step at a time,’ said Daisy, but she couldn’t see Taran in a suit and tie.
When Marigold came downstairs at last, Dennis got up to make her a cup of tea. He kissed her cheek. ‘Morning, Goldie,’ he said. ‘Daisy’s got some good news.’
Here and Now Page 33