All I've Waited For

by Lindsay Harrel

  “Yes, I was torn up about your mother, but never so much that I forgot about you.” A pause. “And you helped more than you know. You and your sisters saved me from my grief. You were my gift in the darkness.”

  The back of his eyes burned, and Derek scrubbed the pan in front of him harder. “I’m glad to have that all cleared up, but what about the here and now? What do we do about the vineyard?”

  Dad sighed. “I’ve been going over it every which way, and I’ve approached some other vineyards for partnerships, but so far nothing has worked out.”

  Wait, what? “Why didn’t you say anything to me about that?” He let his hands rest in the soapy water as he directed his gaze once more at Dad.

  “I didn’t want to burden my children with my mistakes. I got us into this mess with all of those medical bills. I thought I needed to dig us out of the hole I’d made. Sounds like we both suffer from the same stubborn affliction, huh?”

  Derek smirked. “Guess so.”

  “Maybe we need to work together to make this thing a success.”

  He finished up the last of the dishes, then pulled the plug on the drain. “I like the sound of that.” Drying his hands on a towel, he slipped around the island and took the seat next to Dad. “I know the ideas I’ve come up with aren’t much, but they’re something.”

  “I’m intrigued by the events idea. What would it take to get licensed?”

  “I’m not positive. There’s some obscure law from the eighties about not allowing events to take place at wineries because they wanted to preserve the land for agricultural use. But I’m guessing we can petition the city council to revoke or revisit that law.”

  Dad reached for the cookie jar next to him and pulled out an Oreo. “And if it’s really as easy as all that, maybe you can work with Ashley to book some weddings here in the near future.”

  Aw, man.

  When he’d told Dad about breaking things off with Claire, he’d failed to mention Ashley. Mostly because by then, that had been a failure too. And now, three days after things had ended so terribly, he’d finally gone almost a full hour without thinking of her.

  But how easy it was for the mere mention of her to crash against his chest, making it difficult to breathe.

  “Yeah, sure.” Derek crammed his hand into the jar and grabbed three cookies for himself.

  “Something you need to talk about?” His dad scrutinized Derek’s dessert.

  Ignoring him, Derek twisted open a cookie, then dropped it as a memory assailed him.

  Ashley dunked her Oreo into her cup and took a bite. “Mmm. Milk makes Oreos taste so much better.”

  Derek rolled his eyes. “That’s no way to eat an Oreo. You’ve got to lick off all the cream first and eat the chocolate pieces separately.”

  Laughing, she reached for another. “I’ll try it your way, then.”

  “Just like that?”

  “Why not?” She split the cookie and handed him half. “What’s life without a little adventure?”

  “Eating cookies is not an adventure.”

  “But sharing them with friends is.”

  He shoved the two pieces of Oreo aside, then turned toward his dad. “How did you get over Mom?”

  If his dad was surprised by the question, he didn’t show it. Just chewed his cookie thoughtfully and wiped his fingers with a napkin, then swigged from a water bottle. “I’m not sure you ever get over someone you love. They become part of you. So does the pain.”

  Scrubbing a hand across his face, Derek groaned. “That’s what I’m afraid of.”

  “But.” His dad scooted another cookie across the counter toward Derek. “That pain eventually lessens with time. And the lessons you learned get sharper.”

  “See, the lesson I figured you’d have learned is to not trust women again. And yet you and Nancy seem happy enough.”

  “We’re very happy. I’d have been a fool if I let one woman’s unfaithfulness and instability make up my mind about the whole gender. Some people can let you down, but you don’t throw the baby out with the bathwater. Because people are also what makes life beautiful.” He placed his hand on Derek’s shoulder. “Think about this. Why is the vineyard worth saving?”

  “It’s our legacy.”

  “You going to care about a legacy after you’re gone?”

  Derek shrugged.

  “So try again. Why is the vineyard worth saving?”

  “Because it means the world to you. To Heather. To Christina. It represents …” Oh man, he sounded like a total sap. “Family. History. Love.”

  Whew. There went that burning at the back of his eyes again.

  “Exactly. Your heart’s in the right place, Derek. Everything you’ve done, you’ve done for love. You just didn’t want to call it that because you were afraid of what it meant. But there’s no shame in love. Love is the only thing worth living for.” A pause. “What happened with Ashley, son?”

  Derek fiddled with the cookie Dad had shoved his way, his father’s words stinging something deep inside. “She doesn’t love me. I was a fool to think she might.”

  Then Dad laughed.

  Seriously?

  Derek narrowed his eyes. “What’s so funny?”

  “If you believe that she doesn’t love you, you really are a fool.” A squeeze to his shoulder. “That girl has had eyes for you since she was a teenager.”

  Shaking his head, Derek recounted their last conversation. “She had the gall to ask me what I felt for her. As if it weren’t completely obvious.” The way he’d looked at her, the emotion in that kiss, not to mention ending his wedding … all of it pointed to one clear conclusion.

  “You have a lot to learn about women.”

  That was sure the truth.

  Dad tapped a cookie against the counter. “Even if you think your actions were obvious, as you say, women sometimes need those words of reassurance anyway. Have you ever actually told her you love her?”

  And he was an idiot. “No.”

  “That’s probably a good place to start.”

  Hope had the nerve to break through the wall he’d built around his heart. “Do you think that will work?” Whirling toward the table, he snatched his keys. “I’ll go right now.”

  “Sit down, son. It’s late. Besides, you need to really think about what you’re going to say and how you’re going to say it.” Biting into a cookie, Dad chewed and swallowed. “Sounds to me like you need to go big or go home. Make a splash.”

  A splash. Right.

  Derek strode toward the fridge, pulled out a gallon of milk, poured himself a drink, and came back to the counter with it. For a moment, he stared at the cup.

  Then, he grabbed an Oreo and tossed it all the way into his milk. A bit of the liquid sloshed over the side before Derek fished out the cookie and took a bite.

  “Milk makes Oreos taste so much better.”

  Yeah. Actually, it really did.

  Chapter 18

  Days like today were normally Ashley’s favorite.

  But even being surrounded by family and the town she loved, something was missing.

  Not something. Someone.

  The smell of grilling hamburgers and hot dogs filled the air of the community park tucked away in a residential area on the wooded side of town. Across the grassy expanse, townspeople huddled together, eating and drinking on blankets and in folding chairs they’d brought for the annual Memorial Day weekend picnic put on by the Sons of the American Legion and the Legion Auxiliary.

  Some kids tossed a ball around on the baseball field in the distance, and members of Walker Beach High’s band—directed by Ashley’s uncle Mark West—played a rousing rendition of “God Bless America” from the small stage assembled near the ramadas.

  Yet despite all the people, the Campbell family was nowhere to be seen. Maybe that was not surprising, since today should have been Derek’s wedding. Could be they were avoiding the gossips.

  Ashley shook free of the melancholy that inevitably came
when she thought about him. No. Not today. Not when the sun was shining and her friends and family were all gathered, not when summer and all the good things were just on the horizon, not when she was free to follow her dreams because of this great nation and all the men and women who had died defending it. That’s what today was really about.

  Her time spent cleaning up the veterans’ cemetery with her family this morning had been a sober reminder of all the good in her life thanks to the sacrifice of those they honored this Memorial Day. And Ashley was going to enjoy every moment, even when she felt like doing otherwise.

  She thanked the volunteer who placed a burger on her plate, then made her way down the food line toward the assortment of potato salads, pasta salads, fruit salads, green salads, and baked beans. After taking a small sampling of each, Ashley took a bag of chips and a chocolate chip cookie before making her way toward one of the many Baker family blankets spread near the front of the crowd.

  “Ashley Baker! Just the woman I was hoping to see.”

  Turning toward the jovial voice, she found Bud Travis waving her down as he huffed toward her.

  “How are you, Bud?” Ashley offered her warmest smile as she shifted the plate in her hands.

  Bud’s nearly bald head glistened under the noon-time sun. “I’m good. Real good, actually. Decided to run for mayor this fall.”

  “Wow, that’s great.” The town could certainly use a mayor who actually cared about its people—not just his power. And thus far, Mayor Walsh was running uncontested. “What made you decide to do that?”

  “Velma.” The whiskers from Bud’s long white beard and mustache couldn’t disguise the man’s grin. “She made little comments here and there in that quiet way of hers about things we could do to improve the town. It finally got through my thick skull that maybe I should do something other than stew about them.”

  “I’m happy for you.” She leaned in. “And you’ve already got my vote.”

  “Wonderful! But I’m hoping you can do more for me than that.”

  “Oh?” As it usually did, word had spread quickly about her taking over Kyle’s business. “I’m happy to throw you a victory party when the time comes.” She winked.

  The skin around his tan face wrinkled even more with his laugh. “That would be good too, but I was more thinking along the lines of you being my campaign manager. Don’t know anyone more organized and better with people than you.”

  “Me?” Sure, she’d grown up in this town and knew everyone, but politics were way down there on her list of interests, right next to dieting and reading. “Um, I’m honored.”

  Bud studied her, lips moving to the side. “Now, don’t feel like you need to answer right away. I can give you some time to examine your schedule.”

  “No, that’s not necessary.” She should do it, for the good of the town, right?

  Her eyes swept the park, filled with all—almost all—of the people she loved best. There were Evan and Madison, and Shannon and Bella and Ben, and Ms. Josephine and Aunt Jules and Mom and Dad. Even Carlotta Jenkins, who sat like a queen in a chair surrounded by her hive of honeybees, brought something to the town.

  “You can’t be all things to all people.” Kyle’s voice was in her head.

  Bud’s eyes twinkled. “I hope that smile means you’re considering saying yes.”

  “Actually, I’m going to have to say no. I would love to help you out, but my plate is pretty full right now.” She looked down. “And I don’t just mean the one in my hand.”

  He chuckled.

  Here went nothing. “I also have to admit that I don’t think I’d have the level of passion for the project that I should.” She cringed as the words rushed out. What would he say to her honesty?

  Nodding, he stroked his beard. “I’m disappointed, but I understand.”

  Incredible. Bud genuinely wasn’t mad at her. Kyle had been right—those who loved her would keep loving her, no matter what she did or didn’t do for them.

  “Know anyone who might be available and good at the job?”

  Her mind immediately latched on to the perfect answer. “Kyle Mahaney. He’s the kind of guy who won’t be able to sit still in retirement for long.”

  “I know the feeling.” Bud scratched behind his ear. “I’ll give him a call next week and see what he thinks. Thank you for the suggestion. I’d better let you go eat now.”

  “Of course.” She waved goodbye and turned to look for an opening on her family’s blanket, which was sheltered by the trees ringing the large grassy area that took up most of the park.

  Aunt Jules waved Ashley over, patting the spot next to her. “Well, if it isn’t the newest Baker family business owner.”

  Sitting between Jules and Bella, Ashley settled her plate on the soft blue blanket. “Thanks for making room for me.”

  “There’s always a place with us.” Jules nudged Ashley’s shoulder. “We’re all very proud of you.”

  Ashley peeked at Bella, who watched her. Blood rushed to her cheeks. She hadn’t seen her friend since dropping off her and Ben’s new—and correctly printed—invites a few days ago. They’d both been in a rush to get out the door, so Ashley hadn’t been able to tell if the couple was still upset about her screwup.

  She shrugged. “Kyle ended up giving me the business, which was very kind of him.” Picking up her fork, she poked at some of the food on her plate. “It was a gift, but I’m determined to do my best with it.”

  “Any bride will be lucky to have you in her corner.” Bella bit her lip.

  Ashley’s chest constricted.

  Ben took a swig of Coke from his can. “We really appreciate all you’ve done for us, sis.”

  “Agreed.” Bella paused. “And I shouldn’t have freaked out like I did. Will you forgive me?”

  Did she even have to ask? “If you’ll forgive me for messing up your invitations.”

  “Nothing to forgive. It was an honest mistake.”

  They hugged, and Ashley finally tucked into her food. That first bite of her charcoal-grilled burger was heavenly. Ms. Josephine’s husband, Arnie, had outdone himself this time.

  Behind her, the band ended their compilation of all the armed forces’ theme songs with a squeak, and the crowd clapped.

  Ashley lifted her burger for another bite.

  “Excuse me.”

  Her eyes widened at the voice coming over the microphone, and the burger in her hands tumbled to her plate.

  Derek?

  Ashley twisted to see him up on the stage, the microphone tucked under his arm as he led the crowd in clapping. What was he doing? He hated being in the spotlight. Had nearly failed his public speaking final in college—or so he’d told her.

  What would possess him to be up there now?

  “Hi, everyone. Thanks for coming out today. Not that I had anything to do with the whole thing, but … uh, yeah.”

  All around her, townspeople murmured.

  He ran a hand through his hair and pulled the mic back to his mouth. “I confess that I may have slipped Mark West a twenty to commandeer the stage for a moment.”

  “I’m donating it to the Legion, don’t you worry, Arnie!” Uncle Mark called from his spot to the right of the stage.

  Arnie Radcliffe banged his tongs against the grill. “You’d better be!”

  A laugh rippled through the crowd.

  But Ashley couldn’t laugh, couldn’t do anything but swallow hard at the sight of the man who had broken her heart again. She barely felt the hand Bella placed on her knee.

  Derek waited for the laughter to die down. “I know you’re all wondering what I’m doing up here, but much as I like you guys, this really has nothing to do with any of you.” A pause. “Well, that’s not true. It has to do with exactly one of you.”

  He stepped to the very edge of the stage. Then his eyes found Ashley’s, and she froze.

  Despite the size of the park and the number of people in it, the only sound Ashley heard was the whoosh of pounding b
lood in her ears and the drumming of her heart.

  “Most of you know that I was supposed to be getting married today. I’m sure there are a lot of rumors floating around about why my fiancée and I ended things.”

  Another rustling of whispers.

  “But let me tell you the absolute truth of the matter so there’s no doubt in anyone’s mind. I never loved Claire and she never loved me. We had our reasons for getting married, and when those things didn’t work out, we ended it amicably.” Even from the distance between them, Ashley could see the sweat shining off his forehead. “I’m telling you this not because I care what any of you think of me but because I don’t want you saying one bad thing about the woman that I do love.”

  Oh, goodness.

  Then he left that stage with the cordless mic in hand and walked toward the Bakers’ blanket.

  Bella’s hand felt like a vise grip on Ashley’s knee.

  When he’d finally made his way to Ashley, Derek squatted in front of her. “You asked me what I felt for you, and I was afraid to tell you the truth. Afraid of your rejection. Afraid that if I put my heart out there, you’d leave me like … others have done.”

  Sweet man.

  She couldn’t help it. Ashley lifted her hand to stroke his cheek.

  His voice lowered to a whisper that boomed over the mic. “But here’s the truth. Ashley Baker, I love you. Only you.”

  “I love you too.”

  Then the mic plopped onto the grass and Derek was kissing her in front of the whole town.

  The whole town—who, she realized, was cheering.

  Ashley laughed and buried her face in Derek’s shoulder. “I can’t believe you just did that.”

  “Was that enough of a splash?”

  “A splash?” She pulled back to look at him.

  “Never mind.” He swooped in to kiss her again. “Want to get out of here? Or did you promise your family you’d stay?”

  The question in his eyes was so vulnerable, as if he truly wondered if she’d choose her family over him again. Well, she’d just clear that one right up once and for all.

  “I was going to stay, but I’m sure they’ll understand.” Ashley kissed his cheek. “And if they don’t, that’s on them. Because right now, there’s nowhere else I’d rather be than with you.”