by Amanda Quick
“You were only seventeen years of age. What sort of tasks did you perform for him?”
“As I told you, my mentor was very fond of secrets of all kinds and I had a talent for collecting them. I got them not just from Maud but from others who were in a position to learn them.” Adam rose slowly. “Tavern keepers, chambermaids, footmen, hairdressers, washerwomen, men who work on the docks. The list of people who are in a position to provide useful information about others is endless.”
“I see.” She sank down onto the edge of the cot.
“My client’s attitude toward me became almost paternal. He not only gave me a fine position, he offered to let me live in his great house. I told him that I could not leave my brother and sisters.” Adam shook his head reminiscently. “So Wilson took us all in to live with him.”
“It sounds as if you and your siblings filled up a portion of the empty space in his heart that had no doubt been created by the loss of his own family.”
“He said something very much like that to me once a few years ago. It was his idea to claim us all as long-lost relatives. It was a bold scheme. I told him it would never work. But he had the power to put it into effect. He hired tutors, dancing instructors and a long list of experts to give us all a proper education and put a polish on us. In the end he made us the heirs to his fortune.”
“What a fascinating series of startling incidents,” she exclaimed.
“Perhaps it sounds that way in the telling, but I assure you, it did not feel that way while we were living through those incidents.”
“No, of course not,” she said gently. “So much sadness and loss. So much uncertainty and danger. Believe me, sir, I comprehend very well that your life does not feel like a work of fiction to you. I am honored by your confidence. I will not betray it.”
He watched her very steadily. “If I had not believed that I could trust you, I would never have told you about my past.”
“I think I can guess what is in that diary that you are trying to recover. It is the truth about your past and the pasts of your brother and sisters, correct?”
“Yes. Maud knew the facts. She evidently wrote them down in her journal. Elizabeth Delmont read that journal and tried to use the information to blackmail me.”
“No wonder you wish to recover that diary.”
“Wilson assures me that our family is sufficiently powerful to be able to deal with any scandal that may erupt. He is right. But I fear it will not be as simple as he believes. Julia is the Countess of Southwood. She has her husband to protect her. But Jessica is on the verge of making her debut into the Polite World. Who knows what kind of gossip she would face if it got out that she had been found in a heap of trash?”
“Scandal is always hard to handle. It would be especially difficult for a young woman who is facing all of the pressures that must come with moving into elevated social circles.”
“As for Nathan, he is drawn to the world of academic writing and study. In order to pursue his interests he will find it necessary to join certain exclusive scholarly societies. I suspect he will not be readily accepted into them if it is discovered that he was once put out to beg on the streets.”
“Naturally you wish to protect your brother and sisters. I am lost in admiration of your noble nature and determination to protect your family.”
His mouth curved ruefully. “It is certainly true that I am determined to shield my family as much as possible, but there is nothing noble about my intention. It is my responsibility to protect them.”
She nodded. “Of course you would see it that way.”
“You are the one who commands my admiration, Caroline.”
She was taken aback by the seriousness of his tone. “Forgive me, but I was under the impression that you did not think highly of the manner in which I make my living.”
He ignored that. “You have survived a great deal of loss and many difficulties yet you have triumphed resoundingly.”
“I could not have done it alone,” she said quietly. “If I had not had Aunt Emma and Aunt Milly, my life would have taken an entirely different turn, I assure you.”
“Just as mine would have done had it not been for Wilson Grendon. But that does not lessen your own accomplishments. You have overcome a great scandal, and you have people who love you and to whom you are loyal. You have used your creativity and intelligence to craft an interesting career for yourself. All of those things add up to a great triumph, Caroline.”
She did not know what to say. She could feel herself turning warm. No man had ever complimented her in such a touching, sincere manner. She knew that he meant every word.
And yet, she thought wistfully, those were not quite the sentiments that she wanted to hear from him.
“Very kind of you to say so,” she managed in her most formal tones.
“You asked me why I brought you here tonight.” He walked toward her. “I told myself that it was because I had more or less coerced you into revealing some of your own secrets and that it was only right to reciprocate. But that is not the whole of it.”
The atmosphere in the room changed in some indefinable way, becoming more intimate and close. A deep sense of knowing swept through her, bringing her to her feet. Something important was happening between them, she realized.
When he reached her, he raised both hands and cradled her face between them.
“The truth is that I wanted you to know that I am not the man you believed me to be that first day when I descended on you in your study and tried to intimidate you into giving me information.”
“I see.” She could not think of anything else to say. She was so aware of the heat and power in his hands that she could scarcely draw breath, let alone form coherent sentences.
“I realize that I may strike you as merely another selfish, arrogant member of the privileged class. And I will admit that these days I move in those circles. But I was not born into them, Caroline. I wear the right clothes, belong to the right clubs and do business with the right people, but deep down, I will always be an outsider. I know that, even if those with whom I associate do not.”
She lifted her hands and clasped his wrists. “I understand.”
“I brought you here because I wanted you to comprehend that I do know what it is like to struggle and fight very hard to survive. Indeed, I have done things to achieve those goals that would shock you to the core of your soul.”
“I cannot believe that.”
“Believe it,” he said harshly. “I will not burden you with those secrets. But what I want you to understand tonight is that I have not forgotten the lessons I learned while I lived in this room. I will never forget them. They are part of who and what I have become.”
She sighed. “You may be arrogant. You are certainly strong-willed, even stubborn on occasion. But I am well aware that you are not one of those men who would take advantage of a woman, use her for your own selfish purposes and then call down shame and scandal upon her head when you have finished with her.”
He tightened his hands very gently, tipping her head back a little. “Can I gather from that statement that you no longer believe that I am a threat to you and your aunts?”
“You would not destroy the three of us on a whim or a mere suspicion. I know now that you are a man who will settle only for the truth.”
She felt some of the fierce tension in him ease. He stroked one thumb along the under edge of her lower lip.
“Thank you for that much,” he whispered roughly. “Out of curiosity, what was it that made you conclude that I could be trusted?”
She wrinkled her nose. “If you must know, my intuition told me as much right from the start of this business, even though you gave me a false name. Logic and common sense held me back, of course.”
“Of course,” he agreed.
“There were others to be considered besides myself,” she reminded him.
“Emma and Milly.”
“Precisely. This evening, however, I feared t
hat in your anger toward Mrs. Toller you might take the risk of trying to expose her prematurely. I did not want to be responsible for jeopardizing your investigation.”
“So you told me one of your secrets.”
“Yes.”
“And now I have told you a few of mine.” His gaze softened and heated like green glass in a furnace. “But there is another secret that I would confide in you tonight.”
Anticipation sparkled and shivered through her. “What is that?”
He stroked the bones of her cheeks with his thumbs. “Although the fact that you are not a widow makes this situation extremely inconvenient, I am very glad to know that you are not mourning a lost love that you hope is waiting for you with open arms on the Other Side.”
“Why does that matter so much to you?”
“Because I want to kiss you again more than I have wanted to do anything in my life and I did not relish competing with a ghost.”
“Oh, yes. Yes, please.”
He took her mouth with a fierce hunger that swamped her senses. She would have crumpled beneath the delicious onslaught had he not held her tightly against his chest.
The kiss burned through her, hot and intoxicating. But she was beyond all caution.
“Adam,” she whispered, when he briefly freed her mouth.
“So passionate and so lovely.” He kissed one of her brows and moved his hands intimately down her spine.
She put her arms around his neck and brushed her mouth tentatively against his, testing his reaction.
The delicate caress seemed to electrify him. He groaned and kissed her back, his mouth hard and urgent now.
A moment later she felt his fingers on the fastenings at the front of her gown. The stiffened bodice, which did double duty as a light corset, opened slowly like a suit of armor being severed down the centerline.
“I do not know how women tolerate these modern fashions,” he said hoarsely. “Wearing a dress like this must be akin to walking around in a small, tight cage.”
“But it feels so good when the cage is removed,” she said earnestly. As soon as the words were out of her mouth, she was mortified. “Oh, dear, that did not come out quite as I had intended.”
He gave a sensual, husky laugh and kissed her lightly. “Explanations are unnecessary. I think I understand.”
“Perhaps it would be easier if I finished this for you?”
“Absolutely not. I forbid it.” He resumed his work on the hooks of her gown. “Undressing you is like unwrapping an elaborately wrapped gift. Never underestimate the pleasure of anticipation.”
She clenched her fingers in the front of his linen shirt.
When he had opened the gown to a point just below her breasts, he paused again and rested his forehead against hers. “Damn. I don’t believe this.”
Her heart sank. Was he disappointed in what he had uncovered thus far? “Is something wrong?”
“Yes.” He raised his head and looked down at her with a rueful expression. “My hands are shaking so badly it is all I can do to manage these hooks.”
“Really?” She was entranced by the knowledge that she had such an effect on him.
“I intended to sweep you away on a romantic cloud of passion and pleasure. Instead, I feel like a great, clumsy oaf.”
The confession emboldened her as nothing else could have done in that moment.
“Perhaps it would make things easier if I assisted you in this process,” she suggested once more.
With trembling fingers she began to unknot his tie.
Adam’s mouth crooked and his eyes gleamed in the lamplight. “Yes,” he said, “I think that will help considerably.”
In a matter of moments she was left standing only in her chemise, stockings and drawers. Her heavy gown lay in a frothy heap on the wooden floor. Adam’s tie, waistcoat and white linen shirt lay next to them. He stood before her, clad only in his trousers.
The firelight gleamed on his sleekly muscled body. Fascinated, she traced the strong contours of his chest with her fingertips.
“You are as magnificent as a statue of an ancient god,” she whispered.
He uttered a half-choked laugh. “I trust you find me somewhat warmer and a bit younger.”
“Much warmer and much younger. Perfect, in fact.” She wanted to bask in the heat from his body.
“Ah, my sweet. You go to my head.”
It had been difficult to undress Adam, owing to the fact that she had never before attempted to rid a man of his clothes. She had stopped after she had gotten his shirt off because she did not possess quite enough nerve to tackle the buttons of his trousers. Fortunately, he did not seem to find her hesitation odd.
He picked her up and settled her carefully on the cot. Then he straightened and freed himself from his remaining clothes with a few swift, impatient motions.
She was transfixed.
She reminded herself that unlike the carefully sheltered ladies of the city, she had been raised in the country. She was, therefore, not unfamiliar with the sight of male animals in this state. In addition, Emma and Milly had always been extremely modern in their notions of what was appropriate to a young lady’s education. All in all, she ought to have had a fair notion of what to expect from this first encounter with a man. Nonetheless, she was astonished.
Adam hesitated at the side of the bed, his face shadowed in the flickering light. “Is something wrong?”
“No.” She reached up and caught his hand in hers, squeezing tightly. “Nothing is wrong.”
He lowered himself down onto the cot very carefully and pulled her into his arms. One by one, he took the pins from her hair. She trembled when she heard them click on the floorboards beside the bed.
“I did not plan on this tonight,” he whispered, kissing her throat. “I brought you here on impulse and as a result, I have one great regret.”
She held her breath. “If you have changed your mind—”
“Never.” His fingers tightened in her hair. “I am consumed by my desire for you. I could not turn aside now if my life depended on it. No, my regret is that I did not take you to more elegant surroundings. You deserve better than this barren room.”
She relaxed and touched his face. “This room is perfect, Adam. Everything tonight is perfect.”
He put one hand on her stocking-clad leg. When he stroked her inner thigh, the world as she had always known it was forever changed. The intimacy of his touch was almost unbearably exciting.
It was as if she had been walking through a garden all of her life, turned a corner around a high hedge and suddenly found herself in an exotic, tropical jungle.
“You are so beautiful.” He undid the buttons of her chemise and kissed the curve of her breast.
She was not beautiful, she thought. But tonight he made her feel as though she were the direct descendent of Cleopatra, Helen of Troy and Venus.
When he took one nipple between his teeth, waterfalls of sensations crashed through her. A wild, fiery tension built deep inside her. The weight of Adam’s leg anchoring her thigh to the bed was an exquisite pressure.
When his fingers found her secrets through the open seam of her drawers, she almost screamed. Shock and astonished pleasure played havoc with her breath and pulse. Nothing she had ever experienced felt quite like the touch of Adam’s hand on the most delicate portion of her anatomy.
“You are already damp and ready for me,” he whispered into her ear.
She was vaguely embarrassed that he had noticed the wet heat between her legs but she could not retreat from his touch. She wanted more of whatever he was doing to her.
And then somehow he had undone the tapes that secured the drawers. He moved on top of her and kissed the place between her breasts. Her head fell back across his arm. She felt tight and hot and desperate.
“Please,” she whispered, urgently curving one leg around his muscular thigh.
He shifted his position slightly. She felt pressure.
“Yes,” she sa
id. “It feels so good.”
“Caroline.”
He drove himself into her in a single, searing thrust.
Be careful what you wish for, she thought.
She had been expecting something of the sort, but the pain still came as a shock because a few seconds ago she had been glorying in the most amazing pleasure.
“What on earth?” She jerked violently and shoved instinctively at his shoulders. “Wait. Stop. I believe there is something wrong.”
Adam froze.
She tried to gingerly ease away from him. “Forgive me. This is my fault. I didn’t realize, you see. I mean, I thought I did but clearly I didn’t.”
“Caroline, stop moving, I beg you.”
“Would you mind very much getting off of me?”
He groaned. She could see sweat on his brow. His jaw clenched as though he was in agony. His eyes were half-closed. With an obvious effort of determined will, he began to ease himself out of her body.
The sensation was not unpleasant.
“Wait,” she ordered. She clamped her hands on his back, holding him still. “Maybe that won’t be necessary.”
“Caroline, you are going to drive me mad.”
“Actually, it does not feel quite so uncomfortable now.” She wriggled again and got a satisfactory feeling in return. “Perhaps if you continued very slowly.”
“Very slowly?” He rested his weight on his elbows and imprisoned her face with his hands. Every muscle in his body seemed to be sculpted of steel. His eyes were those of a man who is fast approaching some inner limit. But his mouth curved slightly in a sensual smile that could have set fire to the entire city. “Like this, do you mean?”
He began to move again. Slowly.
Her body relaxed. He reached down and did something to her with his fingers. Everything inside her clenched as tight as a fist. But not in resistance this time; rather in a frantic, demanding manner.
“Yes,” she whispered. “Oh, yes, just like that.”