Darlings of Decay

by Chrissy Peebles

  “You’re sad.” I said, surprised.

  “Of course I’m sad. Where else am I going to get my booty call? Surely not from brown, crunchy fucker?” I was glad she made light of it. A reason I liked her.

  I pulled her camouflage-covered hips to straddle me. “Let’s try to get it out of your system.” My thumbs brushed along her dog tag chain to her collarbones as she shook out the rest of her hair from its binding. She ran her hands up my stomach, pulling me closer by my dog tags. “Hey now,” I mumbled, following my thumbs with my lips. I loved collarbones and hers had perfect prominence and dips.

  She rocked her pelvis, grinding against me. “I’ve had a rough day, and I need a rough fuck.”

  I felt my lips tug into a smile. Another reason I liked her. “Whatever you say, private.”

  *

  A few days after my old roommate moved out, I found I’d be getting another one.

  The squawk of the CB sounded in my bedroom. I wanted to throw it out the window. Walking in there, I picked up the hand held, “What the fuck do you want?” I lit a cigarette, inhaling quickly before blowing the smoke out.

  “You might get a roommate in a few days. Civilian. His choice. Quarantine ward is putting him through hell for fighting. He’s in the cages.”

  “Name?”

  “Rudolph Garrett Hawthorne. Want me to send a file?”

  Rudolph? I laughed out loud. He probably wouldn’t last, so why not? “Yeah, and send him over when he clears.”

  A few days later, I was getting ready to start my training, when the knock came. Opening the door, I immediately knew I should have looked the file over more. I knew he was twenty-four, engaged and a business graduate student with a 4.0. After reading that, my brain hit the hypothetical snooze button. I crossed him off as some kind of corporate ladder climbing nerd and tossed the file in the bottom of a drawer.

  Saying the guy was large would be a massive understatement. Being shorter than average had nothing to do with this. Even him being three steps down we were head to head. Fuck me, I probably only came up to his chest. A beard covered his face in the same brown color as his short, messy hair, and he looked ready to pass out on his feet. But what caught my attention the most was the bow strapped to his back along with a guitar and a quiver full of arrows. He held his duffle loosely as if it weighed nothing.

  I spent the next few years bunking with him off and on. He wouldn’t ever know it, and I’d never tell him, but him showing up at the quarantine base changed my perspective on the outbreak. I was suddenly not ready to die, so I took my training seriously instead of half-heartedly.

  Rudy handled the outbreak with a sort of calmness I envied. Although, he didn’t loose people like I did, he’d been through so much shit before the outbreak it was like he woke up, saw zombies, flipped up both middle fingers and said, “Fuck you world. I’ve been through worse and you’re not getting rid of me yet.”

  There was a lot of shit we ended up doing without consent… like going on looting trips off base. A lot of them. I figured if he was going to drink my alcohol, he could help get it. The first trip I’d never forget. After that, it was like he couldn’t sit still and wanted to leave the base all the time. All it took was that one taste of freedom.

  I was really surprised to figure out—he hated how women treated him—usually like some beefcake stallion. Most men would take advantage of that, and even though I was sure he’d done it before, he loathed it and loathed himself as well. For what exactly, I’d never been able to figure it out, but he did. And his weird relationship with the leech, I came to the conclusion long ago was more like siblings than an engaged couple.

  “What’s with the blonde?” I had finally asked him, referring to Julie when I was on a short weekend break from the community. We had been shooting arrows, but eventually downed a bottle of Jim Beam. Of course, he drank more than me this time and I let him because Julie had been over to our house that day. For some reason, her visits always bound him up tight. It was also the first time I figured out I could get him to talk when he was drunk. I only had to ask. I could probably ask him sober, but I’d never worked up the nerve.

  “What-do-you-mean?” This came out in a jumbled slur. All one word. He was sitting on the kitschy couch bent over holding his head in his hands. His bandana was MIA, and his hair was all over the place because of it. He’d grown his hair out, well so had I, but he did it because it got on Julie’s nerves. I was sure.

  “I know you’re engaged but…”

  “Fuckin’ nothin’.”

  I took the last gulp from the bottle and said, “OK. Whatever you say, man.”

  “Our dad died. Her dad, but you know…he was like my dad, too. He died and fucked everythin’ up.” He raised his head as he said up, popping his lips on the p. “We started whorin’ around on each other. Guessin’, can’t get past it.” After kicking off his boots, he lay back on the couch and adjusted himself while doing so. “Never had a dad.”

  I scoffed, “I did, and they aren’t all they’re cracked up to be.”

  “Why?”

  “Served twenty-two years and died in the field. Never married my mom. Only thing he gave me was the attitude to serve. Look where that got me.” I lifted the bottle to drink, but remembered it was empty. “Doing whatever that repulsive moron wants just to keep an eye on the place.”

  One of his eyes sprung open, bloodshot from the booze. The community was always a curiosity for him. “I wanna go.”

  “Sleep it off, dude.”

  Just a few days after that, I was called to Birmingham. A new Coalition development started there and was being kept on the down low for the time being. Theories were going around about the revolutionists’ next move. I sat in front of my new lieutenant going over reports and updating my status at the base and the community I resourced. “I understand you’ve been staying with a…” He picked up a paper, but I knew he already knew the name without looking. “Rudolph Hawthorne for the past two and half years?”

  “Yes.”

  “We’ve been watching him. And even though you didn’t know it, you have, too. Tell me about him.”

  I went on autopilot. “Keeps to himself. Helps with maintenance at the base.”

  “He came with a group of people, most of which he didn’t know. Started a fight and could have held his own against three men, had weapons. Seems like a good candidate for recruiting. His background gave us pause. What do you think?”

  “No,” I said, a little uneasy.

  “No?”

  “I mean he’s not mentally capable. A little unstable. You can if you want, but I wouldn’t recommend it.” He stared at me for a long time, but my last sentence seemed to appease him.

  He nodded, “OK, I’ll write it off, but I still want to talk to him.”

  Shit. Walking out into the hall, I ran my hands through my mop of girl curls. Another Collins Curse passed to me from my mom. How the hell was I going to keep Rudy from enlisting?

  *

  Now…

  I hate playing cards, but I find I like it just to spend time with Kan. I’ll do anything to keep her mind off going to that stupid base, but she’s bound and determined. Russell, a moron, sits across the poker table in the Clap Trap and steals a glance at Nick’s cards, another moron.

  “Hey! You’re fucking cheating!” I belt out. Gangly Russell straightens up, trying to look innocent. Nick flashes him a deadly look.

  An elbow catches me in my side, but Kan tries to hide her smile behind her cards. She whispers to me, “You’re an idiot. He would have given away if Nick had anything.”

  “So you knew?” She nods, and I steal a peek at her cards. “Oh, thought I was helping you out.” I whisper. “Carry on,” I say to the table and Kan laughs beside me. I like hearing her laugh, but I hate that it makes me feel guilty.

  I thought I had one up on her until she folds. Nick folds, too. Too bad. This could have been interesting. Turns out she’s smart to fold, I lose after putting all in
. Shooting her a look, I stand up, which only causes her to laugh even more until Reece steps up behind her.

  When she sees him, she glances at me. “Got to go, Mac.” The crossbow resting on the table is pulled from it as she stands and leaves. They’ve been spending an awful lot of time together, and since he’s well into his forties, I don’t think it’s anything sensual. Rudy watches them leave from his place at the bar, seeming more confused about them than me.

  “Where are they going?” I ask him as I walk up.

  His eyes cut to me. “You probably know more than me.”

  “She’s staying with you, so I doubt it.”

  A smile follows a snort. “Shows what you kno—”

  A scream cuts through the warehouse over the beat of the bass. We set our sights on it. A chained famished has his mouth on an arm of a woman named Lucy. “Shit!”

  *

  That’s how I find myself pacing in front of an extremely pissed off Guido and a smiling Mago. We were in the small workout room that smells like piss and the beat of the party continues on in the Trap. Lucy had decided to turn and be put on display. Kan got all righteous and sexy as fuck and shot the zombie bitch in the middle of her own Clap Trap celebration. Lucy was newly turned and would have lasted a long time, therefore pissing Guido off, so here I am doing damage control.

  Kan has a weird thing with zombies and their souls but the fact is, she is right and doesn’t even know it. It’s a huge secret though. I know why Mago’s here, but Kan is why he looks amused at it all—a rare sight for him. He never finds anything at the community amusing, and the fact he finds Kan so, is discouraging. I don’t like his attention on her.

  Mago’s currently laughing and stroking his pointy beard. “She rendered a rabies metaphor when I inquired her about it.”

  Guido just glares at us both. “We had a deal, Mac boy!”

  “I didn’t do it this time and it’s not like you can’t get more. Kan’s actions are her own. You act as though I told her to do it.”

  “Yew put up a fight on Lucy.”

  “Not out of the norm for me. And if I remember correctly, Kan tried to talk her out if it, too.”

  “You git me a new dead ‘em?”

  “Do you think about anything else? I’m starting to get worried and fuck no, I won’t.”

  Guido lifts a shoulder, but there is tension around his eyes. “Had ta ask. But chickie need ta figure whut she doin’. She can’t stay for free.” With that he walks out with the music from the Trap blaring in while he opens and closes the door.

  “Special acquaintance you have,” Mago mentions.

  I glance at him. “She’s not just an acquaintance, and you leave her alone.”

  “You depart for the base soon? The general mentioned it. I guess you got your permission.”

  “Day after tomorrow. You get Mya transferred?” He nods. “Good.”

  “This community might be full of incompetent absurdity, but the revolutionists are organized extremists.”

  I sigh, wishing he’d tell me something I don’t know.

  *

  I’m packing up my arrow booth from the marketplace. There’s no telling when I’ll be back. I hate doing it right now, especially since I can’t get my head out of the bed. The smile on my face must be contagious because everyone smiles at me when they walk by. Probably wondering what’s wrong with the asshole, but not going to complain.

  Walking into my room, I put several boxes against the wall. I catch sight of the stupid skirt Kan had on last night laying haphazardly in the corner in the exact same spot I tossed it. It looked ridiculous on her, but not because it wasn’t hot, just not her thing. Chuckling, I pick it up and stuff in a bag with other dirty clothing.

  I notice my compound bow is missing, so I know she still has it at the target range, but when I get there the range is eerily empty. Chills race up my arms as I walk out to the parking lot where the rest of the team is packing up vehicles. Rudy catches me walking up and turns the other way. Kan is nowhere in sight.

  “Where’s Kan?” I question and try not to panic when everyone looks at me confusedly.

  “At the target range,” Rudy answers. “I saw her there not even thirty minutes ago.” His neck starts getting red as his jaw clenches.

  “You saw her?”

  “That’s what I just said.” The words are a rumble. He looks to the distance to calm himself I suppose. “She’s here, probably in the Marketplace. She’s been collecting jars of moonshine.”

  “I was just there packing up my booth.” Dread washes over me when the conversation Kan and I had earlier this morning flashes to the forefront of my mind. I scowl at our audience and they back off to resume what they were doing beforehand. “She left.” I state.

  “Fuck. You haven’t even looked for her.” It’s no less a growl as he stalks past me to go look himself.

  I follow him. “What the fuck is your problem?”

  “You ever think that some things just aren’t your business?”

  Rubbing the back of my neck, I’m kind of shocked at the vehemence coming from him even though I know what it is. Rudy is the most laid-back guy I’ve ever known. “Well, no. Not really.”

  The glare he shoots me could turn someone to stone. “This isn’t.” That’s all he says about it as we ask around for Kan. My heart sinks lower, and Rudy is looking more worried by the minute. Turns out, no one has seen her since she shot Zombie Lucy last night. Except Rudy and I.

  Rudy stops to lean against a wall with his hands on his knees, breathing heavier.

  When he looks up, he’s pale like he’ll throw up. “Something bad happened,” he says, his earlier attitude dust in the wind. Anger and irritation snakes its way through my limbs.

  “No, it didn’t. She left. I told her about Julie.” His glare returns with a vengeance as his face twists. For a minute I think he’ll say something, but he pushes away from the wall in a hurry through the courtyard.

  He throws, “I know,” over his shoulder. When I catch up to him, he continues, “Why would you think Julie has anything to do with her missing?”

  I cut him a sideways look, “I know you’re not that dense.”

  Stopping, he turns to face me, crossing his arms. “What you’re implying is dead wrong. I know Kan, and she wouldn’t leave the team like this. She’s mad at the omission, not the context. So this is what we’re going to do. Look for her because she would do the same. We can start at her house. You and Reece know where it is. Then if she’s not there, we’ll go to those fucks that held us up and shot you in the ass in the middle of downtown. They could have followed us back.”

  That throws me for a loop, but only for a second. I almost laugh—Kan wouldn’t go back to that house. She knows we’d look for her there. Plus, he didn’t see the flare of devastation on her face when I told her about Julie. There’s no doubt in my mind she left on her own. “I doubt she’d be with the weird mongrels because according to Kan’s description, those guys were from the base. So no, it would be a waste to look for her. Just because you’re feeling guilty for not telling her…all because of some infantile hang-up of being alone. We need to continue with the base mission.”

  Something sparks in his eyes. “The fuck we are.”

  His fist flashes, splintering pain through my nose as blood spurts out. Sucking air through my nose, blood goes straight to my throat and I taste it. I raise my hand to wipe blood off. “Did you just sucker punch me?” Fuck him, now my nasally voice matches my height.

  A smug smile touches his lips. “Bringing up a childhood complex is a low blow, even for you.”

  My body heats up and releases adrenaline in my veins. I’ll show him low blow. I aim my fist at a rib that gets bruised all the time, he releases a grunt and the next thing I know, both of our fists are flying. I get a good one in his eye. Yells commence from the parking lot, but it doesn’t stop us. Pain hits my cheek and dots burst in front of my eyes. Somehow we end up on the ground with Rudy holding me down as
Reece and John try to pull him off. I keep aiming for that rib and Rudy uses his knee to hit me in the jaw causing my head to snap sideways and agony slices up my jaw.

  “God dammit!” I manage. Sam and Ty help Reece and John. They finally get him to stop struggling, and I jump up, running my hands through my hair to get debris out of the curls. Rudy has blood flowing from his lip and his eyebrow is split again with some of his hair stuck in it. He looks at me knowing I have more to give if I really wanted to hurt him. I guess we both needed to let off a little steam. I glare at all of them and stalk off.

  *

  Then….

  I hurried down the tree-canopied sidewalk. Even as cold as it was, children played and laughed in all directions. It all seemed heightened than the last time I was here at the base, but I’m only here for a minute. Smoke from one of Guido’s homemade cigarettes flowed from my mouth. Rudy didn’t know about the revolutionists. It’s not common knowledge. So I had to tread carefully with what I’d say. I’d go under pretense of his recruitment.

  Bursting through the door, Rudy startled but kept playing his guitar. Poindexter was perched beside him on the arm of the chair, did a cat stretch and hopped off. “I can only stay a minute.”

  Rudy looked up, noticing my cigarette and set his guitar to the side. “What’s wrong?”

  “Did they talk to you?”

  He smiled, “Yeah, but I think they tossed the idea when I said, ‘When do I get a gun to play with?’”

  I laughed. “No shit?”

  He shook his head, “Nah, man. Haven’t heard a word.”

  Sitting on the couch, I said, “Listen, if they say anything, just bail. If anything bad happens at all, fucking bail. Use the spot we use when we loot. And go here. It’s the community. Follow the famished.” I handed him a sheet of paper.

  “You seem to think something will happen.”

  I didn’t hesitate. “I’ve just been thinking, we should have a back-up plan, you know? Something you need to have anyway.”

  “Sure. Thanks. Might go anyway. I wasn’t in my graduate studies to fix fucking toilets.”