by Nicola Jane
“Right.” I smile. “Now, let’s address the picture you got.”
“I should have trusted you,” she admits.
“Yeah, you should. I’m not gonna cheat on you. I’m not Justin.”
“If you do,” she starts, and I try to protest, but she holds her hand up to shut me up. “If you do, be honest. Tell me straight away, so you don’t blindside me. It’ll hurt but not as much if someone else tells me.”
“Okay,” I mutter, “but I won’t cheat.”
“We didn’t talk about your drinking today with Eleanor,” Lottie says.
“You stole the limelight with your little tale,” I joke, and she grins. The candlelight flickers, illuminating her face. “I want us to marry . . . I want kids . . . I want the whole thing,” I blurt out, and she raises her eyebrows in surprise. “It’s soon, I get it, but I want you to know that’s my plan. I’m not going anywhere. Being my ol’ lady isn’t enough—I want it all.”
“Let’s sort out our demons first,” she says, gently placing her hand on my own. “We’ve got forever, remember.”
“In other news, the cops have dropped the charges. Raven gave me an alibi.”
Lottie smiles wide and relief floods her face. “We really will have forever then.”
Chapter Fifteen
LOTTIE
“It was lovely,” I admit, and Anna smiles.
“I’m so glad you had a good night,” says Leia. “We stayed in again.” She scowls at Chains, who groans.
“We have a fucking baby, where the hell do you wanna go?”
“Anywhere but this damn club,” she mutters, marching off.
“Women,” Chains hisses, drinking his beer down in one.
“Make the most of the honeymoon period, because it soon ends up like that,” says Anna, grinning.
“I take you out,” says Riggs, “and we have three kids between us.”
“Don’t rub it in,” snaps Chains. “Maybe if you didn’t have me working my ass off in the garage and then sending me on runs, I wouldn’t be so tired. You realise I’m not the only brother in this MC, right?”
“Perks of being my brother-in-law,” says Riggs, patting him on the back.
“You can’t punish me for marrying your sister forever.”
“Watch me,” Riggs utters with a smirk.
Hannah joins us, taking a seat on the couch next to Taya. I see Storm eyeing her questionably, but she shrugs it off, causing him to scowl. I wonder if he’s okay with her sexuality. I haven’t asked him because he clearly doesn’t want to talk about it. Last time I tried to make light of it, he bit my head off, but rumours are circulating amongst the club girls that Taya and Hannah are seeing each other.
Everyone begins to split off, having conversations amongst themselves. I turn to Anna. “Storm mentioned marriage,” I whisper, and she smiles wide. “Don’t you think it’s a bit soon?” I ask, frowning.
“You know what these guys are like, Lottie. When they want something, they go above and beyond to make it theirs. If you like each other, I don’t see the problem. Did he say he wants to march you down the aisle tomorrow?”
“God, no,” I gasp.
“Then stop overthinking. He’s just letting you know where his head is at. Future plans,” she says, shrugging.
It’s not that I don’t wanna marry him. I’ve never thought about it. But that’s the problem, right? I’ve never thought about it because we’re so new. And Storm comes with a lot of baggage. Seb is great, he’s a cute kid, but I can’t even sort my own head out, let alone look after a kid.
Storm takes my hand and pulls me to stand. “Let’s go to bed, baby. I gotta work off that dinner.” He winks and leads me away. Tonight has been perfect, and I’m not gonna overthink, like Anna pointed out. I’m gonna take each day at a time and enjoy what we have so far. It can only get better now we’ve finally admitted our feelings.
It’s a week later when Storm raises the subject of marriage again. We’re sitting out back on a blanket, watching Seb play with Bently. It’s a hot day, and I’m lying with my head in Storm’s lap, letting the sunshine warm my face. “Have you thought about marriage?” he asks.
I keep my eyes closed. “Erm, not really.”
“I thought all women did that shit from being a kid. Planned the big day, pictured it in their heads.”
“Not me,” I say, shrugging. “I climbed trees, pretended I was a parkour champion.”
I feel his body shake as he laughs. “I can’t wait to see mini Lotties running around doing just that.”
“You don’t want kids with me,” I say lightly. “I was trouble, always doing something wrong.”
“I don’t believe that for one second, but hearing it makes me want kids with you even more.”
“It’s literally been a few weeks,” I mutter. “We’re going from zero to a hundred.” I feel him stiffen, so I open one eye. “I’m just saying, let’s enjoy what we have right now.”
“I am. I’m just letting you know where we’re headed.”
“The future isn’t promised, Storm.”
“Ours is, butterfly. Ours is.”
“Don’t make promises,” I almost whisper, sitting up.
“Is that what’s wrong?” he asks, moving my hair over my shoulder. “You think I’m gonna let you down?” I shrug again. “Baby, I’m not going anywhere. We’re together. It’s real. We both turned up at this club for a reason, and I think it was because we were meant to be. I love you, Lottie. I ain’t leaving.”
“That’s what all men say. I can’t get through another break-up. I thought we were a bit of fun, and now we’re serious and you’re talking kids and marriage. Fuck, slow down.”
He pushes to stand, looking annoyed. “Haven’t we had the best week? We’ve been together every minute and look how happy we are. You haven’t cut once, and I haven’t picked up a bottle. That shit’s real. We’re real.”
“Why are you getting so mad? I just want us to slow down, take one day at a time.”
“I don’t go slow, baby, in case you hadn’t noticed.” He sighs heavily. “I need to be away from you right now.”
I watch as he heads back inside. A few minutes later, Seb runs over. “Where’s Dad going?”
“He’s too hot out here. He needs a break from the sun,” I lie.
“Can I go inside too?”
I nod. “I’ll be in soon.”
Bently runs after Seb, and I watch them disappear inside. They’re becoming good friends. I lie back down on the blanket and close my eyes. Thoughts of marriage and babies infiltrate my mind. Why’s he gotta get so serious about us all the time? I'm not saying I don’t want that stuff, but I just want us to concentrate on one day at a time. Eleanor understands where I’m coming from. At counselling this week, I was open about my fear of being hurt again, and if we were to hurt each other, what that would mean for both of us mentally. It’s a lot of pressure.
“Lottie! Lottie, wake the fuck up!” I sit up with a start, almost head-butting Anna.
“Fuck,” I hiss, looking around in a panic. The sun is setting, I must have fallen asleep out here. “What time is it?”
“There’s been an accident,” says Anna. “Seb got hurt, and Storm’s taken him to the hospital. We gotta go.” I stand quickly, running with Anna towards her car. My heart is pumping fast outta my chest and my adrenaline is spiked from being woken like that. “The others have already headed to the hospital,” she adds. “I’ve been looking for you.”
“Is Seb okay? What happened?”
“I don’t know. I was shopping when Riggs called me. All he said was to find you and get to the hospital.”
We arrive and head straight for Paediatric Accident and Emergency. Riggs, Cree, and Eva are waiting outside a side ward. The second Riggs spots me, he rushes over, looking furious. “You gotta get her outta here,” he mutters to Anna.
“Me?” I ask, confused. “Why?”
“You told me to bring her,” says Anna, looking just as
confused.
“I sent you a text. Why don’t you ever check your fucking phone?” he snaps.
Anna opens her messages, and her mouth forms an O shape. “Right, we better go,” she whispers, backing up.
“Why? I don’t understand what’s going on. Is Seb okay?”
The curtain pulls back, and Storm glares at me. His face is a picture of anger. “What the fuck are you doing here?” he growls.
A few nurses look up from their workstation. “What did I do?” I ask.
“Storm, leave it. Get back in here,” comes Taya’s voice from behind the curtain. I hear Seb begin to cry, and a pained look passes over Storm’s face.
“Is he okay?” I repeat.
“No thanks to you. Get out of my sight before I do something I’ll fucking regret,” he snaps, before turning his back to me and pulling the curtain into place.
“I’ll update you,” Riggs tells Anna, and she nods as she gently takes my arm and leads me away.
We drive back to the club in silence. “I don’t understand what just happened,” I eventually mutter.
“Riggs didn’t say. In his text, he just asked me to keep you away from Storm because he was pissed at you.”
“I was asleep. How could I have hurt Seb?”
“I don’t know, sweetie, but I’m sure Riggs will call soon. Why don’t you go and lie down, and I’ll come and find you when he calls.”
I go to my old bedroom, pausing at the door. All my stuff is in Storm’s room, but after the way he was just now, I don’t think he’d want me there. I go inside, knowing Storm will find me if he wants me in his bed.
Minutes turn to hours, and soon, my arse is hard from sitting by the window, staring out across London’s skyline. A million thoughts go through my head, but nothing prepares me for the minute Storm returns.
I hear him before I see him, stomping along the hall. He stops outside my door, then pushes it open. He stands in the doorway, staring hard at me. He still looks mad as hell, so I keep my mouth closed. “You not gonna ask how he is?” he grits out.
“How is he?”
“In fucking pain,” he yells, and I flinch.
“I don’t know what I did,” I whisper, my eyes brimming with tears. He can’t seriously be this mad over our earlier disagreement.
He sniggers and it’s cruel. He moves towards me quickly, grabbing the top of my arm and pulling me from the window. “I’ll fucking show you, shall I?” He drags me towards his room, flinging the door open. The floor is littered with open bandage packaging, some blood-soaked, some clean. In the middle of it all sits my cutting kit. It’s laying open in a pool of blood, the blade carelessly thrown to one side. I gasp, covering my mouth. “No,” I whisper, shaking my head, my tears falling freely.
“My boy cut his arm from here,” he pulls my arm out so it’s straight and places a finger roughly at my wrist, “to here,” he says, making a straight line to the crux of my elbow. Storm’s hand grabs my face, forcing me to look at him. “Tell me, butterfly, how the fuck did my seven-year-old kid find your dirty fucking blade when I hid that away?”
“I’m so sorry,” I murmur.
His fingers pinch my jaw tighter. “How?” he yells.
“I found it and hid it in the drawer,” I cry.
“Why would he go in the drawer?”
“He saw me putting it back one day. He asked me about it.” I sob uncontrollably, and Storm shoves me away. I stumble back out into the hall.
He swoops down, picking up the bloodied blade. “You want it so badly, fucking have it,” he yells, throwing it to my feet. “Make it count,” he growls.
I grip my chest. The pain is unreal as I make my way back to my room, locking the door behind me, and sliding down until I’m sitting in a broken heap on the floor.
STORM
I press my hand against Seb’s sweaty forehead. The doctor said he was fighting an infection and that’s why he’s running a temperature, but this is the third day and I don’t see any improvement. He hasn’t eaten and now they have him hooked to a drip to get fluids in. The worst thing, I can’t make any fucking decisions because Taya is his legal guardian. The doctors will only speak with me when she’s here. That shit needs to stop.
When she returns with two coffees, I clear my throat. “I’m ready,” I say.
“For?” She looks so tired. How had I never seen it before?
“Being his dad. I’m ready.”
She grins, placing the coffees down. “Good. You gotta sign some paperwork and have social services approve it, but I don’t think that’ll be a problem.”
“I’m sorry it took me so long.”
“You just needed time. What are sisters for? I knew you’d get to this point eventually. I’m proud of you.” I smile, because she’s never said that to me before. She sips her coffee as she fixes her eyes on me and says, “I heard Lottie is leaving.” I frown. Since putting my hands on her the way I did, I haven’t seen her. I’m ashamed, but fuck, I was mad. I’ve never felt my blood pump like it did that day. Seeing Seb like that, lifeless and bleeding out, it sent me crazy. “Lake is devastated. She’s talking about leaving London.”
“Probably for the best,” I mutter, stroking Seb’s hand.
“You really think that?”
“Don’t you?” I ask. “You weren’t keen on me seeing her anyway.”
“Yeah, at first, I had my doubts, but she’s grown on me. I was worried you were jumping from heartbreak to heartbreak, but she looked at you like you were her saviour. I thought you'd save each other.”
“In a way, she has. If Seb hadn’t found her shit, I wouldn’t be here now realising how badly I want to be his dad. Maybe it was all to lead us to this point.” We fall silent for a few minutes before I add, “She been okay though?”
Taya shrugs. “I don’t know. Lake’s been with her a lot. She spent two days locked in her room and refused to see anyone. Lake got that counsellor to come to the club and talk to her, and she eventually opened her door. But nobody’s told me anything, I’ve just picked up shit the club girls have been saying.”
“I’m surprised Lake hasn’t been on my ass about her,” I mutter.
“Your son got hurt badly. The guys get it. Most people would react how you did. But you don’t stop loving someone just like that. Accidents happen.”
“It was an accident that could have been avoided. I didn’t even know Seb had followed me back inside that day. I moved her tin to stop her cutting, and she put it back in the drawer. Not only that, she knew Seb saw it and didn’t move it out of his reach. Kids are curious. She should have hidden it,” I snap, feeling my temper rise again.
“She doesn’t have a kid, Storm. People don’t think about stuff like that when they haven’t had kids around. You knew she had issues when you decided to claim her. Are you going back on that now?”
I shrug. “It’s for the best. She’s right—we’re both too fucked up to be happy together. I need to concentrate on Seb from now on.”
“Are you going to tell her it’s over?” she asks.
“I think she got that memo already,” I respond, “but sure, I’ll go see her.”
“Just stay calm. She’ll be just as upset about Seb as you are. She didn’t mean for this to happen.”
When I get back to the club, I find Lake standing outside Lottie’s door like some kind of guard. He eyes me warily. “She said she promised your sister that if things went wrong between the two of you, she’d be the one to leave,” he snaps. “I only just got her in my life, and now she’s fucking leaving.”
“Let me talk to her,” I say. He sighs, stepping aside, and I knock on the door. “Lottie, can we talk?”
A few seconds pass before she opens the door and I step inside. Her suitcase is open on the bed and she’s folding clothes neatly. She looks tired, her face is pale, and she’s got dark circles under her eyes. “Is Seb okay?” she asks quietly, her voice hoarse. “I’ve been checking in with Taya for updates,” she adds. “I d
idn’t want you to think I haven’t been checking on him.”
“He’s got an infection, he’s on a lot of pain meds, and he lost a lot of blood, so they’re keeping him in until he shows signs he’s improving.”
She stuffs a makeup bag in the case. “How long for?”
“I don’t know. They tell me he’s doing good, but I don’t see it.” I watch her stuff some more clothes into the already full suitcase. “Where are you gonna go?”
“I’ve got some friends in Liverpool. I’m gonna head there for a while, then probably move on.” She shrugs her shoulders. “I don’t really know after that.”
“You don’t have to go,” I mutter. “If you wanna stay, it’s cool with me. We’ll avoid each other.”
“I was thinking of moving on anyway, so no time like the present,” she says brightly. “I found Lake and I’ll always have him in my life, I don’t have to be here for that. Besides, I love Liverpool.”
“You got enough cash?” I ask, pulling out my wallet.
A choked sob leaves her throat, and she smiles painfully, turning her back to me. “Mm-hmm,” she mumbles.
“Cos I got some savings I can give you, and here’s some to get you started.” I hold out a bunch of folded notes.
She shakes her head and looks back at me, her smile forced. “I’m good, thanks. I have some savings and I can get bar work when I get there.”
“It’s my . . .” I pause, frowning and staring at the wad of cash. “I mean, it was my job to provide for you, so this money is as good as yours for putting up with my moody arse.” I force a smile so she gets the joke, but she keeps packing her bags and shakes her head. I stuff it back into my wallet. “I shouldn’t have grabbed you the way I did,” I begin, but she waves her hand like it’s nothing. “No, I really shouldn’t have. I’m sorry about that. There’s no excuse apart from I was crazy worried about Seb and I lost my mind for a few minutes.” I place my hand over hers to stop her packing, but she flinches so I withdraw it quickly. She’s fucking scared of me, and now I feel like an even bigger arsehole. “Butterfly, I—”