“How is Cait?” I say nonchalantly.
“She's afraid I'm becoming some kind of art diva.”
“At least her fears are founded this time and not just about killer kittens.”
Cait’s fear, when she was in the throes of the pheromone, was that kittens would leap off her cell phone and kill her. She feared other cute animals too; social media was a minefield, but especially the cats from her free-to-play game Kitty Katastrophe. Now she hopes to become a zookeeper.
Everyone had their escapes. Mine was the catalog. Cait’s were comic books and free-to-play games. Each of us had something different. It’s what BP survivors all have in common, like how gay people have coming out stories in common.
I take off my shirt. “BRIEF POSE” is freshly tattooed on my chest, as if I'm wearing a BP shirt. I have to show Victor at some point. Why not today?
“What the fuck! You could've warned us! Marshall, look at this!”
“Already tweeted about it.” Marshall doesn’t even look over.
“Eric, why would you… Never mind, don't tell me. I don't even wanna know.” Victor turns back to his painting.
“You know how I like to repress things. This tattoo will help me face my past.” I go to hit the shower, which is in the corner of the room behind a curtain, but hesitate. “Guys?”
Marshall and Victor both give me their full attention.
“You'll be here when I get back, right?”
Victor shrugs. “I don’t plan on waiting up, but yeah, I live here.”
“Yes, Eric. No matter how tenuous sanity might feel, we're not going anywhere.”
I look at them for a moment, my “Brief Pose” on proud display. “It's strange, after everything that's happened, you’d think I would’ve learned my lesson, but I actually have faith in you two.”
“And if we're not here when you get back,” Marshall asks, “if this place goes up in flames?”
“Or if we're a figment of your imagination, and I run off into one of my paintings?”
“I'll survive.”
Marshall smiles. “Good boy.”
I return his smile and go to wash up for my date.
27.3
On the wall of the art studio hangs a painting of MODELS ON A BEACH. Sometimes I see the waves move, but it’s my imagination. I’ll never visit the models again, they’re not even a temptation, but on bad days, when it feels like no one understands me, it’s nice to know they’re there, longing to have me back.
Roll credits.
CHAPTER TWENTY-EIGHT
Final Image and Other Conclusions
28.0
In the closing of Brian Sartain’s book, he argues, in not so many words, that my film was really just exploitation of a national tragedy, that I was out to make a quick buck, and that BP’s problems could have been solved internally:
“The Archive,” combined with the security footage originally featured on Brief Pose Exposed’s website, paints a fairly complete picture of a close-knit group of victims turned victors. This begs the question: was the full film that Eric Loan funded through Kickstarter during his recovery even necessary? Bram and Abigail, by leaking the footage, used the Internet as the ultimate tool for democratization. They exposed a public safety crisis that inspired an overhaul of many wasteful governmental organizations, including the EPA and the CSPC.
It’s true that the documentary fermented public outrage and unrest, but was that necessary for reform. . . ?
Because of the footage leaked by Bram and Abigail, civil servants voluntarily authorized a relatively competent and decisive response. Within ninety days, almost everyone affected [by the pheromone] had been treated, and several research personnel from BP’s R&D department were on trial for endangering the public welfare. Much of BP’s board of directors was quickly replaced, and Matthew Weber was forced into retirement before he was even out of the hospital.
These actions weren’t inspired by mass protests. These actions were taken by those in charge, many made voluntarily by the private sector for the public good, long before BPE’s release.
Moreover, who knows what would’ve transpired if Brief Pose’s indiscretions had never even been exposed by Eric Loan and his radical cohorts. It’s likely that the company would have done the right thing and made the treatment free to the public without being forced; they were already treating their workers in various locations across the country. Addressing their customer base after dealing with their own workforce would have been in their own best interests. . . .
It’s also important to remember that Matthew Weber, who had unusual power and oversight over the company, was also affected by the pheromone. Those effects caused him to think brainwashing the public was a good idea. If he had been in his right mind, he would have understood that harming his customer base was a bad business strategy.
Successful corporations are not in the habit of psychologically damaging their clients. They need their customers to thrive, not kill themselves and each other. There is always an inherent motivation in capitalism for companies, large and small, to work for the public good. Companies help their customer’s live productive, healthy lives, while the free hand of the market keeps everyone in line, providing services that the public demands. Thankfully, it’s unlikely that something like the BP catastrophe will ever happen again. . . .
Given these realities, I can only conclude that the documentary was wholly unnecessary. The raw surveillance footage was enough for prosecutors. Brief Pose was eventually dissolved. Why involve the mass public in an isolated incident committed by one company? (Sartain, 280-289)
28.1
INT. SUBWAY - NIGHT
Dressed for my date, I hurry down the subway steps, holding one red rose. Caitlin and I aren’t ready to tell Victor we’re dating. He’s protective, and we’re pretty sure if he finds out we’ve been seeing each other in secret for the last three months, he’ll flip.
Cait and I got to know each other in the psychiatric hospital, during our recovery. She gave me her graphic novels to read, and I told her about how I stabbed Weber in the throat without realizing it. One thing led to another. Seeing her get better gave me faith that I could get better too. Now I can’t imagine my life without her. And here’s the thing: I’m happy about being so needy, happy I’m taking a risk on someone who is a little crazy like I am.
Our biggest obstacle has been Dickenson, her cat, who hates me with the energy of a thousand suns. Even now I have scratches on my thighs, forearm, and the back of my leg. He has peed on my clothes twice.
Victor will just have to get used to me dating his sister. She’s twenty-one (now that she’s had her birthday). She’s young, but we’re not doing anything wrong. He will get used to it. That is if we ever get around to telling him. Which we will! We’re all having dinner tomorrow night, and we’re going to tell him, and everything will be fine.
When I’m around him, why do I feel so guilty? I need to remind myself that he can’t read my dirty thoughts. My relationship with his sister could be as chaste as the driven snow for all he needs to know. I just need to man up and tell him, “Victor, I’m dating your little sister.”
God, he’s going to punch me in the face.
I make my way through the crowd. I don’t love that so many people mill around, but I’m handling it. The subway and the crowd remind me of my foster parents—how could it not?—but I have stopped reliving their tragic end. They were great people. They are more than their deaths. They taught me to love myself, and that other people can love me too, people like Victor, Marshall, and Cait. It just took me awhile to believe the lesson.
I will never be completely over their deaths, but that’s okay. Part of getting better is accepting that not everything has to be perfect or even good. The pain I still feel just means I loved them.
I haven’t turned into some kind of Pollyanna; I just don’t get down on myself anymore for feeling sad or angry. Even when the bad is banging around inside my head, I have other more
positive feelings in me too. Usually, if I acknowledge that complexity, I can think my way to a better outlook.
I miss a lot of people. Some days it can be really hard.
I miss Adam and his enthusiasm for rugby and for other people. He looked at life like it was one big adventure. I miss Tara’s calm and odd moments of wisdom. I’ve looked into a lot of profound Eastern thought because of her. I miss Loo and her faith that the world can be changed. And I miss the other side of her personality too, the one that loved the darkness. The world is a better place because of her. I miss JuanCarlos. Don’t worry; he’s okay, we’ve just lost touch. The people I have lost have changed my life. They have given me pain, but they’ve also healed me. Their memory is a scar, but it’s also a comfort. Simplifying everything down to tragedy or triumph disrespects the fact that we all live complicated lives. I’m thankful that the people I’ve lost were in my life, even if I miss them, sometimes terribly.
I move forward through each day vulnerable and afraid, and paradoxically that feels courageous and empowering.
Men apply an advertisement to the wall, but too many people are in the way for me to see what it is.
Sometimes I consider going into advertising, partly because I think it would be ironic, but mostly because I would actually get a decent paycheck for once. Please, Sundance. Accept my documentary. I’m submitting my film to a hundred other film festivals, but getting into Sundance could really make my career. It would help Bram get more work. Fiona could help with press, get that beautiful face out there, and maybe get a modeling contract. And even more than all that, Brief Pose Exposed could make a difference. Despite our website exposing the truth, many people still aren’t aware of what happened. The whole world was put at risk, and the fate of BP is still in limbo as far as I know. We need to demand its closure. I fear if Pheromone PXX remains unknown to the general public, something like that could happen again. Companies can’t be allowed to manipulate consumers. It’s not right.
There’s Cait! My anger evaporates. She pounces on me, and we kiss.
“Hunter’s store opened last week,” Cait says, looking casual and as beautiful as ever in her tight jeans and Saga comic t-shirt. “I thought we could stop by, wish him luck.”
I give her the rose. “After that, we go to your apartment?”
“And skip dinner? I’m ready if you are?”
“I’m more than ready.”
She takes my hand, and we crowd onto the train. Caitlin and I have been taking it slow because of our mental instability, but tonight we take our relationship to the next level. I know we’re both scared, but what’s life without a little risk?
The doors close. The train leaves the platform.
The men finish applying the advertisement. The final shot is a reveal of the new campaign for BRIEF POSE'S GRAND REOPENING. Good thing I have a documentary up my sleeve to take them down for good.
THE END
A note from the Author:
Thank you for reading Brief Pose.
If you liked what you read, please spread the word and write a review. Your help means everything to the life of this book, and it only takes a minute of your time. Brief Pose is independently published and doesn’t have a budget for marketing. It lives and dies on your word-of-mouth.
For news concerning future releases, sign up for my mailing list HERE.
Thank you, reader. You are why I write.
Wesley McCraw
Roseburg, Oregon
August 17, 2016
About the Author:
Born, raised, and currently living in Oregon, Wesley McCraw writes speculative fiction. Right now he is focused on Weird Fiction. Next, maybe it will be romantic, comedic fantasy.
Wes graduated from the University of Oregon, where he completed the much-acclaimed Kidd Tutorial, a one-year intensive writing clinic. During his time at the university, he was also a member of Write Club, where he trained under screenwriter Omar Naim (The Final Cut, Dead Awake).
Brief Pose is based on Wes’s screenplay of the same name, the 2011 winner of the StoryPros screenplay competition in the sci-fi/fantasy/horror category.
Wes is working on the third installment of his weird fiction series, House of Cabal, and a queer romance novel yet to be titled.
You can follow Wesley’s misadventures in self-publishing at:
https://selfwrite.wordpress.com/
and find him on twitter @WesleyMcCraw and @VampireFiction.
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