“I’m…Pace and I…we’re having some trouble,” Jason blurted out. He took a big sip and waited for a response from Adam, some sarcastic jab or smug look. His confused expression only fueled Jason’s need to explain. “I think she may have had an affair and I’m thinking I should leave.”
“Why?” Adam just sat there, holding his drink, his legs crossed at the ankles.
“She cheated.” Jason knew he needed to say more and had planned to lay the whole story out for him. He thought they’d hack away at the details, then hack away at Pace. In some sick, perverted way, he’d looked forward to Adam admitting he never liked her. But Adam just sat there, waiting for Jason to explain, and now he worried Adam might side with her.
“She cheated,” Adam repeated. “Are you sure?”
“Well, that’s the problem. I’m not sure.” So he told him about the pregnancy, his getting tested, her miscarriage, and the doctor’s email.
“Why would she have pushed you to get tested if she’d cheated? Wouldn’t she have tried to keep you away from having your sperm tested if she thought there was even a chance the baby belonged to someone else?”
The last thing Jason wanted to hear was logic. “What difference does it make? She lied to me. She was pregnant and even the doctor refused to call it anything other than a miscarriage.”
Adam ran his hands over his face and then through the thinning hair on his head. He looked at Jason a long time before answering. “You’d better be sure before you do anything drastic.”
Jason stood up and paced around the room before he turned to face his brother. “What do I have to do? Catch her in bed with someone? Jesus, this is the last thing I expected from you.”
“Look, kid, don’t get all worked up.” Adam lifted his beefy hand in surrender. “I’m just saying you need to think this through before you do anything permanent. It sounds to me like you may have overreacted to something that could have a very simple explanation.”
“I don’t believe this. I thought you would understand. I thought you, of all people, would know what I’m going through.”
Adam leaned forward to set his drink on the table and his chair crackled like a pop gun. “Jason, I get it, really, but…” He took a big breath and let it out slowly. “Look around. Does this look like a happy life? I’m alone in this shit-hole apartment, I barely see my kids, and when I do, I barely recognize them. The woman I’d planned to spend the rest of my life with is sleeping with her new husband in my old bed.” He didn’t get worked up about it like he did at the restaurant and his quiet resignation gave his words that much more power. “If I had a chance to have Lydia back, even after she left me and cheated, I’d do it in a heartbeat. I ignored all the signs she was unhappy, I ignored her pleas for attention, and even refused counseling when she admitted things weren’t going well in our marriage.”
“That’s what I don’t get,” Jason said in a flurry of defensive anger. “There weren’t any signs that things were going south. We were happy, at least I thought we were happy. I didn’t look around and wonder what it would be like to be with someone else and I sure as hell didn’t think Pace was. This whole thing came out of left field.”
“So maybe the lab did make a mistake and she wasn’t pregnant. It’s not like that kind of stuff never happens.”
Jason knew that was the most logical explanation, had said it to himself a thousand times, but the seed of doubt had wedged itself into his brain like a thorn in his ass. No matter what he did, no matter how he sat, he couldn’t just forget it. “But what if she did cheat?”
Adam stared at Jason for a long time, his eyes unfocused. Everything about his brother—his sluggish movements, his unusually loud breathing, the way his lips fold downward at the corners—showed his resentment. “I don’t think Pace would cheat on you, Jason. Not from what I’ve seen with my own eyes and not from what you’ve told me.”
“I can’t live with the idea that she cheated. I won’t be blindsided when the truth comes out.”
“I know how you feel.” He waved his arm around the dingy apartment. “Lydia’s affair felt like a sucker-punch. And by the time I got over being pissed, she and her lover were married.”
The last thing Jason wanted to do was defend himself or discuss his feelings and talking about Adam’s marriage to the super-bitch ranked even further down on his list. “Okay, so you fucked up your marriage. But this is different. At least you know for sure what happened. And just because Lydia’s remarried—that doesn’t mean your life is over. There’re other women out there. What about Candace?”
Adam leaned forward and braced his elbows on his knees like he was letting Jason in on some big secret. “Do you have any idea what it’s like to date? It sucks. Yeah, you get to sleep with different women, some of them are even halfway decent in bed, but I still end up back here every night alone. And everybody’s got kids. I can’t connect with my own kids. How the hell am I supposed to put up with somebody else’s?”
Jason sat down as the bourbon and spicy chicken rolls inched up his throat. “I thought Candace was nice.”
“She is nice, she’s very nice. And despite her church-lady-like look, she loosens up in the sack. But I think I’m going to end it with her.”
Jason tried not to wince as a visual of Adam and Candace having sex flashed in his mind. “Why?”
Adam sat back and took another sip. “Lydia and I…we kinda hooked up last weekend.”
“Lydia? Your ex-wife Lydia?”
“We met to discuss the kids, same old shit, and ended up having a few drinks. Shared a cab back to my place.”
“I don’t get it.”
“It was good, really good. I love her, I’ve always loved her, and I want her back.”
“But she’s married. She’s married to the guy she cheated on you with.”
“I plan to steal her back.” Adam smiled, slapped his hand on his knee. “Look, kid. Take a lesson from your older brother. You’ve got a gorgeous wife—a Southern woman.” He chuckled, took another sip. Jason noticed the way his hands shook and his slow, deliberate blinking. “That’s where I went wrong. I married a Yankee.” He pointed at Jason with his glass, sat back, and grinned. “Your kids still want to spend time with you, so before you fuck everything up, send your kids into therapy, and your wife into the arms of another man you’ll end up hating for having everything you used to have, I’d think long and hard about what you plan to do.” What started as a drunken lecture ended up sounding like stone cold sober good advice. “Take a really good look at me, Jason. I’m having an affair with my wife, hoping to steal her away from her new husband. Is this the future you want for yourself?”
Chapter 10
Tori sat on the pictures, ticking away like a bomb in her locked desk drawer. She spent two days in complete denial, pretending the pictures hadn’t arrived, pretending she hadn’t seen her husband with the twenty-year-old daughter of one of their oldest friends—a girl she’d talked him into hiring. Christ, after all this time, how had she convinced herself he’d changed?
Who had she been kidding? He would never change. If she thought there was a chance he’d end his ridiculous affair and beg her forgiveness, she wouldn’t have kept the private detective on retainer. She’d hoped, that’s all, she’d dared to hope that he’d come to understand how dangerous these little affairs were to his career and his legacy. To her legacy. If she knew he was having an affair, if Ed and Caroline and whoever else happened to spot them knew he was having an affair, how long would his secret stay buried?
And Caroline kept calling. At first Tori lied and said she hadn’t heard anything from the detective. She eventually confessed to having the pictures.
“What are you going to do?” Caroline kept asking over and over and over again. Tori kept saying the same thing. “I don’t know, I don’t know, I don’t know.” Now she just avoided her calls.
She should have known she couldn’t avoid her forever.
When Tori passed Caroline’s
house on her morning jog, Caro waited at the bottom of her drive wearing a green track suit and bright pink running shoes. The fact that Tori had never seen her in anything remotely close to an athletic outfit stopped her mid stride.
“Did you rob an elf?”
Caroline pulled herself up to her full five feet and threw her hands on her hips. “It’s my walking suit. You’re not the only one who can exercise.”
Tori jogged in place and panted in the cool morning air. “When did you start exercising?”
“Today.” She fell into step with Tori when she began to walk so her legs didn’t cramp. “You’ve been avoiding me.”
“No.” She felt for her pulse and looked at her watch. She should have skirted Caroline’s street altogether.
“You never could tell a decent lie.”
“I’m a politician’s wife.” She quickened her pace and Caroline pumped her arms to keep up. “I practically lie for a living.”
“You’re confusing you with your husband.” Caro reached for her arm and gasped. “Can you slow down just a bit? My legs aren’t as long as yours.”
She adjusted her speed to a near crawl and Caro smiled gratefully. Tori knew she was only trying to help, but it felt like an ambush. “Look, Caroline, I’m not going to do anything rash. Colin’s out of town again and I’m thinking about how I should proceed.” They turned the corner and tried not to breathe the exhaust from a passing trash truck. “He’s actually been pretty decent lately. It may just be enough that he thinks I know what’s going on.”
“Enough for whom? You’re his wife, for God’s sake, not the checkout girl at the grocery store. There’s nothing nice about infidelity.”
“Will you keep your voice down, please?”
They both looked around. There wasn’t a soul in sight, unless they counted the squirrels gathering nuts in the grass or the birds squawking in the branches above their heads. “Okay…”
“What do you want me to do?” Tori demanded. “I’ve confronted him before and it certainly didn’t do any good. I’ve ignored it and let it run its course.” That hadn’t been easy, but Pace had been a teenager and Tori had been engrossed in keeping her stubborn, strong-willed daughter in line. The thought of confronting him now, when so much was at stake, went against all her instincts. “With the holidays around the corner and Colin gearing up for a fight…he needs to focus on re-election and me stirring things up with accusations and proof will only hamper his efforts.”
“Do you hear yourself? His needs, his efforts. God, Tori.” She threw her arms in the air. “I don’t know how to get through to you.”
“I also have Pace to think about.”
“Pace? Pace needs a mother with a backbone and a solid dose of self-respect, not some driveling fool who follows her husband blindly.” At Tori’s scathing look, Caroline changed her tactics. “Look at how you raised her. She’s strong and independent. God knows she’s better adjusted than most of our kids. Look at Graham.” Her son’s drug use and stints in rehab were painful subjects. The fact that she’d brought it up made Tori realize just how determined Caro was to change her mind. “The holidays are the perfect time for Colin to see everything he’s risking with his foolish behavior. Tell him you know, tell him you’re leaving, and let him deal with Pace and the kids.”
“Stop badgering me,” Tori shouted. Caroline stepped back and her eyebrows shot beneath her bangs. They stared at each other as a car passed and a small v of geese flew overhead. “I know you’re only trying to help, but I have to think about this. Pace adores her father and lately she and I have been picking at each other like we did when she was a teenager. She’d probably turn the whole thing around on me.” She grabbed her foot and bent it back to stretch her thigh. She could feel every muscle in her body clenching. “This isn’t new to me—Heather is new, her age—but his cheating isn’t new. The only thing new is your pressure. Whatever I decide could affect the rest of my life. My life, Caro, not yours.”
“I know that. You’re right and I’m sorry.” Caroline clutched Tori’s arm and they started walking toward the Whitfield’s street. “I love you, Tori. You’ve always been there for me, through the best and worst of times. All the stuff with Graham. You were my rock. You’re so strong, so giving to the people you love. I’ve watched you prop that man up time and time again and he takes every bit you give him without ever giving anything back. I want to be a good friend to you and sitting back while he abuses you this way doesn’t feel right.”
Tori patted a hand over Caroline’s grip. She’d never had a better friend, but she absolutely couldn’t discuss this another minute longer. “You must love me to parade around in that get-up.” She eyed her hideous track suit.
Caroline bumped her hip playfully. “The tag is in my pocket. I’m taking it back. This exercise thing is for the birds.”
* * *
Jason called Friday afternoon from his office. He’d arrived back in Atlanta and had stopped by work for a few hours before heading to the house. To Pace’s dismay, he made sure to mention he’d be home in time to go to the Wilson’s party. She’d hoped to avoid it so they could talk and try to work things out. By the time he finally got home, the sitter had already arrived and they were spared an awkward reunion by the presence of a pimply faced fifteen-year-old.
The kids pitched a fit about Jason leaving again when he’d just gotten home and it didn’t help matters when Pace suggested they skip it. Jason insisted, for some unknown reason, and the kids only calmed down when the sitter pulled out a DVD they’d been dying to see and promised popcorn and soda. Jason went upstairs to change his clothes while Pace tried to get the DVD started on the new machine and microwaved the popcorn.
After another plea from Mitchell for Jason to stay, they left the boys in the den, their noses pressed against the window panes and walked the two blocks to the Wilson’s house in absolute silence. Pace kept waiting for Jason to say something about his trip, ask something about the week they’d spent without him, but he forged ahead. The only noise came from the passing cars, the sound of their shoes on the sidewalk, and the small puffs of air their breath made in the near forty-degree night. Jason looked everywhere—the darkened lawns and houses, the line of cars along the street—everywhere but at Pace.
“How was your trip?” she asked when it became clear he had no intention of talking.
“Good.” He didn’t glance at her but quickened his pace. So much for breaking the ice.
She’d replayed his phone call in her head a thousand times and considered herself the bigger person for letting it go. But she hadn’t really let it go. Was his client a woman? Was it someone he met while traveling? Or could it have been the hostess telling him his table was ready? No matter how she tried to dismiss it, she couldn’t stop wondering if he’d cheated on her while he’d been away.
Jason had said he’d be gone two or three days, but it took him five to return. Stop thinking about it and reach for him. Pace looked over. Jason’s hands were stuffed into the front pockets of his jeans, a new pair she’d gotten him for his birthday, and his face expressed bored indifference. Just as she reached her hand out for his arm, they rounded the Wilson’s drive and Jason disappeared inside the house to the hearty greeting of the men around a Friday night football game.
“Pace.” Her friend Kimmy approached as soon as she’d shed her coat and looked around. Kimmy wore a low cut wrap dress that showed off her boobs. Rumor had it she’d had surgery. Pace wondered if the rumor of her pregnancy was still going strong. “I love your outfit,” Kimmy said of her jeans and modest top. “I don’t know how you stay so tiny.”
“Metabolism, Kimmy. My mom’s always been a size four.” And as addicted to her thrice weekly runs as Pace was, or used to be before the drama of the pregnancy took all her energy. Regular exercise had always been the only thing she and her mom had agreed on. Pace helped herself to a cold beer from a cooler when it became apparent Jason wasn’t going to make her favorite mixed drink and deliver
it to her as he usually did.
When Kimmy leaned closer, Pace had a hard time not staring at her cleavage, poking out of her dress like two perfect snow globes. “Are you sure you should be drinking?” she asked in a whisper of her Mickey Mouse voice. The only thing that had saved Kimmy from coming across as a complete airhead had been her modest chest. Too late now.
Pace tried to look confused instead of offended. “What do you mean?”
“You know.” Kimmy pointed to her stomach. “The baby.”
Pace smiled indulgently and wished again Jason hadn’t insisted they come to the party. “I’m not pregnant.”
“Oh, well…” She seemed embarrassed. “Sherry said…”
Pace waved her hand in front of her face and laughed. “I told her I was doing research for a client. I should have known she’d head straight for the phone.” Ha, ha. If only she could laugh it all away.
After two beers and small talk with just about everyone from the neighborhood, everyone who now knew she wasn’t pregnant, Pace couldn’t wait to go home. She scanned the crowd for Jason and found him playing pool in the basement with some guys she’d never seen him hang out with before—a group of six who typically drank until they couldn’t stand and ended the night getting high.
Pete McAlister wrapped his arm around her shoulders when he caught her lingering in the doorway. His appreciation for single barrel scotch and beautiful women had gotten him into more than one fist fight at similar gatherings. “Well, now here’s the prettiest girl in the neighborhood.” He couldn’t have delivered a more inappropriate comment considering...the situation.
Pace smiled weakly and wiggled out of his grasp. “Jason, I’m ready to go home whenever you are.”
Jason leaned over the table and banked an impressive shot in the corner pocket. He’d taught her to play pool in college, in a dive bar her friends wouldn’t go near. Their outings to the pool hall were some of her favorite memories. She’d never forget the feel of his body around hers, the way his breath had tickled her ear and sent shivers down her spine, the outrageous bets they’d made once she’d gotten the hang of the game.
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