Lynda looked at her warily. “Yes, Loring’s a good school. They’ve adjusted to everything very well.”
Why was she talking to her? What did she hope to gain from reaching out? “Parkside’s the same. We lost some good teachers this year to the new school. Mrs. Brennon left.” Lynda stared at her like she was crazy, like she couldn’t care less that her daughter’s kindergarten teacher wasn’t teaching at the school her kids didn’t attend anymore. “Your girls look good, happy.”
“They are. We are.” Lynda turned her head to look her in the eye. Pace twisted her clasped hands in her lap. “It was a rough couple of years, but we’re doing better now.”
Pace smiled weakly. “I’m glad to hear it.”
“Mommy,” her youngest daughter interrupted. “Can we go over to the swing set?”
“Sure, sweetie. I’ll be right there.”
As her daughters ran off toward the two swings Dillon and Jack had abandoned, Pace felt the weight of Lynda’s stare. “Heard things haven’t been so good with you lately.” Pace felt the blood drain from her face and her hands began to shake in her lap. She stared at Lynda, looking for the sarcasm her comment should have been delivered with, but there wasn’t anything on her face that gave her away. Lynda shrugged. “I still keep in touch with a few of the old neighbors. Seems like you’re their latest victim.”
“Oh, I…” What could she say? It wasn’t like they were in the same boat. Lynda cheated on her husband and Pace hadn’t, but she felt a strange affinity with the woman who shared the bench with her, like she was the only person in the world who could sympathize with her current situation. “Things aren’t so good right now.”
Lynda glanced down at her journal, closed it, and looked around for her daughters. “People don’t understand what goes on in someone’s marriage. They think everybody’s biggest worry is what to have for dinner.” She peeked at Pace and whatever she saw on her face kept her talking. “I was lonely. He worked all the time and when he wasn’t working he was playing golf or out with the boys. It’s no excuse, but…Steve paid attention to me. We talked about stuff, he listened to what I had to say.” Lynda flashed a wicked grin. “He still does. Nobody understands what it’s like to fall in love, really in love, when you’re not in a position to do it. Leaving Ben wasn’t nearly as hard as dealing with the women in the neighborhood.”
Pace didn’t know what the bigger revelation was, that Lynda knew all about her marital problems or that dealing with the gossip had been harder than ending her marriage. “I’m glad you’re doing better, Lynda, but I…things are different for me. I didn’t cheat on Jason and I haven’t fallen in love with anyone. I still love my husband and want to be with him.”
Lynda laid a hand over Pace’s and looked at her like she was a naive fool. “It doesn’t make any difference to other people what you did, if you did it, or if you’re happier now. People you thought were your friends, thought would stand by you, use your life and your problems to be center stage for awhile…and it hurts.” She pulled her hand away and tucked her journal into a bag by her feet. “But trust me, when it’s all over, you’ll know who your real friends are.”
Pace heard the kids chant the end of practice cheer and stood up with Lynda. When she glanced back at the field, she saw two of her neighbors huddled together talking. When they noticed Pace watching, they looked away. Lynda’s gaze followed. “Good luck,” she said and walked away toward her girls and her new and improved life.
* * *
The puppy got out of the backyard occasionally and he’d been gone for awhile before Jason realized he hadn’t heard any barking or scratching at the door. When he went to investigate, he found the gate wide open. Shit. He grabbed the leash, told the kids to tell Mommy he’d gone to look for the dog and not to leave the house. On his second trip around the block, he saw Glen Early in his driveway, watering a bush that looked dead.
“Glen?” Jason watched the water arc from the hose to the driveway before Glen smiled and shut it off. “Cooper’s on the run again. Have you seen him?”
Glen ambled toward where Jason stood on the sidewalk. “No, but I’ve only been out here for a few minutes. How long’s he been gone?”
Jason scanned the street with his eyes. The sky was getting dark and the streetlights had just come on. There was no telling where Cooper had wandered off to. The kids would be frantic if he came home without the dog. “Not sure. If you see him, would you give me a shout?”
“No problem.” Jason turned to continue his search when he felt Glen’s hand on his arm. “Listen, Kelly.” Glen ducked his head and seemed embarrassed. “I heard about you and your wife. You need anything, just let me know.”
Jason couldn’t have been more shocked if Glen had sprayed him in the face with the hose that dangled by his side. He stared at Glen, completely thunderstruck. Glen looked at him, waited for some sort of response, but Jason couldn’t think of anything to say. After a brief nod Jason walked away.
What the fuck? How the hell did Glen Early know about their marriage problems? He stormed home, no longer bothering to look for the dog. Stupid dog wanted to wander around, let him figure out how to get home.
Cooper sat on the front porch when he got there, panting and wet up to his trunk. “Stupid dog.” Jason opened the door a crack to call the boys. “Guys!” They came running. “Cooper’s been in the creek. I need you guys to give him a bath. Go turn on the shower in Mommy and Daddy’s bathroom and I’ll carry him in.”
Once he’d gotten both boys and the dog in the shower and changed his shirt, Jason went in search of Pace. He found her in the laundry room, humming and folding clothes like June Cleaver. He said her name loudly, and she turned around, surprised, clutching a pair of Mitchell’s underwear to her chest.
“Jason, you scared me.”
“Glen Early just told me he was sorry about me and my wife.” Her already pale face lost all its color. “How the hell does Glen know we’re having problems?”
“I…” She let out a defeated sigh. “It’s around the neighborhood. Sherry told me everybody knows.”
“You told Sherry? Jesus, Pace, why don’t you just put it on a billboard?”
“I didn’t tell her. Her sister saw us leaving Dr. Falcon’s office and she put two-and-two together.”
Jason stared at his wife, pallid, withdrawn, guilty. “How does everybody know?”
“I don’t know.” She looked back at her neat stacks of laundry. One for her, one for him, one for Dillon, and one for Mitchell. She put the underwear on top of Mitchell’s pile and returned his stare. “It probably started at the Wilson’s party.”
He looked at her and he couldn’t believe what she’d implied. “You’re blaming me?”
“I’m not blaming anyone. I’m just trying to piece it together.”
“Great.” He banged his fist against the sink. “That’s just fucking great.”
Pace gave a startled gasp and blinked with surprise. She gripped the washer as she stepped back. He rarely cussed in front of her and he usually kept his explosive temper on simmer. “The boys are in the shower with Cooper. I’ll be back later.”
“Jason, wait. Please don’t go. We need to talk about this.”
He turned around and stared at her. She stood in the hallway, her arms crossed over her chest, and batted her big brown eyes. His little Tinker Bell. How could she stand everyone knowing their business? How could she seem so calm?
“Why doesn’t this bother you? How can you stand the fact that everyone is talking about us?”
“It does bother me, but I don’t know what to do about it. I asked Sherry not discuss it with anyone.”
“Sherry has the biggest mouth in the neighborhood!”
Her arms dropped to her sides and her hands balled into fists. “Jason, I don’t know how to stop the gossip any more than I know how to convince you I’ve been faithful.”
“So I guess I’m the one with the problem.” He whirled around and kicked the dog’s
squeaky toy across the kitchen on his way to the garage.
“Where are you going?”
He didn’t answer, grabbed his keys from the counter in the kitchen, and peeled out of the driveway. He headed west along a series of back roads that led into the less populated parts of town. Horse farms and pockets of wild, undeveloped land dotted the route. The temperature had dropped into the low fifties, but Jason kept the window down, hoping the cool, clean air would clear away his confusion.
He didn’t give a shit what people thought, but he knew that if everyone was talking about them, it would get back to the boys. He sure as hell didn’t want them to hear the gossip. He’d grown up listening to people whisper behind his back. “There’s that poor Kelly boy whose parents took off and left him.”
The gossip had come to a head in the sixth grade when big mouth Johnny Thompson thought it’d be funny to call him an orphan. Jason had shoved Johnny hard in the chest only to have the world’s biggest eighth grader slam his head into the edge of an open locker. He’d bled like a stuck pig, but somehow managed to land a punch along Johnny’s jaw before getting peeled apart by Mr. Stephens and sent to the principal’s office. Jason gripped the steering wheel with one hand and fingered the scar at his hairline with the other. The only good thing that came out of the ordeal had been the end of the whispers and a sympathy French kiss from Susan Littleby.
He hadn’t told anyone but Adam about their problems and Pace had told Amanda and now one of the biggest busybodies in the neighborhood. It felt like another betrayal. If she needed someone to talk to, wasn’t that why they were seeing Dr. Falcon? Why the hell was he shoveling out three hundred bucks a week?
Chapter 17
Jason stayed gone for hours. Pace heard the garage door raise and lower at one in the morning, but he never came upstairs. As she lay in the semi-darkness, the full moon casting weird shadows through the plantation shutters, she wondered if she should go find him, try to talk it out. What would she say? He was mad at her because people knew or thought they knew their private business, but she wasn’t to blame for that.
Pace had just started to not be so skeptical about their future, but after Thanksgiving with Trey and now the neighbors, she was back to wondering how they’d survive. She tossed and turned in bed and at three, she flipped back the covers and went downstairs. She was going for water, she told herself as she peeked into the open guest room door and saw the neatly made bed. She paused at the base of the stairs and glanced into the den. The TV was on with the volume down low and Jason sat in his chair, his feet crossed on the ottoman. He’d fallen asleep and his head hung half on his shoulder and half on his chest. His neck was going to kill him in the morning.
Pace walked silently over the carpet to stand before him and watch the gentle up and down of his chest. He looked so much like Dillon when he slept, his lips pouted, his hands folded over his chest. Oh, Jason, what’s happening to us? She didn’t want water, she didn’t want to go back upstairs and crawl into that damn empty bed. She just wanted to curl up next to him and lay her head on his chest, feel his breath on her skin. He slept a step away from where she stood and it felt like he was a million miles away. Pace pulled the throw from the back of the couch and gently placed it over him and cut off the TV. With one last look, she headed back upstairs because what she wanted really didn’t seem to matter anymore.
Her father called and asked Pace to meet him for lunch at the Ritz. It was something they used to do a lot, their father-daughter outings he’d called it, but they hadn’t made time for it in over a year. She instantly assumed her mother had put him up to it after the disastrous Thanksgiving dinner, but she never considered turning him down. Pace needed a good dose of fatherly love right now, especially since Jason was out-of-town again and barely speaking to her thanks to Glen Early.
Colin had arrived on time and sat at his regular table, tucked in a corner along the restaurant’s wall of windows and thick panel curtains. He was so handsome, her dad, even more so now that his hair was peppered with silver. He stood up as Pace approached the table, ushered the host away, and pulled her chair out himself.
“Sweetheart, I’m glad you could join me.” He kissed her cheek before taking his seat and straightening his tie. “I wasn’t sure you’d come with everything you’ve got going on right now.”
“I’d never turn you down, Daddy. You know that.”
“Well, I’d hoped not.” After the waiter left with their drink order, Colin turned to Pace, his expression grim. “Tell me what’s going on with you and Jason.” She felt stunned at his bluntness. Their conversations had always meandered from topic to topic, even when one of them had an agenda. She was about to say, “Nothing,” when he held up his hand to stop her. “Don’t tell me nothing because I have eyes, my darling daughter. You’re hurting.”
Oh, God. She wanted to crawl in his lap and cry all over his expensive suit, damn the restaurant diners and propriety. He must have seen the stricken look on her face because he covered her hand in his and patted it lightly before letting go.
“We’re…working through something, Daddy. It’s…complicated.”
He chuckled and took a sip of his water. “Yes, marriage is rather complicated, isn’t it?” He stared at Pace for a long moment before speaking. In that pause, she thought he was going to tell her something, some secret that would make it all okay, something that would lead her down the path of redemption with Jason. “Pace, honey, your mother and I are worried about you. We’ve always been so proud of you, making your way through life, forging ahead on your own. We want you to know that if you need us, if you need support—of any kind—we’re here for you. We don’t want you to feel like you don’t have options.”
Pace sat back in her chair and stared out the window. She watched cars creep along Lenox Road and a few people leave the mall across the street, but nothing registered but what her father had just implied. Her parents had endured the ups and downs of marriage for almost four decades. If she wasn’t mistaken, her father had just told her it was okay to leave her husband if she decided to—that not only was it an option, but one he would support. “I’m not sure I understand what you’re saying.”
“Sweetheart, you know we love Jason.”
The picture he’d begun to paint came into startlingly clear focus. And it was ugly. Pace was upset with her husband, but she sure didn’t want her parents to blame him. Their tenuous marriage might not withstand that kind of pressure. “I know you tolerate him, for my sake.”
“Honey…”
“Look, Dad, I love Jason. We’re going through something right now, something hard, but I have absolutely no intention of leaving him. None. If Mom wants to take this opportunity to push me in that direction, she’s going to be very disappointed.”
The waiter arrived with their food, Pace’s favorite crab cake sandwich with apple slaw, and she couldn’t have eaten if she’d had a gun to her head. Her father had no problem talking about divorce amid bites of his rare filet as if they were discussing the weather. “We’re not encouraging you to do anything. It was very clear at Thanksgiving that you’re not happy.” He blotted the corners of his mouth with his napkin and nodded to a passing patron. “As I was saying, you know we love Jason, but if he hurts you or makes you unhappy, we’re going to side with you, every time.”
Could Pace have alienated anyone else while she was at it? Her father’s only goal was to console her, to let her know he cared. “I’m sorry, Daddy. I didn’t mean to suggest an ill motive.” Her father loved her, offered his unconditional support as he’d always done, and she threw accusations in his face while he tried to soothe her. “I’ll be fine. We’ll be fine.”
“That’s all we want for you, Pace.”
They finished their meal in silence. She moved food around her plate and thought about the nose dive her life had taken. She was playing right into her mother’s hands. If she didn’t snap out of it and take control, she’d end up spending the rest of her days dodging
appropriate suitors from good families deemed worthy by her mother. She could actually envision her mother assigning points based on ex-wives, children, country club memberships, and board connections to the area’s finest private schools.
As Pace left the restaurant, through the luxurious lobby where she’d spent quite a bit of time in her youth, with her father at the table awaiting another appointment, she felt…exhausted. She was exhausted from worry, exhausted from half-truths and dimmed explanations. What Pace wanted, what she really wanted, was to crawl into bed with her husband, the man who promised to love her, who did love her despite his misgivings, the man whose pride was wounded and who was hurting as much as she was. When he got back from his trip, she was going to throw herself at him. She’d taunt and tease and badger and do whatever she had to do to get him into bed. They needed each other right now.
She’d thought her father could solve her problems, appease them with his understanding words and comfort, but the only person who could comfort her was Jason. She needed her husband more than ever.
* * *
Jason stopped by the office before heading home from the airport. It was late and he needed to get home; he’d been gone for three days, but was anxious to check his email and see if there was any word from the private detective who, according to Jason’s instructions, was supposed to trail Pace this week while he’d been gone.
After he logged onto the computer, he found a recent email from Frank DeAngelo containing a detailed description of Pace’s whereabouts and the people she’d encountered on each day of surveillance. Day one was pretty standard stuff: grocery store, dry cleaner, neighbor’s house. Day two was a meeting in Midtown with two people, a man and a woman. Jason’s fingers started to tingle as he clicked on the attached image, only to realize it was a work meeting when he saw Amanda and a man he sort of recognized from Pace’s old office. DeAngelo’s report stated the lunch lasted a little over an hour and it appeared to be some type of business transaction, with files passed around and Pace leaving alone. Day three she had lunch at the Ritz with an older man. DeAngelo reported they kissed and hugged when she arrived and then did a lot of hand patting. Son of a bitch. An older man couldn’t have been Trey, but who the hell could it have been? He clicked on the image and blew out a big breath when he recognized his father-in-law. The picture showed them in the Café, huddled together at an intimate table as if sharing gossip. Pace didn’t look particularly thrilled to be there, which seemed odd considering she worshiped the ground her father walked on. He checked the photo carefully, made sure Trey wasn’t lurking in the background, waiting for Pace to finish and lure her away to one of the hotel’s luxury suites. Trey was nowhere in sight and the report stated she left after forty-five minutes and went straight home.
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