She’d always believed if she acted like things were normal and healthy, things would be normal and healthy. Especially for Pace. But witnessing her daughter’s fragility after hearing the truth felt shaming. With much more that needed to be said, she cleared her throat and finished.
“He knows that I know and he tries hard to be discreet…or at least he did. It’s something I’ve come to accept about him, the same way women learn to live with their husband’s drinking or snoring. It doesn’t lessen what we have together or the people we are on our own.”
“Mom…”
“I don’t expect you to understand, Pace.”
“I don’t understand. What makes you think you don’t deserve a genuine love that doesn’t involve infidelity? I know it’s your choice…” She threw her hands on her hips and paused. “I’m sorry, Mom, but I can’t stand by and let him publically humiliate you like this. I won’t.”
“I know our marriage isn’t ideal,” Tori explained. “I know you think I should expect better and many times I have. But, every time I thought about leaving him, I realized I didn’t really want to. I do love him and, in his own way, he loves me, too. He’s never asked for a divorce, he’s always treated me with respect and kindness, and we want to be together for you.” But even as she said those things, even as she defended her husband, she wondered if they were true. Would she have done what she did if she wanted to stay with Colin? Or did she just want him to suffer?
“I’m thirty-five, Mom. If you want to leave him, you don’t have to consider me any longer.”
Tori attempted a weak smile. “If I were going to leave him, I’d have done it already.” That, she knew, was the most truthful thing she’d admitted.
“But…”
“Everything you’re dying to ask me I’ve already asked myself a thousand times over.”
“How do you know what I’m going to say?”
She ambled to where Pace stood ramrod straight and defiant and ran the back of her hand along Pace’s cheek. “You wear it all on your face, my dear child. You always have. I’m still here. I’m not at all happy about what we’re facing because of this, but we’ll face it.”
“You shouldn’t have to face this alone. Where is he?”
“Washington.” Tori thought back to their stilted conversation before dawn, his quiet admission and promise to come home as soon as possible. “He’s making arrangements to come home.”
“How can you stay with him? How can you face the throngs of people with your head held high? God, Mother, this must be killing you.”
It was killing her, but if she admitted it to Pace, she’d crumble. She had to be strong for her. This had been her choice. If that was all she had, for now, it had to be enough. “It’s not pleasant, but we’ll deal with it. We have to present a united front if he has any chance of keeping his seat.”
“His seat?” Pace swiped at the tears on her face. “This is your life, your marriage we’re talking about, not his job. Please, Mother, for once, can’t you put your life and your needs ahead of his?”
She knew her decision to stay would incite Pace’s anger, cause her to lose sight of the bigger picture. Tori had reconciled her role in Colin’s affair as it played out in the media and had decided to let things unfold as they must. “In many ways, his job is our life. Everything he’s done, everything we’ve been able to accomplish, is because of his position. He’s a good man. He has flaws, like everyone. I’m not in this blind, Pace. I had a choice and I made it.” She tried to convince Pace she’d made up her mind, but she still wasn’t sure. “I don’t want this to change the way you feel about your father. He’s a good man and has been an excellent father to you.”
“I don’t think I can forgive him for this. I don’t think I want to.”
Tori gripped her shoulders and squeezed gently. “It’s not your place to forgive him. He’s your father. He didn’t do this to you.”
Pace shook her head in disbelief. “He’s done it to all of us.”
* * *
Jason was so nervous he felt nauseous as he stared at his reflection in the airplane bathroom. He looked like shit, with a decidedly green pallor that could have been him or just the lighting. Considering all he’d eaten that day was a pack of crackers and a Coke, it was no wonder he seemed a little unsteady on his feet. Why did he want to go out on his own again? He tried to focus on having the freedom to design as he pleased as the plane jerked to a stop in the snowy weather. As he maneuvered his carry on around a man in a wheelchair along the crowded terminal walkway, he tried to think about taking on projects that interested him—this project for starters—instead of manufacturing cookie cutter buildings with no character.
There were people everywhere, most appeared to be heading out of town on vacation, skiing or to some warm Caribbean island, or maybe home to be with Grandma for the holidays. Everyone looked happy except for the business travelers like him, traipsing from state to state while the rest of the country settled in for Santa’s arrival.
He was going to have to do this anyway, approach Bisbain about coming with him, trusting him with their business. Trust. Hadn’t he spent the night before and the morning trying to convince his wife that he was trustworthy? Was her doubt rubbing off and making his meeting harder to face than it normally should’ve been? Stop thinking the worst. There was nothing he could do to change what went on at home, but there sure as hell was something he could do to make sure his family was taken care of in the future. Pace believed in him, in his work, in what he could do. She understood why he was there, she knew he’d be back. She knew he loved her. He hoped it was enough.
He’d stopped at a newsstand and waited in line to pay for a pack of gum when he glanced at the television mounted along the back wall. The news was on, CNN or some other twenty-four-hour cable channel. The girl on the screen was talking about the weather. It had been an unusually cold fall and winter along the east coast and yet another storm was brewing over the great lakes that seemed determined to hinder his flight home. Perfect, Jason thought as the man in front of him collected his change and walked away. He didn’t need to get stuck in New York City over Christmas. He stepped forward and put the gum on the counter. He thought he heard the name Colin Whitfield come from the news announcer’s mouth. He passed over a five dollar bill and had his hand outstretched for his change when he looked back up at the TV and saw a picture of his father-in-law.
“Sir?” The girl at the counter asked as he ignored her question and pushed through two women looking at magazines to get closer to the television. “Sir, do you want your change?”
Jason stood under the television, as close as he could possibly get, and tried desperately to hear what was being said over the counter girl’s shouting and the noise from the tiny store. Before he was able to figure out what had happened, if it was anything other than some bill Colin had proposed or some stance he’d taken on something, the announcer moved to a story about the presidential dog. Damn it. Every time Colin’s name was mentioned, Jason freaked out and assumed the pictures had leaked.
He stepped out into the terminal and glanced around. He knew he should find a bar or go back to the gate and find a television—they were everywhere back there, but if he was going to make his meeting on time, he had to move on toward baggage claim and find his driver. Just as he stepped off the escalator and reached for his phone to call Pace, he saw a driver waiting with his name on a cheap piece of copy paper.
“Mr. Kelly?” A beefy black man in a loose fitted suit smiled widely when Jason nodded. Jason followed the driver out into the wet snow.
He slid into the back of a Ford crown car and was whisked away toward Manhattan. He’d made arrangements to meet Mark and his partner, Steve, for a late lunch and drinks at a restaurant in the city. Mark had mentioned it was one of their favorites and Jason thought the gesture might help sway their decision to stay with his new firm. He’d have done just about anything short of breaking the law to make a favorable impression. H
e’d drawn up a business prospectus and had the latest designs in a proposal package. Whatever their decision, they wouldn’t walk away because he hadn’t been thorough. In fact, Jason planned to use the individual attention their project would receive as a big selling point.
He’d have been lying if he didn’t admit part of the reason he wanted to meet in the city was to avoid seeing Deborah. After everything he and Pace had discussed, he wasn’t so sure he’d be able to be cordial to her without letting on about the problems she’d caused in his marriage. Her stupidly inappropriate, yet completely harmless comments had snowballed into yet another notch in his undoing.
Jason pulled his Blackberry out of his case. He thought he should be able to track Pace down before he got to the restaurant, but hesitated before connecting and looked out the window. If something had happened with her father, did he really need that hanging over his head while he tried to convince a very important potential client to follow him as he opened his own firm? He was already a bundle of nerves. Did he really want guilt at what may or may not have been going on at home to join him at the table like an unwanted guest? Even the guilt he felt for not calling to see what was going on made him feel guilty. He couldn’t handle any more guilt!
He was about to tuck the phone back into his case and watch the sea of concrete buildings outside the dirty window when he realized what a stupid move that would be. If the shit had hit the fan, Pace would need him. He dialed her number and, of course, she didn’t answer. It would have been easier to dismantle a ticking bomb than to locate her phone in the cavern she called her purse. He hung up without leaving a message and figured she’d call if something had happened.
He looked out the window as a distraction and tried to get his bearings on the way into town, but found it impossible. He could have been close to his brother’s office in the financial district or miles away. He wondered if Adam had had any success winning Lydia back and what he’d have to say about everything Jason had done in the past month. He’d probably shake his head and say “I told you so.” As the car pulled up to the restaurant and Jason stepped out with his case in a death grip by his side, he felt ready to plead his case to Bisbain Mellon. Because going home with another failure on his back was out of the question.
Chapter 28
Leaving her mother’s house took twice as long as it had taken to get in because there were even more news trucks around the property. In this day and age, Pace didn’t think a cheating senator would garner so much attention. Perhaps it was his position as chairman of the Ethics Committee or his image as a true southern gentleman. Either way, she realized she’d been wrong on all counts as far as her father was concerned. “Right is right, Pace,” she remembered him saying when she was a teenager and she’d begged him to get her tickets to the sold out REM concert. “If I used my influence to get you tickets, I wouldn’t be setting a very good example, now would I?” What a joke.
As Pace inched around a news van and punched on the gas, she couldn’t get her mom’s last words out of her head. “Your father needs your support now, Pace. Don’t turn your back on him when he needs you the most.”
How in the world could her mother shove her own personal hell to the background and put his needs before hers after everything he’d put her through? He’d cheated on her for years—decades! Her parents were not the people she’d thought they were. Pace had wanted to stay and argue, try to talk some sense into her stubborn mother, but she had to go home and collect the boys. What was she going to say to them? How was she going to explain what had happened to them or would she be able to shield them from their grandfather’s mistake?
As the anger began to recede and Pace was left with a numb acceptance of what her father had done, she wanted to talk to Jason more than anything. She fished her cell phone out of her bag and realized he’d called her hours ago. He must have heard, but he didn’t leave a message. Pace needed to talk to him without trying to dodge the boys and, with no school for the next three weeks, their bedtimes were a very long way off. So she dialed and hoped she could catch him while she was in the car and he wasn’t in the middle of his meeting. Her call went straight to voicemail. She drove the rest of the way home clutching the phone like a crack addict with an empty pipe. She knew his meeting was important—hell, it was vital to his future, to their future, but she needed him now more than ever.
* * *
Tori heard a tentative knock on the door and then Mylia—the new staff member whose name she finally remembered—began speaking to her, telling her there was a call from Caroline. She’d been in Denver with Bethany and baby Chloe and Tori hadn’t spoken to her in over a week. When she picked up the phone, Caroline sounded exhausted.
“Tori? You’re harder to get in touch with than God. Wait,” she sighed. “Let me start over. I just turned on the news. How are you?”
“Well…” She wasn’t sure how to answer because she really didn’t know how she felt. She thought she could handle Colin’s public ruination. She’d told Pace they had to stand firm behind Colin, but now that Pace had left, she realized how ridiculous that sounded considering everything. “I’ve been better.”
“What in the hell happened? How did the pictures leak?”
“They’re reporting an anonymous source close to the campaign. Which means we’ll never know.” Thank God.
“How are you holding up? Is the press swarming?”
“Of course they are. You should see them, Caro. They’re around the block as far as the eye can see.”
“Where’s Colin?”
Tori could hear the sound of a newborn in the background and some gentle shushing. “Oh, Caro. How is Chloe?”
“Beautiful.” Even through the phone line she could tell Caroline beamed. “I’ll email you some pictures. You forget how tiny they are.”
“And Bethany?”
“She’s a trouper. I tell you, Tori, they kick you out of the hospital as soon as they get you cleaned up, it seems. Nothing like when we had our babies. She’s exhausted, hell, we all are, but she’s doing great. Third time for her, so I guess she’s used to the chaos.”
“Give her my best.”
“I will, but I didn’t call to talk about the baby. I want to know where Colin is and what you’re going to do.”
“He’s in Washington.” Tori thought again of their conversation that morning, after she’d spotted the first report. It had taken him twenty-three minutes to call. He’d sounded…embarrassed and ashamed, but more under the gun than anything. “He’ll be home as soon as he can.”
“Did he admit it?” Caroline asked. “Offer an explanation?”
“He didn’t have time. As bad as it is here with the press, I think they’ve ambushed him. He sounded a little stressed out.”
“When he comes back in the house, it better be on his hands and knees.”
Tori smiled at the image of him crawling, begging her forgiveness. “We both know him better than that. He thinks I don’t know about the others—the ones in between. To him, this is a slip after years of fidelity.”
“Did you tell him you knew?”
“We haven’t talked since this morning. We’ll get into all that when he gets home.”
“I wish I was there for you. You know I’d be there if I could.”
It was probably best that Caroline wasn’t around. Tori had started this mess on her own and she needed to finish it on her own. “Of course I know. You give that baby a big kiss from me and enjoy your grandchildren. I’ll call you if I need you.”
She hung up and glanced out the window. The press looked like they weren’t going anywhere anytime soon. She needed to plan her next move.
* * *
The sun had gone down in New York and it had begun to snow. Jason was pleased with the meeting so far. Mark Bisbain and Steve Mellon sat across the four top table laughing at a story Jason had just told. They’d seen the prospectus, done a lot of head bobbing between the array of questions and scenarios they’d thrown at hi
m since they’d sat down almost—Jason peeked at his watch—two hours ago, and he thought things were going about as well as he could have expected. Better than he’d dreamed, as a matter of fact. They’d just sent the waitress back to the bar for another round of drinks when Jason felt his cell phone vibrate inside his case when he leaned his leg against it. He reached down and noticed that he’d missed three calls from Pace.
“Excuse me, guys…” Jason threw his napkin to the table and stood up. “I’ve got to return a quick call. I’ll be right back.”
They waved him away and he weaved through the happy-hour crowd, out the front door, and into the cold night. He’d dialed Pace even before he reached the door.
“Jason?” Her voice sounded weird and very hard to hear on the busy New York street.
“I’m sorry I didn’t call sooner, honey, I’ve been with the Bisbain guys since I landed. What’s going on?”
“Somebody leaked the pictures, Jason. My dad’s all over the news.”
And just like that, his little balloon of optimism popped. “The pictures are out? Where?”
She let out a biting laugh. “Everywhere. I can’t believe you haven’t heard.”
“Jesus.” Jason rubbed his forehead and waited for the sound of a siren to pass. “How’s your mom?”
“She knew. Jason, she’s known for years.”
As he stood on the street, people passing quickly with their heads ducked against the bitter wind and falling snow, Jason realized Pace was quietly crying because her whole world had fallen apart.
“I’m coming home, baby. I’ll catch the next flight out.”
Misconception Page 24