As he walked down the hall towards the lab, he could hear the demonstrations ringing through the courtyard. The quiet, academic atmosphere of the halls had been turned into a circus of screams and chants. Mark just quietly walked, undisturbed, thinking only of Gabriela.
He explored the possibilities with the same approach he would take to his mathematical equations. With playful excitement, he even imagined some enhancements that involved changing his temperature at appropriate moments and adjusting his size during the act. He had even discovered that he had the ability to create subtle vibrations and independent circular movements within his penis. He had formulated this idea after reading of Japanese vibrators that had become very popular in Kyoto. What he could not calculate was the intensity of his emotions, and how this would affect the situation. Emotion was something he could not reference, something he could not quantify. The thought of her in his arms filled him, but he feared losing control.
Mark knew that the note about the sunglasses was a ruse. Well, they were just Ray-Ban’s. I’ll pick up a pair and call her. I’m glad I vowed not to read her thoughts. This is fun. I’ll swing by the drug store on Second Avenue.
With the new sunglasses in hand, and assured of a rendezvous, he found a pay phone on the corner and dialed.
“Hello?”
When he heard her voice, his anxieties fell away.
“Hello, Gabriela, it’s Mark.”
“Oh, hi Mark! I was hoping you would call soon! Did you find those sunglasses?” She thought, what a nice voice he has.
“I feel the same,” answered Mark, impetuously. He could hear her catch her breath on the other end of the line, and, realizing he had unconsciously responded to reading her thoughts, he hesitated. “I mean, yes. I have them.”
Gabriela, not understanding what he had meant, smiled to herself as she gazed at her sunglasses on the table, charmed that he would go to such lengths to continue her ruse. “Well, do you want to meet?”
“Yes, of course. We could meet today if you’d like. I would love to see you again,” he responded.
Without a thought, Gabriela asked, “Shall I come by your place?”
Mark was taken aback. He had not expected this; no one ever came to his apartment, and even though he’d spent his day thinking over the scenarios resulting from time alone with her, he knew that it could never be at his apartment.
Thinking quickly, he suggested, “How about we meet in the middle? What do you think about the Algonquin Hotel on 59th Street? We can make our own little ‘vicious circle,’ and you can play Dorothy Parker.”
Gabriela paused and felt a little rejected. She knew that she had been aggressive, but then, he did say the word “hotel.” Still, she worried that she might have frightened him with her directness. I’ll take it slow. “Well I really don’t feel very vicious when I’m around you. How about the Palm Court at the Plaza? I’m feeling decadent today. We can do afternoon tea. What do you say? You know my publisher just gave me a perk of unlimited limousine service for a month, so I can run around and promote my book. I would love to pull up to The Plaza in a limo. I would feel so ‘Gatsby!’”
“Okay then, The Plaza, let’s say at 4. I’ll do my best to look respectable,” said Mark.
“Okay, see you then.”
Mark did not have a jacket or tie, so he stopped into a second-hand store on East 6th Street and picked up a corduroy sport coat from the rack. The sales girl picked out his tie. He looked in the mirror. The sales girl smiled. He knew it was acceptable. He looked like a typical student on a budget.
Mark arrived early and was impressed with the grandeur of the lobby. A doorman directed him to the Palm Court. As he entered the main hall and viewed the court, he thought, this room could be in a Tolstoy novel.
He walked to the entrance of the dining area, and a tailored man in a uniform addressed him. “Do you have a reservation, sir?” He sensed condescension in his voice.
“Well,” responded Mark, “I’m not sure. It would be under Gabriela Bolinsky, or maybe Gabriela Velázquez, if there is one.”
“Oh,” he answered. “You’re Gabriela’s guest… Right this way, sir.”
Just then, he heard Gabriela behind him.
“André… André, not a table in the center of the room! Let’s be someplace a little more private.”
“Whatever you prefer, Madame,” the maître d’ responded politely, and led them to a table near the rear of the room.
“Very nice, André,” said Gabriela, as she slipped a few dollars into his hand.
“Now, don’t concern yourself with the prices, Mark. This is my treat. I just got a fat royalty check from my book, and I feel very grand. Oh, let me tell you how wonderful it was to pull up to the entrance in that limo… what a gas! Wait till you see it. It is so big in there you could have a dinner party… I am definitely taking you home in it.”
Mark smiled. Gabriela’s giddiness was charming.
“I’m so high on the excitement over my book. I just left the publisher’s office; he had a critic from the Times there. Everyone thinks it is going to be huge. So please don’t think I’m silly. The publisher is making such a push… Can you believe that so many people could get excited about a biography of Baudelaire?”
“Yes, I could. Especially yours.”
Gabriela was wearing a blue chiffon dress; her long, dark hair pulled to one side by an emerald clip. Shiny high heel shoes and dark stockings finished the look. On some women, her outfit might have appeared overdone, but on Gabriela, it was perfect. Mark was entranced by her sophistication. Gabriela’s elegance was but a complement to her mind. Even in her most giddy moments, her words could have the wit of Simone de Beauvoir and the music of Maupassant. She was enchanting.
Mark spoke up, “You look absolutely stunning, but that takes little effort for you, I’m sure; you would be ravishing in a potato sack.”
“Please, Mark. This took a lot of trouble. Please appreciate that,” she retorted.
“I do, I do! I just mean to say…”
“I know,” she responded. “Forgive my playfulness… You have a strange effect on me, Mark, you know. So, let’s order, before I get sillier than I already feel. What would you like? I’m having the deviled quail eggs and a smoked salmon sandwich. You’re a vegetarian, right? The cucumber sandwiches are fabulous here! If you trust me, we should end with the lemon tea cakes; they are to die for!”
“It all sounds good to me! I’ll defer to your judgment. Oh, here are your sunglasses,” he said handing them to her.
“Thank you, darling. It was sweet of you not to forget them.” She noticed that they were brand new. “And we should have some good Earl Grey to wash it all down,” she continued without taking a breath. Motioning to the waiter, she gave an order for the refreshments.
“What do you think of this place? I am absolutely in love with it. I feel like I am still in Europe when I come here, the Europe of fifty years ago when words were cherished and romance thrived.”
“And the great flu pandemic consumed the earth,” replied Mark.
“Oh Mark, there is that dark side again.” She smiled, “Please, we should be grand and beautiful today. I feel… well, this friendship of ours could be an adventure. I hope I’m not wrong.”
Breaking his promise to himself, he entered her mind. Reading past her pander, he felt the sincerity as he explored her emotions. This could be good, very, very good. “I’ve always been the cautious type, but you’ve made me want to change that, Gabriela.”
Two hours had passed, but between the wit and the accidental touching of fingers, it seemed to them they’d only just sat down. They ate slowly, relishing the meal. Finishing with tea and lemon cakes, it was a delightful afternoon by anyone’s standards.
“Mark, you’ve made me feel alive again these past few days, like I’ve been living in a French poem.” She paused. “I am not sure what or why, but I feel it’s right.”
“I know. I don’t understand all of this, or
what I am doing, but, I feel it’s right too.”
“You know, I am half French,” she lowered her voice to a whisper, “affairs come naturally to us.”
“Oh.” He laughed, feeling uneasy. “Well, I am also from a foreign place where we don’t really take earthly rules too seriously, but I am very serious about how I feel about you.” He looked into her eyes; they hid nothing. “It is very complicated; I mean… I am not clear about any of this except what I feel about you.” She returned the gaze and grinned, unclear of what he was talking about. She was on the verge of asking where exactly that place was when she thought, who cares where he is from? “Let’s leave together,” she suggested, secretly wishing she could just order a room at the desk but realizing such an idea was running ahead. She switched her tone to a neutral cadence and did her best not to act like a cat ready to pounce.
“I am afraid I am going to have to be back uptown in an hour… Let me take you home in the limousine. You will love it…”
As they got up, Gabriela took hold of Mark’s arm, he didn’t resist, they started to walk, she leaned into him. “Mark, I feel like I am in a dream being here with you. Isn’t this place so grand.” She grasped his arm tighter as they walked. “I am really, really, happy.”
“Me too. I have never felt like this. I am trying to keep control, yet I don’t know why…”
She responded, “Then why try? Wait till you see my limo! You are going to die!”
They walked to the curb and signaled the waiting limousine. Gabriela got in first as Mark held the door. He entered and gave the driver his address. Gabriella leaned forward. “Please raise the window; we need to have a private conversation.”
She drew the inside curtains. Mark took note that the darkened windows and the isolation of the driver had given them absolute privacy. He knew he could render them both invisible to prying eyes if he chose, but he did not feel the need.
They sat back in the roomy seat, and Gabriela opened the mini-bar. She pulled out a serving size of Bourbon.
“One of the great gifts of America!” she said. “If the French only knew how good this stuff is, they would seldom drink Cognac.”
“I’ve never had any,” he answered.
“You don’t indulge much, do you? Do you have any vices? I know your virtues.” She smiled, pulling the last curtain closed. The limo was quiet; the streets disappeared. She put a cassette in the stereo. “Do you like Billie Holiday? I love her.” The Bourbon turned her insides warm. “How about me? Can I become your weakness?”
“I think you already are, Gabriela,” he said softly, leaning closer.
“I hope so. I am not one to let go of what I start.”
He wanted to touch her lips. He moved towards her but hesitated. She did not. She moved her lips to his. At that second, Mark thought of all the hours of anticipation he had in his life waiting for this touch, all the analyzing and calculating, and now it was here.
Gabriela pulled him towards her.
“Kiss me. I won’t bite, well not much anyway.” Her lips revealed a mischievous smile.
Mark’s kissed her. He pulled her close, and then without even being conscious of the fact, his hand reached under her dress, touching the silk beneath. His fingers reached up her back and unhooked her bra, touching a woman’s flesh for the first time. He explored the softness of her skin, the mystery of her breasts, and thought, am I really doing this?
Gabriela unbuttoned his pants and reached inside to find him. She smiled, “Don’t be nervous; no one can see us.” Quickly, she felt him swell in her hand. “Oh, what is this…?”
Her head searched down into his lap and she took him into her mouth.
Mark fell back into the seat; he had never felt the tenderness of lips, the warm moist touch of a woman’s tongue. His mind went blank.
“So, my mysterious foreign student, what do you think? Are we going to have something together? Are we going to be lovers?” she whispered.
“Yes, I think there is no choice now,” he replied. But then his unease returned and his body suddenly stiffened. “Are you sure we should do this here?”
She sensed his shyness. “I have so much more to give you, Mark. I have no doubts about you. But I agree; not here. Not now. I am going to make you wait a bit for more.”
Her confidence brought him calmness. He answered her with a soft kiss, but now she was the one to resist. She continued, “I want more time with you. We should find a really beautiful place and take our time.”
As Mark’s lips met hers in agreement, her words relieved him from the pressure of the moment, and then without warning the warmth of her mouth again found his firmness. Her desire left him wanting nothing.
He wanted her to continue forever, to drive him deeply into a void, to open him to a world of possibility he had never imagined, but then he thought, she was right; they should wait. The fear of losing control overwhelmed him. He was afraid of such pleasure; could he really be allowed this? These thoughts ripped into his psyche as he fell more and more into her allure. He wanted her to tear him apart and let in what he never knew, but he pulled her back to his lips.
“I do want you, Gabriela. More than anything I have ever wanted, I want you.”
“I want you, too, Mark,” she said. “I have lost all sense of myself now. I don’t know what has made me so crazy. I’m really not like this. So, aggressive I mean. It’s only that… I’m…” He felt her uneasiness.
He wondered if the effect of his nature would overpower any human he desired even without his willing it. He looked into her eyes and saw her want; there was no hesitation in her. He needed to believe that this was special, that they were special. Just then, rain pounded against the windows, and the sound of whooshing cars splashed over the wet pavement. People bracing against the wind struggled across the avenue. The figures filled the window’s view with their hurried determination, and Mark unexpectedly, but surely, found what he sought.
“I know, I know. You don’t have to say it,” he said.
“This is crazy Mark, but let’s keep this going.”
Mark pulled her close and found her lips again. “I cannot tell you I understand all of what is happening, but this is right. I’m sure it is.”
The limousine crossed 14th Street and was heading down Second Avenue. The rain stopped.
“We’re almost to your place,” she said. “The driver made good time.”
“I’ll get out at 2nd and St. Marks, I want to walk a bit.”
Gabriela knocked on the window, and it rolled down. “Stop at 2nd and St. Marks, please.” The driver nodded in recognition.
“See, even the sky is excited.” She smiled.
The car stopped at the corner. After he had stepped out onto the pavement, he looked through the open window. He reached in and touched Gabriela’s hand. “I don’t know why, but I know this will be good.”
She nodded.
As Mark walked back to the apartment, he thought about how he would share all of this with Jason. I must make him see. I don’t care what he thinks; this is too wonderful to be wrong.
Maybe thousands of years ago, my kind felt such things, or… Maybe my kind has never felt as I am feeling now. Yet somehow, he sensed the applause of an entire planet.
As Mark opened the apartment door, Jason started to appear, but instead of passing quickly, he paused, hovering and staring. He lingered. Fascinated, he wanted to absorb every detail, every nuance before Mark faded into the portal.
Chapter 16: Gabriela’s Dream
I don’t know what will happen, and I don’t care. All I know is I have to have him! I’m in love! In love! I’m giggling and silly, I’m in love! And he loves me, too! I know it!
The next morning, when Gabriela awoke, her thoughts were only of him.
Who shall I tell first? I cannot wait to tell someone… No, no, don’t be crazy! You tell no one! Well, maybe Mama, but no one else. Can you imagine the talk? Oh my God, I could just hear it… All those old betties in the
faculty lunchroom. My God. What a nightmare! So just be cool… And keep your mouth shut!
But I love him so… Could we ever really be together? Is that too much to dream of? Why couldn’t we? I still look very good. Maybe it won’t last forever, but who cares.
I had such a vivid dream last night! It felt so real, but this all seems like I’m dreaming. I’m going to tell Mama all about that too. We were in Mallorca, in a hotel on the beach. He was perfect, sweet and kind. I see it clearly; we ate in a little café by the sea and then walked along the beach. Later we went back to the room. I held him next to me, he touched me, and we started making crazy love… It was wonderful. He was kissing me madly all over. I was just melting away. We made love again, over and over. I can’t tell her all of that! But it was so nice, waking up next to him, looking into his eyes… I can tell her that much! What a dream! If it could only be… I cannot wait to see him again. Oh, I hope he feels the same.
I’ll write him another note.
Chapter 17: A Night of Pleasure & Pain
When Jason passed Mark, he was captured by his experience. He did not feel Mark’s need to delve into the world of human love, yet he had to admit to himself that some of what Mark had communicated was fascinating.
Jason had always been the impulsive one. He had experienced many pleasures here, as well as anger and disgust. He had sought excitement, especially when it came to the arts. But he never wanted anything like what Mark was seeking. How could humans be worthy of such considerations?
Mark’s actions are perplexing. Jason buckled his chain bracelet and picked up his rings. Should I reconsider? Maybe there is more to understand… more to see? It is true that I admire some of their art, especially their music. Music, what a beautiful word! It is derived from the Greek word ‘muse,’ a being who inspires…
Mark perceives things differently than I do. He seems to need something I don’t. Is he right in continuing to pursue these newly found feelings? These emotions, this caring?
Soteria- The Crisis Forge Page 9