“Agreed, but that may have to wait a bit. Gabriela has been asking me to call her. I can sense her yearning for me.”
Jason looked at his brother, speaking sternly. “Listen, Mark, I stood Angela up last night, and this Saya girl I just found again has completely captivated me, but we have to put our pleasures and their needs aside for now. We cannot allow ourselves to be distracted. Our mission is too important.”
“Just a quick call, Jason, I promise. What harm would come of it? There’s a phone booth up the street. I understand not talking in the apartment, but out here, what would be the risk?”
“Okay. Okay.” relented Jason. “But make it fast.” He was warming to the idea of Mark’s feelings for Gabriela. Humanity’s imperfections looked better to him since he had met Saya.
Mark stopped at the booth, put a coin in the slot, and dialed. “It’s Mark, Gabriela, how are you?”
“Oh, Mark, I have been worried about you. How are you? Are you okay? I have had all these terrible thoughts that you were troubled. I really miss you. I need to see you. My mind has been running in crazy ways lately. I am so unhappy in my marriage, and I think about you all the time. You’re okay, aren’t you? I’ve been…”
“Yes, Gabriela, I’m okay, but you are not letting me get a word in. I’m fine, but please listen a minute… There are some things I have to do right now. They are taking a lot of my concentration and energy, and I need a little time.”
“Time? What do you mean, time? I want to be with you. I want to leave George and be with you, Mark. I need you.”
“Gabriela, please. I must stay focused. You must remember that I am here to do… things. I have told you that your planet is in danger. Would you have me abandon my purpose for a night with you? You must understand, Gabriela.”
“Focus? What do you mean, focus? Are you breaking up with me? You’ve found someone else, haven’t you? I feel it. Of course, you’ve found someone else. Oh, God. Tell me I’m wrong. Have you found someone else? I couldn’t bear that, Mark. I would die if you broke up with me.”
Mark wondered if he had somehow communicated to Gabriela his flirtation with Helena. No, that is not possible, he reassured himself. She has no way of seeing my mind.
“Gabriela, I’m not breaking up with you. I am always thinking about you. I was just seeing you in my mind, laying on the beach, listening to the waves, the sun on your face, your hair all tangled and messy. Gabriela, you make me feel whole, loved. But you have to let me do what I am meant to do. It is more important than us.”
“Not being with you is making me crazy. I’m screaming inside, and then the next minute, I feel like I’m going to disappear, evaporate. I feel so alone now,” She paused. “I need you, Mark… I’ve become obsessed with the thought of us being together. When can I see you? I am so frightened that you are in danger.”
“I’m okay, Gabriela. I will be able to see you soon. But I have to go. I’ll call you again when I can. I promise.” Mark could hear Gabriela’s tears over the phone.
“Okay, Mark. Okay… Call me when you can. I love you.”
He paused. “I’ll see you soon.”
When Mark stepped out of the phone booth, Jason looked him over. “So how did it go? It looks like it could have gone better.”
“It’s complicated,” Mark responded. “This is difficult for her. She is in love with me and believes I am what’s missing in her life. She thinks I am the answer to her failed marriage. I care for her deeply, but…” He paused. “I want to maintain this relationship as if I were human. I don’t want to use my power to control things. But it is not easy; the very qualities that make humans glorious also make them incredibly difficult and illogical.”
“It appears that managing a relationship in the way you desire takes a developed skill set which we have yet to master,” Jason replied with a wink. “You do seem to be learning, though. I thought you did very well in fact. But, you know, I think you should really consider Helena. She couldn’t be more trouble than the one you are seeing.”
“Jason, you really just don’t get it. I truly care for Gabriela.”
“Yes, I know,” he responded casually, “but she seems to be giving you an awful lot of stress. You should try Helena.”
Mark looked at Jason and shook his head. “You just don’t understand. Jason, it is not that simple for me. It’s what drove me to Dr. Abernathy. They are not fruit in a basket, toys to play with. We will never understand what it is to feel completely human by running away from feelings.”
Mark then paused for a moment to think of Helena, her beautiful body up on the stage singing and flowing with the music. Then he returned to his point. “Abernathy has been helpful. I will talk with him more about feelings, love, attractions and such. But it’ll have to wait for another time. I have a long way to go in understanding emotions, and these humans are unpredictable. Gabriela reads so much about love. She is quite the authority, academically at least.” He smiled. “Emotions are a strange experience, wrenching in fact, but they are, well, joyous. Jason, are you listening to me?”
“Yes, yes, I’m listening, but these humans spend most of their time either chasing things or running away from them. It’s actually one of their most charming qualities, annoying but charming. We’d better get moving, it’s getting late. We don’t want to keep Abernathy waiting.”
“You’re right. Have you been thinking about what we are going to ask him?”
“Well…neither of us believes the Council has been honest with us. I’m hoping he can give us some insight, as we will have to be most artful when we talk to them. We need to be respectful, but not submissive; confident, but not arrogant. If they are sending us wantonly to our doom, we will know it.”
“Jason, if we are doomed…” Mark paused.
“So then,” responded Jason. “What are we going to discuss? My hope would be to open a dialogue with them.”
“Are we going to negotiate with them, Jason? No, we are going to do what they say. They have all the power. What could we possibly demand? All I am hoping for is reassurance of some type, some promise of good faith that they will do all they can to protect us. After all, we are one of them. Right?”
“I really don’t know what to expect, perhaps just the whole story. We deserve at least that. And I think we may be in a better position than we realize. Whatever we were sent here to accomplish, they want us to take seriously, and I am sure they are reaping more from this planet than we know.”
“Mark, look! There’s a florist. You promised Martha a bouquet.”
“We’ll take three dozen roses!” Mark said to the owner of the shop. “Three dozen of your best.”
Chapter 36: Abernathy’s Advice
They entered the psychiatrist’s office and saw Martha’s familiar face. “Hello Martha,” said Mark. “These are for you. Thank you so much for your help!” He handed her the enormous bouquet.
“How nice of you, Mark! This must be your brother.”
“Yes, this is Jason. He has already met the doctor.”
“He has? Hmmm, well, let me tell him you both are here.” She pushed the intercom and said, “Your next appointment is here.” A quick, “Thank you, just give me a minute,” was heard in response.
“Thank you again for the flowers, Mark,” she said, smiling sweetly as they passed her. “They’re beautiful!”
Mark had never seen her smile. “It’s my pleasure, Martha, really.”
“Your brother is very nice-looking,” she whispered to him.
“Don’t let him hear you say that, Martha. He’s been known to chase older women, and you might find yourself in more trouble than you can handle.” He gave her a wink.
Abernathy’s last patient had left almost an hour ago. He planned to give himself a little time before seeing them. He had hardly slept last night after Martha had called him about the appointment, an appointment that included both brothers. These days sleep only came with exhaustion or the assistance of medication. He had been ob
sessed by the thoughts of them, their existence, their meaning. What a privilege, what a curse, he thought to himself as he looked at the papers on his desk; papers and notes and schedules that appeared dull in a world seemingly insignificant since he had met the twins. All other aspects of his life had faded into a bland grayness. He had resisted every impulse to talk to someone about them. He wanted to call Bolinsky at the very least; he was plagued by the thought that he must know something. In his most desperate moments, he thought of talking to Gabriela, even though they were not close, but he knew that such an overture would be taken badly by Mark. Besides, it would be a complete violation of doctor-patient confidentiality. He kept hearing Mark’s words in his mind that he was the first to see his nature, and Jason’s terrifying warning that no one should learn of their existence. He heard Martha’s knock on the door. She poked her head into the office as she partially opened it.
“Shall I send them in?”
“Yes,” he responded. “I’m ready.”
Martha returned to the waiting room and indicated with a gesture that the doctor would see them.
She blushed, pushing her gray hair back from her forehead, with Mark’s last words to her still in her mind. As they entered the doctor’s inner office, she announced, “Here are the young men. I mean, your clients, Doctor.”
“Thank you, Martha.” Abernathy gave her a look of disapproval; obviously critical of the way she had introduced them. “Gentlemen. Please take a seat,” he said gesturing towards the center of the room. Jason and Mark sat down in the two chairs while Abernathy remained standing. Mark could sense trepidation when he looked at Jason. He took a deep breath, glancing towards Mark for reassurance.
“Well, gentlemen, here we are. Martha told me you both needed to see me urgently, that there is a pressing matter. What can I do for you?”
Mark was about to speak, when Jason interrupted him, “Doctor Abernathy, before we ask anything from you, I would like to say something, if I may. Mark told me how I frightened you in your home. I realize I was rude and impetuous by intruding into your life in that manner. I hope you can accept my apology.”
Abernathy looked first at Mark and then turned to Jason. “Well, you did startle me, I will admit. But let’s put that behind us.” He paused. “If you two need my help, I am at your service. After all, you paid for therapy for the next fifty years in advance.” Abernathy smiled, and Jason returned the expression.
“Thank you,” responded Jason.
“Yes, thank you,” echoed Mark.
“So, what are we here to talk about?” asked the doctor as he, at last, took his seat.
“Well, we have been summoned to a meeting with the leaders of our home world and we have concerns. We’ve always believed the main reason we have been sent here is to save your world, yet we have also sensed that there are other motivations at play, motivations that we do not understand. Because our home planet places so much value on your world, we are sure they wish it to remain safe at all costs, and that we both may be expendable to achieve this. So, we’re…”
Dr. Abernathy interrupted, “You truly believe the only reason you were sent here is to protect us, to save us from some catastrophe? How do you know that? And why do you think you might die? Why would you be expendable?”
Jason answered, “It is not so much in what they have told us, but rather in what they have not. We think they know something they are not sharing. Possibly, they know we will likely not survive.”
Mark interjected, “But Doctor, we will do whatever is necessary to save this planet, and we are sure that is our mission, although it has not been fully explained.”
Abernathy paused. “I see, so while this is all a supposition on your part, an intuition you’ve formed, you believe in the mission and that your lives are at stake. Do I understand correctly?”
“Well,” answered Jason, “we await the meeting, as I have said, but yes. That is correct, but I would refer to it as a deduction rather than an intuition.”
Abernathy responded, “So what are you asking from me? Are you asking me to assume your deductions are correct, that you are at death’s door, although you have no direct evidence to support this conjecture? They have not told you precisely what is wanted of you, or even if you are in danger. Am I correct?”
“Yes, but we are sure something is amiss, and we need your objective opinion,” responded Jason. “And we need your advice on how to respond to different possible scenarios that may unfold. I think what I would like to know from our meeting with the Council, and I speak for myself here, is the following: Suppose we are correct in our assumptions. How do we approach this discussion? We are in a tenuous position. Mark and I will fulfill the mission regardless of our expendability. If I want a straight answer, how can I convince them to be honest with us? Mark, do you have anything to add?”
“Yes, we know that our main purpose on Earth is to ensure its survival, for we have known this from childhood. But it is the secret agenda that is troubling, and we are sure it exists. It was not until recently that we felt this grave danger. We have no concrete facts, but our intuitions, as you call them, have never betrayed us. We believe we were sent here for many reasons: to learn, to experience, to share, to understand, to grow… And we have grown. We’ve grown to have immense power and knowledge, and perhaps above all, we’ve discovered human emotions in ourselves, but what else? As much as I trust the Council, I believe we are expendable if the greater need is served. We are sure they want more, though I am not really certain what that more is. I think what I am getting at is that it is less black and white to me than it is to Jason. I feel there is more at play. Am I rambling? This whole thing is very complicated and disconcerting to us, as you can imagine.”
“Well, I can see that this is extremely perplexing to the both of you, and I want to acknowledge your concerns and not dismiss your deductions, but I feel it’s appropriate that I challenge your evaluation of the situation. I think you are correct in assuming you are facing danger, but I also believe you should consider that you are highly valued. To imagine that you are being asked to die, to be a kamikaze and fall to your death, so to speak… Well, that is hard for me to accept. In the more likely scenario, you are being asked to do something dangerous, even perilous, but I believe a better analogy might be that you are the boys who stormed the beaches at Normandy on D Day, not a Kamikaze. Courage may be called upon, for much time and effort has been spent on your development. It is illogical that your makers would simply discard you.”
“Why?” interrupted Mark.
Abernathy answered earnestly, “Because you are valuable.”
Jason stood up. “You are saying we are too valuable to waste? That’s how should we approach this meeting?” His tone turned from frustrated to angry. “I’m sorry, Doctor. Forgive my bluntness, but as you earthlings would say… This is bullshit! I believe the beings of my world are ‘pragmatic’ and will only do what is in their interest, and just make more like us. I sense only a concern for the mission.”
Mark looked at Jason. “But Jason, maybe he has a point. If we were made only to be thrown away, why would they have spent so much time on us?”
Jason rose in his chair. “Thank you, Dr. Abernathy, but I don’t think you understand my point. Everything I know tells me that we are expendable.” Jason turned to Mark, “I am going. This is not helping. And Doctor, you can keep the diamond I gave you.”
Jason started to leave. Abernathy, taken aback by Jason’s violent response, implored, “But don’t you think they have considered all of this before? The difficulties you would face, the danger if you were to be wasted? They made you as you are for a reason. I am sure they would not have invested in you so deeply otherwise. I’m sure your makers do not want you to die. Unless…” Abernathy paused and got up from his chair and started to walk about the room. He looked intently at both Mark and Jason. “Unless for some reason they have… they have grown to fear you both in some way.”
Jason stopped be
fore reaching the door. Intrigued, he asked, “But, why would they fear us?”
The doctor relaxed back into his chair. “Didn’t you say that you have both grown more powerful than you had expected? And did you not say that there might be reasons for you both to be here other than saving our planet? Now, let’s assume you do save the planet. Then what? You have both grown to care for humanity, have you not? This may worry them. If you have grown to such power that they fear not being able to control you, and if there is something they want here on Earth that you both don’t know about, they may see you as a potential problem.”
Jason turned to leave again and reached out his hand toward Abernathy. “May I shake your hand? I really like this custom of yours.”
“Yes, of course,” replied Abernathy as he reached out and grasped Jason’s hand. “It feels very natural, human for sure, strange. I don’t know why I thought it wouldn’t be.” As Jason was about to leave, Mark advanced to bid Abernathy goodbye.
“I have grown very fond of you, Mark, and, in an unusual way,” said Abernathy. “Please tell him that I am sorry if I brought up more questions than comfort.”
“No, Doctor. You’ve opened up another door for us. You’ve given us another card to play. Goodbye and thank you.”
They left the doctor’s inner office and stepped out into the reception area. The door closed behind them. He must need some time to himself, thought Mark.
As they left the office, Jason turned to Mark. “He's right; they need us. And if there are other motivations, we will know it.”
“Well, seeing you must have been upsetting to him. I am really glad you came, though. Without you being here, we would never have understood all of what we have. I feel empowered. Do you?”
“Yes, and at least it was better than the first time we met. I am glad you reassured him of my intentions towards him. What did you say to him about me? He was terrified when we walked in.”
Soteria- The Crisis Forge Page 20