by J. H. Croix
Anna let out something between a huff and a growl. “Hurry,” she ordered.
I chuckled, teasing my fingers over the damp cotton. “We’ll see about that,” I murmured as I pressed another kiss along the sensitive skin just inside the curve of her hip.
She rocked her hips incrementally into my touch. When she let out a ragged gasp, my restraint snapped from its tether. I just needed to feel her. Pushing her panties out of the way, I delved into her satiny heat.
Getting Anna off with my fingers was pure heaven. I buried one and then another inside her rippling core as one of her hands gripped my hair, and the other clenched her cotton skirt.
Leaning down, I gave her a lazy lick, savoring the salty tang and her ragged cry. I meant to take this slow, but that’s not how it went. Not with Anna rocking into me, not with the taste of her arousal dancing across my tongue, not with her voice murmuring my name as she trembled and clamped around my fingers.
Before I knew it, I was looking at her with her hair a rumpled mess around her shoulders as she gasped ragged breaths. I watched her fly apart as I teased her deftly with greedy fingers
Before I could even grasp what was happening, she was unbuttoning my fly. “Anna, you don’t—”
She shook her head, her eyes holding mine, bossing me with just a look. In another blinding hot second, I felt her palm curling around my shaft, steel hard and aching. I was so close to release it only took a few strokes, and I was spurting in her hand. Bloody hell. She had me tumbling back to boyhood when I had little control.
But that was Anna. She ripped my control from my hands with a smile curving on her cheeks and those big brown eyes. A look into her eyes felt like a ray of sunshine in my heart.
Somehow, I regained my dignity. After helping clean Anna up and putting her clothes to rights, I tidied up in the bathroom before returning to the living room. She looked up, and it felt as if my heart stumbled and fell. Its beat stuttered and then rebounded into a thundering rhythm in my chest.
“Do you want to watch something?”
Her question was perfectly innocent. It wasn’t even late. I did want to watch something, but not for the watching. I wanted that simple time with her.
I felt as if I needed to be careful, not with her, but with myself. I swallowed before nodding as I crossed the room. “Have you eaten?” I asked when I sat down beside her.
She shook her head, and my stomach growled as if needing to make its own needs clear. She giggled. “I guess we’re both hungry.” Then, she sighed, worry passing through her eyes as her brow burrowed. “I can’t spoil you with cooking because I’m not supposed to be on my feet much.”
“You don’t need to spoil me with food, Anna. Plus, you have. You made dinner last night and the night before.”
She smiled slightly. “It’s the only time I can be on my feet. When you’re busy in the winery, and I’m sneaking. I promise I sat on a stool most of the time.”
I chuckled. “Eloise said there was pizza leftover from lunch. Shall I go get it?”
“You sure you don’t mind?”
God, it killed me how independent Anna was. She resisted help so hard. I just wanted to give her more and more. I hated knowing that she worried as much as she did. Her entire spirit was generous, yet she struggled mightily to accept any generosity in return.
“Of course, I don’t mind. I’m hungry too, remember?”
“Can I throw together a salad?” she pressed.
“You’re going to anyway,” I countered. “I’ll get you set up at the counter with your foot propped up, and then I’ll go get the pizza.”
She beamed a smile in response, and my heart banged against my ribs. It felt as if it were shaking the cage of my body.
That night, after we had pizza and a delicious salad, I persuaded her to sleep in her bed. Mango slept at the foot of the bed. I fell asleep beside her, and the tenderness echoing with every beat of my heart almost undid me.
Chapter Forty-One
Anna
“Mom? What are you doing here?” I was so shocked to see my mother and father, my mouth fell open, and I started to get up from the chair where I was seated at a table in the winery.
For a split second, I forgot I needed to be careful about my ankle. “Easy,” Jasper called, crossing to me from where he’d been standing at the bar.
His sharp gaze moved from me to my parents. My mother stood in the doorway, taking off a hat. She wore a long skirt and a faded pink T-shirt. Her gray hair was woven into a braid that fell almost to her waist. My father wore battered jeans and leather boots with a concert T-shirt.
For all I knew, they were wearing the same thing they had the last time I’d seen them four years ago. I tried not to sigh, but it slipped out anyway. I could feel Jasper trying to measure the situation.
“Anna!” my mother exclaimed as she hurried over. She enveloped me in a hug. She smelled like flowers and grass.
My father came over at a slower pace, leaning down to dust an absentminded kiss on my cheek.
“How are you, darling?” my mother asked when she stepped back. She looked around the space. “It looks amazing. Where’s mom?”
That was the moment Jasper’s entire demeanor sharpened. Because yeah, my mother didn’t even know her mother died. That was how much she stayed in touch. Jasper didn’t say a word, but he came around to stand beside me, his palm resting lightly between my shoulder blades.
“This place is looking sharp,” my dad said slowly, nodding approvingly. The last time they’d been here was before the improvements my grandmother made. They didn’t know her house had been foreclosed on, and I didn’t want them to know I was considering putting the property up for sale.
I finally collected myself enough to respond. “Mom, Gram died.”
My mother stared at me, her eyes going wide as her mouth fell open. “What?” she asked slowly.
“She’s dead,” I said, feeling a little numb inside. “You know she had heart problems for years. She died in her sleep.”
“Why didn’t you call us?” my father asked.
Anger flashed inside, but it fizzled instantly. It was an old, tired anger. My parents lived such a free-wheeling lifestyle, getting a hold of them was hit or miss, at best. When they had cell phones and enough money to cover the cost of them, I didn’t always have their number.
“I didn’t have a number,” I said. “I tried calling the last one I had, but it was no longer in service.”
My mother sank slowly into a chair across from me. “I just—” She rested her elbows on the table and put her face in her hands. When she lifted her head, her eyes were shiny with tears. “I can’t believe I wasn’t here.”
I didn’t know what in the world to say to that. I could believe she wasn’t here when Gram died. Because they only popped in every few years when they happened to be drifting through the area. I didn’t understand my parents. Maybe I never would. They had met young and fallen quickly into a lifestyle of partying and minimal responsibility.
Originally, they had made sense of their lifestyle with philosophical concepts, such as freedom and not being tied down by our capitalist structure. I could understand the perception and was personally supportive of things like universal healthcare and taking care of each other. But, I also supported a little stability and structure to make sure the basics were covered.
My childhood with them had been one of uncertainty and confusion until they finally left me to stay with my grandparents full-time. We lived on three different communes with an ever-changing rotation of adults and families. My father came across as easy-going at a glance, but he had a temper. He wasn’t violent, but he could fly off the handle verbally and lost one job after another. His ability to participate in the communal lifestyle of shared labor was limited as a result. I didn’t know what my mother would’ve been like if it weren’t for her falling in love with him, but it didn’t matter much.
They were still together, and I didn’t see that changing anytime
soon. “I’m sorry, Mom. I did try to call and find you.” I spoke the truth, but after a few months of trying, I’d dropped it. I had enough to deal with—my own grief and scrambling to get this place back to rights.
My father stayed quiet. He was an expert at not communicating when things got uncomfortable. After a few moments of sitting quietly, I asked, “Can I get you anything to eat or drink?”
“I don’t feel much like eating,” my mother said. “Not now. I’ll take a glass of water.”
My father replied, “Water sounds good. If you’ve got anything to eat, I’ll take it.” He finally sat down beside my mother.
Without a word, Jasper’s hand dropped from my shoulders as he strode toward the kitchen. Only then did my mother’s eyes land on the crutches leaning against the wall beside me and my foot in its supportive boot propped up on a chair. “Oh, dear! What happened?” She glanced over her shoulder just as Jasper disappeared through the door behind the bar into the kitchen. “And who is that?”
“That’s Jasper. His grandfather knew Gram and invested in the winery before she passed away. Like I inherited the winery, so did he. As for my ankle, well, I tripped on the stairs and broke it. That’s it.”
For once, my mother focused more on my well-being. “Oh, hon, I’m so sorry. We’re only gonna be here for tonight, but I’ll help out as much as I can.”
I managed not to roll my eyes. I had zero expectations for my parents, and I certainly didn’t need help for one night. Even though I had long ago given up on my parents, I still experienced a twinge of sadness and disappointment. I thought maybe there would be more than a few minutes of sadness over Gram from my mother. My father had never been close to her, so I didn’t expect it from him.
When I was a little girl, I had this idea that one day my mom would wake up and realize my dad was kind of a drag, and she would change and be more like her mom. She was loving, but honestly, I didn’t know. I guessed the emotional neglect she experienced from my father just sucked that capacity right out of her.
“It’ll be fine. With Jasper here, he’s taking care of most things. I also have Eloise and the rest of the staff. Everyone helps,” I offered.
Jasper returned from the kitchen, actually carrying a tray. I almost laughed. He placed two waters down for my parents and a plate with pizza for my father. I figured he must’ve zapped it in the microwave to get back that quickly.
He set the empty tray down on a table nearby before sitting down beside me. He was quiet, but I could feel an intensity to him and couldn’t help but wonder what he thought of my parents’ out of the blue arrival.
My mother looked over at him. “Well, I hear you own half the winery with my daughter. I do hope you’re a good partner,” she said, almost pointedly, like she had some right to have an opinion.
“Mom, Jasper has been nothing but helpful,” I interjected.
“I would hope so,” my father cut in, his tone a little sullen. “You inherited a valuable place.”
Okay, I was all done with this ridiculousness. “Dad, don’t be a jerk. Gram was in over her head with debt, in large part due to how much she helped you two out over the years. She poured her savings into one thing after another for both of you. If it weren’t for her partnership with Jasper’s grandfather, she would’ve lost everything. As it was, her house went into foreclosure.”
My mother gasped, her palm pressing against her chest. “Are you serious?”
“Yes, mom. I’m serious. Jasper’s been nothing but helpful.” I turned and looked at my father. “Don’t even think about trying to pry money out of me or this place. I don’t have it to give.”
My father looked sort of chastened. After he finished chewing a bite of his pizza, he took a swallow of water and looked from me to Jasper. “All right, then. I just hope he doesn’t take advantage of you,” my father added.
God, I was so wary of him. My father was not an evil man, but he drifted through life, looking for the next hand-out because he never could figure out how to pull his shit together enough to take care of himself and my mother, much less me.
“Dad, Jasper could buy and sell this place ten times over. He’s not taking advantage of me. If anything, I’m taking advantage of him.”
Jasper finally broke his silence. “I don’t know either one of you, but I can assure you I will not be taking advantage of the winery. I will, however, make sure that you two can’t ruin this business for Anna.” His words were slow and measured and delivered in that haughty British accent that made my toes curl.
A ruddy flush crested on my father’s cheeks, and my mother studied Jasper for a moment.
“Well, we weren’t coming here for money. Just to say hello because we love our daughter,” she finally said.
Jasper simply lifted one shoulder in a slight shrug.
Somehow, we got through that awkward hour. I thought my parents would’ve tried to stay the night, but they changed their plans. Maybe because Gram was gone, maybe because Jasper swooped in and made it clear he wouldn’t tolerate them trying to take advantage of the situation. My mother fussed over me and my ankle, told me she loved me a few too many times, while my father sulked. After they finally left, Jasper returned from feeding the goats.
He sat down in the chair across from me. I had my laptop open and tapped save on the menu I’d been working on.
Chapter Forty-Two
Jasper
Locks of Anna’s hair fell around her face. She’d tied it up in a knot earlier, but it was coming loose. Her eyes were tired, and tension emanated from her.
I’d watched her interaction with her parents earlier and sensed the uncertainty they stirred up for her. I wanted to stay and protect her from that. It was strange how blinding clarity could come from such a brief interaction.
I’d suddenly understood just how much she craved security. Bloody hell, her parents were total flakes as far as I was concerned. Her mother was loving in a careless way. Her father was an ass. I didn’t know all the details, but I could see the main plot lines of their relationship. Now, I understood just how much they’d drained Anna’s grandmother.
I’d pulled her father aside and told him point-blank not to count on any help from Anna. It wasn’t the money that bothered me. It was how they just expected it from her.
There was that understanding that dawned on me today, followed with the blinding truth of just how much Anna meant to me. I loved her, and I would do anything to make sure she had the security she craved.
She closed her laptop and looked over at me. “Have you eaten? You’re working too hard, Jasper,” she began.
Of course, she began worrying about me. She always put everybody in front of herself.
I stared at her for a long moment, and then the words just walked out of my mouth. “I love you, you know.”
Her big brown eyes went wide, and her mouth dropped open in a pretty little O. Her breath came out in a startled puff. “What?” she squeaked.
Reaching across the table, I laced my fingers in hers, rubbing my thumb back and forth over the center of her palm. “I. Love. You.”
“Jasper, you can’t—” she sputtered.
“I can, and I do.”
Her cheeks went pink. Then, she burst into noisy tears. Not exactly what I expected to hear. But, this was Anna, and this was me, so all I wanted to do was make her feel better.
Standing, I rounded the table and knelt beside her. With her foot in the supportive boot, it was too awkward to pull her up in my arms like I wanted. I made do with sliding an arm around her shoulders. She turned and tucked her forehead against my neck as she took several shuddering breaths.
“Was it that bad?” I asked when she lifted her head and brought her gorgeous eyes to mine. With a sniffle, she shook her head. “It just surprised me is all. And, today was kind of weird. My parents always make me feel all crazy.”
“I noticed,” I said dryly. “It’s okay. My parents make me feel a little crazy too.”
Anna looked
so startled by that comment that I couldn’t help but laugh. “True story. You’ll meet them someday.”
She stared at me. I could see all kinds of stuff spinning in her mind. I might not have been able to technically see in there, but I could practically feel it—little squirrels of thought dashing around as she frantically tried to figure out what she wanted to say.
She wrinkled her nose, a slow smile curving along her cheek. “I love you too. But it’s complicated. You live in London.” She gestured out toward the flower fields as if London were out there.
“London’s closer in the other direction,” I teased.
She pursed her pretty pink lips. “Whatever. The earth is round, so eventually, you would get to London.”
For the first time today, actually maybe since I’d arrived this time, I felt the tension ease from her as she considered me.
“What are we doing, Jasper? We can’t fall in love.”
“Too late. I already did.”
“But—”
“Anna, I know it’s not convenient. I know you just want to feel secure. It doesn’t matter where I live. You don’t need to worry. We’ll figure it out. It can just be us, and we’re the secure part.”
She blinked her eyes. She took a quick breath and let it out in a shaky sigh. “Okay.”
“Just okay?” I was teasing, a little.
My heart squeezed tight when she nodded slowly. “Okay is good. Really good.”
She changed the angle of her head and pressed a kiss in the divot at the base of my throat. For just a moment, her lips lingered. Need seized me, sizzling through me like fire.
When she lifted her head, I slid my hand through her silky curls to cup her nape. Because words simply wouldn’t do, I fit my mouth over hers. Her lips parted immediately, and I dove into the heat of her mouth.