by Naomi Penn
“Nothing…” I trailed off. I wasn’t sure what he meant or how I would even begin to answer the question.
“I guess I should say, why are you doing this?” The man’s voice was deep and gruff, and had a very commanding nature to it. He was not someone you wanted to cross, that much was obvious.
Despite this, I was a little put off by his question. I didn’t need someone coming around preaching to me about my life. I knew it was shit, but I was doing the best I could, given the circumstances. At least that's what I told myself. I shrugged.
“Thanks for the help, I gotta go.” I really was appreciative. Had he not shown up, I most certainly would have been raped. I just wasn’t in the right condition to discuss my life goals at that moment.
“You’re way too pretty for this. I don’t mean to be rude, but you have a lot of time to figure things out before you should need to resort to…” He looked around, at the dumpster, the dirty alley we stood in, and all the trash that surrounded us. “This.”
“Yea, well.” I shrugged my shoulders, turning to leave. I didn’t like it either.
“If you need something to help you land on your feet, I can give you a job at my bar. A girl like you could earn plenty from bartending tips. Just think about it. Come down anytime.” He reached in his back pocket and handed me a business card.
I didn’t look at it, but I did take it. I slipped it into my bra, thanked him again, and left.
***
I didn’t return to my normal tricks after that, but I didn’t take the man up on his offer either. I had some weird semblance of pride in me that wanted to make my own way in life, but clearly that wasn’t working out well. Late one night, weeks after I had run into the man, I found myself lying in bed, turning the business card over and over.
Flames ran out the sides of the words ‘Full Throttle.’ According to the card, the man’s name must have been Moose. It didn’t say anything else. No actual first or last name, just Moose. The man was built like a Moose, so it seemed appropriate. The only name that would have been better would have been Bear.
The next day I decided to go down to the address and check the place out. I was surprised to find out that it was less than two blocks away from the place I had lived my entire life. I had passed it probably hundreds of times, but it never registered in my consciousness. It was probably due to the fact that it was the most obvious biker bar I had ever seen, which is a culture I had previously had no interest in.
I stood across the street looking at the place. Quite a few men and women flowed in and out of the doors, all looking stranger than the last. There was plenty of men with black t shirts and handlebar mustaches, but there were also many with crazy body piercings and large mohawks. Even the women looked like they could easily handle most normal men in a fight.
I watched for a while, before deciding it wasn’t worth my time to go in. If I had been honest with myself, it wasn’t that I didn’t think it would be worthwhile, it was just that I didn’t think I belonged and would stick out like a sore thumb.
When I turned to leave, however, Moose was standing right behind me. He must have noticed me on the street, and had come up next to me.
“Leaving already?” He smiled. It was disarming, something about it conveyed a sense of safety.
I couldn’t help smiling back. “Yea, I just don’t know if this is the place for me. I don’t look like the biker type.”
“That's why you’re perfect! A sexy girl like you, especially with your skin color, will have those men acting crazy. If you’re worried about racism, you don’t need to be. I run a tight ship when it comes to that, and don’t tolerate any of it. We could use a little culture from someone like you. At least come in a check it out!”
I hadn’t even considered racism, but it was still nice to know I wouldn’t need to either. Without any good reason not to go in, and an escort from the owner, I decided that it wouldn’t kill me to go check the place out.
The inside was rather dark and a little hazy. Three pool tables sat in the middle of a giant room, with a huge bar to the left. The walls were decorated with license plates, gas station memorabilia and signage, and tons of pictures of motorcycles. A rather old yet pristine bike even hung from the ceiling, bringing all the decorations together to one focal point.
Everyone inside save for three were white, and none of these three were women. All the eyes of the patron’s turned to look at the two of us as I followed him through the middle of everything. As we walked past, people got out of our way and made low “Mooooooose” calls. He was very clearly top dog around here.
Moose led me to the bar, lifting a wooden panel and inviting me to step behind it with him.
“Have you ever poured a drink before?”
“Shots…” Where I came from, people didn’t waste time doing more to their drinks than adding something flavorful like coca cola.
Moose laughed at my answer. “Well, you’re in luck cause we’re easy around here. 90% of what you would be doing is pouring beers. The only trick to that is keeping the froth manageable, but that is easy to pick up on. The other 10% is mostly whiskey, but you can learn how to pour specific drinks as you go. It really isn’t hard. Wanna help Meg out a bit today and learn the ropes? See if this is something you could get into?”
I said yes, if for no other reason that leaving now would be more awkward than staying. I also figured I could earn a little money, something I was sorely short on since quitting my business behind the complex.
Meg was an extremely short yet feisty brunette. She had her share of tattoos, and a shirt that barely covered a remarkably large set of boobs, especially compared to her short stature.
“Well what the fuck are you looking at, you gonna help or what? I don’t need someone standing here in the way. I need someone pouring drinks and cleaning those fucking cups.”
I stood opened mouthed for a moment. I normally didn’t let people talk to me that way, but there was something about the way she said it that made it obvious that it wasn’t meant personally, that was just the way that she talked.
I started washing the cups she had pointed to, not sure how to take a drink order or who to take it from. As I stood washing them, she came over and pushed me out of the way.
“You’ll be here all goddamn night if you do it like that. Fill this part here for rinsing. This brush pumps soap out, and trust me, you need soap after these grimy bastards have had their mouths all over them. Give this an old once around, pull it down and drop it in.” Her words meant little, but I followed her demonstration closely. I didn’t want to screw up and be made an even bigger example of.
I must have followed her instructions well, because Meg seemed to approve of the clean pile of cups I produced. There was a bit of lull in activity, so she started telling me more about the job.
“This shit ain’t easy. You’ll be on your feet for long hours, and I meant it when I called these guys bastards. You gotta watch your back. We’re all family here, but in these parts you can’t fully trust your family. Know what I’m sayin?” I just nodded. I really didn’t have any clue, but I was picking up pieces. “Now here is the deal. Most of the money you’ll make is from tips. The more you flirt, the more you make. It's a simple formula. You don’t have to be no mathematiculus or whatever to figure that one out. And you gotta show more skin than you are now. Get yourself a good push up bra and show those puppies off. They’re huge, these guys will be drooling, you can clean house.”
I followed her around, making mental notes of everything she said. “You’re lucky. You got tits and an ass. I don’t know why you have pants on, you gotta show that off too. I don’t have anything on my backside, just a flat piece of fat. I still make do. You can really clean house, I’m serious. Don’t make this harder than it needs to be. Be friendly, talk to people, pour beers and look sexy. It can get old, but it makes great money.”
Somehow through her ramblings, things were starting to make sense. I certainly was no stranger to
showing off my body, and it would be refreshing to be providing an actual service instead of just fucking people for their money. Right then, I decided that I would at least give the job a trial run.
***
For my first shift, I wore the skimpiest outfit I could find. I picked a pair of hot pink spandex shorts that I usually used for running and paired them with a plain black shirt with an extremely low neckline. The vast majority of my wardrobe malfunctions had occurred in this shirt, so I knew I had to be careful.
I was shocked to find myself working alone. I expected to be working with Meg or another bartender, but as I learned there weren’t many others working there. Two of them had moved a few weeks previously, leaving Meg to man the bar by herself most of the time. The other girl that worked there was part time and only came in on weekends and the afternoon. My presence meant Meg was getting her first day off in weeks.
While Meg wasn’t there, Moose was. He sat at the corner of the bar and welcomed me as I came in. “Good to see you, we’ve been waiting for someone to pour our drinks. You’ve got quite the challenge ahead of you, I’m sorry that you have to do this by yourself to start. Can you handle it?”
“Yes, of course.” I didn’t like when people doubted me.
“Good, cause we need you!” As I turned around to look back at the bar, it was clear that they actually had been waiting. Everyone pushed up against the men who were sitting in stools, holding money out and trying to get my attention.
I looked back at them, realizing for the first time how overwhelming it must be for bartenders. I had snuck into my fair share of clubs and bars, but was always annoyed when bartenders didn’t serve everyone perfectly in order. As I looked at all the men and women, there was no way for me to tell who had been there first, and they all eagerly awaited their drinks.
Luckily for me, Moose was looking out for me and announced to everyone that the first hour of my shift would be exclusively beer. Other drinks besides water and pop would have to wait. This helped me tremendously with getting situated, but I still struggled to keep up. The one part that Meg hadn’t talked to me about was collecting the money, which was difficult for me at first. I had never been great at math, so quickly figuring out change was not a strong suit for me. Even with my poor math skills, it was apparent that the amount of money sliding into my tip jar was growing quickly.
As I continued to serve, I was confused as I saw men adding tips to the jar even when they weren’t getting drinks. I didn’t have time to stop and figure out why they were doing it because I was too busy rushing from one customer to the next, but a crowd was crowing that seemed to be doing nothing but watching me. This propelled me to work harder, as I thought they were evaluating my performance.
As I finally seemed to catch up with all the backorders, I found myself with a brief lull and enough time to take a break. I turned around to fix my hair in the mirror, and that's when I saw what all the commotion was about. In all my rushing, I had failed to notice that my right breast had popped out of my shirt. I had no idea how long it had been out or how I hadn’t noticed, but it was fully out and exposed to everyone. I’m not talking about some small amount of nipple, my whole breast was actually out.
Blood rushed to my face as I pushed it back inside my shirt. My back was to the men behind me, but an audible groan rose from them as they saw what I did. I turned to where Moose was sitting, hoping he hadn’t seen, but he was already giving me the okay symbol with his right hand. I walked over to him to see what he meant.
“Most tenders don’t pull that trick till they’ve been around the block a few times.”
“It wasn’t on purpose.” I could feel my face burning.
“I can tell. Nothing to worry about, I think you’ll find that it was more worthwhile than what you were doing before.” He gestured to the tips. It was actually overflowing. “Plus, we encourage that type of stuff around here, unofficially of course. Hell, look at those two.” He gestured to a man and a woman in a booth to his left.
I stared at them for a moment. At first glance it just looked like they were sitting on each other’s laps and talking, but as I watched them, I noticed the distinct rocking back and forth that could only mean they were having sex. I turned to him, aghast and not believing that was happening. That was more than even I was used to seeing. There were so many other people.
“They’re actually being discreet, we tend to be pretty public around here. I don’t mind, especially as long as my gang don’t either.” I had never considered the group a gang, or Moose to be anything more than a bar owner, but the more I thought about it, the more I remembered people giving him an odd amount of respect.
That moment changed things for me. I don’t know why, but it made me feel more comfortable. The rest of the day I felt much looser, and realized that there wasn’t much I could do to screw things up, as long as I was nice. Based on Meg, I didn’t really even have to be nice, I just had to be flirty and fun, and as foul mouthed as possible.
Things were looking up.
***
Over the next few months, Moose became a mentor then a friend. He helped me get out of a very dark time in my life, and I was making better money than I ever thought possible. Before long, we were spending so much time together that other members of his gang would refer to me as his wife.
The truth was that I would have killed for that to be true. From pretty early on, I found a sexual attraction towards him growing within me. It wasn’t just that he saved me and helped turn my life around. Something about his huge body, rugged masculinity, yet gentle interior drove me wild. He looked as though he could ravish me sexually, yet had a sensitive side that was there any time I needed anything.
But he never seemed to feel the same towards me. He frequently referred to me as sexy, alluding to how much everyone would love an outfit I chose to wear, but never made any moves on me. Plenty of other men did, but I turned them all down hoping Moose would somehow realize how bad I wanted him.
As time went by, I wanted him more and more. The time I spent working at the bar was the longest dry spell I had ever been through sexually. It started because I didn’t have time, but continued because I held out hope that I could make Moose mine. I didn’t want to jeopardize any chance I may have had with him by fucking one of his friends.
With my sexual urges driving me crazy, I resolved to take matters into my own hands and try to seduce him on a night I knew we would both be at Full Throttle. Over the months I had been working, I had made notes as to what outfits Moose commented on the most. I knew the one that he really thought ‘would drive the others crazy’ was my tight top that served as a band around my breasts, and the neon pink shorts I had worn my first day. This combo left little to the imagination. The top covered only my breasts, leaving my stomach completely exposed. It was so tight that huge amounts of cleavage exploded out the top, and I could control the amount of nipple I wanted to let people ogle at.
This night I didn’t want to give anyone else a view, just Moose. As I walked in to start my shift, I decided to start things off with a bang. He sat in his usual corner, and I approached him.
“Fuck, there is some thread in my top that keeps jabbing me. I can’t find it.” With that, I flipped my top the whole way off my breasts, acting like I was looking for the imaginary thread. I made sure to shift back and forth, allowing my breasts to knock into each other and bounce around.
Moose, who had seen me plenty of times, was still clearly thrown by this. I was so close to him, and positioned so anyone else would only be seeing my back. I really milked the moment for all the tension I could create.
“Ah, here.” I began rubbing at the inner side of my left breast, acting like I was pulling at some invisible object. I really squeezed it around, knowing Moose’s eyes were glued to me. After a few moments, I pulled my hands up and looked down.
“Did I get it?”
Moose cleared his throat. “I didn’t see anything to begin with.”
I gav
e him a seductive look. “Oh? Perhaps you weren’t focusing on the right place.” I purposefully jiggled my breasts as I pulled my top back up. He was clearly uncomfortable and not sure what to make of the situation. I had been very forward, and had never just let my boobs dangle in his face like that before.
As the night progressed, it was apparent I had gotten under his skin. His eyes never left me the entire time I worked. I would occasionally look over and give him a wink, trying to continue his confusion. Anytime I had to get something from a lower shelf, I would turn my ass to him and bend over slowly, allowing him to take in every curve of my body, as my shorts left nearly nothing to the imagination.
Meg joined me the hour before we usually picked up in business. She noticed from the beginning that something was up. “What’s gotten into to Moose over there, he can’t take his eyes of you.”
I played innocent. “I haven’t noticed.”
“Well it’s no secret he wants you, but he normally keeps it a little more hidden than that.”