by Sandra Alex
I sigh and scratch my head as I pull up to my house. “Kayla. I don’t mean to sound harsh when I say this. But, she gave you those rings because she wants you to have them. From what it sounds like, she’s wanted you to have them for a long time.” I pause for effect. “Don’t you think that giving them back to her is going to hurt her? It wasn’t what…a minute ago…that you said you hate being the cause of someone else’s hurt.”
Silence.
“Kayla? Are you still there?” I ask, staring at my Bluetooth screen.
“Yeah,” her voice is a mere whisper. I hear her sniffle. Shit, I made her cry. Idiot! “You’re right.” Her voice raises an octave, and I know she’s crying. I back my car out of the driveway and out on to the main road. “I never really…looked at it like that before.” She sniffles. “My mother’s been trying to give me things from her jewelry box for years.” she pauses and I let her take some breaths.
“And what do you do when she tries?” I ask slowly, carefully.
“I usually refuse. In fact, if you hadn’t been there, I would have done the same.” Another pause.
“Kayla, sweetie, she deserves better than that. She knows her time has been coming for a long time, and she wants to go in peace. If you keep refusing to let her go, she’ll never have that peace.”
A whimper comes from her throat. “Oh…God, Daniel…I wish…I wish I had so many more years with her. I guess I’m being a selfish little kid when it comes down to it.”
“Well, now is the time to change that. You taking her rings made her feel better. She knows that they’ll be well looked after with you.” She softly whimpers and I keep silent, letting her vent.
“What am I going to do without her, Daniel? God, she’s been on death row for as long as I’ve been alive, practically. I always say that, but I never really believed it. It’s like she’s invincible. Like her time will never come. The doctors have been saying for years that she’s only got this many months or that many years to live…” she gasps and swallows. “Hold on a second. I have to pull myself together. There’s someone at the door.”
“Okay.”
I hear her blow her nose on the other end of the line. Then footsteps. And then, as I stand at her doorstep with my phone in my ear, she opens the door. At first, her face is a pasted-on smile, but when she sees me, she seems to fall apart, but at the same time, her face is alight. Practically jumping into my arms, she buries her face into my neck again, and I lift her off the floor, holding her tightly around the waist. Turning slightly, I close the door as she whimpers and sobs into my body. We stand at her doorway, me holding her up so her feet are dangling, for what seems like an eternity.
She seems to let go of years of pain as she cries on my shoulder. I wish I could take the pain away. I wish I could cure her beloved mother of every ailment that she has, just so Kayla can live without this agony. When I finally set her feet back on the floor, she kisses my neck again, and snuggles back into me. I could so get used to this kind of affection. I’ve never had this…raw, open, vulnerable, all-or-nothing kind of friendship with anyone. I never knew something like this existed. The closest friend, male or female, that I ever had, never so much as told me their most embarrassing moment. This is an all-encompassing, I need you for more than I know, kind of…l…yeah, oh yeah, it’s love. It’s impossible to be anything short of that.
I’ve never had a woman in my life trust me so much. I’ve never known a woman could place me at such high importance to her, without actually being romantically involved. What Kayla and I have I’ve had with nobody else my entire life. I can’t believe we didn’t know each other a month ago. I can’t believe what I thought of her when we first met. Man, never judge a book by its cover, is all I have to say. This woman…is the most important thing to me right now. I’ve never felt that way before about anyone…not even…wow…I can’t even remember her name right now. Kayla is the only one that comes to mind.
“I’m sorry, sweetie. I didn’t mean to make you cry.” I say as she pulls back.
“No, no.” she shakes her head. “Daniel, you made me see what I needed to see. Thank you.” She kisses my cheek. I’m half thankful she chose there instead of my lips. I’m not sure if all this kissing and touching is good for a guy who hasn’t had sex in over two years. My pants are still a little misshapen from the hard-on I had earlier.
“Well, either way, I also wouldn’t want to be the one to cause you any pain.” I kiss her forehead. “If anyone even hurt a hair on your head, I’d put the fear of God in them, after pounding them a little.”
That gets a small smile. “You’re so sweet.”
I hold her close again, and she breathes deeply. When she pulls back, she kisses me sweetly in the lips, the way one would kiss a child. I kiss her back, puckering up in an exaggerated manner. The sentiment is so tender I have to stop myself from telling her that I love her. And I do. I love her so much. I’m pretty sure she loves me, too. Based on the affection she gives me, I can’t read it any other way.
“You should go, Daniel. You’ll be exhausted tomorrow.”
“Don’t you worry about me. I’ll be fine.” I grin. “Feel better?”
“Much. Thank you.”
I release her. “Okay. I’ll let you get some sleep.”
“Goodnight.”
“Goodnight.”
As I lay in bed, my mind keeps wandering to Kayla. I keep picturing Greg with his arm around her. My heart starts to pump harder. Why it bothers me so much is beyond me. She told me herself that she doesn’t like the guy in that way. And even if she does, why should I care? We’re friends. She’s free to see whom she pleases. Giving up on sleep, I trot downstairs in my briefs and robe. Christopher is in the living room, sitting on the couch, watching television. He looks at his watch when I appear.
“Burning the midnight oil?” He stretches, letting out a loud grunt.
“I can see you are. What the hell are you watching?” I ask, only because I see something that looks like a cross between American Gladiators and Cirque de Soleil.
“I don’t know. Some YouTube crap. I was hoping it would bore the shit out of me and put me to sleep, but…it got interesting.”
I sit across from him on my leather sectional. “What’s got your goat?”
“The house is delayed.”
I turn my head and shake it. “Of course. Nothing is ever on time these days.”
“Yeah, well…they assured me all was on time. Then the electrician came in for an inspection and completely vetoed a few things the builders did. It’s making my head spin.”
“It’ll work out. Your builder is a good guy.” I know him personally. He’s the brother of an old high school friend.
Christopher looks at me soberly. “Wow. I figured you’d chop my head off. You losing your grumpy edge there, brother?” He leans forward so he can nudge my toes with his.
“Don’t push it.” I feign irritation by lifting a finger at him, but at the same time grinning.
“I take it you’re not hating this part-time class.”
“I’ve taken worse.”
“Where were you on Saturday night. I’ve been meaning to ask you. You didn’t come home.”
“What are you, my babysitter?”
“No. I was just wondering. You never stay out overnight.”
“My class project group met up. I ended up seeing a movie and having a hotdog with the host of the meeting. We ended up sick like dogs from the hotdogs. I puked half the night and was too weak to drive home.”
“Yuck.” He shudders. “This said host…is this a guy or a girl?”
“Girl.”
He tilts his head. “Ah, so that’s the reason why your nerves have unclenched. Did you bang her?”
I lean forward, pulling my robe tighter. “No, I did not bang her, and if you allude to that again I’ll break your teeth.”
“So you like her.” He states, satisfied.
“We’re friends, pervert.”
“Sh
e cute?”
No, she’s fucking beautiful, asshole. “Like I said. We’re friends.”
“Okay, well, if you’re just friends, can I meet her?”
Here it comes. I sigh. “You already have.”
His face scrunches. “Who?”
“The girl from the bar.” It pains me to tell him.
His eyes bulge. “Are you shitting me? The girl you played tonsil tennis with?” his tone is so high you would think someone grabbed his balls.
“If you keep saying that, I’m going to punch you.”
“So you do like her.”
I sigh and rake a hand through my hair. “Grow up. She just got divorced. The last thing she needs is another relationship. Plus, like I said….oooh, I don’t know…three times now….we’re just friends.”
“So you like her, but you don’t know if she likes you.”
“You’re not listening to me.”
He nods and guffaws. “Oh, I’m listening just fine. I know you like her. I can tell by the way you’re being so protective of her. If you didn’t like her, you wouldn’t give a shit.”
“You’re so incisive, Christopher.” My voice drips with sarcasm. “So, tell me…what would you do in my situation…given that you’re such a connoisseur of relationships yourself.” He’s never been in a long-term relationship…unless you count his car.
“Bang her anyway and see what happens.” He barks. “Something chemical happens to chicks after a good fucking. They start to yearn for you. They get attached. Happened to me once.” He says, looking off into the distance.
“And then you took a shower and it was all over, right?” I jibe.
He lifts his chin, impressed by my response. “You bang her and see, man. I’m not kidding.”
Grunting, I rise from the couch. “I can see talking to you is a waste of time.”
“You’ll bang her. I bet you ten bucks within a week you’ll be in her pants.”
I walk by him and smack him bluntly on the head with the heel of my hand. “Clean up your mouth, you pig.”
His hair flies all over the place with the force. “Ah! Fuck!”
“If you ever wonder why you can’t find a nice girl, it’s because of the way you talk. In case you didn’t notice, girls don’t like it when you swear or talk about them like the best ones are found in a butcher shop.”
He fixes his hair, but I cuff him again.
“What the fuck was that for!”
“Get a haircut!”
Chapter 15
Kayla
Daniel is right. I really need to cool it a notch. I worry like it’s a competitive sport. It was so sweet of him to drive all the way back to my house to comfort me. I’ve never met anyone with such compassion. The way he held me when he came to the door, I have to admit, it felt amazing. Nobody has ever lifted me up off the floor. It was kind of exhilarating, even though I was bawling my eyes out. For some reason, when he holds me, I feel compelled to burrow into his neck. He smells so good; not like cologne or after shave or anything. He just smells like…Daniel.
I’ll take my mom’s rings into the jewelry store tomorrow morning. There is one on my way to work, so when I go for my morning break, I’ll take it in. After the emotional evening, I’m exhausted and fall asleep immediately after Daniel leaves. He calls me the next day on my cell phone as I’m riding into work.
“Good morning.” His voice sounds chipper.
“Good morning. This is a nice surprise.” I’m smiling and I think he can hear it.
“I had a minute and I wanted to call you to ask you something.”
“Go ahead.”
“Are you interested in a study partner for the quiz?”
I shrug. “Sure. I was going to do some studying tonight after I visit my mom. Do you want to meet me at my place, or do you want me to swing by your place after?” I realize I haven’t seen Daniel’s house yet, and suddenly, I’m curious.
“Well…I don’t mind tagging along to visit your mom. And then maybe we could take our study materials to a casual restaurant and eat dinner while we go over our notes? Sound good?”
“As long as you don’t make me eat hot dogs, I’m game.”
He chuckles. “Just remember that the hot dogs were your idea.”
“Fine. I take full responsibility.” I pause. “Daniel, are you close with your mom?”
“I used to be. But since she had her breakdown, it’s more difficult. She’s not the person she once was.”
“Oh…I’m sorry.”
“It’s okay. It’s a fair question.”
“I was just wondering why you want to come visit my mom. You must miss yours. I’ve never known a guy to be crazy about his friend’s mother. Usually it’s the opposite.”
“I like your mom. She’s warm and she has a good heart. Plus, she looks a lot like you. Your Nana Mary is pretty cool, too. That’s where you’ve got me beat. None of my grandparents are still alive.”
“Do you think I could meet your family some day?”
“Sure. You can meet them whenever you want. I told you my little brother is living with me temporarily. But I’ll warn you that he’s going to hit on you.”
“I’ve already met him.” I giggle. “And why would he hit on me?”
“If you’re an attractive female, he’ll hit on you.”
My voice goes playfully sultry. “You think I’m attractive?”
“Do cows go moo?” he chuckles.
“You’re sweet.”
“You, too. Gotta go. I’ll pick you up at five; I’m done at four.”
“See you then.”
The day seems to zip by, and before I know it, I’m home, changing my clothes, and putting my studying stuff together. I even cheat and look over my notes, highlighting important points so Daniel and I can breeze through it later. Before I know it, there is a knock on my door. His face lights up when he sees me.
“Hey,” he walks in and I kiss his cheek as he kisses mine. “You have a good day?”
“Not bad. Can’t complain. Yours?”
“Better than most.”
“So no hugs tonight?” I wink.
“Well, just for that.” He takes a step towards me and brings me close to him. I snake my arms around his neck while he embraces me. His hands surround my back as he leans into me. Drawing in a deep breath, I take in his scent. We stand there a moment longer, and he releases me. He kisses my cheek as the gap between us enlarges. The warm grin on his face is so cute it’s contagious.
“I’ll take a hug whenever you’re giving them out.” I say.
He smiles. “Are you ready?”
“Yeah. Let me just grab my stuff off the chair.”
I’m already quizzing him as we drive to go see my mom. He’s nailing the material. I tell him so and he points to his temple. “I’m not just good-looking, you know.” He winks.
“Cute. Would you believe we’ve made it through almost all the material being covered?”
“It isn’t much.” He says, pulling into a parking spot.
My mom is sitting in the front lounge area in her wheelchair. She’s knitting something. It looks like a winter watch cap.
“Hi, mom.” I gush, kissing her cheek. I haven’t seen her look this good for such a long stretch in a while.
“Hi, baby. How are you?”
“Very good. You look great.”
“Hi, Mrs. White.” Daniel says, leaning over to kiss her cheek, too. I think it’s adorable.
“Hi, Daniel. Are you two going to school tonight?”
“No, tomorrow night. But we’re studying for a quiz together.”
“That sounds like fun.” Mom addresses Daniel. “I’m knitting this for you. I hope you like hats.”
“Aw, thank you, Mrs. White. I do like hats.”
“Good. I don’t have any grandchildren to knit for, and I’ve knitted everything under the sun for Kayla, so you’re my next victim.” She giggles. “If you don’t like it you can donate it. That doesn’t offend
me.”
Daniel’s bright smile is endearing. “I wouldn’t dream of it. No, seriously, I like it.”
“Good. I started knitting long before I went blind and I just kept it up. It keeps my hands busy and my mind quiet.”
“That’s a great skill to have.” Daniel agrees.
“Do you need anything while we’re here, mom?” I ask.
“No, no. Everything is fine. Your nana should be by later too. She had Bingo tonight.”
“That’s Nana Mary.” I smile. We sit down on either side of her while she continues to knit. Her breathing is calm, I notice. Her oxygen is hooked on the back of her wheelchair.
“Did you decide whether you’re going to go to school full-time yet, dear?” She asks me.
“No. Not yet. I can’t. Not until all the legal expenses are paid for.”
“I never knew divorces could be so expensive.” Mom comments.
“It would have been more if Nick contested anything.” I add, “but let’s not talk about that now, mom.”
Mom waves. “Oh, baby, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to bring it up. Sorry, Daniel.”
“That’s okay. It is what it is. We all have unpleasant things going on in our lives to some degree.”
“That’s very true, son.”
My eyes bulge. Mom never even called Nick ‘son’…ever. “But I never look at unpleasant things like that. I see them as doors. Challenges are God’s way of leading you down another path.”
“You’re very wise, Mrs. White.”
“She holds her hand out and smiles in Daniel’s direction. It’s like he senses that she wants him to take her hand. He does. “Daniel, son, please call me Margaret or mom. Only medical personnel call me Mrs. White. It makes me feel…clinical.”
He smiles and gives her hand a squeeze. “That sounds fair enough.” He releases her hand and relaxes back in the chair.
“Daniel, would you mind going to ask reception if my mail has come yet, please?”
He rises without hesitation. “Sure. I’ll be right back.”
I give my mother a puzzled look as he walks away. “What was that all about, mom?”
Her voice is a murmur. “Kayla, he loves you. Do you know that?”
My neck cranes back. “Maybe as a friend, mom. What are you talking about?”