by Piper Rayne
Me: Girls, girls, girls. I’m in trouble.
Three dots appear immediately.
Chelsea: Already slept with him?
Victoria: You mean I won!?
Me: What are you talking about? No I haven’t slept with him and won what? Are you guys betting on my sex life?
Chelsea: For once I predicted later than Vic. She had you giving it up your first night there.
Victoria: Thanks, Chels. I just think…alone in a hotel room? You do the math.
Me: Well, I was able to keep my panties on, thank you.
Chelsea: What about your bra? Any motorboat action?
Me: And to think I was texting you guys for advice.
Victoria: We have to have a little fun. What’s up?
Chelsea: You can’t blame me, I need some fun in my life. Dean doesn’t want me even walking too far.
Me: Tell Dean you aren’t the first woman to carry a child. And I think I want to sleep with Roarke.
Victoria: Duh
Chelsea: I second the duh.
Me: Girls!?
Victoria: Han, you’ve wanted to sleep with him for months now.
Have I? No, I’ve definitely hated him.
Chelsea: What’s that saying? There’s a thin line between love and hate?
Victoria: Yep, that’s it.
Me: I don’t love the man.
Chelsea: No, but you want to sleep with him.
It’s annoying when they have a point.
Victoria: I’m the rational one, right?
Chelsea: I’m ignoring that assumption.
Me: What does that have to do with it?
Victoria: If you want him, explore it. Sleep with him and see what you feel after. You aren’t committing to walking down the aisle or anything.
Chelsea: He screwed her over. Hard to get past that.
Victoria: It was his JOB. He’s going to great lengths to make it up to her and seriously, Hannah, did he leave you destitute?
I chew on my inner lip. Of course not. But it’s the principle of the thing.
Chelsea: He still took half her shit.
Victoria: It’s a divorce, Chels. I know you and Dean didn’t have anything to split up, but I took half of Pete’s shit, too.
Chelsea: Pete’s a douche.
Victoria: Some days, but all Roarke did was his job. If Hannah had been his client, we’d be singing his praises right now.
Me: His reputation in Chicago is not exactly upstanding.
Victoria: Sure, but since when do you care what people think?
Match Point, Vic.
Chelsea: Vic, are you arguing for the defense now?
Victoria: Let’s say I had a conversation with Reed about the whole thing last night and the bastard made a good defensive argument about Roarke.
Me: You told him about me and Roarke?
Victoria: It’s Reed. He’s like a woman.
Chelsea: Um…yeah, no he’s not.
Me: I second Chelsea on that one.
Me: What was his argument?
Victoria: He said that Roarke seems to like you. That he’s going to great lengths to get you to like him, which isn’t his usual style. That Roarke walks around like he couldn’t give a shit that there’s probably ten hitmen after him at any one time. But that when it comes to you, he’s different and that usually means something when you’re a guy.
My heart softens thinking of Reed’s earlier revelation to me.
Chelsea: Damn Reed.
Victoria: Hannah, there’s no harm in letting him in a little.
Chelsea: If you’re already feeling something, it’s too late. You don’t have to give him the keys to the kingdom. Just let him sneak in the window one night. Maybe you win big.
Me: Or maybe I lose everything.
Chelsea: Nah, you can’t lose when you’re a millionaire. Lol
I stare down at my phone, my girlfriends’ advice ringing so close to what I’ve told them in the past.
Me: Thanks, ladies.
Victoria: Just jump, Hannah. We’ll catch you if he doesn’t.
I smile, even though they can’t see me.
Me: What would I do without you girls?
Chelsea: Live a really boring life. You want to talk about my bowel movements now?
Victoria: Shit, Jade’s calling me.
Me: Rehearsal’s about to start.
Chelsea: I knew that’d get everyone off this text string. ;)
I chuckle and silence my phone, shoving it inside my clutch.
Sitting there and waiting for things to begin, I contemplate all the girlfriends I’ve had in the past. None of them very loyal. All of them with agendas of their own. I have no doubt that Victoria speaks the truth. If Roarke breaks me, they’ll be there to piece me back together. And with that revelation, I make a conscious decision to give Roarke a real chance.
Chapter Nineteen
After the text convo with Chelsea and Victoria, Roarke appeared different to me. As he walked with Allie’s arm through his own down the aisle, his attractiveness notched up another level. His eyes found mine and I didn’t shift my gaze. After he pretends to give Allie away, he sits in the first pew next to his mother, and I yearn to feel his strong body next to mine.
The pastor finishes his pretend ceremony and instead of Allie and Wyatt pretending to kiss, they go at each other like they’ve been reunited after months apart. The groomsmen whistle and the bridesmaids clap.
I wonder if they fight on purpose for the make-up sex? I probably shouldn’t be thinking that in a church.
Roarke rises from his seat and stops at my pew, his hand out for me.
As I rise from my seat, my hand falls into his and he wastes no time in linking our fingers and escorting me out of the building.
“We have to go to dinner and then we’re free,” he whispers when everyone starts filing out to their cars.
“Where’s dinner?” I ask.
“We’re going to a restaurant on the outskirts of town.” He opens my door as usual and rounds the front of the Range Rover over to his side.
I spot his mom sliding into an older BMW while a man hops into the driver’s seat.
All the cars are in a procession line, winding through the streets of downtown Woods Parlor. After a minute or so, Roarke turns on some music to fill the silence in the car.
Chelsea and Victoria’s words continue to wreak havoc in my head. Both the devil and the angel are propped on my shoulders, each weighing in with their advice.
“You okay?” Roarke’s hand slides to my knee and a million shivers cascade up my thigh hitting the bullseye between my legs.
I stare over at him, seeing him for the man he is, the man I didn’t know he was, only weeks ago. “I didn’t know you at all.”
He tilts his head, briefly glancing at me, then shifting his eyes back to the road.
“You know me.”
“No, I thought I did.” I shake my head. “I’m woman enough to admit I was wrong.”
He parks in a deserted parking lot of a store without business banners in the windows, leaving the line of cars headed to the rehearsal dinner.
“I’m lost.” He cuts the engine, turning in his seat to face me.
“Is this whole thing an act? Like you hired these people to act like your family and say nice things about you?”
He chuckles more to himself than me. “They say nice things about me?”
“You know you’re like a hero in this town. Is that why you brought me? To brainwash me into thinking that man in Chicago isn’t real?” My hand feels for the handle and I pry the door open, needing air and maybe some distance from Roarke.
A second later, his door shuts and he’s at my side near the back of the truck.
“I’m not only the callous, unfeeling man you see me as when I’m working in the city. I’m also the son who still strives to make his mom proud even though he’s still filled with resentment for her. I’m the brother who wants to make his sister’s life easier and let her h
ave the dream of unconditional love neither of us grew up with. I’m the town quarterback who left and made something of himself who wants to give a younger version of himself a leg up. I’m the boy who got his heartbroken at a young age that defined his jagged line of thinking when it comes to trust.”
I lean on the back of the SUV, my hands clinging to the bumper. His declaration is so honest and pure.
“Did you practice that?” I ask softly.
He throws his hands up in the air and walks across the parking lot flattening the weeds sprouting up between the cracks. “No,” he bites out.
“Are you mad?”
“I’m starting to get mad. Yes. I get mad when I feel defeated.” He swivels around, his beauty and strength more visible against the backdrop of what failure looks like.
“I’m sorry. It’s just…” This time I give him my back, walking a few steps away.
My head is in a jumble. How on Earth can I want this man? The man I’ve loathed for the past year. The man I almost made a voodoo doll of. How did I allow him to weasel his way past my armor?
“It’s trust. I get it. In your eyes I deceived you. I’m the person you relate to the worst thing that ever happened to you.” His voice is near, but he keeps his distance. “I was a fool to think it’d be easy for you. Like I could charm my way in and expect you to forgive me.”
Tears well in my eyes and I clench my hands into fists to stop them from falling.
“I don’t know what to think. My divorce wasn’t a picnic, but I don’t blame you. You weren’t the one who cheated. You weren’t the one who wanted everything of mine. That’s on Todd.”
As I turn to face him, I notice he’s resting on the bumper of his car, his sunglasses off and his eyes on me. “I helped him get it though.”
“You did what you were supposed to do, I suppose.” It’s hard getting those words out of my mouth, even if they are the truth.
“You don’t really believe that in your heart though.” The corners of his lips tip down.
“I get that it was your job, but you have a reputation in Chicago. One where you go after the other party with a vengeance.”
His eyes lock with mine. “I will never apologize for the job I do. I’m one of the best in my field and I take pride in that. I don’t deliberately take everything from someone, but I do make sure my client doesn’t get screwed over because their spouse is hiding money. There are laws, Hannah, laws that people like to break. When someone makes the conscious decision to walk down the aisle and promise their future to someone else, it should be taken seriously. When they decide to have a child, those responsibilities shouldn’t be taken away once they decide they want to move on to someone else. I’m sorry I represented Todd in your divorce, but he got to me first. I’m sorry you see me as a monster who stole from you, but I got him what the law said was his. That’s all.”
I keep my gaze locked with his.
“How can you make that argument sound so noble?” The corners of my lips tip up a bit.
He smirks. “You’re not the first person I’ve had to defend my actions to.”
I roll my eyes. “So, you’ve gone after a client’s ex before?” The thought nearly sends me into a rage.
Standing, he stalks toward me. “When are you going to understand?” he asks, gripping my upper arms.
“What?”
“You’re the only one I want. I wanted for you to be over that marriage for an entire year. I’ve never pursued another client or a client’s spouse. I’m no saint, granted, but I’ve never wanted a woman to wake up in my bed more than I do you.” He pins me with an intense stare for a moment and I think that maybe he’s going to lean down and kiss me. Then he frowns and his forehead wrinkles. “But I’m starting to think this just isn’t going to work. You’re never going to forgive me.”
He releases his grip on my shoulders and turns to walk back to the SUV. I miss his eyes on me immediately.
“I do.” The words rush out of my mouth.
He glances over his shoulder and he must see something on my face because he turns around fully, not touching me but stepping so close we’re nearly chest to chest.
Our breaths are labored and fast. “You do what?” His voice is low.
“I…I forgive you.”
Whatever space was between us disappears as one of his hands clutch the back of my head and he pulls me flush to his body.
“No takebacks,” he says.
Giving me no time to answer, his lips crash against mine with ferocity. With one hand holding me where he wants me, his other hand slides to my back. He takes control of the kiss and I melt into his hold. All the doubts and indecision evaporate as we devour one another. His hand glides down my body and cups my ass, positioning me flush against the bulge in his slacks.
I ground against him, desperately seeking more friction. All weekend he’s had me on edge and I’m done fighting the growing heat between my thighs. I’m starving for a scream-worthy orgasm and there’s no doubt that Roarke would deliver multiple times.
At some point, while we’re all lips, tongue, and pent-up lust, he circles us around and my back hits the SUV. Stepping into me, he skims his hand from my ass to my thigh and steps into me, the friction growing.
“If our timing was different, I’d take you right here,” he murmurs against my lips and then slams them down on my mouth as though he can only handle not kissing me for a few short seconds.
“People.” I pull away from his lips and glance around.
Instead of stepping away, he thrusts into me, effectively hitting the center of wetness in my panties. “I don’t care about them. If this wasn’t going to be our first time, I’d already have you in the truck with ripped panties, but…” He leans in and kisses me slowly then cups my cheek. “Our first time will not be fast.” He presses his lips to mine in a chaste kiss.
“I’m good with fast.”
He chuckles, tucking another strand of my hair behind my ear. “You won’t be after I’ve had a whole night with you.”
I could melt into the concrete right here with that declaration and I can’t wait for him to prove himself right.
Roarke’s hand glides down my arm and disappears behind me, opening the vehicle door. He pats my hip with his other hand in a motion to tell me to climb in. “Let’s get this over with.”
I sit in the passenger seat of the Range Rover in a lust-filled daze waiting for Roarke to make his way to the driver’s seat. He climbs into the truck, puts the key in the ignition and then freezes.
“What’s the matter?” I ask.
He leans over and his lips land on mine, his body hovering over mine. The spark between us ignites into a fire and I grip the hairs on the back of his head, keeping him against me.
“We shouldn’t? Right?” he asks when he pulls away for a second.
I giggle like a lovesick teenage girl and run my hand along the light stubble on his cheeks. My thighs clench with thoughts of how that stubble will feel between them.
Before I have a chance to answer, his forehead falls to mine. “You need to work on your timing. You give me the green light when there’s no possible way of me having you.”
“Would you prefer a red light?” I ask, narrowing my eyes.
“Relax Firecracker. I’m kidding.”
“Good because…”
He shuts me up with another kiss and I sink into the soft leather seats reveling in his taste.
Too quickly he tears his lips from my mouth, pulls the seatbelt over my body, and starts the car.
“You’re so damn hard to resist. A chink in my willpower.” He shakes his head, more to himself than me I think.
I smile and look out the window. I shouldn’t like that I weaken him, but I do anyway. I like it a lot.
Chapter Twenty
It’s a bar-b-que buffet for the rehearsal dinner at a restaurant on the river’s edge with tables inside and outside. There are gas-lit fire pits with Adirondack chairs circling the flames. Kids run aro
und the green grass while men hang around the tables jabbering on about all the local news. Women sit in clumps sharing the latest gossip and for a second I feel like I entered the movie Steel Magnolias.
I sip my spiked lemonade, appraising the crowd.
Allie and Wyatt sit at a table with their friends, beer cans and Solo cups piled high in front of them.
Edie sits with her boyfriend and two other women, smoking, laughing and carrying on.
“What do you think?” Roarke’s hand winds around my waist and he pulls me to him, his head burrowing into my neck. My body hums as his lips land on the sensitive flesh.
“It’s nice.”
“It’s not the Ritz,” he murmurs, his teeth latching on to my earlobe.
My hand lands on his chest and I push him away. He’s too strong and stubborn though, his hand never leaves my hip.
“Pushing me away already?” he asks.
“If you keep talking like I’m some stuck up bitch who can’t enjoy anything other than the best, then yes. And the teasing isn’t appreciated.”
“I do love your firecracker side, but you should know it only makes me even hotter for you.”
I chuckle. “You’ll have to wait until later tonight.”
He sips his whiskey neat and then holds the cup down at his side.
“If I was a better man, I’d wait until we got back to Chicago. Lucky for you, I’m not.” He winks.
“If you keep latching on to my earlobe then you’ll be taking me in the women’s restroom.”
He chuckles. “You have no idea how hard it’s been the past two hours not to bend you over one of these tables and have my wicked way with you.” His hand slides off my hip to my ass and his fingers delve into my flesh.
I rise to my tiptoes and he steps in front of me, blocking us from bystanders. His lips millimeters from mine, I impatiently wait for him to claim them as his again.