by Piper Rayne
We wait in silence.
“Funny how you think I’m the one at fault.”
His eyes dig into mine. “You know what, before we start I want you to look back over the last month or so. I want you to remember how I was with you. I never lied. I was upfront about everything. My past. No one in this city knows my past, but you, because you came to Woods Parlor and saw it firsthand.”
I cross my hands over my chest. “You probably hired them all.”
He huffs and rolls his eyes. “Fine. Yes, Hannah. I hired an entire town to act like my family. I put those pictures in the glass case for you to find. I even made sure it was Liv that waited on us. I get that you have trust issues. I have them myself, but I would at least hear you out.”
The waiter comes over and places a gin and tonic with a lime on a small dish in front of me.
“Thank you. So sweet.” I’m overly pleasant to him.
Roarke gets an even more pissed off look on his face. I’ll admit that I kind of enjoy that look because it makes him appear even sexier. Funny how the tables have turned.
Once the waiter is a good distance away, Roarke pulls out a business card from the inside pocket of his suit and slides it over.
One Million Degrees. I pick up the rectangle cardboard in my hand and read it over. A non-profit.
“I’m on the board.”
“Good for you.” I place it down. “Do you want a pat on the back?”
He blows out an exhausted breath.
“I’m really trying here, Firecracker, but you’re not.” The hurt in his voice, as well as his pet name for me, cut me as deep as it did when I saw that woman holding a bra and panty set that she was going to model for him later that night.
“Fine.” I sip my gin and tonic. “Carry on.”
“The woman is receiving services from One Million Degrees. She left an abusive relationship and she’s been working and going to school at night. The program helps people like her get a fresh start, so they can do something positive with their life. I’d taken her to Bloomingdale’s to get her a suit for an interview she had coming up. I’m not really supposed to go that above and beyond but I know what it’s like to walk into an interview room and not be dressed the part. To feel like you’re going to fail before you’ve even begun.”
“And that includes bra and panties?”
He holds his hands up in the air. “I know that looked horrible. I was keeping Reese busy so she could shop.”
“You were buying her the intimates, too?”
“I was.” No apology in his tone.
“Nice.” I narrow my eyes at him.
“How do you feel when you put on a new bra and panty set? Let’s say before a date. Does it make you feel sexier, bolder?”
He leans forward and I hate that he’s able to somehow make a point with this. The fact is he was buying another woman lingerie.
“I’m going to go out on a limb and say yes. Maybe you don’t know what it’s like to wear years’ old cotton underwear or a bra with one underwire missing. It doesn’t exactly help you feel like you’re the best there is out there. I’m not going to defend my actions, Hannah. I didn’t have her model them for me and I would never cross that line with someone from the charity whether you were or were not in the picture. In fact, I’d already given the sales lady my credit card. If you hadn’t stormed in there with your girl squad, I never would have seen the undergarments in the first place.”
“You’re blaming me?” I point to my chest.
“I’m not blaming you,” he says through clenched teeth. “The only thing I’ll apologize for is not telling you what I was doing. I left that night because her ex-husband showed up drunk and pounding on her door. She ended up calling the police. Reese was so scared I ended up staying over there until she fell asleep. I should’ve told you that day, but you were taking me to meet your parents and I didn’t want you having any doubts that I’m the right man for you.” He takes a healthy sip of his drink.
“Why did your shirt from that night smell like perfume?”
I thought I’d get a look of surprise or pissed off expression since I’m testing him again, but I get neither of those, only a calm facade.
“Reese had been playing in her mom’s things, spraying perfume. Although I shouldn’t be telling you this, but I am because I desperately want this behind us. Sonya is another woman I’ve helped. Jett as well. There are many others spread all over this city and if I have to bring each one here to convince you I’m telling the truth, I will.”
Tears prick my eyes and I inspect the business card again. I’ve heard of programs similar to this. How can I honestly be mad at him for helping those less fortunate?
“I have to go.” I slide out of the booth, all my emotions of the past few weeks suddenly too overwhelming, too convoluted to decipher.
“What? No.” He stands to follow me and I turn around sharply, my hand landing on his suit vest.
I take in his appearance one more time. He’s the dressed-for-success Roarke, the one I like the least. Maybe because it reminds me of my failed marriage or the way I despised him when I didn’t even know him.
Feeling the softness of the vest with the buttons, I want nothing more than to step into him and let him convince me that I’m not crazy. That I won’t always think the worst of any man in my life. That one day I’ll trust someone when they say they only want me. That a year isn’t long enough for anyone to push away all the fear the dissolution of my marriage brought on.
“I’m sorry I drew the wrong conclusions. I should have asked when I first started to suspect something but I was so sure, and I wanted to burn you at the stake. I wanted to have the upper hand when I confronted you. I see now how demented that sounds. I thought I was ready for a relationship but I see now that I’m not.”
“No.” His forehead creases. “Hannah,” he pleads, his voice cracking.
I shake my head, stepping closer just to feel his lips to mine one last time. “I never intended to fall for you, but I did.” I rise on my tiptoes and press my lips to his.
He stands there looking stunned at how this has played out.
“Always remember my feelings for you were real, but you deserve someone who won’t be assuming the worst from you at every turn. Someone you don’t have to argue your case to over and over again. I hope you find her.”
I step back, my hand falling from his vest.
As I walk away this time he doesn’t follow me and I’m glad because I don’t think I would have the strength to keep walking away if he tried to stop me. But it’s what’s best for him.
When I open the door to step outside, he calls out behind me, “You still owe me one favor, Firecracker, and I will cash it in.”
Chapter Thirty-One
It’s been an entire week and no word from Roarke, which I keep telling myself is a good thing. I’ve spent my time preparing for the gala to keep my mind far away from my broken heart and how I singlehandedly ruined everything.
“So, everything is going as planned.” Chelsea comes into my office looking like her old self. No one can tell she’s pregnant, she’s yet to get that baby bump, or if she has it, she’s hiding it well. Gone is the sweets addiction and crying jags which confirm that when one of us is down the other two rise up to take the reins. I’d hoped I would be more of a help in these final stages of planning, but without her and Victoria, the gala would have been a write-off.
She sets a manila folder on my desk.
“What’s this?” I ask.
“It’s everything we need tomorrow, just in case. You have copies and I have copies. All the contacts for everyone involved. Jett, the bakery, the florist. There’s a list of the times everyone is set to speak.” She sits down in front of me. “Everything except for one thing. A certain silver fox didn’t retract his invitation.” She raises her eyebrows my way and my gut churns.
“Do you really think he’d come and make a scene?” I ask a stupid question because this is Roarke Baldwi
n. Of course he would.
“Yeah, I do. That’s why I hired two bodyguards to stand guard at the entrance. I’ve given them Roarke’s photograph so they’re to stop him from entering.”
My jaw hangs. “You didn’t?”
“No, but if you want me to, I will. I have connections.” She waggles her eyebrows and I have no doubt that she does. “But from the look of fear in your eyes, my guess is you wouldn’t mind an embarrassing act by him?”
She knows me so well after the short time that we’ve been friends.
“I miss him. Lucy misses Nickel. Do you think it will go away? Like one day I’ll wake up and feel like he was never a part of my life? How can I become so invested in someone after only months?”
Chelsea laughs. “You’re talking to the wrong girl. Are you sure you made the right decision ending things?”
“Yeah, it’s the right decision. One day he’ll see I’m right.”
Her concern means a lot because when I told Chelsea and Victoria that I walked away after they thought I was crazy. They didn’t say it out loud, but I can see it in their eyes and body language.
But I was right to leave him free to find someone who could give him what he deserves. He was right—I could have asked. He’d never lied to me. He apologized for not telling me that morning but he had a good reason to why he didn’t. I never thought the saying ‘if you love something enough set it free’ was true. But it is. Because I love Roarke too much to put him through my tests every time he says he has to work late.
I need to sort myself out. Apparently, I don’t have it as together as I thought after my divorce.
Chelsea rises from her chair, the same expression on her face from a week ago when I told her and Victoria what I did at Torrio’s. “Whatever you say. I’ll see you tomorrow night.”
“Thanks for everything, Chelsea.”
She stops at the door, a smile on her face. “Always, Han. That’s what friends are for.”
The next night I’m getting ready for the gala when Gwen walks into my bathroom.
“You look stunning, Montana,” she says.
Whereas I’m dressed in a long elegant gown, she’s in a short sequin dress with a large tulle skirt with fishnet stockings. As if the dress itself isn’t going to give my mom a coronary, she has a cut off white t-shirt with big black letters that read Girl Power.
“Shocking as usual.” I smile at her in the mirror.
“I refuse to conform. Olive should love it don’t you think?”
“I think the girls will love it and you, of course.”
She sits on the side of the tub, watching me put my makeup on. Her heavy black eyeliner and mascara applied flawlessly looks great with her pink lipstick.
“I was thinking last night after you went to bed.”
“You thinking? I’m shocked.” I chuckle.
She sticks her tongue out at me through the mirror. “I’m not just a fabulous pair of tits and ass.”
I laugh, deserting the thought of applying my lipstick when she’s in this mood.
“I think you’re being really hard on yourself.”
“No Gwen.” I shake my head, turning back to the mirror, plumping my lips to apply my lipstick. I’ll take any excuse to avoid this conversation with yet another person.
“Since when did you ever think you could boss me around?” She raises her perfectly arched eyebrows, crossing her legs.
Gwen is right. She’s always challenged me and usually made me a better person for it.
“I think that it’s over. What’s wrong with being single. You are.” I shrug.
She laughs. “By choice. You’re hurting yourself and I’m not going to sit back and watch you do it. Todd was an asshole. I told you that from day one. He was spineless. I always said you needed a man who would challenge you, and from what I hear of this Roarke guy, that’s him.”
I set the lipstick on the counter and spin around to face her. “You don’t even know him.”
“You’re forgetting I sat in the courtroom when that divorce was finalized. I’m the one who took you out for drinks in celebration of shedding one hundred and ninety pounds of grade A asshole.”
I giggle. God, have I missed her.
“True.”
“I would’ve slipped him my phone number had you not already staked your claim.”
She comes over and sits on the counter next to me.
“I hated him.”
Her shoulders rise up and down. “You sure about that?”
“Yes, I’m sure.”
“He was all you could talk about that night.”
“Because I was pissed. He helped Todd take my money.” I pick the lipstick back up and slide it across my lips.
“That’s not what you said as you were passing out and slurring your words.” She’s got her ‘I’ve got a secret expression’ on her face. The same one she had before she told me she lost her virginity.
I stop and lean my hip on the counter. “Are you really going to make me ask?”
Her laughter echoes in the small room. “You said you wanted to fall to your knees, unzip his slacks, and see if he’s the man you think he is. You wanted to blow—”
I hold my hand up. “Got it, Gwen. I’d also drank half a bottle of Patron.”
“You know I always say that the truth comes out when you’re high or drunk.” She hops down from the countertop and lingers in the doorway. “I’m just going to say one more thing and then I’ll leave you alone about it. You are an amazing woman and you’re stronger than you think. I might be the only person who saw how hard it was for you when you found out Todd was cheating. I know you see yourself as some damaged person, but you’re not. You’re a beautiful, independent woman who rose up out of the ashes to do something meaningful with her life. And if Roarke is the man I think he is, he’d rather have you and support you while you work through your stuff, than not have you at all.”
I turn and open my mouth to respond but she’s gone. Always the one to say her thoughts and disappear.
Inspecting myself one last time, I can almost feel Roarke behind me, kissing my shoulder like he always did, telling me how beautiful I am. Reassuring me I’m the only one for him.
I blink and see it’s just me and it’s the first time in over a week that I debate if I really did make the right decision.
Chapter Thirty-Two
I walk into the gala and a real smile creases my lips for the first time since everything went to shit with Roarke.
The simple vases with clusters of white roses and greenery on each table under the pleated white tent give off a casual elegant vibe. A makeshift dance floor is surrounded by tables of eight covered in white tablecloths and the tent is open along the sides so you can see the city skyline.
“You like?” Sonya approaches me wearing a nice pink dress and heels, her name tag in place.
“I love. It’s beautiful.”
“May I walk you around?”
The waitstaff are dressed in classic black and white and flit between tables, filling the water glasses while others straighten the flower arrangements and place cards.
“Definitely.”
“So we have the champagne toast ready go after the final speech.” She points to the back kitchen. “Over here we arranged a black light room for the girls to write inspiring messages in neon colors.”
The entire blocked off room has black dry erase boards with pink, yellow, blue and green neon markers ready to be used.
“I love it.”
“I was a little unsure because I know you wanted elegant but since some of the girls and families were going to be here, I figured it could work. I ran the idea by Chelsea and she seemed to agree so we went ahead with it.” She leads me over to a long table covered in gift baskets. “This is the silent auction. Whoever hustled to get these did an awesome job. You’ve got Cubs packages, Blackhawks, a weekend getaway at The Drake, someone even donated a five day trip to Napa with the use of a private jet. It’s crazy how m
uch money is in this city. We’ll be doing the live auction right after dinner while dessert is being served with the other items.”
Her enthusiasm is catching and I love that she seems as excited as I am about all this. “Everything is perfect.”
She smiles, winding through the tables. “I wasn’t sure how you’ll feel about this next part...Chelsea and I had discussed it but she mentioned you’ve been out of the office a lot the last week. I’m so happy you’re feeling better.”
I nod but say nothing.
“We decided instead of seating all the speakers together, that we’d sprinkle them in with the families. So the six Winter Classics athletes have been split up in groups of two to sit at tables with users of the programs. I hope that’s okay, but we thought if they saw the difference the foundation is making, they’d be more likely to either donate their time or money at a later date. And I think it will make everyone feel included and equal. I’m not sure if Roarke told you, but I used a non-profit company to get help when I was struggling in community college. The interview training helped me land this job. I just didn’t want the people who were part of the RISE Foundation’s generosity to feel any separation from the people funding the foundation.” Her cheeks blush with a slight pink that matches her dress. “Does that sound terrible? I hadn’t meant it to be.”
Her innocence and insightfulness amazes me. “It sounded beautiful and very well thought out. Thank you so much for thinking of it.”
She shrugs and touches my arm. “I’m so grateful to the One Million Degrees program and that’s why I had no problem bumping a profit event for yours.” She winks. “Between us of course.”
I’m floored by her candidness. “Of course. I’m so happy you got the help you needed to succeed.”
She smiles and heads to the podium. “The sound and video guy have the ads ready to go. They’ll play those right after the speeches and before the dinner.”
“Sonya, I’m truly amazed at how wonderful everything has been planned out.”
“Oh!” she exclaims but tapers down her reaction checking to make sure no one noticed. “Don’t even ask how, but we got fireworks. They’ll go off at ten thirty for fifteen minutes before the end of the evening. Called it another favor.”