by Hamel, B. B.
“Yeah? Really?”
“We’re going to kill some of your uncle’s guys.” I sat down on the couch. “You good with that?”
The color drained from her face. “Do you want me to… do it?”
I laughed. I couldn’t help myself. “Hell no. I’m not insane. Of course you’re not going to kill anyone.”
“Oh.” Relief flooded her face. “Okay then.”
“You’re coming along for the ride though. I want you to see what this is all about.”
“I know what you do. I’ve seen it twice now.”
I nodded slow. “Yeah, I know. But I want you to get used to it, little birdie.”
She chewed her food, stared at me, and didn’t respond.
Fine by me. I grabbed my plate and dug in.
* * *
The address Hedeon sent was an empty lot on the corner of Twenty-Second and Diamond. There wasn’t much around. Most houses were beat up, their tiny patches of yard overgrown with weeds. A check-cashing place looked like it was still open, the sign glowing sickly yellow. I spotted Pavel under one of two trees in the entire lot smoking a cigarette. The cherry glowed red in the darkness as I parked behind his beat-up station wagon.
“Come on,” I said.
“Is that the guy from that first night?”
“Pavel. He’s fine. He’ll follow orders.”
She didn’t move.
I put my hand on her knee.
“It’s fine,” I said. “Come on.”
I got out and walked around the car. I saw Robin stare at me then open her door and follow.
Pavel flicked his cigarette away as I approached. He wore a brown leather jacket with wide lapels and a button-down denim shirt over dark denim jeans. His boots were worn and scuffed.
Across the street, houses were boarded up. An ACE Discount hardware store had metal curtains over its windows.
“You’re late,” he said.
“Fuck off. What’s the plan?”
He grunted and took out another cigarette. Pavel only ever chain-smoked when he was feeling nervous. He lit up and took a deep drag. His eyes drifted over my shoulder and fell on Robin.
“What the fuck is she doing here?”
“She’s with me now,” I said.
“Jesus Christ, Leo. What in the hell is wrong with you? You can’t bring a bitch to this. You can’t—”
I stepped forward and slapped the cigarette from between his lips.
“Insult her again, it’ll be your face. A third time, and it’ll be a fist. Got me?”
“Dick.” He stooped over, picked up the cigarette, and lit it again. He took a drag and sprayed smoke out his nose. “All right, here’s the deal. Some bitch boyeviks that work for Maksim sell on a corner a few blocks north.” He gestured in the vague direction. “Plan’s simple. We roll up in mine, you light them up, we roll away. Simple drive-by, bing bang boom.” He made a finger gun and pretended to shoot it.
“Seems easy,” I said. “Also really, really weird.”
“How’s that?”
“Think about it. Does this seem like a bustling neighborhood?”
“It’s North Philly. Nothing’s bustling up here.”
“Even still.”
“Maksim owns these streets. The Italians got everything south of the parkway, south of City Hall. This is all he’s got right now.”
“Seems like it’s not much.”
“Better than what we got.”
I grunted at that and looked over my shoulder. “You hearing this, little birdie?”
She nodded, arms crossed over her chest. She wore a dark sweatshirt and her hair was up in a tight bun.
“I’m listening.”
“It sound right to you?”
She shook her head. “How the hell would I know?”
“You’re in the family.”
“They don’t tell me anything about selling drugs. I just worked in the diner and babysat my cousin.”
I grunted and shook my head. “All right then,” I said. “Guess we’re on for this.”
“Good.” Pavel took a last drag, flicked the butt away. “Come on. I want to be home in an hour. Got a decent bottle of whiskey waiting for me.”
I nodded and gestured for Robin to follow. I opened the back door of Pavel’s station wagon and she climbed in. The car smelled like smoke and beer. The fake wood siding was peeling from the doors. I got in the driver’s side and popped open his glove compartment.
A small semi-automatic Uzi waited for me inside. I checked the magazine, pulled the bolt. “Where’d you get this?”
“Hedeon dropped it off. It’s clean.”
I nodded. “Got a rag?”
“In there.” He gestured at the glove box.
I found a cotton handkerchief and put the gun on top of it in my lap. Pavel pulled out and headed toward the spot.
I watched out the windows. There was nobody around. Nobody on the stoops of the low income housing, nobody in the large open fields that dotted each corner of almost every block.
The only businesses open were Chinese food places, pawn shops, and check-cashing stores. There was a single bar named HERE IT IS with a glowing blue sign and a single bouncer out front.
But otherwise, it was quiet.
“Something feels off,” I said.
“I feel it too,” Robin said. “Who are they selling to out here?”
“Hedeon said this was the time and place,” Pavel said. “What the fuck are you two arguing about it for? We’re doing this shit.”
“It just seems off,” Robin said. “I mean, what’s my uncle doing selling drugs out here? He had better territory than this, right? And the boyeviks—”
“Why the fuck is she talking?” Pavel asked.
“Shut up,” I said. “Finish what you were saying, Robin.”
“The boyeviks, they’re like, important soldiers, right? They’re not just stupid street thugs. So why would more than one of them be out selling drugs when they could make money doing other things?”
I nodded slowly. She was saying out loud everything I’d been thinking.
“Let’s go back,” I said. “We’ll talk to Hedeon, maybe do it another time if the info is right. We don’t need to do this tonight.”
“Fuck that,” Pavel said. “We’re here. We’re doing it.”
“Pavel.” I leaned toward him. “Turn the car around.”
“Hell no. It’s just up ahead. Get the gun ready.”
I grunted in anger as Pavel rolled through a stop sign and made a left.
It was a quiet residential street. There was barely enough room for cars to park on the left. One enterprising local parked half on the sidewalk on the right, and Pavel barely squeezed through. The houses were quiet, mostly brick facades, though a few at the end had vinyl siding with yellow and orange awnings over fenced-in front porches.
“Up there,” Pavel said. “On your side. Empty field. They should be in there.”
“Nobody’s there,” I said, squinting in to the dark. “Stop the car.”
“I’m not stopping. Get ready. Get the window down.”
“Stop the car,” I said.
“Guys,” Robin said. “Something’s weird. I think—”
“Stop the car, Pavel.”
“Fuck that. Start shooting, motherfucker.”
“Guys!”
I looked back. “What?”
“Car!” Robin pointed through the back windshield.
A big black SUV was parked across the road, blocking our way out.
“Fuck,” I said. “Pavel, gun it now.”
Ahead, two cars pulled out from an alley on either side of the road. They were smaller silver sedans with their lights turned off. They bumped each other and formed a road block.
“Oh, shit,” Pavel said.
The doors to the houses on either side of us opened and armed men flooded out. The front few knelt down with guns pointed while the back ones stayed standing.
Pavel hit the gas and the station wag
on jumped forward as they opened fire.
“Get down!” I yelled.
Robin screamed and fell forward onto the floor. I leaned out the window and opened fire, shooting wildly. I couldn’t see them as Pavel drove ahead, the wind whipping my hair. I could only aim at their muzzle flashes.
“Hold on,” Pavel said.
He whipped the wheel and the station wagon screamed. It jumped up over the curb and my head slammed against the top of the window frame.
“Fuck,” I said and came back inside.
Pavel took the car left down the alley. I reloaded the magazine and fired more shots off behind us. The alley was dirt and gravel, and it ended on the next street over. The station wagon slammed into a screaming turn that shoved me against the window.
Gunfire lit up the night as more guys came out from the houses nearby. Pavel shouted something and drove forward going the wrong way down a one-way street. We reached the major intersection and turned left, flying into traffic, clipping a car ahead of us. The station wagon almost spun out, but Pavel got it straight again and drove fast.
The gunfire faded into the background.
“Anyone hurt?” I asked and looked into the back seat. “Robin, are you okay?”
“I’m okay.” Her voice was shaky and her face was pale, but she seemed okay.
“Fuck,” Pavel said.
His hand pressed against his side and blood welled up from a wound in his chest. A bullet must’ve just missed his heart.
“Okay,” I said. “Okay, you’re going to be okay. Turn the car around, get us back to my car.”
Pavel coughed and blood splattered the wheel.
“Shit,” he groaned.
“That’s not good,” Robin said.
I gave her a look then put a hand on Pavel’s shoulder. “Get the car turned around. One thing after another. Keep breathing.”
He nodded and took shallow breaths. He pulled a U-turn right in traffic and sped back toward where we’d originally met up. When we reached the empty lot, he parked half on the sidewalk and killed the engine.
“Come on,” I said. “We’re ditching this car.” I got out and Robin followed.
Pavel opened his door, managed a couple steps, then fell flat on his face.
Blood pooled around him.
“Oh my god,” Robin said. “Is he dead? Leo? Is he dead?”
I walked around the car and flipped Pavel onto his back. He took short, sharp breaths. Blood bubbled up at his lips.
“Bullet hit his lungs,” I said. “Might’ve hit a major artery too. He’s lucky he didn’t bleed out faster.”
“What are we going to do? He needs a hospital. Leo—”
I stood up, held the Uzi out, and shot Pavel in the head.
Robin screamed.
I took the handkerchief and wiped my fingerprints off the gun. Once that was done, I dropped it down on Pavel’s chest.
“Sorry,” I said, my voice soft.
“Why did you do that?” Robin said through sobs. “Why did you kill him? He wasn’t dead. You just killed him, you just—”
I turned, grabbed her arm, and pulled her to my car. “Get in.”
“No.” She sobbed, tried to fight me.
“You want to end up like him? Get in the fucking car.”
She sucked in a hard breath then let me guide her into the passenger side.
I got behind the wheel and pulled out, driving fast away from Pavel’s dead body and our botched hit.
10
Robin
I sat on the bed with my knees pulled up to my chest and stared at the bedspread. I took a shower as soon as we got back but even the scalding hot water couldn’t clean away the memory of Leo killing Pavel right there in front of me.
He knocked at the door. I didn’t say anything. I couldn’t think of what to say. He opened the door and leaned against the frame, arms crossed.
“I know what you’re thinking,” he said.
“No, you don’t.”
“You think we could’ve saved him.”
“He wasn’t dead.”
“I know.” He took a deep breath. “But he would’ve been. We’re a decent crew, but we’re not a strong one yet. We don’t have a doctor on call that could’ve saved him. He needed major surgery. That would’ve meant a hospital. Maybe the Leones could’ve done it, or maybe the Volkovs in their prime, but we don’t have the resources.”
“So you just put him down like… like a dog?”
“Pavel knew what he got himself into.”
“He didn’t deserve that.”
Leo snorted. “You didn’t know Pavel. He wanted to kill you, remember?”
I frowned and looked away. “I remember. You don’t have to remind me.”
“Pavel was a piece of shit. If he’d listened to us, he’d be alive now. But he didn’t and now he’s fucking dead. I could’ve dragged his corpse back to Hedeon’s place, but then he would’ve just died there. Better to give him a quick death and be done with it. That’s what I would want.”
I stared at him and tried to make sense of everything. I felt like I could barely think straight. I’d seen him kill three men already, and it was slowly dawning on me that I was going to see him kill a lot more than that before this was all over.
If it would ever end.
He came into the room and sat on the edge of the bed next to me. I had the strangest desire to reach out and touch his back, to run my fingers down the curve of his spine, but I stopped myself.
“This isn’t how I wanted this to go,” he said. “I shouldn’t have brought you tonight. And I’m sorry for that.”
“How can you live like this?” I asked. “How can with live with it?”
He shook his head. “It gets easier. I’ve lost people before. Had to put people down that were suffering. It’s never easy, but it’s easier.”
“Don’t you feel anything?”
He looked at me, eyes hard. “It weighs on me. But I do what I have to do. For my family, for my crew. For those I care about.”
“Who do you care about? You don’t seem to care about anything except yourself.”
A flash of anger. It surprised me and I flinched away from it.
“I care about Hedeon,” he said. “I cared about Pavel in my own fucked-up way, even though he was a piece of shit. I care about the other guys in our crew, guys I’ve known for years, guys you might not ever meet. I care about you.”
“Me?” I laughed. “Why would you care about me? You don’t even know me.”
“I saved you twice. I’ll do it again if I have to.”
“But why? I don’t understand why you’re dragging me along.”
“You chose this, remember? I’m not dragging you anywhere.” He leaned toward me and I felt a sudden surge of rage.
“Like you gave me much choice.”
He laughed, bitter and harsh. He reached out and took my hair. I gasped as he pulled me closer to him. I felt his muscular arms and stared at his gorgeous lips as they parted and his tongue ran along their rim.
“You could’ve run,” he said. “You could’ve fought. Instead, you got angry, and you want revenge. Welcome to the real world, little birdie. Welcome to the game. Guys get killed in this, and you’re going to have to get used to it.”
I struggled. “Let me go.”
“Make me.”
I hit his chest. He just smirked.
“I’m not like you. It doesn’t just roll off my back.”
His grip tightened. “It doesn’t roll off mine. But I deal with it.”
I stared into his eyes. “I want to deal. I just don’t know how.”
He kissed me then.
For half a second, I thought I might scream.
Instead, I moaned.
And felt so, so guilty.
God, I moaned into his kiss. And the image of Pavel dying slowly began to fade in my mind.
Replaced by a desire for Leo so powerful that I knew I couldn’t hold it back.
All the an
ger, the sadness, the fear, it all came spilling back out of me, through my kiss. He ran his hands through my hair and tightened his grip, pulling me closer against his lips. I tasted his tongue and let his other hand roam down my back in slow, graceful circles.
I groaned. I couldn’t help it.
I felt so wrong and so good. It drove me wild.
“I can help you,” he said, voice rough. “I can make you feel better, if you let me. If you let go and let me.”
“I want it.”
“Good.” He pushed me back and knelt down in front of me. I gasped and propped myself up on my elbows, staring at him open-mouthed. He wasn’t gentle as he took my pants off, stripping me down and tossing them aside.
He kissed my inner thigh, licked my skin, and ran his hands up my stomach, up my shirt, to tease my breasts.
I tossed my head back as he moved his hands back down and shoved my legs wider.
His tongue felt like heaven. Even gentle, even slow, it felt like fire and passion. He teased me with his fingers first, spreading me wide, then circled the tip of his tongue around my clit. I moaned, unable to help myself. I felt so wrong, so good.
I gave myself to him.
“That’s right,” he said as his fingers teased me some more then slid deep inside. “You need to feel good again. I need to remind you what it’s like to feel alive. Tell me you want me to lick this pussy, suck your clit nice and slow until you come on my lips. Tell me you want it.”
“I want it.”
“Tell me you need it.”
“I need it.”
He pressed his fingers deeper. “Tell me you’ll do what I want, when I say it.”
“I’ll do it.” I moaned again, breathing hard. Sweat beaded on my skin. His eyes were liquid fire and so beautiful.
He began to lick me again. This time, he went faster, tongue lapping me up, lips sucking me softly. I grabbed his hair with one hand and rolled my hips against his mouth. He went with my pace, sucking me, licking me, his fingers sliding inside to fuck me before pulling back out.
All the horror went away. Pavel, my family, everything disappeared. It didn’t matter anymore.
There was only Leo, his lips on my clit, his fingers on my pussy.
“Oh, god,” I whispered. “Oh my god, yes.”
“I know what you need. I know when you need it. Even if you think you’re some mystery, you’re not, little birdie. I can read you like a book and take you, open you up, use you whenever I please. I’m tired of pretending like you’re some fragile little thing.”