Gentleman Playboy

by Alam, Donna

  Still silent, I stare back as he moves from the sofa, brushing past my body on his way out. I follow automatically as he turns.

  ‘You’re going to the door dressed like that?’ He frowns, looking down at my legs.

  ‘I want to make damn sure you’ve gone.’

  ‘Then put on some shorts. Or maybe you like me staring at you.’ He steps closer, crowding me, his hand reaching for my face. ‘Maybe you want me to kiss you goodbye.’

  My eyes shoot wide in astonishment. ‘Get. Out. Which part of that do you not understand? I don’t want you here. I don’t want you staring at me and I bloody well don’t want to kiss you! And for the record, if I want to walk around in my knickers, I will. If I want to cartwheel down the main drag tit-arsed naked I will, and there’s not a thing you can do about it!’

  I push him with the tips of my fingers in the direction of the door, briefly considering a nudey run down the front steps.

  Stumbling backwards, he steadies himself with a hand against the wall. ‘If you want to embarrass yourself, go ahead.’

  ‘Embarrassed?’ I stretch around him, grabbing the door latch. ‘If I want to be degraded any time in the future, I know where to find you, yeah?’

  As I pull on the door, he stops it with his foot drawing me to his chest. His body feels alien, strange, its contours now unfamiliar as my arms lie limp by my sides.

  ‘You’re angry. It means you care. Don’t make me go, Katie,’ he whispers tightening his grasp.

  I so don’t have the energy for this.

  His hand slides to the curve of my butt as I swing the door ajar, an arc of bright daylight shining into the hall. My eyes widen in astonishment, with incredulity. What the fuck is he on?

  ‘Does no one ever listen to a word I say?’

  ‘I’d be interested.’

  That voice. God, I’d almost forgotten its effect on me.

  My head whips around and there he stands. Kai.

  Chapter Fifty-Nine

  ‘Kai.’

  The word is whispered into Shane’s t-shirt, my heart hitting the acid in the pit of my stomach, where it twists and lurches in shock. I’m standing at the doorway. In my undies. With the wrong guy’s hand on my arse. Even I can see how this looks. Pushing away from Shane, I lean against the now open door.

  Kai’s face is emotionless as he eyes Shane and my state of undress. He looks weary, not his usual well pulled together self. Jeans, a light jacket, and washed-out, sallow skin.

  Unthinking, I step outside. I think under the circumstances, I’m not required to supply excuses but I find myself doing it anyway. Hating myself as the words leave my mouth. ‘It’s not how it looks.’

  The corner of his mouth rises, an almost regretful motion. ‘It rarely is.’

  I’m in front of him without recalling movement, arms hanging by my sides. I curl my hands into fists to stop myself from reaching out; boundaries slamming between us like a sudden brick wall.

  ‘The tool from your apartment,’ Shane says with a snort. ‘Want me to make him leave, babe?’

  Kai’s gaze moves slowly from mine, and I think if looks could kill, he’d make a great assassin. The glare he sends Shane’s way is arctic, like he’s beneath deserving further breath. I expect to hear that drawling, languid tone of his telling Shane he couldn’t manage it last time, but instead, his eyes soften and refocus on me.

  ‘Do you want me to?’ Shane repeats, or maybe interrupts, as Kai and I just stare at each other.

  I don’t speak. I don’t trust myself to because the answer is no, despite all that Kai’s done. That he’s followed me doesn’t change anything. It doesn’t make me hurt any less and I won’t change my mind. But I can just look at him, can’t I? Remember what I thought we had?

  ‘I thought—your mum said . . .’ Shane’s words trail away, his tone then rising. ‘Fuck it, Katie, why did you come back here?’

  ‘What the bloody hell is going on?’ a gruff voice calls from the hall. ‘What are you doing out there in your underwear, young lady? Have some respect.’

  My stepfather Geoff appears at the door, pushing past Shane’s taller frame.

  ‘God give me strength,’ I murmur, though I doubt even God has anything to add to this cluster-fuck. ‘Is my arse so offensive? It’s not like there’s anyone around, and for Christ sakes, I’m wearing boy shorts, not a thong.’

  Both Geoff and Shane look down at my feet as Kai represses a smirk.

  ‘Is this what you’ve brought back from the war zone, bad language and attitude?’

  ‘Far out,’ I antagonize in an undertone. ‘People go to Dubai for holidays, not jihad, Geoff. If you were expecting me to come home in a burka, you can see you were wrong.’ I gesture to my undies flamboyantly. I may as well stick out my tongue.

  There follows scolding, grievances, and words of complaint. I don’t listen. I can only look at Kai.

  ‘See ‘ya, Geoff,’ Shane calls over his shoulder as he pushes through the door. ‘No point hanging around now she’s fucked the show-pony over there.’

  Kai’s hand almost touches my shoulder before he steps in front, halting Shane’s steps. ‘Fucked? Strange, wasn’t that what you did to your chance with Kate?’

  ‘What’s it got to do with you?’

  ‘She came back.’ His answer is frighteningly soft, his body language almost conciliatory and belying the thunderous look on his face. ‘But not for you.’

  Shane’s mouth works without sound as he scrambles for an answer. His head swings to mine as though expecting me to butt in. Refute.

  ‘She’s worth more than you. More than both of us,’ Kai adds.

  Shane’s mouth closes with a snap and he stalks to his car. Yanking open the driver’s door, he pauses for his parting shot. ‘Katie—you know what? Fuck you both, I hope you’ll make each other miserable.’

  Brakes squeal as he tears down the empty street.

  ‘What have you done now? Who’s this fella?’ Geoff’s voice cuts through the sound of distant tyres.

  ‘What have I done? That’s bloody rich.’ I can’t look at Geoff, can’t move my eyes from Kai. ‘Why are you here?’ I ask quietly.

  ‘Because you left me.’

  I curl my toes against the gravel but don’t move despite longing to. ‘What, Sofia not enough? Funny, she seemed pretty much at home on her knees.’

  ‘Katherine, for goodness’ sakes. Come inside this minute! What will the neighbours think?’ Mum joins the circus. There may as well be a big-top pitched in the front yard. Her fingers clutch the neck of a peony-coloured robe, her head swinging back and forth, the rollers in her hair doing a strange bobble dance. ‘Why is Shane leaving, Geoff? What’s happening?’

  ‘Listen to your elders for once, girly. That bloke came here to tell you he’s sorry, to beg for another chance. And, if you ask me, he deserves a fair go. A fair bloody crack of the whip.’

  I burst into laughter, great big rib jarring guffaws. ‘Whip? D’you think that’d be something he’d be into, Geoff? I dunno, he never struck me as that type before. Struck—ha!’ My ribs ache under the effort as I curl into myself, borderline hysterical.

  Geoff pushes past my mum, disappearing into the house amid a cloud of muttered disappointments. My laughter stops immediately, like a flipped switch as I turn to face her.

  ‘It’s not my fault you didn’t have more kids. Why does he blame me?’

  This is the apathy of his parenthood. I’m not his, and I’ve had a lifetime of trying to fit the mould of his picture-perfect, mythical child. I’m done trying to be the pseudo-perfect daughter. The nice girl who always does as she’s told.

  ‘Katherine!’

  ‘Don’t, Mum. I love you, but I’ve had it. I’m not living like this anymore. Just go inside or . . . or . . . I’ll streak butt-naked down the street.’ I reach for the hem of my t-shirt and tug.

  Craning her head out of the door, she does an uneasy sweep of the street before her eyes alight on mine. ‘Well . . . don’t you sta
y out here long,’ she admonishes, leaving the door ajar. ‘And put some shorts on.’

  ‘Alone at last.’ With a hesitant smile, Kai’s gaze returns to mine.

  ‘Apart from the twitching curtains.’

  As a cool morning breeze pebbles my skin, I wrap my arms around myself for warmth and tighten them for restraint; hands shaking under the efforts of not holding them out to him.

  ‘You’re cold.’ Stepping towards me, he slides his jacket down his arms, but I step away, shaking my head. The last thing I need is to be surrounded by his scent.

  The jacket hangs from his hands. He concentrates on it, not me. ‘We need to talk.’

  ‘Do we?’ Somehow, this sounds more like get fucked.

  ‘You know we do. Faris had no right to—’

  ‘To tell me what you refused to?’ Please let it not be, please.

  ‘That’s neither fair nor true.’ He lifts his head and I can’t help but see the weariness around his eyes. ‘I’ve travelled half way around the world to tell you I didn’t want to hurt you, or involve you.’

  ‘It’s a bit late for that. Weeks too late.’

  ‘That’s not what I mean. I didn’t want this to hurt you. I wanted to sort it out before we talked. Please, Kate.’

  ‘Like I said, too late. And please what?’

  ‘You look like you’re ready to run again.’

  ‘Truthfully, I don’t have the energy. I’m just not sure where I belong.’

  ‘With me, sweetheart.’ He steps towards me and I step back, like this is some choreographed dance.

  ‘What, I belong shacked up with you while the missus waits at home in Riyadh?’

  ‘That’s not what I mean. I would never—that’s what I’m here to explain, if you’d just give me the chance. Can I come in? Or can we go somewhere? This isn’t really the place—’

  ‘I’m not going to your hotel.’ Harsh words; savage delivery. ‘Never again,’ I add vehemently.

  ‘I haven’t checked in anywhere,’ he replies with a frown. ‘I came straight from the airport.’ He steps towards me, hands hovering over my shoulders. ‘We need to talk.’

  My head tells me I should send him on his way. My heart pleads that I hear him out. And my skin, well, it burns under his gaze, screaming for his touch.

  ‘Wait here.’

  I turn to the house, my back stiff under the weight of his gaze. Ignoring my parent’s enquiries and incredulous looks, I grab my shorts from the bedroom floor. I’m unwashed and unkempt, but it’s all I’m prepared to do. But then I pause at the open bathroom door, deciding I’ll brush my teeth. Just in case? I can’t face myself in the mirror as I do.

  ‘You’ve got no shoes on.’ Mum’s words drift down the hall as I pass by the kitchen.

  And Kai’s relief is clear as I open and step from the door.

  Chapter Sixty

  I direct him to the beach, using words with economy. I don’t ask about his car—a Range Rover—don’t ask him where he’s staying and refuse to look at him. I daren’t turn my head in the close confines of the car, and breathe through my mouth to avoid his masculine scent.

  As he parks, I can’t escape quickly enough, almost stumbling from the door.

  Kai half jogs to catch up with me as I hurry towards the beach. Lowering myself onto the cold, damp sand, I fix my gaze on the ocean. The surf is like glass, sun sparking electrically from its surface, as surfers idle on their boards, observing time and tide.

  Kai lowers himself beside me, mirroring my position and curling his hands around his knees. ‘Why did you leave? Why you didn’t wait to speak to me? Ask me if it’s true?’

  I shrug with a detachment I don’t feel. ‘I could’ve asked Sofia, but she had her mouth full.’

  ‘What?’ he asks, playing confused.

  ‘It’s impolite to speak with your mouth full, didn’t you know? And at that point, it seemed like only one half of my heartbreak. You were right about your dad, though, if it’s any consolation. Turned out he was the least of my problems, because not only do you have a douchey dad but you’re also getting married and you fuck around. I don’t know where you find the time. Or the strength.’

  ‘I’m what?’

  ‘Getting married.’ I place my head on my knees. ‘Fucking Sofia—’

  His hand grasps my arm as he turns. ‘Wait just a minute—I know he told you about Riyadh, but what are you talking about, fucking around? You clearly know nothing about these kinds of marriages.’

  ‘Don’t Riyadh girls put out?’ I ask savagely, now facing him. ‘Hearing about your marriage was bad enough. I didn’t need to see the blow by blow account.’

  ‘What the—’

  ‘Do me a favour, there’s no point lying now. You can’t hurt me anymore than you have.’

  ‘What are you talking about? I’m not—’

  ‘Fucking? The beast with two backs? Come on, you with your liking for ancient literature. You should get that. I saw you. It’s no good pretending, and even if the images weren’t burned onto my retinas, there’s still the tiny matter of your impending nuptials that I knew nothing about.’ My chest rises and falls rapidly as I force my next words out on the breath of a laugh. ‘It’s a bit like the chicken and the egg thing, really, isn’t it.’

  ‘One at a time,’ he growls, grabbing my arm. ‘Let’s deal with this one issue at a time. Firstly, I’m not getting married. I told you very early on, Faris has control issues. I’ve been going to Riyadh on business for quite some time—’

  ‘Really? It wasn’t just from Faris’ mouth, though, was it?’ I retort, pulling my arm free. ‘Essam’s been throwing out hints. And that was before he tried to ram his tongue down my throat.’

  His hands grasp my shoulders, forcibly turning me to face him again. ‘Tell me succinctly. What. The. Fuck. Did he do?’

  ‘Your cousin seemed to think I was up for it, and with the wrong man. But, hey, that’s the way with you greedy Khalfan men, seems one woman is never enough.’ I try hard to pull from his grasp.

  ‘I’m not getting married!’ he yells, his fingers tightening as he shakes me by my arms, releasing me just as quickly. His hands go to his head, raking through the strands before he plants his forehead against his knees, his words a sort of pained plea. ‘Tell me, please. What did he do to you? I need to know.’

  ‘He didn’t . . .’ My hand grasps my neck unconsciously. ‘They pulled him off. Niamh wanted to call the police.’

  Kai’s head rises slowly, eyes burning bright as he takes in the bruise. ‘I’ll fucking kill him. I had no idea . . . I don’t know what to say.’

  ‘You think you hurt me less than he did? In the grand scheme of things—’

  ‘In the grand scheme of things, you don’t understand. I haven’t deceived you. At least, not like you think.’ I open my mouth, obscenities on the tip of my tongue. ‘Because there is no marriage contract. I extricated myself.’

  I shake my head staccato, drawing my knees to my chest. ‘Last minute cold feet? I don’t think I want to hear.’

  ‘Long before you, I made it clear to him I wasn’t interested. He just affects not to notice, but he’s known all along this wouldn’t work. He was just trying to frighten you off, Kate.’

  ‘One deception’s as damning as another,’ I mumble, not sure if I believe him, of what to think.

  ‘What the fuck’s that supposed to mean? Can you stop talking in riddles and tell me what I’m supposed to have done?’

  ‘Come off it.’ I laugh bitterly. ‘I know what went on, I was there. I came. I saw. I just didn’t stick around to watch you come.’ Suppressed fury rises so quickly, I practically burn. My hands ball in the sand, gripping handfuls so tightly, I wouldn’t be surprised if the grains turn to glass.

  ‘What? Who did you see? Came where?’

  ‘Down the back of her throat, by the sounds of things.’

  ‘I swear, Kate, if you don’t stop talking in riddles—speak fucking English! Please.’

  I eye him
for a moment, not sure whether to hurl words of fists. Eventually, words win out, the volley hitting the air in a whoosh.

  ‘I turned up at the hotel early. Caught the whole fucking show.’

  I turn my head back to the ocean as my voice begins to crack under the effort.

  ‘But . . . I wasn’t at the hotel.’

  ‘Please don’t.’ Wrapping my arms around my knees, I dig my toes into the sand and will myself not to cry.

  ‘I wasn’t there,’ he replies, voice rising suddenly. ‘But I’m beginning to guess who fucking well was!’ Startled, my head shoots up as a look I’ve never seen before dawns darkly cross his face. ‘Tell me what you saw.’

  ‘Enough.’ Enough to break my heart.

  ‘Whatever it was—whoever it was—it wasn’t me.’

  ‘Sofia,’ I yell. ‘I saw you fucking Sofia, or rather I saw you shove your dick in her mouth.’

  He growls—it sounds painful, plaintive—a sound I’ve never heard before. ‘You didn’t see me, you probably saw Essam! He said he wanted to fuck her, you heard him! It wasn’t me, I’m not guilty of . . . whatever they were doing.

  ‘I didn’t get back to Dubai until the early hours and when you weren’t there, I thought you’d gone home. It was late, so I didn’t call. Then next morning your phone wasn’t on!’ His voice rises, desperation filling the tone. ‘Can you imagine how it felt to learn you’d left? Gone? You said you loved me. If that means anything to you at all, I expect, no, I demand the benefit of the doubt. I swear on my mother’s life—’

  ‘It had to be you,’ I whisper, beginning to shake.

  ‘It wasn’t,’ he pleads, reaching out. ‘Can’t you see? Think, Kate, don’t Essam and I look at least a little alike? Couldn’t it have been him?’

  ‘Don’t.’ I hold my hand out in warning, desperate to stay strong, despite the ring of truth in his words. I try hard to ignore the resemblance between the pair—their height, their gait—but facially they aren’t remotely the same. But I didn’t see his face . . .