by L. D. Davis
“Anyway,” Emmy sighed and wiped at a few stray tears. “How are you handling things with your mom?”
“Okay, I guess,” I said with a small shrug. “I’m sad about it, but…I’ve accepted it. Is that bad?”
Emmy shrugged too. “I don’t know the right way to feel in your situation.”
“Maybe there is no right or wrong way.”
“Maybe not,” she agreed. “Are you going to take more time off of work to be with her?”
“I want to, but you know time is of the essence in this business.”
“Very true,” Emmy agreed. “You’re considered ‘old’ in your mid-twenties.”
“And between you and me, I think I want to go to Europe soon,” I said. “I met a designer at Felix’s party. Alberi Durand,” I said regally in a French accent.
“Ohhhh,” Emmy breathed. “I’ve seen his designs. You didn’t tell me about him!”
“You didn’t care about designers,” I laughed, dodging a playful punch. “You only wanted to know about movie stars and rock stars.”
“God, I want your life,” she said wistfully. “So, what about Alberi Durand?” She asked in her own French accent.
“He likes me. He said if I was interested in coming to work in Europe to let him know. He emailed me recently and told me he hadn’t forgotten about me. Isn’t that cool?”
“Cool,” Emmy agreed, and then, “But creepy. The old weird guy is still thinking about you.”
“He’s like thirty.”
“Yeah, like I said, old weird guy. I can’t even imagine thirty,” she said, getting out of the bed. “Let’s do something instead of laying here getting fat.”
We left the magazines and junk food on her bed and left her room. I followed her downstairs and into the family room. That was exactly where my body would have lead me anyway. Emmet was sitting on the couch with a soda flipping through channels on the television.
“You poor loser,” Emmy teased, moving to the other side of the room where all of the music and movies were shelved. “No friends, brother?”
“I’m going to a party later tonight,” he said, ignoring her jibe.
“Can I go with you two?” Emmy asked in a tone laced with jealousy.
“Who two?” I asked her back. She was rooting through the CDs.
“You two,” she said over her shoulder. “Please. You two are like two damn peas in a pod lately.” She spun around and glared at Emmet. “You’re stealing my best friend! Go find your own best friend.”
Emmet looked amused. “I can’t help if I’m more fun than you.”
“You wish. She probably only keeps you around because you’re nice to look at.”
Emmet looked at me with that amused grin. “Is that why you keep me around, Donya?”
“Is there any other reason?” I asked with a blank expression on my face.
“Ha!” Emmy said triumphantly. She turned back to looking through the CDs.
Emmet raised an eyebrow at me, and I gave him a little shrug, trying to hide the smirk on my face before joining Emmy at the bookshelf.
An hour later, the three of us were bouncing around the living room to Rob Base’s “It Takes Two.” Emmet had on a backward baseball cap as he rapped into a wooden spoon. Emmy and I did back up singing as we danced around him. We were all laughing and smiling and carefree and utterly stupid. We listened to early nineties music for the rest of the afternoon, acted goofy and ridiculous and earned several shouts from Sam to shut the hell up.
It was an afternoon that will always stand out in my head, because it was the last time I remember feeling my age. The road before me was going to be a rough one, but dancing, singing, and laughing with the two people I loved most in the world, I thought that I could handle anything as long as I always had them. I knew I would be okay.
*~*~*
When I walked into the party and promptly spotted Stella, I almost turned and left, but Emmet was directly behind me. His hand was firm on the small of my back. I glared at him over my shoulder, but he simply raised an eyebrow as if to say, “Seriously, Donya? Like you weren’t just humping Felix in front of a hundred people a couple of days ago?”
He didn’t say it out loud, but I knew Emmet, and I knew that’s what he was saying in his head. I could practically hear the words echoing down the cord that bound us together.
“Hey, look, Emmet has a piece of ass for the night,” Emmy said cheerfully in my ear.
I scowled as she laced her fingers with mine. “Come on, let’s go find some tequila.”
I shook my head as I let her lead me away from where Stella stood, waving to my boyfriend. I felt Emmet’s fingers on my shirt, but Emmy didn’t know that her brother was trying to stop me and pulled me through the crowd, making Emmet lose his grasp.
“You really need to lay off the tequila,” I told Emmy twenty minutes later as she downed her fourth shot.
“But I love it!” she said gleefully and then offered me a shot. I put my hand up and shook my head.
“That shit is disgusting,” I said. “And it’s not good for you. Seriously, you’re turning into a real alcoholic.”
“Better than being high as a kite,” she muttered and then took another shot.
“Hey,” someone said close to me.
I turned my head to see who it was. It was Benny, the same kid who used to enjoy knocking me off of Emmet’s skateboard when I was little. I had not seen him in years. His parents divorced, and he had moved away with his father. He was just about to hit puberty the last time I saw him, but puberty had come and gone. He was tall, well-built instead of just brawny, and well…kind of cute.
“Are you here to push me around?” I asked him, smiling a little bit.
He laughed and put a hand to his heart and looked at me with sincerity. “I’m sorry for all of those times I bullied you, but to be honest, I liked getting a rise out of you.”
“Well, don’t expect to get a rise out of me now,” I said loftily.
“I wouldn’t want to antagonize the superstar,” he teased.
“What superstar where?” I asked.
He grinned. “The one standing right in front of me. The same one who is always traipsing through New York with Felix Hunter for fuck’s sake.”
“It’s just Felix.” I waved a dismissive hand. The last thing I needed was for more people to believe that I was doing more with Felix than traipsing anywhere. “What have you been doing with yourself, Benny?” I asked, taking the attention off of me.
“I just moved back to my mom’s from Maryland. I’m going to go to U-Penn in the fall.”
“Impressive.”
“Hard to believe the neighborhood bully could make something out of his life, huh?”
“I had my doubts,” I teased. I did a visual check on Emmy and sighed when I saw her taking another shot. “So, what is your major, Benny?”
We talked for a long time as I stood watch over Emmy. We talked about his plans of becoming a doctor and about his time in Maryland. He was funny and easy to talk to, so unlike the brat he was many years ago. I told him how I got discovered by Max on the boardwalk and gave him some vague details about my life to keep the conversation light.
When Emmy could no longer stand up without stumbling, I had to end the conversation with Benny and go help her. I knew she had been to some parties in my absence, and I wondered if she always got so drunk or worse and if anyone helped her. The idea that someone could have possibly taken advantage of her while she was like that and she not even remember it terrified me. I was going to give her an earful when she was sober.
“Can you stay with her while I go find Emmet?” I asked Benny as he supported the blabbering, drunken idiot around her waist. It probably wasn’t a good idea to leave her with someone I hardly knew, but I would find Emmet faster than Benny.
“Sure, go ahead,” he said, pushing Emmy’s hand off of his face.
I rolled my eyes at her and went to find Emmet.
It wasn’t a big par
ty. There were clusters of people here and there. The music was loud, and the alcohol was flowing, but it was otherwise a toned down party in comparison to some I had been to over the years.
I followed that internal mapping system that seemed to always lead me to Emmet and found him in a game room with another cluster of people. He and Stella were standing close together, heads bent close, talking. He was holding a pool stick in one hand and a beer in the other hand. Her hand was on his arm, and he seemed okay with it. Suddenly, he looked away from her and right at me.
I didn’t want to be the jealous girlfriend, but I had a sore spot for Stella. If it were any other girl, I wouldn’t have put much thought into it, but it wasn’t any other girl. It was Stella.
Still, I tried to quell the resentment that was inside of me, especially considering how close I was with Felix and the feelings he had for me. I also couldn’t forget the heat between us while we were filming. Though it wasn’t at all on purpose, I still felt guilty for it. Felix’s penis had been right against my vagina. Stella simply had her hand on Emmet’s arm.
And she also was the mother of his baby…
I sighed, shook the baby thought from my head and discretely beckoned Emmet with a wave of my hand. I didn’t wait to see if he would follow before leaving the game room. I went back into the dining room where I had left Benny and Emmy, but they weren’t there. I asked an acquaintance that had been there all night if she had seen where they went. She didn’t know; she only saw them leave the room.
I started to panic a little. What if Benny was still a bully, but just a different kind of bully? What if he took her into a bathroom or some closet and was violating her? I hadn't been gone that long. I didn’t think they could have gone far, but as I looked through the kitchen and the living room and checked the closets and bathroom, I began to panic. I didn’t have an internal mapping system for Emmy, which pissed me off. It was like some cosmic joke that I could be connected with Emmet and not Emmy.
I was going to go upstairs and look for them, but as I passed the open front door, I spotted them outside at the end of the sidewalk. I rushed outside, prepared to kick Benny’s ass, but as I got closer, I saw that Emmy was doubled over puking into the street while Benny held her hair back. I moved to the other side of her to help support her.
“What are you doing out here?” I questioned him over Emmy’s retching. I looked away from the tequila vomit and looked at Benny for an answer.
“She turned green, and someone was in the bathroom,” he said. “I carried her outside before she could puke all over the floor in there. She first puked back there,” he said pointing towards the house. “I didn’t want anyone stepping in the shit, so I brought her down here.”
“Thank you,” I said with sincerity. I felt bad for mentally accusing him of wrongdoing.
“I must really like you if I’m willing to babysit Pukey here,” he teased.
“I appreciate it. Emmet should be out here any second,” I said, looking towards the house. I was surprised he hadn’t come out yet. Granted I didn’t give him any indication of where I would be, but I knew he had that same mapping system inside of him for me. The only explanation was that he was still inside talking to Stella.
“Maybe this isn’t a good time to ask,” Benny said as Emmy retched especially loud.
“Ask what?” I said, frowning at Emmy. She had begun to dry heave, but she was doing it so hard, I was afraid she was going to hurl up a kidney or something.
“For your phone number.”
“My what?” I asked stupidly.
“Your phone number? You know that thing that rings? Alexander Graham Bell invented it in 1876.”
I smiled at his humor, but I didn’t know what to say. I had a boyfriend, but I couldn’t tell him that, because Emmy was right there. Even though she was royally fucked up, I didn’t know what she would remember later.
“I’m going back to New York the day after tomorrow,” I said carefully. “And my schedule is…unpredictable.”
There. At least I wasn’t lying. My schedule was entirely unpredictable.
Benny was persistent though.
“I just want to keep in touch,” he said. “I’m not asking you to go steady.”
I laughed. “Who says that anymore? You sound like Emmy’s mom.”
He laughed, too, but persisted. “I like talking to you, Donya. I swear I have no ulterior motives.”
I bit my lip as I thought about it. “When I tell you that my schedule is unpredictable, I really mean it,” I warned. “You might not catch me on the phone.”
“Then I’ll take your email too.” He smiled encouragingly.
I gave in. He seemed genuine, and I had liked chatting with him too. “Well, what are you going to write it with? Vomit?” I asked.
“I have a pen and paper in my purse,” Emmy slurred, standing upright. I was glad for her sake that only Benny and I could see her. Her hair was messed up and even by the little bit of light where we were standing, I could see her face was all blotchy.
“I hope you have gum and a brush in here,” I said, taking her purse from her and letting Benny support her.
I was only a little surprised to find a drunk’s arsenal in the purse: gum, travel sizes of toothpaste, mouthwash, and a toothbrush, and sure enough there was a hairbrush in there, too. I handed her the mouthwash and then dug around for a pen and paper. While Emmy leaned against a car rinsing her mouth, Benny and I exchanged phone numbers and emails. I had just pushed his info into my pocket when Emmet stepped up beside us. I knew he was coming, I had seen him come out of the house and, of course, I sensed him coming.
“Hey, what’s up,” Benny said, acknowledging Emmet with a nod of his head.
Emmet looked him over, frowning. “Hey.”
“Thank you for your help,” I told Benny with a smile.
“No problem. Take care of yourself up there. I’ll email you or call you soon,” he said, holding up the piece of paper.
“Okay. It might take me a little bit of time to get back to you, but I will.”
“That’s cool.” He reached for me, for a hug no doubt, but Emmet rudely stepped between us to get Emmy.
Benny looked at Emmet with amused confusion, but when Emmet seemed to be taking his time to get out of the way, I waved a hand of dismissal and forced a smile.
“Next time,” I said. “We have to care for the drunk.”
He nodded his understanding and started to back away. “See ya, Donya.”
“Bye, Benny,” I smiled at him as I helped Emmet support Emmy.
He threw me one last grin and walked back toward the house.
“Seriously?” Emmet grumbled as we started walking down the sidewalk toward his car. “Benny?”
“What about Benny?” I asked.
“Benny got all cute,” Emmy said. “Holy hell did you see those abs, Donya? Do me a favor and totally lick those abs for me.”
“I’m not licking his abs.” I sighed. I could feel Emmet’s anger without even meeting his angry gaze.
“But you gave him your phone number and you guys talked all night,” she said. “I’ll bet he won’t mind licking you.” She snickered at her dumb joke. She had no idea that she was stirring up trouble for me and Emmet.
“No one is licking anyone else,” Emmet said irritably.
“Donya licked Felix’s lickable mouth,” Emmy said dreamily.
Though Emmet had mostly gotten over the scene I had with Felix, I knew he wasn’t in much of an accepting mood, which really wasn’t fair. I had done nothing wrong. If anyone was wrong, it was him, but I wasn’t about to start pointing fingers.
We reached the car and helped Emmy into the backseat. I sat up front and pulled on my seatbelt. Emmet jerked the car out of the parking spot and sped down the road.
“You need to slow down,” I told him.
I watched his hands grip the steering wheel, but he did not slow down. Despite the fact that Emmy was in the backseat, I reached out and put the
palm of my hand against his cheek.
“Emmet,” I said softly. “Slow down.”
I felt his jaw clench, and then suddenly he sighed, and his jaw relaxed, and his foot eased off of the accelerator. I dropped my hand to his leg and glanced back at Emmy. She was already asleep, her forehead pressed against the glass.
Emmet dropped his right hand from the steering wheel and held my hand.
“Neither of us should make any assumptions,” I said softly, hoping Emmy couldn’t hear me.
“But I watched you put his number in your pocket,” he argued softly. “You talked about it right in front of me.”
“Right,” I agreed. “Which should more than prove that there was nothing nefarious happening between us.”
Emmet sighed again and glanced over at me. “Funny how I overreact about this, but I was okay watching you make out with another guy.”
“Very funny, and very silly,” I said, squeezing his hand.
His thumb dragged across my skin and whatever tension that was in my body went away.
“We were just talking,” he said after a few quiet minutes. He glanced over at me for a reaction. “We’re still friends, but if you want me to stop being her friend, I will.”
“No,” I said, shaking my head. “You don’t have to do that, and I would never make you do anything like that. I wouldn’t want you to tell me I couldn’t be friends with Felix anymore, or that I couldn’t talk to Benny.”
“I don’t want you to feel uncomfortable or to worry,” Emmet said.
“I’m not and I won’t,” I promised. “Much,” I added.
I smiled at him. He looked over at me as if he was hesitant to believe that it could be so easy. I wanted to make it as easy as possible for both of us, but selfishly, for myself as well. I needed the path of least resistance over the next few months or more. So, I squeezed his hand again to reassure him that it was that easy. I loved him, and that was all that really mattered.