by L. D. Davis
But…I’ve changed.
Or…I’ve become the person everyone always thought that I was.
“I understand,” I said, breaking the silence. “I don’t want to vilify the police. I want them to be on my side, on the side of the victims. So, I have an idea…”
I told them what I was thinking, and as we discussed the concept, our excitement grew. My selfish desires to only care about myself began to fade to black. For the first time ever, I wanted to help others. For the first time ever, I felt like I had a purpose.
I stood inside the closet staring at the box on the floor. I poked at it with my toe a few times, but I was no closer to deciding what to do with it.
“What’s that?” Grant asked, coming in behind me.
His strong hands landed on my waist as he dropped a kiss on my neck, making me shiver.
“A box.”
“What’s inside the box, smart ass?”
I smiled. “I don’t know. When my mom picked Taylor up, she gave it to me. She only said that there were things in there that I might want to see.”
“It’s been two weeks.”
“I know.”
Grant’s lips hovered near my ear. He whispered, “You should open the box.”
“What’s in the box!” I cried out. When Grant only stared down blankly at me, I groaned. “You can quote Monty Python but you don’t know Se7en?”
“Mmm no.”
I shook my head, but let his lack of knowledge in a cult classic slide.
“I am afraid to open the box,” I admitted.
“Why are you afraid to open the box?”
“What if the box contains something else that will destroy more of my preconceived notions? What if it’s Pandora’s Box? A can of worms? A snake in the grass!”
Laughing, Grant said, “You’re brave enough to handle it.”
“I don’t know if I have the energy to handle it,” I muttered. “But I guess I’ll open the damn box.”
Grant carried the small box to our bed. We sat down and got comfortable before pulling the flaps apart. I inhaled deeply when I saw the top item.
“Your dad’s death certificate,” Grant murmured, plucking it out.
Together, we looked it over.
“Cause of death was coronary artery disease,” I read aloud. “What is that?”
“His arteries were blocked, or clogged with plaque.”
My breath caught. “What…what does that mean? I mean, I know what it means, but…what does it mean?”
His fingers laced with mine and held tight.
“It means,” he said softly, “that if left untreated, it was only a matter of time before this caught up to your dad. You weren’t the cause of his heart attack. You weren’t the cause of his death. The series of events leading to your father’s death were coincidental—and unfortunate.”
My tears dropped onto the paper.
“Totally destroyed my preconceived notions,” I whispered.
Together, we rooted through the rest of the box. It mostly contained pictures, most of which I had never seen before. Many of them were of my dad when he was younger, but a lot of them were of the two of us together. My favorite was a photo of us when I was about two. It was a close up of me holding onto his face as our puckered lips met in a kiss.
“How do you feel?” Grant asked me later. We had put all the contents back into the box except for that one picture.
“I don’t know,” I answered honestly. “I have had this Herculean burden with me for so long. The guilt and grief aren't going to just go away. A person isn’t instantly fully recovered from their injuries just because they have surgery. Healing takes time, and sometimes you’re just never one hundred percent again. I don’t know if I’ll ever be one hundred percent again.”
“Hmm,” Grant murmured, and kissed my neck. “You also didn’t think that you ever wanted to see me again six months ago.”
“I didn’t,” I said coolly. “Sometimes it’s still questionable.”
He laughed softly and kissed my neck again.
“You also said that you didn’t want to be anyone’s mother and that you didn’t like kids.”
I sniffed. “Your demon spawn grew on me. Like fungus.”
“Mmm hmm.” He slowly pulled the thin strap of my camisole over my shoulder and halfway down my arm. “You didn’t think that you’d ever be able to have a real relationship with your mother and sister.”
I rolled my eyes. “I still don’t really have a relationship with my mother.”
“But you love your sister.”
Shrugging and feigning far less emotion than I felt toward Taylor, I said, “She’s an okay kid.”
He kissed a line up my bare arm and began to slide my other strap down.
“You said you’re unstable.” He kissed the swell of one breast. “You said you’re never really okay.”
“What exactly is your point, Grant Alexander?”
His strong hand gently cupped my jaw as his soft eyes bore into mine.
“You are already healing,” he said, his voice tender and loving. “You have been healing longer than you know. Maybe it was slow for some time, but not anymore. You improve more with each day.”
“I have such ugly scars,” I whispered, resting my hand on his.
“Good. That means that you won’t forget your past and you won’t forget where you came from.”
I squeezed his hand and brought it to my lips. I kissed his palm gratefully.
“I don’t think that I would have come this far so quickly without you, Grant. You really…” I swallowed hard as I tried to ease the pressure building in my chest and blink away the tears in my eyes. “You really saved me.”
He said my name with such reverence that it made me gasp for breath. He said my name like a plea, a prayer, and an exaltation. “Mayson. I told you before that you don’t need a hero. I am not your hero, Baby Girl, though I would love to have the title. You have saved yourself again and again. More than that, it is you who has saved us. You saved Natalie and Alex, and you have saved me. You have brought us joy, love, and beauty just by being what you are in nature. My beautiful, scarred, smartass, inappropriate, hilarious, pastry-loving, big-hearted butterfly.”
I shifted onto my knees and straddled him. I locked my arms around his neck and dropped my forehead to his, heedless of the tears falling from my face onto his. I whispered to him, my voice too choked to speak any louder.
“You have always seen me for what I can be. You have always looked past my hard-boiled exoskeleton to my heart and soul, no matter what I’ve said or what I’ve done. You love me in spite of the fact that I’m not always pretty inside. That’s why you are my hero, Grant.”
As our lips met, I had the most extraordinary sensation. A rippling bristle down my back. A sense of awareness. Feelings of unfurling, unfolding, and distension.
My wings, I thought with jubilation. My pretty wings.
Wrapped in Grant’s arms and tethered to the earth by his kiss, my heart soared.
Chapter Twenty-Five
Tabitha
Nia: Hey, boss! How is your weekend going?
Leo: Hi, Nia. It’s going well, thank you. How can I help you?
Nia: I don’t know if Paulina mentioned it to you or not, but I am doing a 5K run next month.
Leo: Oh, right, right. Yes, she did bring it to my attention the other day. You wanted to know if Leo’s would sponsor you, right?
Nia: Yes! I think it’s a good idea for me and your restaurants. I’ll be able to run in the race, and Leo’s gets free PR.
Leo: I agree. As soon as you can, give Paulina as much information as you can so we can get everything set up. Maybe we can get some of the other employees to participate. That would be cool, not just for the PR, but for the charity.
Nia: Awesome! Maybe you can do it, too! I’m sure you won’t need that much training. You’re already in great shape ;) Do you work out? You must work out…
Leo: I do try to
get a workout in at least three times a week. I don’t always have time between work and my family. I would definitely need to train for a 5K! Otherwise, I’d probably give up half way and go get a beer!
Nia: Lol See? You’re so funny! It’s good that you work out. Unfortunately, not enough people take their health and bodies seriously. Maybe we can work out together sometime! I go to the gym at least five days a week. I’d love to know if you have the stamina to keep up with me ;)
Leo: What are you? Like nineteen? You and most of the staff can run circles around an old man like me!
Nia: Lol! Stop! That’s not true! I’m sure you could teach a younger girl like me lots of things. It must be hard for you, though.
Leo: ??? What must be hard for me?
Nia: You know…working out, staying healthy, and keeping up such a nice body when your wife is overweight. Not that she’s not pretty or anything, but it’s like you live two different lifestyles, ya know? That must be difficult at times. I was serious when I offered to work out together. Then you wouldn’t have to do it alone. It could be fun!
Leo: Honestly, Nia, if my wife is overweight, I never noticed. She’s not pretty…she’s BEAUTIFUL, and she gets more beautiful all the time. The fact is, Tabitha does go to the gym. She works out in her own time and at her own pace, but she doesn’t do it for me, she does it for herself. Whether she loses weight, gains weight, or stays the same, it doesn’t make any difference to me. I will always see perfection when I look at her. I don’t need a workout partner, but if I did, I would ask my wife because she is my partner in all things and I would have it no other way. Thank you for choosing to represent my establishments during your run. Please speak with Paulina about it from here on out. She will pass on any pertinent information. Enjoy the rest of your weekend.
Despite the fact that I wanted to punch perky-boobed Nia in her face, I couldn’t erase my smile after seeing Leo’s response. It was so loving, so perfect, so him.
I wasn’t spying on my husband. Leo had made a list of things to pack on his tablet. I had been using it all morning to check items off as I packed them. He was in his office, making some last minute phone calls and doing some last minute paperwork before we left for a few days. When the first message popped up, I hardly paid any attention to it. Leo’s employees often sent him messages with questions, complaints, or just for friendly conversation. He got along very well with his staff, and he liked being accessible and approachable for them.
I ignored the conversation, for the most part, swiping away their words almost as soon as they’d popped up. When Nia made the comment about Leo’s stamina, that’s when red flags went up for me. Without any shame, I scrolled back to the beginning. It seemed innocent at first, but as I read on, I picked up on something that my husband didn’t immediately see: Nia had been flirting with him. She wasn’t just flirting, but making an offer.
I didn’t like that he kept talking to her, even after her coquetry was obvious. He didn’t flirt back, and he made a joke out of it, but why didn’t he put a stop to it right away?
His final response, however, could not be ignored. It rather made up for everything else—it certainly did shut her up, because she didn’t say anything more.
Leo walked into the bedroom a little while later, looking distracted and annoyed.
“What else needs to be packed?” he asked, his brow furrowed as he stared blankly at the open suitcase.
“Just a few smaller things,” I said, watching him carefully. “We should be finished shortly.”
“Okay, good. Tell me what you need me to do.”
“Would it be petty if I told you that I needed you to fire Nia?” I asked delicately.
He looked startled for a moment, but then he saw the tablet in my hands.
“Did you see that?”
Obviously, I had seen it. I had to resist the impulse to snap at him when I answered.
“I did. Were you not going to tell me?”
He stiffened. “I handled it. I didn’t see any point in telling you something that could possibly hurt you or make you feel bad.”
I started to say that it didn’t hurt me or make me feel bad, but with a small internal start, I realized that it had. Leo has loved me most of my life, and he has always looked upon, touched, and kissed my body with reverence. Any negative thoughts I’d had about my body, Leo had extinguished them very early in our relationship, but that was a long time ago. I have since had three children, and I had gained weight with each pregnancy. Although I had lost a lot of the total weight I’d gained, I was still thicker in the waist, rounder in the hips, and with more junk in my trunk than I’d had when we got together. Meanwhile, Leo was in great shape. Nia hadn’t been wrong about that.
Leo, who could read me with his eyes closed, instantly understood what I was thinking.
“Tabitha,” he said, softening as he reached for me. His hand possessively, but affectionately cupped my neck. “I meant what I said. You are beautiful. You’ve always been beautiful, and you are more beautiful every day. Don’t let what she said get to you, dolcezza.”
“My body isn’t…” I started quietly. “I’ve gained a lot of weight. I have extra stretchy stretch marks and a killer C-section scar. Gravity, extra weight, and breastfeeding have done a number on my boobs, and…things…jiggle that didn’t jiggle before.”
“These things that you are counting as flaws are the very things that make you more incredible in my eyes,” Leo said gently. “Your body now is a representation of the wonderful thing you did three times. You carried, nurtured, and sheltered our three children inside you. That C-section scar is a battle scar. That’s what I see when I look at your body, Tabitha. I see a goddess that has created lives, a warrior who has protected and sacrificed for those lives. I see you, amore mio, la mia vita.”
My love, my life.
He kissed me. His mouth was soft and sweet like candy, and as electrifying as strikes of lightening. Leo’s kisses were still my favorite addiction. His lips, that tongue, and that passion never ceased to burn me through and through, to singe my senses and ignite a fire inside my soul.
“I want to strip you out of these clothes, revere every inch of your divine body, and make love to you,” he whispered as his lips grazed my jaw. “Do you want that, dolcezza? Hmm? Vuoi che ti scopi col mio cazzo?”
“What does that mean?” A familiar voice asked from the doorway.
We looked over at the same time and saw Lenny holding Nico in his small arms.
“It means that I want some alone time with your mom,” Leo told our eldest child. He sighed with resignation and grumpily muttered, “but I guess I’m not going to get that anytime soon.”
“Sorry,” I said, meaningfully. I kissed his cheek. Then I whispered in his ear, “For the record, my answer is yes. I do want you to fuck me with your cock.”
I escaped from his embrace, trying not to laugh as he cursed under his breath.
On the way to the airport, we had to make a stop at Leo’s On the Bay so Leo could meet with his management team for a few minutes. I stayed in the car with the kids, listening to an ear-bleeding Kids Bop playlist. Leo had only been gone for a few short minutes when another car pulled into the employee parking lot, only a couple spaces away.
I knew the car instantly. Nia drove an old Corvette convertible, painted the awful pink of stomach medicine. I watched her run her fingers through her bleached blond hair in her rearview mirror and then reapply another coat of lipstick before putting the top up on the car. When she stepped out of her car, I impulsively threw open my own door and tumbled out of the Lexus into the hot Miami heat.
“I’ll be right back,” I told Len and the other kids. “I’ll be right here.”
I got to the back of the car just as Nia walked by.
“Nia,” I called to her.
I had a moment of panic. What the hell was I doing? I wasn’t a confrontational person! My palms were instantly damp and I wished that I had kept my mouth clamped shut.
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br /> She stopped at the sound of her name and glanced over her shoulder before turning around to face me. She had on the same uniform that all the female staff wore at L.O.T.B., a short-sleeved white blouse, a black skirt, and black sneakers. Somehow, Nia’s shirt always appeared to be straining to remain buttoned over her breasts and the skirt seemed to be a few inches shorter on her than any of the other girls. The others had the appearance of a respectable wait staff in a respectable establishment. Nia always looked like she was one button away from swinging around a pole.
She smiled as if she were trying to place my face, even though she had seen me on several occasions over the year that she’d been employed for Leo.
Her fake smile widened. “Oh! Leo’s wife, right?”
“You know who I am,” I said gravely.
She ignored my grave tone and continued to smile. “You know how it is. I see so many people in a day that sometimes a face and a name slips my mind, even the boss’s wife.”
I smiled coldly. “You seemed to have had my face and the rest of me pretty clear in your mind this morning.”
Her false smile faltered. She was silent a beat too long to be believable—if I was ever gullible enough to believe her in the first place.
“I’m not sure that I know what you’re talking about.”
“You know, I knew another blonde like you. She played the stupid card, too, and it didn’t work out well for her. You are very young, Nia, and I can admit that you are very attractive, but it makes me question why someone so young and attractive would target a married man with children almost old enough to be her father. What is it inside you that is so damaged that you would even attempt such a thing? Even for someone with a superiority complex—which you do have since you think you are superior to me because you are thin—wouldn’t endeavor something with such destructive possibilities.”