by Robyn Carr
Emma struggled to find her own voice. “I love your mother,” she finally said.
“Thank you for saying that because I believe you, and you don’t even know her. I wish I could be with her.”
“She’s with you in your heart and I believe she’s watching over you. You’re going to be like her, you know. Maybe not tomorrow or next week, but you’re going to have a great life and make your house smell like great things are baking and laugh with your children and fall asleep in a pile. You will, Bethany. I grew up and moved away from my stepmother and you’ll move away from yours.”
“Did you move away and have a great life?”
Emma bit her lip. It wasn’t really a lie if she thought about where she was now. “Yes, I have a lovely life. A happy life.”
“Cleaning houses?”
“Yes. And meeting wonderful people.”
When they hung up, Emma drove the rest of the way home, crying all the way. Was she helping by taking these calls from this poor, grief-stricken, lonely girl?
She remembered when her life was at a point like that, when she’d lost her father, when she was just sixteen. But she had Riley. And Riley hadn’t been afraid to hang out.
* * *
The twenty-third of December fell on Friday and that was the day Penny and her girlfriends chose for their little Christmas party. The girls had decided that everyone would bring substantial hors d’oeuvres and Marilyn agreed to make two desserts. They were going to have a cocktail party and ornament exchange.
Earlier in the week Emma had helped Penny bring in her tree and put her decorations up. She brought another centerpiece and wine; her wrapped presents were under Penny’s tree. She’d been looking forward to this holiday for weeks, her first Christmas as a free woman. And especially her evening with the girls, Penny, Susan, Dorothy and Marilyn. But all the while, it was hard for her to shake off Bethany’s call.
Their wine was poured, their cocktail plates were loaded, they were comfy in Penny’s little living room and someone toasted, “Another year gone to hell.” They all said Here! Here! with laughter.
“You’re not quite as perky as usual, Emma,” Marilyn pointed out. “You haven’t had another pan of pee tossed at your head, have you?”
Emma shot wide eyes to Penny. “You told?”
“Way to keep it to yourself, Marilyn,” Penny scolded.
“Well, I don’t have to keep it from Emma, do I? You haven’t had a falling out with that lovely Adam, have you?”
“No, he remains lovely. Really, Penelope, I can’t believe you told about that! I’ll see Adam late tomorrow night after he has his dinner and celebration with his family. I have the littlest work problem, that’s all.”
“Do tell!” three of them said at once.
“I shouldn’t. I don’t believe you’re entirely trustworthy,” Emma said.
Dorothy laughed. “Don’t worry about that, angel. No one listens to us anyway. What happened at work?”
She sighed. Truthfully, she was dying to talk to someone and these old biddies were good listeners. As long as she didn’t name names. “I’ve gone and done the dumbest thing.”
“What? Tell us at once!”
“But it’s not a happy story,” she apologized. “I don’t want to cast a pall on our party—I’ve been looking forward to it.”
“Pah, we love trouble and misery. We can take it!”
“Indeed,” Emma said with a frown. “It’s quite sad, really.”
They had no trouble talking her into it; she was more than ready to unload. She started with the new clothes in the trash, the scarred desktop, then the diary and her bold move in leaving her number.
“Oh, bless you, little darling!” Susan said. “You’re all mush, aren’t you?”
Then Emma explained Riley’s rules and Bethany’s two calls.
“Oh, my dear, you did absolutely the right thing!” Penny said. “Someone has to talk to that child!”
“But what can I do to help?”
“I’m sure listening helps, love,” Dorothy said. “Where is that girl’s grandmother?”
“I asked, as a matter of fact—apparently she went downhill fast after her daughter died and is now in assisted living. I don’t know the details, but I gather she can’t be of much help in her condition.”
“Some of us are frail,” Marilyn said. “Not us, mind you. We turned into leather. Tough old broads who have outlasted way too many friends. You can give her our numbers, Emma. There’s no group of grannies who know more about the pain of loss and the way to move on than we do.”
“I bet you would be good for her,” Emma said.
“What about that woman, the new wife. Wearing the dead woman’s clothes! That should be against the law. I’m calling my lawyer after Christmas. I’m going to give him a list of names of those approved to be seen in my clothing after I’m gone,” Marilyn said.
“Save your dime,” Penny said. “No one wants your old-lady clothes.”
“It is awful, though, isn’t it?” Emma asked. “She made a point of saying she asked them, but what’s a young, grief-stricken girl going to say?”
“Sounds like she can’t help herself,” Susan said. “She’s probably a well-meaning idiot. Trying to make her new husband happy, keeping the house immaculate to impress anyone who’s watching that she’s a caring mother, getting expensive clothes for the girl, rather than giving time and understanding...”
“They put her in counseling,” Emma said.
“So what? I have an ex-sister-in-law who was a counselor!” Susan exclaimed. “Worst fucked-up piece of work I’ve ever seen.”
“Nice language,” Dorothy said. “You know what you should do, Emma? You should talk to that nice Adam about this. You said he’s lovely with teenagers.”
“With his niece, I’ve seen a little of that. But I’m working for his sister. I broke the rules. I wonder if he’d feel obligated to tell her. Because it wouldn’t be the first time I’ve broken the rules. Not long ago I called the police on one of our clients...”
They all leaned toward her as one. Their eyes were wide and hungry. “I don’t believe you mentioned that, darling,” Penny said.
“I’m going to need another glass of wine,” Marilyn said. “Don’t tell about it until I’ve gotten reloaded here.”
“A man was assaulting his wife. Beating her,” Emma said, going through the story, explaining she was supposed to call her directors or Riley but she just called the police.
“Good for you!” everyone said.
“I thought strong women had died off, but look at you go!” Dorothy added.
“I might’ve chased him with a tire iron, the bastard!” Penny said.
“Exactly why I carry,” Susan finally said.
“I just wish I could’ve seen them arrest him,” Emma said. “Say...” She looked around the room. “Penny, just how much have you told them about me?”
“Well, there was that story about the bedpan. Slowed down the bridge table a bit, that one. And of course that little bit about the Ponzi...”
“You told them all that, did you?” Emma asked.
“You wouldn’t want them to be caught off guard,” Penny said.
“I say good riddance,” Marilyn said. “Thank goodness he had that Saturday night special in his office!”
“It was a Glock, you dolt,” Susan said. “At least keep your weapons straight.”
Emma was shaking her head.
“What’s the matter, darling?” Penny asked.
“You’re incorrigible,” she said. “There is no logical reason why I should want to be exactly like you. Yet...”
They all giggled and lifted their glasses. “To women with balls,” someone said.
* * *
If Riley
was asked by a client to provide holiday housekeeping service, she charged double and offered the jobs to her senior housekeepers. There were always at least a few eager for the extra money and they would arrange their holiday celebrating accordingly. She was careful which jobs she accepted and who she sent because Nick and Makenna shouldn’t be asked to supervise. And Riley wanted to be called only in an emergency, which shouldn’t happen with a skilled crew.
Christmas was a holiday she’d dearly loved since Maddie was born. They did most of their celebrating at June’s house and Maddie wouldn’t have it any other way. Jock had joined them for dinner a few times, usually showed up early Christmas morning to watch Maddie open gifts, even stole Maddie away for a few hours to spend time with his family. He was always very cordial and respected Riley’s wishes, not pushing too much. He still spent most of his major holidays with his mom, dad, brother and sister. Once he’d asked if Maddie could stay over so they could have Christmas at his mom’s. Riley had known that wasn’t asking too much. But she’d said no, and he had come to June’s instead.
Riley loved helping her mother with the meals, Adam was always there Christmas Eve and Christmas Day, and over the years there had been the occasional extra guests—a girlfriend of Adam’s or friends or coworkers who would otherwise be alone. Now that Maddie was a teenager, Christmas morning wasn’t such a big deal and they’d do their gift opening later in the morning while the turkey roasted. June cooked all day, talking, laughing and singing carols when the spirit moved her. Riley spent the whole day with her mother and daughter. Adam was in and out because he liked delivering gifts and good tidings to his friends at their homes, just as friends and neighbors stopped by June’s house, knowing there would be eggnog, coffee and cookies. It was always warm, cozy, low-key, and made Riley feel secure. After all, she’d drawn the blueprint for this life.
She had a feeling everything was about to change. She could smell it in the wind.
Maddie was getting older, more mature. She was asking the questions Adam had predicted, and then some. She wanted to know how she came to be. Did her parents love each other? If they did, why did they stop? Riley could no longer live in denial—Jock was a pretty good dad and Maddie loved him.
And Adam, he would never leave them, but he wasn’t going to belong to them anymore. It was the elephant in the room—Emma had come back and Adam was different. Emma had come back and Riley had lost fifteen years, feeling thrown back in time. She wanted to ask where Emma was today but she wouldn’t. Surely Lyle would look after her. Or her landlady would.
Riley tried to savor the two days, to fill up on them, as if they’d have to hold her for a long time. The presents were a success and dinner was slowly being prepared. She stood at the stove and sink with her mother, got out the Christmas dishes and set the table. Maddie came into the dining room, her cell phone to her ear. “Put an extra plate on. Daddy is coming to dinner.”
“Does he know it’s at four?” Riley asked.
“He knows. He’s glad. He’ll have to go to work early tomorrow.”
Because Mackie’s would be a madhouse, Riley thought. People would be returning and exchanging all their gifts. He’d worked for Mackie’s full-time since getting his degree. Which took him over five years to accomplish, she reminded herself.
But he’d been there for fifteen years—part-time at first while he went to school, steadily working his way up. It wasn’t a big job but it was solid.
He wasn’t the senior partner of a law firm or chief of neurosurgery, but he worked hard, long hours in a tough, competitive business and his employees loved him. So when are you going to give him a break, huh? she asked herself.
He arrived, wearing the ugly Christmas sweater Maddie had gotten him, thrilling her and forcing a laugh out of everyone, even Adam. And too soon it was coming to a close and Riley had a sinking feeling the Christmas holidays she’d known since Maddie was born would never be the same. Maddie was growing up. She was so smart they were already looking at colleges. Riley, though still young, was staring in the face of a different life. June would age, Adam would leave her, Maddie would build a life of her own.
Riley’s phone rang and she fished it out of her purse.
“I just wanted to call to wish you a merry Christmas,” Logan said.
“And merry Christmas to you!” she replied cheerily. “We’re just sitting down. Can I give you a call after we eat?”
“Perfect,” he said. “I am blessedly finished with my family. I’m home.”
“I’ll call in a little while,” she said.
Jock and Adam both left while Riley and June were cleaning up the leftovers and washing the dishes. Maddie was on the phone planning a big shopping day with Gramma and two of her girlfriends for tomorrow bright and early. Riley would go to the office. The Monday after Christmas was always a busy day for her crews.
That left only tonight. Maddie was staying overnight with Gramma, and Riley was alone. She felt a little guilty that seeing Logan hadn’t even come to mind. It was only seven and Christmas was over.
It was a dark, cloudy night and she drove to Jock’s house. He’d lived in this house for three years now. It was small and one of the newer houses in Santa Rosa, a new construction. He was proud of it. Riley had never been inside but she knew where it was because she’d dropped Maddie off there to visit many times. Maddie hadn’t spent the night very often; her life was still mostly with her mom and gramma and girlfriends. Jock didn’t push any kind of custody arrangement. He didn’t dare. Riley scared him, she knew that.
She sat in her car out front for a while, just thinking. She wasn’t sure what she was going to do, but here she was. She was driven by some sentimental force she didn’t understand. After ten minutes or so, she walked up to the front door and rang the bell.
Jock threw open the door and looked at her in shock. “Riley?” he said. “You need Maddie to stay over?” he asked, looking over her shoulder.
He had gotten rid of the sweater and wore an old sweatshirt—Seahawks. His jeans were old, torn here and there and looked like a beloved garment and in absolutely poor taste. He was in his stocking feet and held the TV remote in his hand. The TV was muted but there were football players paused like statues on the screen.
“You shouldn’t just open the door like that,” she said. “I could’ve been a home invader or something.”
“In Santa Rosa?”
“We have crime here, you know.”
“Would you like to come in?” he asked.
“I don’t want to interrupt. I just had something on my mind and... Maddie’s growing up so fast.”
He stepped back and held the door open. “I’m having a cup of coffee. Would you like one?”
She absently rubbed her tummy. “I’ve had too much of everything today. But I wondered if we could have a little talk.”
“Something wrong?” he asked, walking back into his living room.
“No, I—” She stopped talking and looked around. He had a tan velour sectional, a tall dining table surrounded by stools—looked like a poker table. There was a wall unit and a big-screen, but it looked like someone had actually helped him decorate. There were female touches—throw pillows, a marble bowl on the table, a couple of framed prints on the wall, shelved books, a shadow box with pictures of Maddie from childhood. “This is very nice, Jock.”
“Would you like to see Maddie’s room?” he asked.
“Sure,” she said.
He led the way and she was stunned to see an actual girl’s bedroom. The furniture matched, the bulletin board was covered with pictures, there was pretty bedding, a couple of her trophies were on the bureau, there was a desk and chair, and her pom-poms from seventh grade were hanging up on the wall. On her bedside table was a professionally done portrait of Jock and Maddie. It was beautiful. She walked over to it and picked it up.
> “When did you have this taken?”
“Last year. We’d have given you one but I was pretty sure that wouldn’t work. My mom has one.”
“Why didn’t Maddie tell me?” she asked.
“I suppose because she thinks you don’t like it that I’m her father,” he said.
“Oh, nonsense,” she said defensively, with the slightest blush. “I’m surprised by all this. Maddie doesn’t stay over here very often.”
“She has, though. Did you think I put her on the couch? She knows she has a room here whenever she wants it or needs it. I bet she has a room at Adam’s...”
“No,” Riley said. “No, of course not. But if Mom and I were both going somewhere and needed a babysitter, he wouldn’t mind coming over to my house. Or Mom’s house. But this is so nice. Thanks.”
“She doesn’t use it that much,” he said. “Come on, Riley. What do you want to talk about? You never want to talk.”
She turned and went back to the living room. “We talk,” she said as she went. She sat at the end of the sectional, as far from where his coffee cup sat as she could get. She put her purse down on the floor beside her but didn’t even open her coat. “We talk,” she said again.
“Not really,” he said, sitting down. “You’re very businesslike.”
“Well, I suppose that goes with the territory. I run a business and I’m used to being that way.”
“And tonight?” he asked.
She sighed deeply. “I don’t know why, but it just struck me—things will be changing again. Maddie’s growing up. She’s a woman now.”