by Sarah Holman
“Flattering, but I don’t have all the answers.”
“Yes, you do.”
“No, I don’t.”
“You do.”
“I don’t.”
“Do.”
“Don’t.”
“Do.”
Brian shook his head. “I refuse to play this game with you. I know I don’t have all the answers.”
A notification popped onto Patrick’s screen. He met Brian’s gaze. “Another bomb.”
“Where?”
“Another neighborhood, not far from here.”
“How far?” Brian glanced significantly toward Brett.
It took him a moment to pull it up on a map. “About ten minutes away.” Brett was late. Was he busy planting the bomb? Was his reformed exterior only a cover? Had he been waiting all this time, planning his revenge on the school that kicked him out?
“Liam accepted my invite to watch the game on our set tonight.”
“Maybe we can get our other guy to join us,” Patrick said.
“You want to do the honors this time?” Brian swept his hand toward the counter.
“Sure, but I’ll have to see if Kim is busy tonight. I might not have time to watch a sports game.” He winked at his friend.
“Nope, you’re not getting out of this. Kim can wait.”
Patrick sobered. He needed to talk to Brian about Kim. He needed help figuring out what was going on with her. Brian would know what to do. He always knew what to do. But first, he had to make contact with a possible bomber. He took his coffee up to the counter.
“Hey, could I get some more cream in this?” Patrick asked Brett.
Brett turned from his boss and looked grateful for the reprieve. “Sure, man.”
Patrick watched him retrieve the pitcher and bring it over. When he returned, he knew exactly what to say. “Can you believe managers? They tell you not showing up on time hurts the customers, and they make a scene that makes the customers uncomfortable in doing it.”
Brett glanced in the direction his boss had been, but the manager had retreated to the back. “Yeah, jerks.”
“Lost a job to a guy just like that a few weeks ago. Jerk is a mild word.” And that caught Patrick’s attention. It was clear that Brett was upset and angry, yet, when offered a sympathetic ear, he had used a mild word to describe the guy. Well, mild by today’s standards where curses and the ugliest of words were dropped with ease. It surprised him.
“Any luck finding a new job?”
Patrick shrugged. “Not yet, but it won’t take me long, I’m sure. I would ask about an opening here but I really don’t need that kind of boss right now.”
“Well, we do have an opening if you change your mind. It isn’t so bad as long as you show up on time.”
“I guess.” Patrick picked up his coffee cup before returning to his table.
“Go well?” Brian asked.
“I’ll invite him to the football game before we leave,” Patrick said, writing the apartment address onto a napkin. When he was done, his mind turned back to Kim. “Can I get some advice?”
“What’s on your mind?” Brian took another sip of his coffee.
“It’s Kim.”
Brian’s wide grin appeared. “Oh, girl problems.” He winked.
“Yeah, especially when two of them are involved.”
Brian nodded and stood. “Let’s walk outside.”
Patrick agreed and slipped on his blue jacket and headed to the register once again. “Hey, a group of guys are coming to watch a football game at my place tonight. If you want to come and blow off some steam with us, here’s the address.” Hopefully he wouldn’t blow up a bomb as well.
Brett took the napkin and tucked it into his pocket. “Thanks.”
Patrick lifted his chin and then headed out the door. The air was nippy and felt invigorating. With all the Christmas decorations and happy shoppers scurrying about, it was hard to think that a bomb had just gone off nearby.
“So, tell me about your girl troubles.”
“Kate wants to go home for Christmas. I told her I would try to help her, and Kim is upset.”
Brian’s head tilted to one side. “Why?”
“I’m not sure. She says that I’m trying to save the world, but I don’t think it’s about that at all. I talked with Thomas about the issue. I’m not trying to go around him. Kate wants to go home to make things right with her parents. I want to help her do that if I can.”
Brian nodded.
“I’m wondering if this has more to do with Kim’s family. She can’t go home and make things right with her parents, and Kate can. Maybe it feels wrong to her.”
“Rejection by your own parents does weird things to your brain.”
“Do you see a problem with me helping Kate?”
“Did she ask for your help?”
“Yes.” Patrick felt a little swell of pride that he hadn’t jumped in when he hadn’t been asked.
“Are you willing to accept no as an answer?”
Patrick thought about Kate. She was desperate to make this happen. She needed to make things right with her family. She hadn’t seen her parents in a year. No could be a difficult answer for her but… “Yes, I’m willing to accept that.”
“Then I don’t think that you have a problem.”
“What about Kim?”
“What about her?” Brian asked.
He huffed. “She’s my friend too. This has upset her and I would like to help her if I can.”
Brian took a sip from his coffee cup and looked around at the businesses that sported reindeer, Santas, and twinkling lights. “One thing I’ve learned about Kim is that she will figure it out herself. She knows what’s right and wrong in other people but sometimes doesn’t see what’s wrong within her. She is one of those people who have to figure it out on their own.”
Patrick’s brows lifted. “Isn’t she always touting how we need each other?”
A grin spread across Brian’s face. “Aren’t we humans funny? We often chide others for the faults that are worst in ourselves. God might use someone to reach Kim, but it will have to be someone who doesn’t mind pounding the point in over and over again. Maybe that’s why God brought Kate into her life.”
Patrick choked on the coffee he had just swallowed. After sputtering for a moment, he finally was able to speak. “Kate? Take on Kim?”
“Why not?” Brian didn’t blink as they stared at each other.
Why not? Because Kim was an immovable rock and Kate was struggling to figure out so many things. “I can’t see anyone being able to change Kim’s mind.”
Brian stared into the gray distance. “Nothing God does is by mistake. He has a purpose for each action. I think Kate is here for a lot more than so we can push her. I think our team needs her as much as she needs us. She is wounded, but she’s a warrior.”
“What do you think wounded her?”
Brian’s gaze returned to Patrick. “The sin that corrupts this whole world.”
“Care to be more specific?”
“I don’t know. It could be any number of things and she may or may not choose to tell us. But the wound is healing and her strength is returning.”
He could see that. She was willing to accept him as a friend. She was talking more. He thought about her as he had known her a year before. They said time was the great healer of emotional wounds, but he couldn’t help but hope that some of the healing was because of them.
Alone in a Crowd
Friday, December 4 10:30AM
“Thank you for helping us,” Logan said as she stood on the coffee table.
Penny Oke smiled. “I’m happy to help. It’s always exciting to see people jump right in and get involved with the church and the community. This costume is going to look amazing. Kate, are you sure you don’t want a hoopskirt?”
Kate smirked. “I’ve been in dresses only a handful of times. I think I’ll skip the hoopskirt.”
“You’ll look great in
the maroon dress.”
Logan smiled and turned as their hostess continued to take measurements. “And with me in green we’ll be a matching Christmas pair.”
Focusing on the hem she was stitching, Kate decided this would be a good time to ask questions. “I tried to talk with a young man from church, Hal.”
“That was good of you,” Penny said. “He doesn’t talk to many people at church.”
“He didn’t really talk to me. I just tried. One of the other girls filled me in on his story.”
Penny clacked her tongue. “That poor boy has had a rough time of it and doesn’t seem to want to let anyone help him.”
“It must be hard to grow up without your parents involved,” Kate said. Even though she hadn’t always appreciated her parents, at least she had both of them and they had cared about her.
“I don’t know what I would do without my family,” Logan said. “Even if they did stick me with my name.”
“What’s wrong with your name?” Penny asked.
Logan sighed. “Nothing, I guess. But it isn’t very girly.”
“You wish your parents had given you a more feminine name?”
“Yes. It’s hard to be a girly-girl and stuck with a name that people think of as a boy’s name.”
“You are a feminine girl. No name can change that.”
Kate smiled at the woman. She was right and she hoped that Logan would find it encouraging. Her mind went back to her family and her heart squeezed. Nothing had been said about her return home, but she felt a renewed eagerness to make things right with her parents, especially her dad. She wondered if Patrick had made any progress with Thomas. Knowing him, he was at least making an effort.
“Has anyone else tried to reach out to Hal?” Logan asked.
Janice nodded from next to her mother. “A lot of the young people did. He just doesn’t want to be friends with us.”
Logan stepped off the table. “Maybe he doesn’t feel like he fits in with this group.”
“I don’t think there is one person that hasn’t felt alone even in a crowd.” Janice smoothed out some fabric on the table. “I guess it’s what we do when we feel that way that counts.”
Kate blinked. She had always felt like she was one of the few people alone. Unbidden, the memory of her in a sparkling dress, standing by a wall, entered her mind. Everyone else had seemed to have someone, but not her. On campus, she had been alone without any friends except Ingrid, and that hadn’t ended well. She was an Army brat—never staying long enough to get to know anyone.
“How people have treated Hal has made me proud of our young adults,” Janice said. “He was pretty antagonistic and many of the guys worked hard to bring the fun to him. They still do. It’s hard to watch Hal keep pushing them away, but it’s a wonderful testimony.”
Kate stared harder at the hem. Isn’t that what the team had done for her? They had been her friends and pursued her even when she wasn’t being very lovable. She wished she could lay aside this work and go and talk to Patrick. She wanted to share with him and ask if he had ever felt alone. Did guys admit to things like that? Maybe it was only girls.
“Did you hear about the explosion this morning?” Logan asked.
Janice shrugged. “I try not to think about it. I start wondering where the guy is going to strike next.”
This explosion had resulted in another death, a young boy who had picked up a package on the front step. Kate hadn’t heard what the connection was to the school yet, but that a child had died from it was sickening.
“I’m praying that they catch them soon,” Mrs. Oke said. “I’ve heard they are thinking of canceling the Dickens of a Christmas.”
“Even if they don’t cancel, you know that attendance will be way down,” Janice admitted.
They all lapsed into silence.
Kate sat on her bed, her Bible open before her. She had completed her Bible reading for the day and written a prayer in her prayer journal. Now she sat wondering why Patrick didn’t text her back. Well, the reason probably had to do with the case.
She sighed and flopped back onto her bed.
“You okay?” Logan stood in the doorway, her hands folded behind her back.
“I’m okay.” Kate pulled herself into a sitting position. “Have you felt alone before?”
“Sure.” Logan sat on the edge of the bed.
“How could you? I’ve seen your family. They are loving and always around. And you always have friends who want to hang around you.”
A soft smile rested on Logan’s lips. “Have you ever been in a crowded room and felt alone?”
The instance with a sparkling dress came to mind. “Yes.”
“Everyone has. No one, no matter how connected they are, feels connected all the time. Especially those of us who choose to follow Christ and live differently than the world will feel alone.”
“What do you do when you feel like that?”
“Mostly sit around and feel sorry for myself.”
Kate raised a brow.
Logan laughed. “Hey, I was being honest. I should go to God and ask Him to fill that loneliness, but more often than not, that’s when you’ll find me curled up on the couch eating Blue Bell ice cream and watching Hallmark movies.”
Kate chuckled. “If Kim were here, she probably would have some deep wisdom. I like your answer better.”
“Kim is wise beyond her years and lives out her faith like few do. However, she sometimes forgets that she has flaws and to have compassion on others.”
Kate wasn’t sure what to say, but she silently agreed.
“I think feeling like we are alone is one of Satan’s tools. One of his greatest deceptions is that we are on our own, that no one cares, that no one can understand us. Sometimes, there is truth to that. Yet, the more important truth is that not only is God with us, but He calls us to fellowship with others.”
“But fellowship, friendship, and even just being with people can be hard.” Kate looked down at her hands. “Sometimes it even makes the feeling of being alone worse.”
Logan scooted closer and pulled one of Kate’s hands into hers. “I’ve been there. I’m guessing you’ve been at that place a lot more often than I have. It’s easy when we feel like that to push people away because we don’t feel like they understand. It’s easy to use it as an excuse for why we aren’t going to try to be friends to others. Sometimes what God calls us to isn’t easy, isn’t fun, and it hurts, but it’s for our ultimate good.”
Kate thought back to all the times she didn’t think she could stay with this team because it hurt. She had wanted to give up so often. She was glad they had put so much effort into her.
“Most people who set bombs like this are very isolated, and they have pushed everyone away. Isolation breeds warped thinking.”
“It’s a good thing then that I have all of you to keep my thinking straight.” Kate smiled.
Logan gave her a playful push. “Just remind yourself that when you feel alone, you aren’t really. You have a lot of people who care about you.”
Kate smiled. “Thanks, Pink.” She watched Logan leave the room. Logan was a lot wiser than she gave herself credit for. Her phone buzzed; it was Patrick.
I’m sorry. I’m busy tonight. I’ll talk with you tomorrow.
She sighed and curled up to read a book before going to sleep. She soon lost herself in the pages of The Heavens Before by Kacy Barnett-Gramckow.
The Sport
Friday, December 4 6:15PM
Why do I always get stuck with the jobs like these?
Patrick looked around the shabby apartment. They had been successful as Brett and Liam had showed up for their sports-watching event. He wasn’t sure how they had managed it. After all, wouldn’t their killer want to be alone? Maybe it was a bad sign they had showed up. Then again, one of them could have dropped off a bomb on his way over here and it was good cover.
He thought again of the text from Kate and he wanted to groan. She wanted to tal
k and he had to put her off. He would try to make up for it tomorrow. He finished stirring the cheese dip and came in just as Liam cursed loudly and called the dean of the college an unflattering name.
“Colleges,” Brian huffed. “They take your money and what do you get? Rules and they kick you out. The ones that don’t take money demand your soul.”
Patrick coughed to cover the fact Brian’s words made him want to laugh. It sounded like an overdramatic line from some poorly written TV show.
“You said it, man. It almost makes me want to blow something up. Maybe this bomber might do it for us.” Liam took a large swallow from the specially packaged beers they had. Special because it didn’t really have any alcohol. Not that Liam or Brett knew that. Patrick placed the cheese dip on the wobbly coffee table and looked toward Brett.
“They kicked you out too, didn’t they?”
Brett nodded. “Yes.”
“I guess they can’t handle anyone who doesn’t act ‘perfect.’” Brian put air quotes around the word.
“You said it, man,” Liam said, taking another swallow. “Run while you can. Don’t let them get control of your life.”
If they were voting on a bomber, Patrick voted for Liam. However, he kept his gaze on Brett. He looked uncomfortable.
“I deserved what I got.” Brett’s words were spoken softly and everyone turned toward him.
“I signed the papers. I knew what was expected of me and I did drugs anyway.”
“No one deserved to be treated the way we were!” Liam stood, his hands fisted.
Patrick wondered if this was one time he would not only have to deal with nuts but also have to call the police. Liam had been in trouble for being violent. He didn’t like the look in the guy’s eyes. One glance at Brian told him that his friend was also aware how dangerous this situation could become.
“They are a bunch of self-righteous people who only care about making people follow their rules.”
“They offered us a free education. That is worth a lot more than what we, or anyone, can give,” Brett said, staring at the floor. “Only, I was too stupid to see that before I was kicked out. It will take me a lot longer to complete school now.”