by Wil Ogden
FORTUNE FAVORS THE FOOL
Tali followed Kohr into the tiny tavern. Kohr immediately bellowed, “Who's got the dice?”
It'd been the same in every village. Tali had never met anyone as boisterous as Kohr, nor anyone as gregarious. Kohr found some men willing to dice against him for small amounts of coin. Kohr won but spent half the money buying drinks for anyone who would listen to his tales. The tales were Tali's interest. Tali sat close by and wrote down every word that came out of Kohr's inebriated mouth.
The man had endless tales of how he outwitted, outmaneuvered, out gambled or out drank every monster of legend and every villain in history. Never did he tell a tale twice and never did he fight. According to Kohr, he won through audacity and ignorance and every tale ended with Kohr smiling and announcing, “Fortune favors the fool.”
Tali had been accompanying the fool for two seasons and had never seen him encounter a foe more daunting than flat beer. After Kohr bought the third round of drinks for the dozen other people in the small tavern and finished a tale where he convinced minotaur to tie its own hooves together with its tail, an older man approached him.
“I am Jenks. I am the elder of the village. We need a hero like you.”
Kohr blinked and jerked his head. “Oh?”
“As you walked through our village, did you notice anything odd?”
Kohr seemed confused but Tali, thinking back, noticed that there were no women. He voiced his guess.
“Your follower noticed our dilemma,” Jenks said.
Kohr's face began to show concern. Tali wasn't sure if the big guy was worried about the village's lack of women or his own.
“Why? Do you hide your women?” Kohr asked.
“We tried,” Jenks said sadly. “When they started to disappear last season we tried to keep them safely indoors and guarded, but still they disappeared. None of us knew where. Thirty women gone without even a footprint in the dirt. Finally, three weeks ago, we found a note nailed to our well. It said to send our champion to the Eyes of Fire and, if the champion faced the challenge, the women would be returned to us.”
“What are the Eyes of Fire?” Tali asked.
“They are two indentions on the cliff face down the river at a waterfall. At midnight every night they glow brightly for an hour.” Jenks said.
“Did your champion go?”
“He did.” Jenks pointed to a dark table in the corner. A lone man with shoulders broader than Tali had ever seen sat slumped over a pitcher of beer. “He won't talk about it anymore. He mentioned a demon and an unholy game of chance.”
“I'll go.” Kohr said. “If he came back, so will I, but I will win. Fortune favors the fool.”
“It’s down the river on the north bank.” Jenks led Kohr to the door and Tali followed. Tali and Kohr went out and followed the river to a cliff face. A man dressed in red silk robes stood by two dark indentions in the cliff face.
“Do you come to face the challenge? Do you come to rescue the thirty women of the village?” the red-robed man asked.
“Maybe,” Kohr replied. “What do I need to do?”
“There are two eyes. Stand in one of them. At midnight they will flare up, one will burn hot, the other will burn cool.”
“The women get set free either way.” Kohr stated. “Your requirement was that I face the challenge, not defeat it.”
“If you both face the challenge, the women will be set free,” the robed man said.
“But one of us will die,” Tali said. “Why do you do this? What kind of evil are you.”
The red robed man looked away from Tali. “I am evil, but not by choice. I require sacrifice as sustenance, but I can only take life when it is given.”
“Thirty lives make it worth it.” Kohr said, as he climbed the cliffs to stand in one of the Eyes, Tali heard him whisper, “Fortune favors the fool.”
“Thirty lives for one,” Tali pondered. “I'm not a hero. What if I do not choose to participate?”
“The challenge has been accepted,” the red robed figure said. He waved his hand towards Tali and a force threw Tali up into the other Eye.
Tali tried, but could not move his arms or legs. “I can't move.”
“Me either,” Kohr said. “I am sorry, Tali. I liked having you along to write down my stories.”
Tali sighed and intoned, “Fortune favors the fool.” He hoped death would be swift and painless. He panicked as he realized that his book of Kohr's stories was in the pack slung across his back; two seasons of following that fool around and the world had nothing gained from it. Then the flames appeared all around him dancing in red and orange light. Tali did not feel any pain or even heat. He heard a deep brief scream from Kohr. A moment later Tali could move. He leaned out of the eye in time to see Kohr’s body burn away to ashes.
The red-robed man clapped his hands once. “The women are back in the village.”
“But...”
“What you said was true,” The robed figure said, “Fortune favors the fool.”
“But, Kohr was the fool.”
“Who is the greater fool--the fool or the fool that follows him?” The red robed man laughed.
“That can't be why.” Tali wondered if he'd been a fool all along for following Kohr around, hoping for stories he could add to his own repertoire.
The red robed man shrugged. “No, not really, but it makes for a better story than realizing that I can only consume that which is willingly given and of the two of you, you were not standing in the fire by choice.” He then clapped his hands and was gone.
Tali took out his book and started to write the one story of Kohr that he hadn't heard from the boastful fool's mouth.
About this story:
Tali in this story is Taliesion, who appears in “Of Maia’s Mist” and “Piper…”.
This story was inspired by a writing contest for April Fool’s Day, where the theme was “Fortune Favors the Fool”. It won unanimously.