by Michael Todd
Moloch slammed his hand down on the desk, trapping a lizard that had almost made its way out of the bowl under his claws. He picked it up by its tail and dangled it over his open mouth, savoring the slight stink of fear. He dropped it, and his teeth came crunching down. Blood squirted out of his mouth and ran down his chin. He thought about what Baal had said but shook his head. “Getting rid of those two won’t be easy.”
Baal leaned back in his chair and lifted one of his dark, furry eyebrows. “Let me ask you a question, Moloch. You’ve attacked some of the biggest cities in the world and killed some of the most important humans on Earth. Why haven’t you gone after the weapons yet?”
Moloch waved dismissively and shook his head. “T’Chezz already tried that and failed. He didn’t even get close to the weapons maker, much less figure out where all the weapons were being created. Even when he found their base, they managed to get out and get their weapons to safety without breaking a sweat. After that, the weapons industry exploded.”
They sat there stewing for a moment in silence, then lifted their heads and blinked at each other. Moloch sat forward and slapped his hand against his forehead.
Moloch shook his head. “I’m a fucking idiot. T’Chezz tried it! I should be banned from eating kittens for a week. I can’t believe I let that moron and his half-hearted efforts persuade me that something couldn’t be done. He wasn’t capable of sucking the soul out of a baby, much less hatching a plan to capture the human weapons. Yet here I was, thinking it was impossible because that moron failed.”
Baal leaned forward and patted Moloch on the shoulder. “Don’t be too hard on yourself. It’s like watching a train wreck—you just want to jump in and eat all the burning bodies before they turn to ash. You aren’t thinking about the fact that there’s a much better way to do it. We definitely need to look into the weapons situation again, though.”
Moloch wiped his chin and eyed the last chocolate-covered lizard in the bowl. “I agree. If we could get control of those weapons, they might be the key to fighting back against Katie and Lilith. She may be a demon, and Katie may be an angel-human hybrid, but those weapons will kill just about anything—including humans. The Damned wouldn’t know what hit them.”
Baal bellowed loudly, Moloch almost instantly joining in. “I’d love to see Lilith’s face when she plummets back down to hell!”
3
Katie sat back on the couch in her apartment, put her feet up, and let out a deep huff of contentment. It wasn’t often that she had the luxury of relaxing in her yoga pants and an oversized T-shirt. Her hair was still wet from earlier, but it would soon dry. The adrenaline from kicking those two idiots six ways from Sunday and then stripping in front of the security guards kept a smile on her face. She had definitely become more assured over the years, and what did she have to lose? She could have a little fun when the mood struck her. She was one of the Damned. Her demon was the wife of Satan. On top of that, she was apparently part angel.
Although she had to admit, being the bad girl was a lot more fun than playing the angel.
Pandora cackled. Damn right it is!
Katie smirked, but before she could say anything her phone buzzed on the table. She picked it up and wrinkled her nose when she saw the general’s number on the screen.
Katie answered playfully, hoping it was good news. “Hey there, General. What can I do for you today?”
“Katie. It’s always good to hear your voice.”
Katie recognized his tone straight away. “Uh-oh, sounds like you might need something.”
The general chuckled. “I forget that you like to get down to brass tacks. I know I’ve already asked twice, but I just have to ask one last time. Are you sure you’re not willing to do a ‘hearts and minds’ tour?”
Katie sighed and banged her head on the back of the couch in frustration. “I’m more than sure. In fact, I’m so adamantly opposed to a hearts and minds tour that I can’t even recognize the request you’re making. It’s like you’re speaking Latin right now. I really don’t understand why you want me to do one anyway. You know I’m not the kind of girl you want schmoozing, kissing babies, and shaking hands with all those jerkoffs. I promise it wouldn’t be pretty.”
The general snickered. “I know. I’ll admit, I had to agree to ask you one last time in order to get two of my senators off the phone call. You know how they like good press when it’s getting close to election season.”
“I feel like it’s always getting close to election season, even right after an election.” Katie rolled her eyes, already picturing the banners and signs plastered along the roads.
“That’s very true.” The general paused meaningfully. “While I have you on the phone, I do want to have another meeting with you, but this time I would like to go someplace different.”
Pandora was confused. Someplace different? What the hell does that mean?
My best guess? Probably somewhere he knows isn’t bugged. These days, I can’t even go into a public toilet without worrying about someone listening to me pee.
Pandora shivered, thinking about the last public toilet they used. In New York City, I’m pretty sure you were more worried about real bugs than surveillance bugs from demons.
That is true, my friend. Very true. Katie laughed, turning her attention back to the phone. “Sure. You order a chopper, and I’ll bring lunch.”
The general sounded nervous. “I’m not exactly sure what you have in mind.”
Katie laughed. “Trust me.”
Pandora whooped. You know what you should tell him we will do? A Ropes and Binds tour. That way, I can tie up some of those scrumptious men in uniform whose minds you keep promising to blow. If you’re not gonna do it, I might as well. Although it’s less their minds I’m thinking of blowing and more—
You’ve been so damn frisky since our time with Brock.
Pandora shivered again, only this time with a smile. What can I say? The man packs a mean sausage, and knows what tastes good.
Oh, my God. Can you be quiet for just like five minutes?
Pandora ignored her. Well, he isn’t dead, and it’s been forty-eight hours, so I’m calling the Vagina of Death a conspiracy theory.
Forty-eight hours is not long enough to call it a conspiracy theory. And it’s not like I think my vagina is killing them, just the fact that I’m both an angel and a demon.
“So, are we good, General?” Katie glanced down at her watch, ready to get off the fucking phone.
“We are good. I’ll send you a text when the chopper is on its way.”
“Perfect.” Katie hung up, but Pandora wasn’t done.
Okay, spill it. What the hell are you up to?
A mischievous grin moved over Katie’s lips. Nope. You have to wait, just like the general does. I promise it’s gonna be a whole lot of fun.
Why do I not believe you, even for a second?
Katie smiled at the name on the screen the next time it rang. “Katie’s door-to-door demon slaying, no demon too big or too small. How can I help you?”
Calvin smirked. “I’m glad to see you still have a sense of humor.”
“It rears its ugly head from time to time, but usually Pandora sucks it out of me.”
Pandora sniffed hard with excitement. Tell my black Superman he needs to bring his body back to New York, pronto. Someone needs to keep you under control.
Katie half-groaned, half-snorted. “Pandora thinks you need to come back and keep me in check.”
Calvin scoffed loudly. “Please! I couldn’t do that even when we worked on the same side of the country. What does she think I’m gonna do? She can’t do anything, and she’s in control of your body.”
Katie wrinkled her forehead and emphatically stuck her finger in the air. “Uh, she is not in control of my body—let me just make that perfectly clear. If she were, you would see a whole different dimension to me. She would probably add dimensions, too. I’d turn up to a briefing one day and be so top-heavy I’d fall ove
r. I wouldn’t put it past her.”
Calvin laughed loudly. “That is definitely true. In fact, that’s one of the top signs I’ve put on my list to make sure you haven’t been taken over.”
Katie nodded and laughed along with him. “That would definitely be one of them. So, what’s up? Everything good with the team?”
“Yep, working like clockwork. I was actually calling to let you know that I have the bandwidth to come to New York if you need me.”
“Oh, yeah? What about your girl? She’s a good one, and I don’t want you to go and piss her off.”
Calvin snickered. He knew she didn’t want him to leave, but he wasn’t going to tell Katie that. “No. We agree she needs to finish her schooling, but it just so happens that she’s thinking about transferring to New York after this semester.”
Katie grimaced, thinking about her time in college. “Not UNLV?”
“Ah, nope. She told me there was no need for her to be in a place that was hell on Earth three months out of the year.”
Katie chuckled. “Smart girl. Though if I remember correctly, it wasn’t all that terrible. Actually, let me take that back. Now that I know about the world and what’s happening in it, you couldn’t pay me to go back to that school.”
Calvin lowered his voice just a tad. “That’s what I’m saying. She’s gotten a taste of the real world, and she doesn’t want to spend her time in a place like that if she doesn’t have to. She does love the idea of coming to New York, though, and I don’t mind it too much, considering you’re there. I know that even if I’m not around, she’ll be safe.”
“That’s me. But yeah, of course, I would have her back. You know that.”
“That I do. Well, I’m going to let you go. I’ve got a lot to take care of out here. Just wanted to call and check in.”
Katie grinned. “It’s nice having a big brother.”
Calvin tried to keep it light. “Don’t get all mushy on me. I’ll talk to you soon. Let me know if you need me.”
“You know I will,” she replied.
Katie hung up and stood there for a second, smiling at the empty screen. In reality, it was beyond nice to have someone act like a big brother, and Calvin fit the mold perfectly. Now that things had slowed down and Korbin and Stephanie were back in action—kind of—Katie was feeling more like herself every day.
Angie walked around the corner into the living room, carrying a DVD case. “So, I picked a movie, mostly because I like the extras.”
Katie shook the thought from her mind and looked at Angie, excited. “Sweet. Which one is it?”
Angie held the DVD case up and shook it from side to side. “It’s Batman, the Michael Keaton version.”
“Nice. I like Christian Bale as Batman. He’s probably my favorite, but I think it’s important to start with the classics. Of course, I don’t mean going all the way back to the 1943 Lewis Wilson version or anything. I just mean the newer movies.”
Angie took the DVD out of the case, walked over to the television, and stopped, fiddling with the case. “I completely agree with you. The Batman movies have definitely gotten a lot darker since the Michael Keaton days. I guess I like both versions, the funny and fantastical of the old ones and the seriousness of the new ones.”
Katie rolled her eyes and snorted. “Of course, we can’t forget about the newest one.”
Angie groaned, throwing her head back dramatically. “Lord, the age of Ben Affleck. Actually, he didn’t do all that terribly. I just think I hate the Batman versus Superman saga. I really wanted to enjoy it, but I swear, after an hour of watching a plot that could have been resolved by a simple conversation I just fell asleep. Twice.”
Katie popped a handful of M&Ms into her mouth from the candy dish on the coffee table. “Agreed, but I think if Pandora’s gonna watch Batman she needs to see the Michael Keaton before she sees the Bale. Then the Affleck if she really insists, and only if we’re going to watch the whole cycle so she can get context on the brood-fest.”
Angie put the DVD in the player and pressed the Close button, then plopped down on the couch next to Katie. “I got some info on the testing going on with Timothy’s system.”
Katie looked at her excitedly. “And?”
Angie grinned. “It’s going freaking phenomenally. We’re on track to get our full price if he keeps it up for another sixty days.”
Katie clapped her hands for joy. “Fantastic! So, everything’s been on point?”
Angie swallowed a gulp of her soda and nodded. “The cops, with the right weapons, were waiting for the portal nine times out of ten. On the tenth, they got there so fast that they could help people to safety before the gate even opened. It’s pretty much a win.”
Katie leaned back on the couch and put her feet up on the coffee table. “Perfect! All right, let’s begin the Batman saga.”
The movie started, and Angie flipped off the lights. The silhouette of Gotham City came onto the screen, and Pandora oohed and ahhed as the camera panned out to frame the dirty and dark reaches of the metropolis. That looks like my kind of city.
Katie just smiled.
Pandora sighed. Tragic death of the parents. It always starts like that.
Pandora watched excitedly as Batman knocked a few junkies on a roof around, throwing one through a door and dangling the other over the edge of the building. Katie couldn’t help but laugh at the old-style special effects, but Pandora was more than entertained.
“I’m Batman,” Michael Keaton rumbled, starting the movie with a bang.
Pandora shrieked inside Katie’s head, causing Katie to grimace. Holy shit! “I’m Batman.” That’s perfect. I want to be a fucking vigilante superhero!
Katie rolled her eyes. We already are.
Hell, you’re right! I’m a fucking superhero. This is amazing. Why didn’t you introduce me to the superheroes before now? All these men in latex and rubber… Wait! Kajesus!
What? Katie was almost too scared to ask.
Is that a nipple on that armor?
Yeah, made out of rubber. Katie thought it was both funny and a bit strange that Pandora was so hooked on superheroes all of a sudden.
Dude, I’ll give up one week of donuts if you allow me to do one night of superheroine antics…with wings!
Katie bit the inside of her cheek and rolled the candy around in her hand. Well…I don’t know.
Pandora whined loudly. Come on.
Okay, under one condition. You can only do it if you can get the wings out and back in on your own. I don’t want us to be switching or something and have the wings disappear. That shit would hurt.
True. Not to mention it wouldn’t be very impressive at all to faceplant from thirty feet up at the feet of the criminals. That would be slightly embarrassing.
Angie looked at Katie and raised an eyebrow, knowing something was going on inside the woman’s head. Katie glanced back at her and rolled her eyes. “Apparently, now we’re not just demon fighters. We’re superheroes.”
Angie couldn’t help but laugh. “Hey, that’s what everybody thinks about you and the rest of the teams anyway. Maybe I can make you a sweet mask to wear or something else superhero-y.”
Katie twisted her face in exasperation. “God, don’t say things like that. She’ll take you up on the offer.”
Angie laughed loudly, already picturing Katie with a cape.
The wind blew wildly around the deserted area just beyond the neon lights of Las Vegas. Sand and trash whipped through the air, tumbled over the sidewalk, and scattered into the street. Down one of the dark, deserted alleys, a swinging gate creaked open with each new gust, then creaked back shut as it subsided.
There was a loud snap, and in the center of the brick wall, a portal opened. Moloch stepped out of the steaming-hot portal and allowed it to shut behind him. He knew the humans were tracking him somehow, and he didn’t want to give them any reason to show up there.
He ducked out of the alley, closed his eyes, straightened his back, and crac
ked his neck from side to side, then took a deep whiff of the fresh, cool Earth air. A gust of wind blew the dank sour-piss smell of the alley into his nostrils, and Moloch reveled in the scent, slowly letting the air leave his lungs. When he opened his eyes, he looked around. No one was watching. At least, no one except the two people he had come to see.
To the right, their hats tipped low, two men stepped forward. Their black boots sloshed through the oily water on the cracked asphalt. Moloch stood tall, his voice deep and bellowing. “You came.”
One of the men took off his hat and hesitantly stared up at Moloch, the light from the adjacent window revealing the fear in his eyes. “We told you we were believers, Oh Great One, and we told you we would do whatever you bade us do.”
Moloch grinned menacingly, displaying his long, pointed teeth. “Excellent. A lot has happened topside that I don’t like at all. I want control of you humans, but I keep getting shafted by your technology.”
The other guy swallowed hard and took off his hat, stepping up beside his friend. “I can understand that. The military is constantly improving on the technology they received from that Katie merc. It’s even been hard for us to keep up with.”
Moloch snarled, and the sound forced the men to take a step back. “I’m going to need you to pay a little bit more attention to what you’re doing. More importantly, I need you to take more interest in what they are doing.”
The first guy cut his eyes to the other man in an accusatory look, then turned back to Moloch, putting his head down and looking at the ground. “Whatever Your Greatness requires. We’re at your service.”