Sure, he wasn’t holding the whip, but he was there… watching. Participating.
“Strike her,” Commander Godfrey said.
There was a brief pause as I tensed, waiting for the whip to slice through my rough, scarred skin.
The Watcher’s voice quivered. “I’m not sure—”
“Try. You’ll learn the quickest by doing it yourself,” Commander Godfrey said.
It was training. The Watchers were being taught how to torture someone, and I was the lucky someone.
My body jerked at the whip stinging my back. It hadn’t cracked, and my skin hadn’t been ripped apart as I was expecting.
“No,” Commander Godfrey said. “You’ll need to do it harder than that. Flick your wrist.”
“Okay,” Watcher Davis said.
I heard him suck in a breath seconds before he made another attempt. It was harder, but still, I tolerated it. My skin was tough. Like I wore an outer shell.
“Better,” Commander Godfrey said. “Give it a try, Watcher Oliver.”
“Sure,” he said. It was just one word, but the joy in it was unmistakable.
Watcher Oliver’s first attempt was just as weak and pathetic as Watcher Davis’s had been. His second, however, was harder. I clenched my teeth, but I held still.
“Watcher Jones, please show them how it’s done,” Commander Godfrey ordered with a chuckle. “Don’t worry, it gets easier each time. Isn’t that right, Watcher Jones?”
“That’s right, Commander. Incredibly easy, especially when you remind yourself they are criminals,” Watcher Jones said.
Commander Godfrey. “Rule-breaking scum, isn’t that right?”
“Absolutely,” Watcher Jones said just before he cracked the whip.
The searing pain was mind-numbingly familiar. I tried to fight it, but I couldn’t. I bit down on my cheek, but the tears rolled down my face.
Everything was just too much. Losing Jaci to the murderous Watchers and essentially losing Steph to them too. I had no idea where Hawk was or Watcher Brody for that matter. And not knowing if the man I called Mason was, in fact, my brother.
There was only so much a person could take before they’d break. As much as I hated to admit it, I’d hit my limit.
We’d been told Watcher Jones helped people, yet here he was torturing me, and he wasn’t taking it easy on me. There was no way he was a good guy. It was probably some kind of trap that Hawk and I had fallen into.
Watcher Jones had struck me four times before Commander Godfrey stopped him. I could feel the blood trickling down my back.
“Why don’t you give it another try, Watcher Davis,” Commander Godfrey said.
I closed my eyes. It felt like I left my body and crawled into the corner of the room. My hands covered my ears as I squeezed my eyes tighter, forcing my mind to take me elsewhere.
I was back in the city living with my family, only I wasn’t young. My brother and sister were there, both at the age they were when I’d been banished.
They couldn’t see me. I watched them laugh and play as my mom looked over them with a smile on her face. A smile that faded when my stepdad walked into the room.
He whispered something and jerked his thumb at the stairs. I followed them. They couldn’t see me standing in the doorway, watching as he yelled at her.
“How could you?” he’d asked before he raised his hand and slapped her across the face. The shouting and hitting didn’t stop there. My stepdad’s anger grew.
I charged toward him. “Stop it!”
But he didn’t stop. And I wasn’t really there. My eyes widened as he stepped to the side, and I crashed through the glass window.
It felt like I wouldn’t stop falling. When I opened my eyes, I was on the floor of the torture room, groaning as their boots slammed into me over and over and over again.
I covered my head and silently begged The Mother, if she were real, to take me away. To stop the pain.
She didn’t take me away.
It was several minutes before the kicking stopped. Commander Godfrey’s blurry boots were inches from my face.
He grumbled and sighed. “Get her out of my sight.”
11
My ears buzzed. The ache in my head pulsed with the thudding of my heartbeat.
Someone reached under my arms and hoisted me to my feet. I held onto them because I didn’t have a choice. If I let go, I’d collapse, and I didn’t want to stay in the torture room. I was done.
My strength grew with each assisted step I took toward my cabin. I wished it was further from the torture room, but it wasn’t… nothing was far enough away.
The world around me was blurry and glitchy. It was impossible to focus on anything long enough to determine where I was. It was like I’d been given too much nightshine. Then again, I can’t imagine anyone wanting to drink nightshine if this was the feeling it gave people. What I was experiencing was far from pleasant.
“Are you okay?” the voice next to me asked softly.
“Fuck you!” I said, attempting to push them away from me. There was no strength behind my action… they didn’t budge in the slightest.
“Hey, cool it, okay? You can’t talk like that.”
A chuckle erupted from deep within. “Are you kidding me? Bring me back to the room and finish me off if that’s what you’re going to do. I’m done with all this.”
“I’m not taking you back,” Watcher Jones said, stepping in front of me.
He looked at me as if the sight of him should help me relax. Even if it would have at one point, it didn’t anymore.
“You’re psychotic,” I said.
“Can you keep your voice down?”
“Why should I?” I asked. I tried to raise my arms to cross them, but the pain was too intense.
I placed one hand on my hip and glared at him through the darkness of night. The lights from the paths in the distance flickered in his eyes.
Watcher Jones didn’t have the same anger in his eyes that I had. There was a calmness I couldn’t understand.
“I have no plans to hurt you,” Watcher Jones said.
“What do you call what you just did?”
“I have to do certain things to blend in,” Watcher Jones said.
I quickly wiped away the tear of frustration that burned as it rolled down my cheek. “How can you do that?”
“Do what? What I have to?”
I shook my head. “Whip me at full strength one second and talk to me as if I matter the next.”
“You think that was full strength? That was the minimum I feel comfortable doing so that I don’t get caught,” Watcher Jones whispered.
“Is that supposed to impress me?” I asked, raising a brow. Even the little movement sent pain through my forehead. “It doesn’t.”
Watcher Jones growled and pushed me back. I stumbled, but he caught me and pressed me up against the back wall of one of the storage buildings.
Fear filled me. I didn’t know what he was going to do, but I had to fight for my life if I wanted to ever find out what happened to my brother and sister. I was remembering my reasons to stay alive. My strength was rebuilding.
“Would you shut your damn mouth?” Watcher Jones hissed.
I sucked in a breath and pressed my lips together as I waited for his fist to hit my face. The muscles in my face were tense, but the blow didn’t come.
“What are you doing?” he asked, scrunching up his nose.
“I thought you were going to hit me.” My eyelids fluttered as I tried to focus on his blurry face.
“I said I wasn’t going to. Although, I might have to if you can’t keep your voice down,” Watcher Jones said, looking around. “I’m not willing to take any risks, not for you, not for anyone.”
I drew in a slow breath. Several bones in my spine cracked, and a muscle in my stomach tightened to the point I felt sick.
“I can’t have you ruining the entire operation,” Watcher Jones said. “There would be so many people affect
ed by your carelessness.”
“Okay,” I said, but I wasn’t about to apologize to him, not after what he’d just done to me.
“You don’t get it, do you?” Watcher Jones asked, narrowing his eyes.
I shrugged. “I only know what I’ve been told, which I feel hasn’t been much.”
“There is a revolution underway,” Watcher Jones said. “One day, this madness will end. That’s what you want, isn’t it?”
“Of course,” I said. “But call me pessimistic. After all, I’ve been through, I don’t think there will ever be change.”
“We need you. We need people like you,” Watcher Jones said. “Unless, of course, you can’t keep your mouth shut.”
I cocked my head. “People like me?”
“People who are fed up. People who are beyond fed up.” Watcher Jones turned and looked out toward the city. “One day, there will be change. We need change. The way people here are treated isn’t right. I just hope I live long enough to see it happen.”
“We’re criminals,” I said. “Everyone is here for a reason.”
“Doesn’t mean people should get treated the way they do,” he said. “Things are more complex than just good people and bad people.”
I sucked in a quick breath. “As you know, I’m bad people.”
“I know your story,” Watcher Jones said. “I’ve seen your file.”
“Then you know I deserve to be here,” I said.
His lips curled up at one end. “No, it’s why you need to be with us.”
“I don’t understand any of this.” I frowned.
“If I had more time, I’d tell you, but for now, I don’t have that kind of time,” Watcher Jones said, looking over his shoulder. He pressed his index finger to his lips and leaned forward, hiding us both in the shadows as someone passed by. “This has been going on for years. You need to decide if you’re on our side.”
I swallowed hard. “How can I decide that without any information?”
“I know you want to leave. We can make that happen,” Watcher Jones said. “When we know we can trust you, that is.”
My thoughts were scattered. I couldn’t think straight after the beating I’d just taken.
“I know how hard this is. What you’re going through isn’t anything I haven’t seen before,” Watcher Jones said.
“How many people have you helped escape?” I asked.
“Dozens,” he replied. “Look, I get how much you hate the farms. I can see it in your eyes. I’ve seen that look many times. The only chance you will ever have to leave this place is with our help.”
I grabbed the front of his uniform and peered into his eyes. “Why are you doing this? You could get killed for even talking to me.”
“I’m doing it for my sister,” he said, looking down at his feet. “She didn’t deserve to be here, and she definitely didn’t deserve the treatment she received. My sister died in this place.”
Tears welled in his eyes but disappeared when he sniffed hard and wiped his nose. He let out a long sigh.
“They took things too far,” Watcher Jones said.
“Why should I trust you? You could be lying.”
He snorted. “Look at me. I’m not lying.”
I could tell he wasn’t. At least the part about his sister was true.
“I might be a Watcher in title, but I am not one at heart,” Watcher Jones said. He cleared his throat and stepped back. “Some are here because they stole. Some are drug addicts, drunks, had consensual sex, murderers, and others… all they did was tell a lie. And all get the same treatment. Anything that upsets the Mother is all treated the same. Who decides what upsets her? Anyway, I need to get you back to your cabin.”
“Wait,” I said, tightening my grip on the fabric of his shirt.
He shook his head as his eyes wrinkled with confusion. “What?”
“Have you seen Hawk?” I asked.
“Not long ago, why?”
“I haven’t seen him in days. I think he’s missing,” I said as a sinking feeling filled my stomach. “I thought maybe you helped him out.”
Watcher Jones smiled and peeled my hands away. He patted the backside before letting them drop. “I’m sure he’s fine. They work them hard on the wind farms.”
“But I’ve seen his friends, and they haven’t seen him either,” I said.
“Hmm. I’ll look into it. Remember, keep your mouth shut. If you don’t, you’ll be stuck here forever, and I’ll be hanged,” Watcher Jones said.
“What if I need to talk to you?”
Watcher Jones’ expression iced over. “No. You can’t. If I need to speak with you, I’ll contact you, okay?”
“I guess.”
“I’m serious. Keep your head down and your mouth shut. Forget about all this until I contact you,” Watcher Jones said.
There were sounds of feet shuffling on the dry ground not far from where we were. Watcher Jones jerked me back onto the path, holding my arm roughly.
“Evening Blessings,” the Watcher said as he passed.
“Evening Blessings,” Watcher Jones replied.
“Looks like you got to have a little fun tonight, huh?” the other Watcher said.
Watcher Jones laughed. “You know it.”
He rolled his eyes after he was gone. For some reason, I smiled.
“Stop looking at me,” Watcher Jones said, glancing at me.
“Yes, Sir,” I replied without shifting my eyes away.
He turned back toward the path. His shoulders were pulled back, making it appear as though he’d grown an inch.
“I hadn’t been ready to have this conversation. Promise me you’ll keep your mouth shut,” Watcher Jones said.
“You’re hurting my bruised arm,” I said.
He released his grip somewhat. “Better?”
“Yes, thank you.”
“Promise me,” Watcher Jones demanded.
“And you’ll see if you can find Hawk and let me know?”
Watcher Jones chuckled. “Look at you. You think you’re in charge.” He sighed heavily. “I’ll be in touch. Now say the words.”
There wasn’t anyone I would talk about what I’d heard anyway except, of course, Hawk, and he already knew it all. Probably even more than I did.
“You really need to hear it?”
“Yes.”
It was easy. The words slid out without any effort. “I promise.”
12
My thoughts were everywhere. I couldn’t focus. I was lucky that my job on the farms was utterly mindless. I could easily continue to work while my head was somewhere else. The only thing I had to be careful of was not to spill even a drop of water.
The sun was high in the sky as we worked. It hadn’t been long since we’d gotten back to work from our lunch break. The air was so hot, it was difficult to take in a full breath.
Sweat dripped off my body, and while I hadn’t seen it happen, it probably fell into my bucket of water. I didn’t care, though. Let the people from the Capital City taste my sweat. They probably had tasted my tears more than once, but they wouldn’t ever taste my blood.
Of course, if a Watcher saw my sweat dripping into my bucket, I might change my mind. My body was in rough shape from my beating that there was no way I could take another. The bruises were on my legs, arms, and my face, and the plentiful wounds on my back had already scabbed over, painfully tightening my skin.
It hurt to walk, but it wasn’t the first time I’d had to work after a beating. I was surprised Commander Godfrey hadn’t already come by to pay me a visit to admire his work.
My eyes cautiously darted around to see who was on Watcher duty. After what happened last night, I didn’t trust the new Watchers not to pick a fight with me. Then again, there wasn’t any Watcher I did trust.
Maybe Watcher Jones wouldn’t start anything, but if something happened, he’d definitely join in, and that was bad enough. I still wasn’t entirely sure how to feel about Watcher Jones.
&n
bsp; Then, not more than twenty feet from where I was standing, I spotted the one Watcher I felt I could trust. Watcher Brody was back.
My fingers fumbled with the thick wire handle, and I almost dropped my bucket to the ground. I controlled my breathing and managed to regain my grip.
I couldn’t believe he was back. He looked good. Healthy. Dammit. I couldn’t stop the smile curling my lips… I missed him.
I was happy to see he was alive, but I wished he was safe in the Capital, far away from this nasty place. Watcher Brody didn’t deserve to be stuck here. He was too good for this place.
I was desperate to talk to him. Of course, that couldn’t happen.
He hadn’t even bothered to look in my direction. Watcher Brody knew I worked on the water farm. He knew where I’d be, and still, he didn’t look for me.
My shoulders dropped. I continued to work with my head down, trying not to let it get to me. He wouldn’t look at me. Watcher Brody was doing it to protect me… or maybe himself, at least that’s what I told myself.
It wasn’t until we were walking back to our cabin that I decided I would go out at night. I knew where Watcher Brody lived, and I didn’t just want to talk to him, I needed to talk to him. I wanted to make sure he was okay and to thank him for what he did for Steph… for me.
Watcher Brody had been there for me when I’d needed him. He’d risked everything to save my friend. I couldn’t comprehend it. I didn’t have a way to pay him back, but I owed him.
“Wonderful work today,” Keeper Marie said. “You all did an excellent job.”
“Thank you, mum,” Ivy said. “Many Blessings and Kindness to you.”
Keeper Marie grinned at Ivy. Steph ignored everything, keeping her head down.
“Blessings,” I said.
Keeper Marie glanced my way, looking down her nose at me. She’d seen the bruises. She knew I’d been beaten. Keeper Marie was not happy that one of her farmers had gotten in trouble again and so… publically.
“Well,” Keeper Marie said, rubbing her palms together. “See you in the morning. For the Mother.”
“For the Mother,” I replied, feeling amused I’d been faster at responding than Ivy.
After The Fires | Book 2 | The Trials Ahead Page 6