I imagined myself lunging at them, clawing, kicking, and hitting them like a wild animal from outside our fences. Perhaps I should have felt sorry for them because they’d given their lives away, but I couldn’t. That had been their choice. It wasn’t something they were forced into.
Keeper Marie shifted her weight from one leg to the other, keeping a fake smile plastered to her face. It wavered slightly when Commander Godfrey pointed at me.
“Keep your eyes on that one,” he said with a smirk. “That farmer is a troublemaker, as some of you already know.” He turned to Keeper Marie, pressing his palms together. “What is this one’s name again?”
“Farmer Church,” she answered before swallowing down her smile.
Commander Godfrey knew my name. It was all part of his game.
“Right,” he said. “Farmer Church needs our help most of all.”
I wasn’t sure if he was saying that because of my history in the Capital or if it was because of my big mouth on the farms.
Watcher Davis looked at me. Disgust squinted his eye and wrinkled his nose. It looked as if he had got a whiff of the dump carried on the hot breeze.
I wished I could have given him the same look. But at least I didn’t have to look at him at all.
The Watcher on the far right was giving me a strange look. It was something between wanting to cook my organs on an open flame and devour them and wanting to see me with my smock off. I cringed and shifted my eyes away from him.
“All right, next group,” Commander Godfrey said, sitting down on a chair. He leaned back, keeping his legs spread wide. “Thank you, Keeper Marie.”
“Of course, Commander,” she said, bowing her head with a quick curtsy. “Have a good day.”
He ignored her and turned his attention to the group behind us. The Keeper stepped up and started introducing her group. Commander Godfrey didn’t have the same interest in them that he’d apparently had in Keeper Marie’s group… or maybe just me.
I pulled in a deep breath when they were far behind us. We approached the food tents, but they were closed. A few servants were working, but most of them must have still been waiting to meet the new Watchers.
“I guess we’ll check back later,” Keeper Marie said, looking up toward the sky. “They’ll probably prepare a large dinner.”
I bit down on my bottom lip to stop myself from laughing. We’d get the same thing we always did. Slop. Slop. Slop. Meanwhile, the Watchers would get grand feasts and bowls of figs for their homes.
Even the Watcher who looked as though he wanted to eat me would get treated like royalty. Unless he got caught with that nightshine. Either way, I planned to stay as far away from him as possible.
Several uneventful days passed. I’d been on my best behavior, mostly to avoid the new Watchers. They were looking for approval from the Commander which meant they wanted to catch someone doing something wrong.
All the farmers were lucky the new Watchers hadn’t stooped to the level of making trouble. Like the time Watcher Bly had tripped Steph.
Hawk still hadn’t been spotted, and I was really starting to worry about him. If I crossed paths with Watcher Jones, I’d have to find a way to ask if he’d found him.
After work, the four of us sat quietly in the cabin. When Steph opened her mouth, all of our eyes widened at the same time.
“Why are they watching you?” she asked, her eyes firmly locked with mine.
“I’ve noticed that too,” Ivy said as Farmer Watson nodding along curiously.
“They always watch me,” I said with a shrug.
Steph shook her head. “This is different.”
“In what way?” I asked.
“They’re all watching you… constantly,” Steph said. “You really haven’t noticed?”
I’d been busy with my thoughts—leaving the farms, where was Hawk, and wishing Watcher Brody would find a way to get me to his house. The distractions made the days go by faster.
“I’m worried for you,” Steph said.
“It’s super weird,” Ivy added.
“Do you have any idea why they are so focused on you?” Steph asked.
I shook my head. “They don’t need a reason.”
“Well, just be careful, okay?” Steph said.
“I’ll try,” I said. “They’re just waiting for me to screw up. I’m sure that’s all it is.”
“Yeah, well, speaking from experience, you don’t want to end up near death,” Steph said, looking down at her hands. “Unless, of course, you want to go to the city like I do.”
I bit down on my cheek. “I’m sorry that happened to you. Watcher Bly was a psycho.”
“They’re all psychos,” Steph said. “It wasn’t all bad. I got to go into the city which was absolutely amazing. One way or another, I will go back.”
“Steph,” I said with a heavy sigh, “you won’t be going back.”
Steph’s icy expression chilled my bones. She glared at me for a long moment before slowly laying down and turning her back to us.
“Way to go,” Ivy said as she leaned back against the wall, pulling her knees to her chest.
I shrugged, afraid to say anything. I didn’t want to make things worse.
“Weren’t you supposed to pick up our cleaned smocks after dinner?” Ivy asked.
“Shoot. Yeah,” I said, sliding into my boots. “I’ll do that now.”
Getting out of the cabin would be a relief, even though it wouldn’t take more than five minutes to get the smocks.
I looked out of the window before I left the cabin. Thanks to Steph’s and Ivy’s concerns, I was now paranoid about running into any of the Watchers. Of course, there would be Watchers around, but the more I could avoid, the better.
Commander Godfrey had never been fond of me. He’d always enjoyed watching me get a beating, but I had assumed he’d always liked watching all beatings. With everything that had happened recently, I wasn’t so sure anymore.
He seemed to have a new interest in me specifically. Perhaps he knew something and was just waiting for the right moment. Why kill me when he could torture me whenever he wanted.
Maybe he thought I knew something. Or perhaps I was just reading into things.
I walked quickly, continually looking over my shoulder. There wasn’t anyone at the supply building, but the door was open. I peeked inside, half expecting Commander Godfrey to be waiting inside, ready to pounce.
I grabbed the smocks from the shelf for our cabin and hugged them to my chest. As I dashed back between the buildings, I spotted a couple pressed up against a building. They were at least four cabins back, but I recognized him instantly.
Commander Godfrey leaned toward the Keeper and touched her cheek. They were standing awfully close. What would the Mother think?
His head slowly started to turn. I ran before he could see me.
I reached out for the doorknob at our cabin, nearly dropping the stack of smocks. My eyes darted to the space he’d step out of if he’d seen me watching.
He wasn’t there. I didn’t have much time. Why couldn’t I get the door open?
17
Ivy opened the door and narrowed her eyes. “Forget how doors work?”
I sucked in a breath as if I was diving underwater and charged into the room, nearly knocking Ivy down on her bottom. She closed the door and scowled at me.
“What is wrong with you?” she asked.
I sat down on the floor, still hugging the smocks. My breaths were so fast they nearly knocked me back.
Ivy took the smocks. “You look like you’ve seen a ghost.”
“It was worse,” I muttered.
“Hmm?” she asked as she refolded each smock and placed it on Farmer Watson’s shelf.
“Nothing,” I said.
Ivy stepped in front of me with her hands on her hips. “Plan on getting off the floor?”
I stared at the door, waiting for it to burst open. Commander Godfrey would be on the other side, staring at me menacingl
y before dragging me to the torture room.
“Okay,” I said with heavy breaths.
“Did someone chase you?”
I shook my head. “So, you’re just being weird then?”
“Yeah,” I replied.
There was no way I’d tell Ivy what I saw. She wouldn’t have believed me anyway.
“Okay, well, stop. It’s kind of freaking me out,” Ivy said, plopping down on her bed. She covered a yawn and slowly lowered herself down on the thin mattress.
It was another restless night. It was happening more frequently. I was the type of person that needed sleep to function… to think clearly.
With Hawk missing, the possibility of leaving the farms, Watcher Brody looking into what happened to my siblings, and now having spotted Commander Godfrey flirting with a Keeper, there was just too much on my mind.
First, eww. What woman in her right mind would have any interest in Commander Godfrey? Oh, right. People on the farms have lost their minds regardless of their role.
Secondly, how did he justify breaking the rules to himself? Of course, it was no secret people had sex on the farms. Babies were born all the time. They get whipped, and life moved on. Since every baby was a Blessing, what choice did anyone have in the matter?
But Watchers and Commanders, along with everyone else on the farms and in the Capital, were expected to remain celibate until marriage. A marriage approved by the Mother, of course.
When the lighting inside the cabin turned to the dull orange glow of morning, I gave up trying to sleep. I got up and quickly changed into a clean smock for the day. I should have changed before bed, but my brain already wasn’t working at its peak.
“Morning,” I said when Steph got to her feet.
“Morning Blessings,” she replied softly, keeping her head down.
“Why are you acting like this with me?” I asked.
Steph clasped her hands together. “I guess I’m just done with all of this.”
“But it’s me,” I said.
“We weren’t really friends,” Steph said. It felt like she’d punched me in the gut. “We got along because we lived together.”
“That’s not true,” I said.
Steph shrugged and pinched her lips together as the doorknob jiggled. Keeper Marie’s boots clapped in perfect rhythm as she stepped to the center of the room.
“Morning Blessings, ladies,” she said unemotionally. “Another surprising event will be happening today. This is something important. The Admiral will be paying a rare visit to the farms.”
Ivy’s eyes widened. I wasn’t sure if it was fear or excitement.
“We all need to work very hard and show him that we are perfect in all we do for the Mother,” Keeper Marie said. “Keep your head down, do not look at the Admiral, and do not speak to the Admiral. Pretend it’s a normal day.” She hesitated. “But better.”
“Yes, Mum.” My response blended in with the others.
“He’ll be touring the farm with all of the Commanders. They’ll be watching and inspecting everything, looking for ways to improve our processes,” Keeper Marie said. She looked at each one for a long moment as she continued. “This is extremely important. We cannot have any problems today. The inspection was ordered by the Supreme Lord, and I can assure you that if anything happens, that would disappoint the Mother, you will be severely punished. Am I understood?”
“Yes, Mum,” we replied in unison.
Keeper Marie took two steps toward Farmer Watson. She was inches from her face.
“Do you understand what I’m saying?” Keeper Marie asked, enunciating the words.
Farmer Watson’s head bobbed, and Keeper Marie placed her hands on her shoulders. Her fingertips dug into Farmer Watson’s shoulders. “Good. See that you do. They won’t take it easy on you because of your… condition.”
Farmer Watson nodded again before lowering her head to hide her grimace. Keeper Marie let go and proceeded toward the door.
“Make this a day completely dedicated to our Mother. I want to be proud of you ladies,” Keeper Marie said, pulling open the door. “Farmer Sterling first, Farmer Watson next, then Farmer Church, and Farmer Ripley, you’ll be last in line for the entire day.”
Keeper Marie shook out her hands and gestured toward the door. I followed Farmer Watson outside into the extreme heat.
“I’m even a bit nervous,” Keeper Marie said to Steph as she walked beside her.
Keeper Marie wasn’t my favorite person on the farms, but oddly, I wanted to make her proud. If anything did go wrong, she’d probably be taken to the torture rooms too, and I wasn’t sure if she could handle it.
As we walked to the food tents, I saw the Admiral not more than ten feet away. He was standing next to Commander Godfrey with the other Commanders scattered around them. Commander Godfrey was talking about something as he pointed around the farm.
I kept my head down, but my eyes flicked toward the Admiral. He was a big man. Not just tall, but he had broad shoulders. His hair was gray, and I could tell by how his shirt clung to his biceps that he was a fit man.
Power radiated from him. I could feel it. Could Commander Godfrey feel it too?
I looked back down at the ground, feeling intimidated. What would Commander Godfrey say as I passed? Would he tell him I was a troublemaker too?
The Admiral watched us eat. He studied the food lines and observed the servants as they prepared our meal. His head frequently bobbing with approval. Every so often, he’d say something close to Commander Godfrey’s ear.
I didn’t see the Admiral again until the workday was nearly over. The Commanders showed him around the water farm, which didn’t take long. Commander Godfrey explained the process while the Admiral feigned interest.
I was carrying water in buckets to the tank. The water would be filtered and sent to the Capital. Perhaps the Admiral had never questioned how the clean water got to his home.
I Stayed on my path with my head down. At one point, I was so close to the Admiral I could smell him—woodsy, musky, with a hint of spice—exactly how I’d imagined an older man from the Capital would smell.
“Well, I think this is all wonderful, and it looks like your Watchers do an excellent job keeping everyone in line,” the Admiral said.
“Indeed, Admiral York,” Commander Godfrey said proudly. “It’s a hard job, but someone’s got to do it.”
“Hmm, yes,” Admiral York replied. “I think we can go ahead with the new program. Your Watchers will keep the Scholars safe.”
Commander Godfrey nodded. “No harm will come to anyone from the Temple.”
I lost the conversation as I drew nearer to the lake. Why were people from the temple coming to the farms? I quickly scooped up a bucket full of water, splashing a small drop on the wall between me and the lake.
My eyes shifted. No one had noticed.
I walked quickly toward the tank, hoping to catch more of their conversation. The scratching of my boots against the ground caused the Commanders to glance my way. Admiral York ignored me and my noisy footsteps.
Admiral York stuck out his hand, and Commander Godfrey shook it with his head down. The smile on Admiral York’s face nearly stretched from ear to ear.
“This is going to be good for your farmers,” Admiral York said. “It’s going to be good for everyone.”
“I agree,” Commander Godfrey said. “Our farmers need something like this… so many of them have lost their way.”
I could feel his eyes on me. If I dared to look up, I’d probably see him gesturing toward me.
“We all need to listen more to the preachings of The Way of the Mother,” Admiral York said.
“You couldn’t be more right,” Commander Godfrey said.
“Good, you’ll tell your people then the Scholars will be here in two days, is that enough time to prepare,” Admiral York asked.
Commander Godfrey hesitated. I couldn’t look up, but I wanted to look at him.
“Should be more than
enough time,” Commander Godfrey said.
“They are to treat our Scholars with kindness and respect, just ask they would anyone above them,” Admiral York said. “This is going to be really good. This project will help the farmers be more in tune with the Mother and remind them why they do what they do.”
“They’ll be harder workers,” Commander Godfrey added.
The sound of one of them clapping their hands shook me. “Well, Commander Godfrey, it was really good to see you again,” Admiral York said. “My ride is likely waiting to take me back to our Blessed Capital.”
When I heard their steps and voices disappearing, I flicked a glance upward. The other Commanders separated their own ways, but Commander Godfrey continued to walk with the Admiral.
They appeared to be good buddies—laughing and patting each other on the back as they whispered to each other. The Admiral didn’t even seem to mind that Commander Godfrey was looking right at him. Perhaps, if they were good friends, they could get away with such an offense. The Great Mother wouldn’t care if they were friends… at least that’s what they’d tell themselves.
It didn’t really matter. The only thing that mattered was what I’d overheard. The Scholars would be coming to the farms, and that to me was great news. At least it had the potential to be great news. There was a chance I’d see the man I thought was my brother again.
It seemed too good to be true. I didn’t know what, when, or how, but somehow, I had to find a way to attend whatever the life-changing prayer event was. I had to see if I could see him again.
18
Anyone who’d wanted to attend was allowed to. Farmers and Servants were encouraged to participate, but no one was forced. I’d signed up the second Keeper Marie presented us with the form the day after the Admiral’s visit.
She grinned the whole time I wrote my name. Farmer Church. He’d see the name. He’d know I’d be coming.
After The Fires | Book 2 | The Trials Ahead Page 9