by Leah Holt
Rolling his eyes, he stepped forward and snagged my arm, yanking me to my feet. “You don't get to ask questions, you just follow orders, and do as you're told. That's how this shit goes, so come on.”
Taking a giant step, the man dragged me behind him as he made his way through the empty building to a small garage. Pulling keys from his pocket, he clicked the button and the headlights of a car flashed on.
No, no, no. Where is he taking me?
Guiding me to the passenger seat, he opened the door. “Get in.”
I'm not going anywhere with you!
Holding the edge of the roof, I resisted his attempt to push me into the seat. “I. . . I don't want to. My car is right outside, just let me go and you'll never see me again.”
Leaning in close, he brought his nose to mine so he could stare directly into my eyes. “This is your last warning. Do as I say, or my next move won't be so kind.” Pulling the gun from his waist, he shook it back and forth. “I'm not playing this game with you. I already told you what you need to do, so do it.”
“Okay, alright, I'm getting in.” Holding up my palms, I dropped into the seat, and tucked my hands under my thighs.
I wasn't going to fight him. Not yet, not without better protection for myself or a place to run to. For now I was going to listen to him. I would do as I was told, but not because he wanted me to.
I was doing it so I could keep going, and not end up in a communal grave with that other man.
I was doing it to stay alive.
Chapter Three
Emery
“You know you never answered me before, I asked you what your name is. So, what is it?” I asked, watching the trees pass by us like a giant blur. We were on the highway, and I had no fucking clue where he was planning on taking me.
But I wasn't going to let my fear take control and ruin what might be the last chance I had to talk him out of whatever the fuck he was doing.
We had been driving for about forty minutes, moving away from the city, and into the desolate growth of wilderness. The trees had thickened, the sky growing brighter as the sharp lights of skyscrapers and businesses faded into the distance.
Looking up, I could see stars and smoky gray clouds as they rolled and tumbled across the skyline. I couldn't see that in the city, there were no stars to watch, none twinkling above as if they were playing a symphony for the eyes.
It was amazing really, and I wasn't sure if I suddenly found the sky so intriguing because of how I ended up beneath the glittering notes, or if it was just something I had taken for granted.
When I really thought about it, I don't think I ever really took the time to look up before, to examine and speculate what star I was looking at, or what constellations I could find.
Drinking in every last drop it had to offer, I stared in awe at the sky, because I had no idea if I would get the chance to see it ever again.
The cars around us had thinned as he sped down the road, further and further away from the life I knew. Away from my friends, away from my home, away from the normalcy I had grown to accept as my world.
Everything was about to change—everything.
My life would never be the same. I knew that on some level, even though I didn't want to accept it at that moment. I couldn't and wouldn't think about it; because I was still breathing, because I wasn't on my knees with a gun to my head. I still felt like I had time to change the future.
Nothing is over until it's truly over.
If I let my mind wander, taking full hold of what was happening, I was afraid I'd give up. I didn't want to give up. There was a small flame in my gut, a single flicker of strength that was keeping my head from imploding on itself.
And I was going to nurture that light, holding onto it for as long as I possibly could. Every last ounce of strength I had would be used, until weakness starved my muscles, refusing to let me take one more step forward.
“You don't have to give me a real name, just give me something I can call you.”
No answer.
He wouldn't talk to me, refusing to acknowledge that I was even sitting beside him. I couldn't understand that, why he took me the way he had, and was choosing to leave me with so many questions.
We were about to have sex only an hour ago, now I was sitting beside a killer, a man with no soul, a man who had changed before my eyes from a thrill into a nightmare.
If he was going to kill me, I wished he would just say it. If he planned on keeping me chained up someplace, then he should be man enough to tell me. At least then I wouldn't have to wonder, I wouldn't have the heavy weight of not knowing my future making my heart ache.
“Nothing? You won't answer me?”
“Shut up. I'm not going to answer your fucking questions.”
“What? Why not? It doesn't hurt anything, it doesn't change anything.”
“You haven't earned my answers.”
What the hell is that suppose to mean?
I didn't deserve this, I hadn't done anything wrong. The only thing I was guilty of was being in the wrong place at the wrong time. Why didn't he see that? Why was he making it seem like I did something to bring this all on myself?
“If I remember right, you started this shit, I didn't ask for it.”
“It doesn't matter, you're here now, so deal with it.”
“Fine, be a dick about it. But I won't stop talking, I won't stop asking questions.” Folding my arms over my chest, I lifted my chin high.
Keeping his eyes on the road, I could tell he wasn't happy about the situation either. He didn't want me there, no more than I wanted to be there.
Then why fucking take me?
His hands gripped the steering wheel tight, both arms deadlocked straight, as his mouth twitched and curved in every direction but up. I could barely see the white of his eyes as his lids turned into thin slits and his brows furrowed in angered thoughts. He looked fucking pissed.
“You don't belong here, but I didn't have a choice.” Growling, he spoke through clenched teeth. “I didn't have a fucking choice.”
The man appeared to be talking more to himself than to me, as if saying his thought out loud helped to convince him that taking me was his only option. It wasn't, he had other choices, but he settled on the first one he thought of.
Flaring his nostrils, his hands twisted back and forth as his lips moved with soundless words.
“I'm not a part of this, we both know that.” Shifting in my seat, I tried to force him to look at me, but he still wouldn't.
Crooking his jaw, his lip twitched at the corner. “Well, you are now. You just added a whole different level to this shit.”
“Why?” I asked, fumbling with the hem of my skirt. It was a stupid question, and even as I asked it, I already knew the answer.
Of course shit changed for him, I had been a fork thrown in the mix. A new set of eyes meant a new obstacle he had to overcome.
Because of me he couldn't vanish into the night. Because of me he wasn't able to escape undetected. I had turned witness to a savage incident that he owned, and it was easier to scapegoat me instead of blaming himself for his own actions.
Coward. The thought forced my face to crinkle as I glared at him.
“Damn it!” Slamming the wheel with his fist, his foot pressed harder on the gas, forcing the car to speed forward. “You don't fucking belong here!”
“Then why not just let me go? Leave me right here, you'll never see me again. I promise.”
“I can't do that.” His gaze flicked to the rear-view mirror, eyes meticulously watching the darkness behind us. “I don't know who else saw you.”
What the hell are you talking about?
“I was telling you the truth before, about how I know you had to kill that man. So, ask me anything, and I'll be honest with you, I swear.” Holding up my hand, it looked like I was about to take an oath before the court. “You didn't do anything wrong. Go on ask me anything you want.”
I meant what I said. If the cop
s came to me, I'd tell them he had no choice. I wouldn't lie about it, there wasn't a reason for me to lie, the other guy was aiming a gun at his head.
I just couldn't understand why he wouldn't want to call the police, why he would choose to run away, forcing me to go with him, instead of staying there and doing the right thing.
Who is this guy?
A part of me was wondering who the real bad guy was? Was it the dead man in the club or the man beside me?
“I don't need to ask you a fucking thing, and I don't want to know a damn thing about you. I want this night to be over, that's it.”
“Sounds like we want the same thing.”
“You don't have a fucking clue.” Flicking his eyes in my direction, his lips drew taut, his silence returning easily.
What do you want from me?!
Kicking my heels off, I curled my legs up into my chest, laying my head back and angling my face to look at him. I wanted to keep him talking, I wanted him to let down his guard, and just give me something, I didn't care what it was.
My hope was that he'd see me as a person, that if we could connect on some common ground, if I could remind him of where we were before that man showed up, maybe he'd pull over and just drop my ass off, telling me to get the fuck out before he changed his mind.
“How about family? Do you have any family?”
“It's none of your business.” Squeezing the steering wheel harder, his knuckles turned bright white.
“My name's—”
Cutting me off, his brows hardened. “I don't give a fuck what your name is, it doesn't matter.” Shaking his head, he looked back at the road. “Look, I know what you're doing, and it's not going to work.”
Thinning my lips, I let my eyes float to the window. “I don't know what you're talking about, I'm just trying to make conversation.”
“Don't play games with me, we both know that's bullshit. You want to try and get to me, you want to try and reach my human side.” His voice went high, and condescending. “Do you think I haven't seen this before? Do you really think that you're the first person to try this shit?” Glancing between the mirrors, he changed lanes. “I've got news for you, there isn't a single part of me that that gives two shits about being humane, it doesn't exist. I don't care about what you want, or if you think going to the cops is the right thing to do.” I felt him look over at me, the heat off his glare melting me to the seat. “What ever happens after tonight isn't up to me, I can only do so much. But the cops, they can't fucking help you, and they definitely won't help me.”
“Fuck you it's not up to you. You have a choice, you always have a choice.” Twisting my face to his, I tilted my head. “Right now it is up to you. You could pull over and let me out, no one would know.”
“I would know.”
“But that's it, just you. You didn't tell that person you called that someone else was with you.”
Flaring his nostrils, he gritted his teeth. “You don't know what they know, you couldn't hear what they were saying.”
“You're right, I don't.” Holding up my hands, I nodded in agreement. “That doesn't mean you have to tell them the truth. You could pretend we never met, you could tell them that I got away, fuck you could even tell them you killed me. No one would know if you were lying or not.”
Letting out a cynical laugh, the man arched his brows. “You don't have a damn clue. Do you really think it's that easy? Do you honestly think that I can just play pretend?” Slamming the steering wheel with a heavy fist, he yelled, “Fuck! Why did this have to happen?! I didn't need this shit! I have enough to worry about, and now I have you.”
Cowering in my seat, I was afraid he might strike me. There was so much anger in that man, a deep, dark anger that I had never seen before in anyone else.
My eyes grew big, muscles trembling. I knew he had the power to kill someone, so what would stop him from hurting me?
Nothing. Nothing would stop him.
Curling up into a ball, I wrapped my arms around my legs, wishing I could dissolve, wishing I had the ability to transform into air and float away.
The man glanced down at me, his face falling flat and emotionless. “Relax, I'm not going to hit you or anything.” Sighing, he looked away, pulling his hands down the wheel. “I might be a monster, but I'm not a complete fucking asshole. I just don't want you expecting a happy ending, I can't promise you that.”
Unfurling, I slid my feet off the seat and placed them on the floor. Fiddling with my fingers in my lap, I looked down. “I don't know what you want me to say. You won't tell me anything. Why don't you tell me what's going on so I know then? Why did that man want to kill you?”
“Trust me, you're better off not knowing. Once we get back, then I can figure out exactly what to do with you.”
“I don't want to die,” I said right back, no pause or thought put into my response.
There wasn't a single portion of my soul that was ready to give up. I wasn't ready to lose my life over something that had nothing to do with me at all. I wasn't connected to the man beside me or the man he killed.
All I wanted was to be freed, to be released back into the world I knew. Why was that so much to ask for? He chose to take me, I didn't ask to be here.
“Yeah, well, unfortunately that's not up to you.”
My lip twitched at the corner as my skin flushed with frustration and anger. “I'm going to have a say in this, I can tell you that. It's my fucking life—mine. No one can take it from me.”
I should have been terrified, I should have been cowering and pleading for my life. But I wasn't going to beg for something that was mine to begin with. And I would be damned if I was going to let this man think he could control me with fear.
“Sweetheart, you control nothing, not anymore. So, I suggest you make peace with that now.” The car began to slow down as he pulled off the exit. Reading the sign, I made sure to take a mental note of where we were.
Exit seven, Coventry. Repeating the city over and over in my head, I watched for more street signs so I knew how to guide help my way if I got the chance.
“Yeah, we'll see about that.”
His eyes jerked in my direction, lids squinting with curiosity. “You know for someone that has no fucking clue what they're up against, you have balls, I'll give you that. You should be fucking scared, this isn't a damn joke.”
“I won't give you any of it.”
“Give me what?”
“My fear.”
“Even that's not yours anymore. You might lose everything; your past, your name, your very existence.” His lip curved high, cutting into his cheek. “Whatever you thought your future would be, it's all gone if you don't listen to me.”
His smile coated my body like liquid hell, smothering my chest and making it hard to breathe. I thought a smile would be a good thing, but it wasn't.
There was pleasure on his lips with a hint of satisfaction. Satisfaction of his power over me. A sick twisted happiness as if he's winning some game.
Why the hell are you doing this to me?
Tears smeared my vision as I took short quick breaths, trying to force any mercy out of this man “We can fix this, you know we can. All you have to do is let me go. Do you really want to be responsible for what happens to me?”
“You're not the first, not by a long shot.”
My body buzzed with rage as his callous nature gleamed like a spot light. Balling my fists, I straightened my legs and pulled myself off the seat.
Gritting my teeth, I snarled at the man like a rabid dog. “And you're proud of that? Are you telling me you don't care at all? That it doesn't matter to you if I live or die? How can you be so cold?”
“It's nothing personal.” Stroking his jaw, he dipped his head into his chest and thumbed his bottom lip. “Look, I haven't cared about a fucking thing for as long as I can remember. Do you honestly think that I'll suddenly have a change of heart? Because I won't, you don't mean shit to me, you're more of a fucking hassle than
anything else.”
“Fuck you!” I screamed, throwing my arm out to swipe at his face. Clawing his cheek with my nails, he yelled in pain, jerking his arm up to block my attack.
“Fuck!” he yelled, using his arm to hide his face. “I'm trying to help you!”
“Pull over.”
“No.”
“PULL OVER.”
“No,” he said, shaking his head. “If I pull over you're definitely dead.”
I was done sitting by and waiting to see what was going to happen. I was done allowing this man to drive me to my death. If he couldn't see that what he was doing was wrong, then it was time for me to take charge.
If I was going to die, then I was going to do it by my own hand, not his.
“I said pull over!” Lurching over the man's arm, I snagged the steering wheel and yanked it hard. The car swerved, wheels squealing loudly as it took a hard right, and jumped out of the lane.
The quick movement threw me back, crushing my spine against the handle of door. The seat belt locked against my chest, keeping me pinned in place as the man tried to gain control of the vehicle.
His hands moved and turned, countering the erratic motion of the car. But it was no use, he had lost control, unable to steady its direction.
Spinning wildly, the car screeched like an owl as the rubber tried to grip the pavement. My head was twirling, ears ringing as I clutched anything I could for protection. I felt the car tip up onto two wheels, and in that moment, time seemed to slow down.
We floated on our side, riding the white line until the car finally rolled over completely, tumbling out of control.
Closing my eyes, I threw my hands up and pressed my palms against the ceiling. The world around me began to warp as glass shattered and broke, piercing my skin like razor-sharp thorns.
The blood rushed to my head, making me woozy, and tired as the car continued to roll with no stop in sight. Pinching my eyes closed tighter, I did my best to keep my head level and steady.
But I couldn't stop the blackness from coming in.