by K. C. Lynn
“Thank you. Come in. Y’all want some tea or somethin’?”
“No, we’re fine,” Kayla declines. “Come sit down and talk to us.”
We take a seat on my living room couch. Both girls flank me, wrapping their arms around my shoulders.
“I guess y’all know how bad it went, since I never texted last night,” I start quietly. “I’m sorry about that. I just needed some time to myself.”
“It’s okay. We understand,” Julia says. “I tried to stop Sawyer from coming over but he was insistent on seeing you. He was really worried. We all were.”
Humiliation burns deep at the mention of Sawyer but I shove it aside for now and tell them the story about my father. “To sum it up quickly, he doesn’t want anything to do with me. He hid us in the back of the restaurant where no one could see us and offered me money to keep quiet, which I didn’t accept.”
“Bastard!” Kayla seethes.
“What hurt the most was finding out he knew about what happened to my mother. He knew and he still never came for me, and because of it I lived with a horribly cruel man.” Unable to hold them in any longer, my tears run fast, streaking down my cheeks.
Both girls hold me tighter, offering me comfort.
“I know you’re hurting right now, Grace, but believe me when I tell you that this is his loss, not yours,” Julia says, her voice thick with emotion.
“She’s right. He’s an asshole. You’re better off without him.”
I nod, knowing they’re right, but it doesn’t stop it from hurting. “I thought my night couldn’t get any worse, but then I had to go and humiliate myself even more.”
“Why, what happened?” Kayla asks.
“Sawyer found me on my front steps last night. Of course, bein’ the nice guy that he is, he tried comfortin’ me, and what did I do? I attacked his sexy butt, then got majorly rejected.” I shake my head, my cheeks heating at the memory. “I’m so embarrassed. I really misread things with him.”
“I don’t think you did at all,” Julia says. “Sawyer cares a lot about you.”
“Yeah, as a friend. I should have known better. I was stupid to think that someone like him would want me that way.”
“Hey, enough of that shit,” Kayla snaps. “Don’t you dare talk that way about yourself. Any man, Sawyer included, would be damn lucky to have you.”
I remain silent, knowing she’s just being nice.
“Julia’s right. You should have seen how worried he was when you didn’t text. He was like a caged animal. I thought he was going to attack any second.”
Because that’s Sawyer. Fierce and protective. I’ve come to learn he has a big heart, but I am no fool. What was the best kiss of my life, and made me feel more than anyone ever has, was not the same for him.
“Can we talk about something else please?” I whisper, my mangled heart too fragile at the moment to rehash anymore.
“Of course,” Julia says, “but please know if you ever need to talk, we’re here for you. Always.”
“Thank you. That means a lot. I promise I’ll be okay. Yes, it hurts right now, but I’ll get through it. I have gotten through much worse than this.”
Kayla shifts next to me, clearing her throat. “Can I just say something real quick? You never told us where you lived before here, and I respect your privacy, but by the sounds of it, maybe you should talk to Coop about it. It sounds like where you were before wasn’t a good place.”
“No!” I shoot down her suggestion immediately, dread fisting my chest. “I just want to forget that part of my life.”
“All right. You don’t have to,” she says gently, sensing my building hysteria. “Just know, like Julia said, we’re always here for you if you ever want to talk about it.”
Never.
I will never revisit that part of my life, not for any reason. That monster haunts me enough in my dreams.
Sawyer
Pain explodes through my thumb as the hammer misses the nail. “Fuck!” I throw the tool across the room, sending it through the drywall.
Everyone’s eyes are pinned on me, silence adopting the gym.
“Want to talk about it?” Jaxson asks, making shit even more awkward.
“No. I don’t want to talk about it. There’s nothing to say.”
Except that all week Grace has been ignoring me. Other than some vague replies to my text messages, I get nothing. I’ve even shown up at the diner and she’s had other people serve me, pretending to be too busy to talk to me. All I’ve gotten is the cold shoulder, and quite frankly, I’m fucking sick of it.
“By the hole that hammer made, I’d say you have a lot to say,” Jaxson comments.
I do but not here and not to them.
“I’m out of here. I’m dealing with this shit right now!”
Jaxson and Cade blink back at me, having no idea what the hell I’m talking about and I don’t bother explaining it. Hell, I can’t even make sense of this damn mess with Grace to myself let alone explain it to anyone else.
Grabbing my jacket, I storm out of the gym and hop into my truck. It’s not long until I pull up to the diner. The place is relatively quiet when I walk in, the dinner rush long over. I search for Grace but only see the new girl Mac hired.
I charge into the back and find Mac washing dishes. “Is Grace here?”
His head snaps up, eyes holding mine. It’s obvious he’s unsure whether or not to divulge the information to me.
“I’m not leaving until I see her,” I tell him.
He relents. “She’s out back, looking for that damn dog.”
I push out the side door and make my way down the long hallway. Rounding the corner, I find Grace leaning against the doorjamb, her arms wrapped around herself as she stares outside, lost in her thoughts.
I step forward, accidentally kicking a box, and it startles her. She spins around with a hand on her throat, her eyes wide. “You scared the hell out of me. What are ya doin’ here?”
“I came to talk to you.”
She pushes from the door. “Sorry, now’s not a good time. I need to get back to work.”
The brush off has my temper flaring. “You plan to just keep ignoring me until I go away? Is that it?”
Her eyes drop to the floor, feet shifting. “What do you want me to say, Sawyer?”
“For starters, you could tell me what I did wrong.”
“You didn’t do anything,” she whispers.
“Really? Because you’re sure fucking acting like I have.”
“I’m sorry. I never meant to hurt your feelings.”
“For fuck’s sake! Would you look at me?”
Her head snaps up, pain and anger prominent in her amber eyes. “Do I really need me to spell it out for you? I’m humiliated enough as it is.”
“Humiliated about what?”
“For throwing myself at you, all right?” she yells, tears welling in her eyes. “I promise it will never happen again. Now let’s just move on and forget about it!”
She blows past me but I grab her arm before she can make it far. She flinches, raising her arms protectively in front of her.
I quickly release her and step back. “You think I would hit you, Grace? Huh? Is that what you think of me?”
Her slender throat bobs with emotion. “No, I don’t. It was just reflex.”
A heavy breath leaves me as I fight to rein in my temper. “Look. I’m not sorry about the other night so you shouldn’t be either.”
“Don’t lie to me. I got the rejection loud and clear.”
“Did you ever fucking consider that I stopped because I was trying to do the right thing? You drank a whole damn bottle of wine, Grace. I wasn’t going to take advantage of you.”
She scoffs. “Right, coming from the guy that will screw anything.” As soon as the words leave her mouth, she drops her head, her shoulders deflating. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have—”
“You know what? Save it. I’m done. I don’t need this shit.” Before I say
something I’ll regret, I walk away.
Mac watches me blow through the kitchen and the new girl clears a wide path for me as I storm out the front door.
Try to be noble and that’s what I get. Well, forget it. I’m Sawyer fucking Evans. I can have any woman I want. Why should I care about what some blonde chick who bakes delicious pies thinks of me?
Climbing into my truck, I slam the door and keep a tight hold on my anger, because it feels a hell of a lot better than the burn spreading through my chest. A pain I’m not used to feeling.
Grace
Tears stream down my face as I run into the kitchen and grab my coat. “Mac, I need to go. I’m sorry but I can’t be here right now.”
He nods, worry etched on his face. “You go on. We’ll be fine. Did you want me to give you a ride?”
“No, but thank you. I need the fresh air. I’ll be back tomorrow.” Lifting to the tips of my toes, I plant my usual kiss on his cheek. I’m about to make my exit but he wraps me in a bear hug, squeezin’ the life out of me.
“Watching you this last week is breaking my heart, Grace.”
Guilt strikes the deepest part of me. I’m hurting everyone around me just because I’m hurting. I’ve never been a self-pitying person and I let my pain get the best of me.
“I’m sorry, Mac. I never meant to hurt any of you. I promise to be better.”
“Don’t be sorry, darlin’, if anyone has a right to be sad it’s you. But let your friends help you, all right? Don’t push them away.”
I nod, feeling terrible for what just happened with Sawyer.
Mac releases me. “Get out of here. Call if you need anything.”
“I will. Thank you.” I rush out of the diner, my steps quick as I walk home. Reaching into my purse, I pull out my cell and type a text to Kayla and Julia.
Are y’all busy? Can you meet me at my house? I need some company.
I hate to bother them but I really need their advice. I need to make things right with Sawyer.
My phone chimes a moment later.
Julia: On our way.
Her quick response has my heart warming in my chest. I may have had a lot of hurt come my way in the last three years, but I also have a lot to be thankful for, especially my friends. My mother always used to say, If the bad starts to overshadow the good, baby girl, then dig deeper, because you’ll end up havin’ more of it.
It’s something I wish I was mindful of this past week. I’ve been a self-pityin’ fool. I should create a pie called Feelin’ Sorry For Myself Pie, one with yucky ingredients like oatmeal and parsley mashed together.
I finally turn down my street and see Julia and Kayla are already at my house, waiting for me on my driveway. I pick up speed, heading toward them in a slow jog. They can tell I’m upset and meet me halfway, folding me into a hug.
“Thank you for comin’.”
“Thank you for texting us when you needed someone,” Julia says.
“Yeah, and I especially want to thank you for pulling me away from my husband. The man-cold has hit my house, and I was about to start poisoning his soup if I had to hear any more about how serious a sore throat can be.”
We burst into a fit of laughter, something we haven’t done in a while and that’s my fault.
My smile fades, throat growing tight. “I’m sorry I’ve been such a downer this week, and I’m really sorry if I hurt y’all’s feelings.”
“You didn’t,” Julia assures me, her expression soft with understanding. “We know you’re going through a hard time right now.”
“I am but no more. I promise.”
“Why don’t we go inside and you can fill us in on what’s going on,” Kayla suggests. “I brought wine for the two of us, in case this was a crisis alcohol can fix, and I brought Jules some sparkling juice. She can pretend it’s wine.”
We head inside to my living room and I tell them what happened with Sawyer, guilt spreading through my chest once again when I relay what my last comment to him was.
“You should have seen his face, I’ve never felt so awful in my life. I’m a terrible, terrible person,” I spit out, angry with myself.
“Whoa, easy there, Mother Theresa, I wouldn’t go that far.” Kayla pops the cork off the wine and hands me the bottle. “Here drink this. Trust me, it will make things a whole lot better.”
Grabbing the bottle, I take a swig and choke down the strong taste.
“There ya go, good job.” She takes the bottle back and downs a little herself, wiping her mouth off after. “Now, first of all, you’re not a terrible person. People make mistakes, and let’s be honest, although the last comment was unnecessary it also wasn’t untrue. Even Sawyer knows that.”
I shake my head. “That might be his reputation but he’s never been like that with me. He’s only ever been kind, and I treated him so horribly.”
Julia coasts her hand up and down my back. “Don’t beat yourself up so much, Grace, like Kayla said—people make mistakes. All you can do is apologize and ask for forgiveness.”
“You’re right. That’s exactly what I’m gonna do. I’ll bake him a special pie, an apology pie, then I’ll take it to him.” I glance at the clock, knowing if I start now it won’t be too late and I can take it to him tonight.
“Can we help?” Kayla asks. “I’d love to learn how to make a pie.”
A smile spreads across my lips, my heart dancing in excitement. “I’d love to show y’all, come on.”
We head into the kitchen and I turn on music, which is something I always do when baking, then I teach my two best friends how to make a pie. I put extra special care into this one though, hoping it will be enough for Sawyer to forgive me.
Sawyer
“Another one, Jack,” I bellow, waving my shot glass at the bartender.
Instead of going back to the gym and throwing my bad mood around at my friends, I decided to come to Badass Jack’s. The local waterin’ hole is the perfect atmosphere to drown my anger and that’s exactly what I have been doing.
Jack walks over to my end of the bar, bringing me another shot of whiskey. The moment it hits the counter I throw it back and relish in the burn.
“You wanna talk about it, kid?”
I shake my head then regret it when the room spins. I’m fucked up. And the worst part is, I can still feel the tightness in my chest.
“You know what, Jack?”
“What, SEAL boy?”
I ignore the ‘SEAL boy’ comment from the former badass Marine. “When people tell you that doing the right thing feels good, they’re fuckin’ lying.”
The older man grunts, amused.
“It’s the damn truth. I did something that would have made my mom proud, but the thanks I got for it was a swift kick to the balls. And let me tell you something else,” I continue, shaking my drunk-ass finger at him. “The women you have to watch out for are the sweet-looking blonde ones who smell like cupcakes and make delicious pies. I’m telling you, they don’t look like they could hurt a fly but they’ll take your ass down hard.”
Talking about it gets me all fired up again.
“I mean, who gives a shit about cupcakes and delicious pies anyway?”
The older man shrugs. “I like pies. How good we talkin’ here?”
I stare him dead in the eye. “Real good. Dangerous good. So good that it can rip you to pieces and stomp on you good.”
Jack chuckles. “Shit, that does sound dangerous; I ain’t never had no pie like that.”
I grunt, and am about to continue my drunk tirade when something warm presses up against me. Looking over, my gaze collides with a great pair of fake tits. I already know who it is before my eyes lift to her face that’s caked with makeup.
“All by yourself tonight, Sawyer?” Jenny asks, laying her hand on my thigh.
“What do you want?”
“You,” she whispers in a sultry voice, her fingers finding my cock that’s standing to attention behind my jeans.
That goes to show
just how drunk I am. Not even her annoying voice can kill my hard-on.
My eyes move over her, and I pay attention to how different she is from a cupcake. Her eyes are blue and don’t cause a shift in my chest. Her brown hair with a hint of red is the complete opposite of the golden wavy hair that feels like silk. And most of all, she doesn’t smell like a cupcake.
Grabbing her wrist, I stop her traveling hand and yank her against me. “One night. You hear me, Jenny? One fucking night and that’s it. If you want more than that then get the hell out of here.”
She smiles, revealing her lipstick on her teeth. “I’m a one night kind of girl, Sawyer.”
I don’t waste time thinking about it. Standing, I throw my money on the counter and catch Jack shaking his head before I let her drag my drunk-ass out of the bar.
Any second thoughts that try surfacing I shove back down, praying this will kill the need I have for sweet little blonde cupcakes who don’t want anything to do with me.
Grace
The night is quiet and peaceful as I walk to Sawyer’s apartment building, my nervous fingers gripping the pie tightly that I made for him.
Hopefully he’s not upset that I’m stopping by like this without calling first.
I just couldn’t wait until morning. I’ve been absolutely heartsick since seeing him earlier at the diner. I’ve been running through my mind what to say; hoping my apology and this pie will be enough.
As I come up to the complex, an elderly lady walks out. Her smile is kind as she holds the door open for me. Thanking her, I walk in and make my way toward the apartment number Julia and Kayla gave me.
My pulse begins to race, anxiety plaguing me as I reach his door. Taking a deep breath, I raise my hand to knock when a loud moan stops my fist midair.
“Sawyer, that feels so good.”
My heart plummets straight to my stomach. All the air leaves my lungs in a painful rush as I grab on to the wall next to me, feeling close to collapsing from the pain infiltrating my chest.
“Grace?”
My head snaps to the left and I find Cade striding toward me, his eyes dark with concern.