by Abby Tyler
Louisa couldn’t help it, but she busted out with a manic case of the giggles. She laughed so hard she had to cross her knees to avoid peeing herself. She really shouldn’t have drunk an entire Diet Coke on the way over. If she sneezed, she was a goner.
“What’s so funny?”
“Just you… trying to be objective… about baby furniture…”
He continued to glare at her, arms crossed, looking like, well, a stern police officer in the middle of the baby store.
Every second he stood there, grimacing like an angry principal at the school carnival, the giggles overtook Louisa a little more. Soon, she was so overcome with laughter that the other shoppers in the store paused with their carts, trying to figure out what was so funny.
Jack continued his unrelenting stare at her. A vein on his neck began to throb. This struck Louisa as even more comical, like Arnold Schwarzenegger in the cop movie with kindergartners. She was about to very inappropriately quote a famous line from the movie about certain parts of the anatomy when his voice cut through her laughter.
“Are you going to take this seriously or not?”
She waved her hand at him, barely stuttering out the words. “Not in the least. But if you think looking at all these objective facts means that you’ll come up with a decision that will make you the happiest, then I think you’re crazy.”
“This is not about being happy. This is about finding a good fit.”
Louisa sobered enough to argue. “Of course it’s about being happy,” she countered. “It’s going into your home.”
“And it needs to be a good fit.”
“You don’t have a spontaneous bone in your body.” She gave him a good hard stare, the same one she would use in elementary school when she would double dog dare someone to stick their tongue to a frozen pole, or throw their shoes over telephone wires.
“You’re impossible,” Jack fired back.
“You’re a big stick-in-the-mud.”
“I can be as spontaneous as anyone.”
“Really?” She dug through the diaper bag a moment then pulled out a Kleenex.
“What are you going to do with that?” His voice was like thunder.
“I’m going to give you a little test.”
“On Kleenex?”
She pulled a pen out of the side pocket and wrote down the numbers 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, and 6. Then she tore the Kleenex into six parts. She cupped the torn bits of tissue in her hands and held them out for Jack.
“Tissue number one is the white set. Two is the teak. Three is the black. Four is the cherry wood. Five is the oak. And six is that really pricey mahogany number.”
She lifted her hands up. “Be spontaneous.”
Jack’s face could have scared an evil clown. “This is not spontaneous. It’s just foolish.”
Louisa pulled her hands back. “Are all the sets in your price range?”
He glanced around. “Sure.”
“Are any of the sets too big to fit in the room?”
He lifted the tape measure. “They all fit.”
“All right then. Tell me that one of the sets feels better than all the others. If you have zero feelings, then you’ll have to choose a random number and take a chance.”
He looked down at her outstretched hands. “This is ridiculous.”
“Then be ridiculous,” she said. “Sometimes, it’s okay to let life be a little ridiculous.”
Jack looked around at the sets again. The mahogany set is too fancy,” he said. “It looks like it belongs in a mansion.”
“Okay.” She dug through the tissues and plucked out number six. “What else?”
“I feel like the white one will get scratched easily.”
“Fair enough. She took out number one. “What about the other four?”
“They’re all made of wood—”
“Nope,” she said. “We’re not looking for objective facts anymore. The other four sets are equal. Do any of them give you a good feeling inside when you look at them?”
He gritted his teeth as he said, “I don’t get a good feeling from furniture.”
“I think you’re missing something important,” she said.
“And what’s that?”
“It’s not the furniture itself that will provide the feeling. It’s more about—can you imagine it in your house? How do you feel about seeing it there? Do you picture yourself putting Ella to sleep in that crib? Can you see her when she’s big enough to stand up, holding onto the edge and peeking over with her little face?”
Jack’s eyebrows drew together. “Why do I need to think about any of those things to buy some sticks of wood?”
Louisa wasn’t about to let him get away with this line of thinking. Jack needed to change. He was a father now.
“Because that’s what makes a house a home. Or do you care about that with your objective facts?”
Well, that got him. He practically lunged for her, grabbing one of the tissues from her hand. He shouted at her. “Number five, the oak set. Done.”
Well, boo. He’d learned nothing. At least it was a pretty set. It might actually be nicer than the white one. She looked down at Ella. Her tiny eyes were beginning to get heavy.
“I tried,” she whispered to her. “We’ll keep working on him. Hopefully, Uncle Jack isn’t really made of stone.”
As Jack pulled the slip of paper to give to the stock person who would locate the unassembled crib to take home, Louisa thought back on that moment when Ella smiled and they had shared a moment of exhilaration.
There was emotion in Jack Stone somewhere. She and Ella would have to find it, even if it would be like digging into rock with a spoon.
Chapter 11
Those early weeks with Ella and Louisa were a little different for Jack. He was accustomed to a very structured way of living. Before the baby had come, his job had been his primary focus. Secondary to that, he had his workouts and his community pursuits. Some volunteer gigs. Playing “old man football” with Coach Carter. Then there were the chores. Meals. Laundry. Upkeep on the house.
Now, he found that everything had been rearranged. As much as he wanted his work to be his focus, he found that Ella invaded his thoughts all the time. Was she okay? Was she growing properly? Had she eaten well? Was the extra crying from the night before due to sickness?
And there were the big questions. Would Jenica take off with the baby when she got out? Would she fall back into addiction? His worries would never end then.
The caseworker had visited twice since the baby’s arrival to see how he was getting along. She approved of Louisa as a nanny, and let him know that nothing about Jenica’s prison situation had changed.
But Jack had. He couldn’t imagine handing over this helpless baby to his sister. But when he tried to express this to the caseworker, she just patted his hand and said to raise the baby as close to his heart as he could and hope for the best.
Jack was not the sort of man who just hoped for the best. He would set goals and accomplish them.
But he was learning that babies didn’t quite work that way.
Often when he was alone with Ella, he couldn’t finish a workout routine or get through a meal without her on his shoulder. Dishes often went undone, and he still wasn’t comfortable grocery shopping with a baby. If she cried, he felt everyone in the store was judging his skill.
Still, he found satisfaction in caring for her that was unmatched by any of his other pursuits. If only his sister had chosen the baby over amphetamines. Cleaned up and gotten away from her situation before the last bust. She didn’t even know what sort of daughter she had.
But that was apparently about to change.
Jack was making his patrol around one afternoon when he drove down Murray Street to see the caseworker’s car parked in front of his house.
He checked his phone. She hadn’t called to say she was coming.
His entire body went on alert.
He raced out of his car to his own front door. A mil
lion scenarios flashed through his mind. They let Jenica out early. They were coming to get the baby and take her away.
Maybe he hadn’t filled out some form. Did they decide his job was too dangerous to be a single caregiver?
He flung the door open to see Louisa sitting on the sofa with the caseworker. Ella swung contentedly nearby, staring at the ceiling fan.
“What’s going on?” he demanded.
“Aisha is here with some news about your sister,” Louisa said.
He knew it. “Is she getting out early? Are you taking the baby?”
He would try to stop her. He’d do whatever he had to do to keep the baby out of Jenica’s clutches until he could assess his sister for himself.
“Oh, no,” Aisha said, bending down to pull a folder from her bag. “Ella is doing great here.”
Jack tried to talk himself down. Aisha seemed perfectly calm. Unlike his image of social workers as stern old women, Aisha was young and lively, her black hair an explosion of a million tiny braids. She always seemed more likely to have just come from a beach party than checking on some of the hardest home situations in Southern Missouri.
“What is it then?”
“I have some paperwork for you,” she said. “I was just going to leave it with the nanny, but since you’re here, we can fill it out now.”
Jack felt his anxiety trickle down into annoyance. There always seemed to be more paperwork. “What’s this for?”
“Your sister has been approved for visitors.”
“I thought I was already on her visitor list.”
“You are, but it’s different when we’re adding a minor. I have to be involved to make sure it’s in the child’s best interest to see the mother. The judge just approved it.”
She slid the paper across the coffee table.
So he was supposed to take the baby up there like they were going on a picnic or something?
“Am I required to go see her?”
Aisha put on a forced grin, one she probably had to use any time a family questioned her. “I’m afraid you do. This is court-ordered visitation. Failure to comply would be reported to the judge, and he could make the decision to place the baby with a different family.”
“He can do that?”
Aisha’s smile fell more firmly in place. “The judge is a she, and yes she most definitely can. Now, in your case, I would say it’s a little less likely than others since you are the baby’s uncle and not an outside foster family. But disobeying the court is not something to take lightly. Particularly in your case, being an officer and all.”
His entire body tensed. “Do I have the ability to speak to the judge myself?”
“Of course. We don’t have another hearing scheduled for about four months. But if you feel strongly that it is not in Ella’s best interest to see Jenica, we could request an emergency hearing to adjust the visitation schedule. Currently, they want you there once a month.”
“Once a month?” Even taking Ella into that dark, dingy place one time was too much.
Aisha’s eyes softened. “I understand your concern, but I really think you should try it. Jenica has been in and out of jail an awful lot. If anything is going to save her,” she looked over at the baby, “it’s going to be her child.”
Jack had to temper his voice to avoid roaring like a bear. “It’s not the baby’s job to save her.”
“I understand that,” Aisha said. “But that doesn’t mean we don’t try.”
Jack turned his attention to Louisa. “You’ve known Jenica your whole life. Do you think she can be saved?”
Louisa watched the swing glide back and forth a few times before finally looking at Jack. “I guess the question is, do you want your sister to be saved?”
“Of course I do. I don’t want her to be an addict right up until she ODs in some dark alley.”
Aisha held out a pen. “Then it’s settled. If you will sign this, I will get it turned in to the prison.” She glanced over at Louisa. “Would you like Louisa to be added to the visitor list? You’ll need to get online and start that paperwork.”
Jack didn’t look up as he scrawled his name on the page. “I’ll get her in the system. I remember how.”
Aisha tucked the form away and stood up. “I’m glad I caught you then. Get an early start on scheduling a visit. I know your work hours make it challenging.” She gave them a little wave.
When the door closed behind her, Louisa said, “I’m sorry I didn’t warn you. I was trying to sneak away so I could send a text when you pulled up.”
“That doesn’t matter. I was surprised she didn’t notify me herself. I wonder if the surprise visits are just part of the deal.”
Louisa shrugged. “She seemed very apologetic, insisting she was in the neighborhood.”
“It’s irrelevant now. Do you want to go to the jail when I take the baby up there?”
“I should probably make the trip, just because the drive might be hard otherwise. But I don’t have to go in if no one thinks it’s a good idea.”
“I have no idea what’s a good idea anymore.”
She grinned. “I find the whole thing very fascinating.”
“Right, me and my fascinating family. I’m sure we give the gossips plenty to chat about.”
The baby began to fuss, so Louisa walked over to pick her up from the swing. “I wouldn’t know about that. I don’t get out much anymore.” She lifted the baby to her shoulder. “I took on this job that has taken over my life, you see…”
She grinned up at him in a way that settled the anger he’d been grappling with since spotting the caseworker’s car. He felt lighter as he said, “Well, don’t let your boss work you too hard.”
Louisa patted the baby’s back. “I’m not sure she’s much on negotiation.”
With that, he let out a belly laugh so deep that he couldn’t remember feeling one quite like it before. Maybe it was the aftermath of fear, the sense that everything was all right after all.
Or maybe it was Louisa. She’d always been the class clown. He’d always hated that about her. She never took anything seriously.
But not anymore. The smile she gave him hit him again with another unfamiliar emotion. Contentment.
Laughter and ease.
He could get used to that.
Chapter 12
When the day to drive to the prison arrived, Louisa was determined to make a pleasant day of it. Baby Ella had just passed her six-week checkup with flying marks, and her routine with Jack had become a comfortable rhythm.
Now that the hardest days seemed behind them, and Ella’s diet was under control, Louisa felt an increasing urgency to make sure Jack felt comfortable in his role as a father figure. This was particularly important as they approached the visit where his sister would be reunited with her baby.
There was no way this would be simple. If Jenica was too aloof or careless about how she handled the baby, Jack wouldn’t want to visit anymore and they would have to fight the judge.
But if his sister made grandiose plans for what would happen when she was released, Jack would think she was unrealistic and unprepared for motherhood.
As they rolled past pine trees in the foothills of the Ozarks, Louisa could practically see the tension radiating from Jack.
“The spring flowers sure are coming up strong this year,” she ventured in an attempt to break the stony silence.
Jack merely grunted.
Louisa turned around to look at Ella, who had conked out in her carrier in the back seat of the truck. “Hopefully she’ll be happy and alert by the time we get there.”
Another grunt.
Did stress always turn Jack into a gorilla? Louisa tried to conjure moments when she’d seen Jack under duress.
She sometimes encountered him during his patrols. He always had this stiff, formal demeanor, one that telegraphed don’t mess with me at forty paces.
Even then, she’d known what he was trying to convey. Authority. Strength. He wanted to make
sure that anyone spotting him knew that Applebottom was safe in his care.
This wasn’t a bad thing, but Jack didn’t seem able to turn it off. If she spotted him jogging down Murray Street while she was running errands, or if he strode into Gertrude and Maude’s pie shop while she was there, he had the same standoffish attitude.
Still, with their close proximity since she had started working with him, she’d seen glimpses of the laid-back man he could be. Particularly as the baby had become a little more responsive to facial expressions and shaking toys, he’d lightened up a little.
But those moments were rare. Sometimes Louisa felt like she was raising both of them, the child and the father.
There wasn’t much she could do to calm him down, not until this visit was over. So she tried to relax herself. As they drove through the mountains bursting with spring color, she wondered if this was what it felt like to have a family vacation. Mom. Dad. Baby. Things she could scarcely remember from childhood and hadn’t expected to experience from the other side.
It was good. The sun through the windshield was warm. The clouds floated along the skyline above the pine trees.
She sank into the fantasy. Wife. Husband. Happy days.
The drive was too long to do in one stretch, and they had planned to stop for lunch in a small town about halfway to the prison. No doubt Jack would choose something simple, a diner or chain restaurant.
Inspired by the way she felt along the drive, Louisa wanted more.
She pulled up her phone and found a State Park along the route. She then traced backward to see where they could pick up food, wishing she had thought to pack something herself.
Now to convince Jack.
She cleared her throat. “I was thinking maybe it would be nice to grab some lunch and eat at the State Park instead of some fast-food place.”
Jack’s expression didn’t even flicker.
She went on. “We could all use the fresh air, and it would be more relaxing as we went into this stressful visit.”