I’ve worked with groups and individuals on-site in Africa, Europe, Asia, South America, and the Middle East, and taught classes with twenty different nationalities in one room. I’ve witnessed people from every region in the world all fight through the exact same fears: fear of being in front of an audience, fear of forgetting their message, and fear of being inadequate. Similarly, I’ve heard them express the very same desires: the desire to stand confidently in front of an audience, the desire to speak from the heart, and the desire to move people to action. And while I’ve seen that the contexts differ widely from country to country, the process of preparing to speak in public is the same. Your tone of voice may change in different languages, your hand gestures might be driven by your audience’s culture, but we all need to take time to prepare and practice. Across all industries and sectors, across all levels of experience, there is an insatiable need for public speaking skills. We feel the need to connect with others because connection is what makes us feel human.
Nearly every person I worked with had a hunger for authenticity and self-actualization. While I coached people in public speaking, I wasn’t just teaching them how to write a concise speech or use effective body language. Coaching and training became a way for people to find out who they really are, why they are called to speak, and how they can have an impact on the world around them. So many people have something to say but lack the skills or the courage to say it. Public speaking, then, is about more than just skill-building; it’s a critical part of leadership development.
As people move into more senior leadership positions, they spend more time communicating with others: empowering, motivating, negotiating, and serving as a role model. In their communities and in the world at large, they’re faced with pressing social, environmental, economic, and political challenges. As we face a growing number of crises in the world around us, we invariably think, “What can I do to make an impact?” If leadership is about bringing people together to achieve a common goal, then we can lead at work, in our communities, or on the global stage. It starts with speaking up.
Speak with Impact: How to Command the Room and Influence Others gives you the tools to build your confidence and find your voice. It includes strategies, stories, and exercises that walk you through the process of writing, practicing, and delivering a speech or presentation or holding an important conversation. It reveals some of the most innovative solutions from the fields of music, academia, and international business. It contains practical and immediately applicable steps that busy professionals can use to improve their speaking skills amidst a day full of competing priorities, with tools and tips to maximize their time and create a powerful, impactful message that inspires their audiences to action.
From “How to write a speech in thirty minutes” to a more detailed process for some of the most important speeches of your professional career, this book calls on my experience working with men and women at all stages of their life, in dozens of countries and industries around the world. I’m not the only source of knowledge in this book: I bring in the opinions of other experts in the field of public speaking and beyond and share the many lessons I’ve learned from my students. I also share what my team and I have learned from our clients, and you’ll hear me use the pronoun “we” when including the other talented trainers and coaches at Global Public Speaking.
This book will also help you build executive presence, which can either hold you back in your career or catapult you to the top of your organization. Regardless of your job, age, or years of experience, your abilities to speak well under pressure and build trusting relationships with those around you are critical components of your leadership effectiveness in any setting.
In the first half of the book, I provide a path for you to connect with your drive to speak and draft content that is authentic and genuine. I walk you through a process for writing, polishing, and practicing your content. I provide tools for engaging with your audience and ensuring that your nonverbal delivery matches your words. I teach you the breathing techniques of opera singers to calm your nerves and strengthen your voice. In the second half of the book, I discuss different types of speaking situations that you might face, from panels to conference calls, and provide specific techniques for mastering those situations. I end with a call to action for how to use these skills going forward.
I’ve also added additional resources to my website. Throughout the book, the icon indicates more information, resources, and videos at www.speakwithimpactbook.com, and the icon indicates which exercises you can come back to for practice.
Keep this book on your desk or in your home and refer to it when you want to use your voice to have an impact on the world around you. Whether you have a presentation in your first job out of college or you’re addressing the entire company in your new role as CEO, this book will guide you through the process.
Public speaking is not about getting up and reading a script. It’s about looking deep into yourself to ask what you want to say and who needs to hear it. Then it’s about building your confidence and your skills to speak with power, ability, and authenticity. Finally, it’s about taking action based on your ideas.
Public speaking is exercising leadership with your voice—speaking up on behalf of your ideas, your vision, your organization, or your community—and persuading others to join you to achieve a shared goal.
No matter where you live, what you do, or what stage you are at in your career, you have something powerful to say, and you have a right to say it.
When we connect with what truly drives us, when we find the courage to speak up, and when we act on our words, we have a positive and powerful impact on the world around us.
CHAPTER 1
Before You Speak
What Is Public Speaking, and Where Does It Happen?
USING THIS BOOK
This book is designed to walk you through the process of writing, practicing, and delivering a speech or presentation in front of any audience. The first half outlines the process I’ve developed over the past fifteen years. The second half prepares you for different speaking situations, from moderating a panel to speaking off the cuff.
Identify an upcoming speaking opportunity and use this book to prepare. If you don’t have one coming up, the section “Finding opportunities to speak” will help you.
Find a practice partner with whom you can practice what you learn in this book. It should be someone you trust who can give you genuine feedback: a friend, family member, or colleague. Talk through your goals and fears about public speaking with this person, and practice your speech drafts along the way. Because public speaking revolves around the impact we have on others when we speak, it’s important to practice your speech with others to ensure that you are having the intended impact.
Alternately, you could form a book club and go through this book as a community. Before each meeting, read a chapter of the book and then come together to practice what you learn and apply it to your upcoming speech. Celebrate your progress and successes together.
Use this book as a practical, skill-building manual. Write in it, highlight it, and dog-ear the pages or take notes on your digital copy. It’s intended to help you again and again. Many sections end with an exercise to apply directly to your speech or presentation. Each time you have an upcoming speech, you can quickly go through the exercises to prepare.
Don’t try to go through this book all in one sitting. As you’ll learn in Chapter 3, writing is an interactive process. Spend some time reading and writing, then take a break. You’ll learn about the power of “Pause and Breathe” in Chapter 7; beyond being a practical technique to avoid filler words and give your audience time to absorb your message, pause and breathe is a philosophy for calming your nerves and living your life.
VISUALIZING YOUR GOAL
If you’re listening to this book as an audiobook, close your eyes and listen to this paragraph. If you’re reading it, then as soon as you finish this paragraph, close your eyes and
visualize it: You are about to give a speech. You’re nervous, but you feel excited and ready. You walk onstage with confidence and a sense of purpose. You make eye contact with your audience, pause and breathe, and then deliver an opening sentence that captures people’s attention. You describe a central, compelling message that resonates with the audience and causes them to think differently about the world. You can see heads nodding and some people taking notes. You speak in a genuine, warm tone that makes people feel like you are having a conversation with them, like you would be the same person onstage as offstage. You use personal examples that illustrate your main message and include a call to action that underscores the urgency of your message. You finish to strong applause and a feeling of excitement and accomplishment. You did it!
How do you feel? I imagine if the above happened to you, you would feel energized, excited, and purposeful. That’s exactly how I’d like you to feel, whether you are walking out onstage or striding confidently into a conference room. That’s why I’ve written this book.
DEFINING PUBLIC SPEAKING
What’s the difference between public speaking and presentation skills?
“I don’t speak in public, but I give presentations every day.”
I remember the quizzical look I gave the woman who said that to me many years ago. I realized we might have different definitions of the same concept.
Close your eyes and picture someone who is “public speaking.” Where are they? What are they doing? Chances are, you picture someone standing on a podium, looking out at a vast crowd. You can hear a pin drop in the audience as she clears her throat and prepares to speak. Maybe she has a script, and maybe she uses a microphone. There’s nothing casual about it; it’s a formal speech.
A formal speech is certainly one example of public speaking. Giving a presentation is another example, when you convey information to an audience. You are probably in a smaller setting like a conference room, you might use visual aids or handouts, and your focus is more informational than inspirational. There is also some overlap between the two types of speaking. A presentation can be inspiring. A speech can be informative. Every time you communicate, you have an opportunity to influence others and make an impact.
I believe public speaking happens any time you speak with an audience of one or more people with some purpose. It’s something you do every single day, at work and at home. It’s a speech, presentation, or conversation, and it can happen in person, by phone, or by video. Why use such a broad definition? Because if we define public speaking as standing up and making formal remarks to an attentive audience, then we’ll be neglecting the daily opportunities we have to connect with, influence, and inspire others.
Take a minute and think about what kind of speaking you do, with an audience of one or more, with some goal: You’re being interviewed for your dream job or pitching a client, prospect, investor, or donor. You’re having a difficult conversation with a direct report or addressing the entire company across different time zones. You’re speaking up on a conference call or leading a video webinar. You’re running for political office or trying to bring together your community to take action. You’re speaking at a conference or walking into a networking event. In each and every one of these situations, you are speaking with an audience of one or more with some purpose. You are speaking in public, and you have an opportunity to make an impact.
Ever since the day that woman told me, “I don’t speak in public, but I give presentations every day,” I have used both phrases together. Not because I believe they are separate, but because you might believe they are separate. And one of the first lessons in public speaking is to know your audience and their assumptions. If you relate to the phrase “presentation skills,” then that’s what I will use to get your attention instead of trying to convince you that my phrase is more inclusive. This book will cover all of it.
We Do This All Around the World
No matter what country we live in, what language we speak, what industry we work in, or what stage we are at in our career, every single one of us speaks in public. Public speaking is one of the most powerful and ancient ways in which we connect with others.
I’ve worked with Armenian economists, British investment bankers, Israeli diplomats, Japanese entrepreneurs, Palestinian investors, and women business owners from Argentina to Rwanda to Afghanistan. In this book, we’ll talk about what is universal in public speaking and what is culturally specific so that you can give a powerful speech in English, Arabic, Spanish, or Kinyarwanda.
Is It Talking At People, or Talking With Them?
Many people don’t like public speaking because they hate to be the center of attention, or perhaps because they don’t like lecturing other people. Here is some good news: it’s not about making you the center of attention. A powerful speech should feel like a conversation between you and every single person in the audience, no matter the size.
As we’ll discuss later on, when you focus on the message instead of the messenger, then many of your nerves dissipate. You no longer become the center of attention: your idea becomes the center of attention, and your audience becomes the focus.
Is Public Speaking a Skill or a Talent?
Many people use the excuse that public speaking is a talent that they weren’t born with. My experience and the experience of my clients has taught me that public speaking is a skill. In fact, it’s a core belief upon which I built my company. While some people may be naturally better than others, it’s something that every single person can learn through practice and feedback. It’s a skill that you can learn and master. It’s a skill that this book will help you build.
Is Public Speaking About Substance, or Style?
Public speaking is not about dressing up a boring message with jazzy hand gestures or a charming smile. It’s first and foremost about crafting a compelling message that resonates with you and your audience. Then it’s about delivering that message in a way that engages your audience’s attention by using body language and eye contact that enhance instead of distract from the speech. It’s about both substance and style, content and delivery.
Imagine a speaker with all substance and no style. She knows everything there is to know about her subject and has crafted a beautiful speech. However, she buries her nose in her notes, reads word-for-word from the page, and speaks in a flat, lifeless voice. Will she capture your attention? Will you listen to her entire message? Or will your mind wander to the things you didn’t get done at work that day or what time you have to pick up your kids from school?
Now imagine a speaker with all style and no substance. He smiles widely at the audience, moves masterfully around the stage, and speaks with a warm, booming voice. He makes meaningful eye contact and pauses to make sure you’ve absorbed the message. The problem is, there is no message—he speaks in platitudes we’ve all heard before and doesn’t have a compelling point. In fact, you’re wondering what the message is at all. There’s a humorous example of this at www.speakwithimpactbook.com.
Whether in a conference room or onstage, when you combine a powerful message with engaging and authentic delivery, you capture people’s attention and compel them to listen. You connect with them on a personal level, which lets them see you as a human being. This builds trust with the audience because it demonstrates how much you have in common. When you do this, your words have maximum impact.
Some people will discredit the importance of nonverbal communication. Some experts will tell you that it’s all about the strength of their argument and the veracity of their data. I disagree. Professor Alex “Sandy” Pentland of MIT’s Human Dynamics Laboratory explains that nonverbal signals predate human language. We pick up on these “honest signals” far more quickly than we do the language itself. So while we may think it’s just about the content, we’re reading cues before the speaker even says a word.1
Why Is Public Speaking Important?
If you’ve purchased this book, then you already have some idea of why
public speaking is important. Maybe you’re still scarred from that first public speaking experience you had in middle school, or maybe it happened last week at a staff meeting, or you have just been informed that you will have to give a toast at your best friend’s wedding.
Why go through all the effort to learn how to speak in public? Isn’t it easier just to hide behind email or strategically delegate the presentation to someone else?
Speech is one of the most powerful tools we have as human beings. It’s one of the ways in which we build trust with others: if you want to get to know someone, you talk to them. In studying high-performing teams, Professor Pentland found face-to-face communication to be the most valuable form of communication.2 Regardless of all the digital ways we can connect, there is no form of communication as powerful as an in-person conversation—to clear up a controversy, inform people of a new procedure, or inspire a community to take action. There’s an energy in the room, an electricity, a bond that’s formed when a group of people sits together in the same space and goes through the same experience. When you lead that experience, you connect with people on a new level.
This book will help you build trust with clients and prospects and move up within your career. It will help you manage difficult conversations and lead a team or an organization. It will help you build confidence in yourself and help you connect with others on a deeply personal level. It will help you pass your knowledge on to the next generation and become an advocate on behalf of what you believe in.
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