Method 3: Practice with a Memo Recorder
Areas of Focus: Vocal variety, enunciation, speed
Practicing with a voice recorder lets you focus only on your voice without getting distracted by body language. When you listen to your voice, ask yourself: Does your energy level match the words? Do you speak slowly and clearly? Does your accent make it difficult for people to understand you? How many filler words do you use? In Chapter 7, I’ll provide exercises to help you speak with a powerful voice.
Method 4: Practice with Your Props
Areas of Focus: Visual aids, timing
Using slides in your speech will make you speak for longer than you intend (see Chapter 9 about using slides). If you’re preparing to use props—slides, handouts, video, or other visual aids—run through your speech with these tools and time yourself. Also practice setting up the visual aids so that you don’t fumble in front of your audience on the day of the speech. If you need an assistant to help you, take steps now to have someone join you the day of the speech.
Method 5: Practice in Front of Others
Areas of Focus: Message, body language, confidence
In every single one of my workshops, people practice their speeches in front of others. It’s incredibly valuable to stand in front of a few colleagues, friends, or family members and deliver your speech. Some of my clients will practice their speeches in front of their teenage children, demonstrating that they themselves are not perfect. Practicing in front of others forces you to make eye contact with your audience and receive feedback on your message. If they know the audience and subject of your upcoming speech, then their content-related feedback is very helpful. But if you’ll be speaking in front of a diverse audience without a strong background in your area of expertise, practicing in front of people who don’t know the field is incredibly valuable. This practice method builds confidence every single time you use it. Use the Feedback Form I’ve developed at www.speakwithimpactbook.com.
Method 6: Practice with Your Eyes Closed
Areas of Focus: Nerves, presence, confidence
I learned about mental rehearsal years ago through Toastmasters and have found it to be one of the most powerful practice tools I’ve ever used. Sit in a comfortable position and close your eyes. Imagine the setting where you will be giving your speech or presentation: the conference or meeting room. Imagine you are excited to speak. Imagine the warm applause as you walk up to the stage or to the front of the room (I know, there probably won’t be applause in the meeting room). Pause and breathe, smile, and make eye contact with your audience. Then give your speech—word for word—in your mind. Imagine it going incredibly well. Imagine the warm round of applause as you finish the speech and the mixture of relief and pride you feel walking back to your seat. Imagine someone telling you how impactful your message was for them personally. Visualizations are very powerful; injured athletes use visualizations to keep training even when they can’t get onto the field. I use this method while lying in bed the night before the speech. Unfortunately, I sometimes put myself to sleep!
Method 7: Practice with Video
Area of Focus: Everything!
One of the most effective yet feared methods of practice is using video. You can record video on all sorts of devices such as your phone, tablet, or camera. The simpler the tool, the more likely you are to use it. Watching yourself on camera lets you evaluate: your appearance, your body language, your energy level, your message, your pacing—everything! Unfortunately, what we focus on most when watching ourselves on video are the small things only we notice: those few extra pounds or that thinning hair. Acknowledge it, put it aside, and focus on what the audience will see. Mute the sound and just watch the video. Could you guess the subject matter based on your body language? Do your hands match your message? Use this practice tool to evaluate how you come across onstage and write down a few areas to work on based on this video. While many people will shy away from recording a video of themselves, I tell them it’s always easier to watch a private video of themselves before they go onstage, as opposed to watching the actual recording of the event when it’s later posted online for the world to see!
Finding time to practice
A common complaint among our clients is that they don’t have time to practice. Don’t have thirty minutes? Ask yourself what the possible outcome of your speech or presentation will be. Will you change people’s minds, attitudes, or actions? Isn’t that worth displacing another meeting? Especially as your speeches become more high-stakes, you must protect the time you need to be successful. There are hidden minutes all around us if we put down our digital devices and look for them:
•On an airplane. This is the perfect place to write, polish, or practice your speech. You can even read it out loud in a low voice. You have minimal distractions.
•In your car during your commute. Note: Keep your eyes on the road and your hands on the wheel. Talk through the Three Questions in your mind and speak through the main message of your speech. See if you can remember the opening and closing sentences of your speech. Try out different phrases to see which feel most comfortable.
•Waiting for an appointment. Sitting in the waiting room for a doctor’s appointment or other meeting is a great place to read through the content of your speech.
•In a taxi on the way to an event. You can even practice the speech for the driver, since you have a captive audience.
•First thing in the morning. Enjoy your morning cup of coffee or tea and let your mind wander to your upcoming speech. Practice mental rehearsal with a warm, comforting beverage in your hand before the rest of the house wakes up. You could also do this right before you go to bed.
What do you do after you practice?
As a result of the different practice methods I use, I no longer need the exact script in front of me. I can reduce the speech to bullet points and bring only those points with me to the speech. I print them out in a large font, often ALL CAPS, with lots of white space, and make the pages single-sided with page numbers at the top. This is my lifeline during the event, a quiet, comforting reminder that if I lose my place, help is right in front of me.
Because of the practice methods I use:
•My language is smoother and more seamless.
•I have fewer filler words because I know what I’m going to say.
•I have more confidence that I know my subject and have a strong sense of purpose.
•My body language is confident and engaging and adds value to the meaning of my words.
•I am able to speak with impact.
In her book On Speaking Well, Peggy Noonan says that “[President] Reagan was the most natural speaker in politics, but he was a natural because he practiced so hard.”2
The more you practice, the more natural you become.
Choose two or three of the above methods to practice your upcoming speech. Reduce the script to bullet points that you can easily refer to when onstage or at the front of a room.
CHAPTER 6
Show What You Mean
The Three Movements That Make Your Speech Come Alive
THINKING ABOUT DELIVERY
You’ve spent time writing your speech. You’ve come up with a persuasive message that’s written in the language of your audience. You found a moving personal story to reinforce that message and humor that relaxes the audience. And you’ve included signposts in your speech to guide the audience along the way.
If people even get this far, they usually stop here. They run through the speech in their head and then think the nonverbal delivery will happen naturally, or that it doesn’t matter, or that it’s part magic and part inspiration. It’s none of those.
Delivery is as strategic as the message itself. And to neglect delivery is to do a huge disservice to your message.
When you speak, everything about you is communicating. Your words communicate, but so do your face, your hands, and your attire. In addition, the sound of your voice communicates beyo
nd the words. In public speaking, every communication tool you have should say the same thing.
Let’s talk about each of these tools and how you can make sure they are in harmony. But first, a caveat. I’ve taught public speaking on five continents and found that delivery differs in every culture, even within the same organization. For instance, I generally encourage speakers to make eye contact with their audience. But in some cultures, it’s inappropriate for women and men to make prolonged eye contact, or for a more junior person to look directly at his or her elders. When speaking within certain cultures, you may need to follow those cultural norms in order to connect with your audience. If you are speaking outside those cultural boundaries, then it’s important to know how to adapt your delivery accordingly.
In this book, we’re going to look at the best practice that I’ve found to be most effective for multicultural audiences, but remember that the first question you ask when preparing to speak is, Who is your audience? That includes the question What kind of cultural traditions do you need to respect?
There are three main types of movement that I focus on when speaking in public, and I call them the Three Movements:
1.Eye Contact
2.Body Language
3.Voice
1. EYE CONTACT
The employees of one organization we worked with gave frequent client presentations and, in our workshops, we would conduct role-plays simulating those presentations. I remember one person who would present with his eyes fixed firmly on the table in front of him instead of looking at his clients. He was presenting valuable market research, yet his lack of eye contact undermined the credibility of that research.
A great speech or presentation should feel like a conversation between you and every single member of the audience. After the speech, each audience member should think, “Wow, I felt like she was speaking directly to me.”
Imagine you’re meeting someone for the first time at a networking event. You smile and shake hands with this new person, but he doesn’t look you in the eye: he looks down at his shoes or above your head or at someone else in the room. How does that make you feel? We’ve all experienced this kind of awkward networking situation, and sometimes we’ve been that person looking away, whether out of nerves, a lack of confidence, or a lack of respect for others.
When you don’t make eye contact with your audience, you appear nervous, unsure of yourself, unprepared, or distracted. There are exceptions, of course. Sometimes with a very personal story, you might prefer to look down rather than at your audience. Sometimes you might look thoughtfully to the side while thinking about a certain point. And sometimes you have to read from a script due to the formality of the occasion.
But as a general rule, if you want to influence people, you have to connect with them on a personal level. And one of the most basic ways in which we connect with other human beings is through eye contact.1 When you look at one person at a time during a speech, you connect with each one as an individual.
There are certain times when it’s critical to make eye contact.
When you state your name. It’s a declaration of your own sense of confidence in yourself, akin to saying, “I believe in myself and my right to be standing in front of you at this moment.”
When you thank people. I once observed a senior leader thank her team for their wonderful work while looking down at her notes, making the praise sound insincere and hollow. When you thank people, look at them.
When you ask a question. If you want your audience to answer a question, make eye contact to show that the question is directed toward them.
When you state a main point. Your main points are the essential linchpins in your speech. Tee them up by pausing, making eye contact, speaking the points slowly and clearly, and then pausing again. That delivery brings home your message.
When you make a request. If your speech includes a call to action, make eye contact. Reinforce that personal connection when you ask people to do something.
Where do people tend to look instead?
They look down at their script, at the floor, or—if seated at a conference table—at the center of the table. People also tend to look above the heads of their audience or off to the side. They do this most often when they are thinking, their eyes sliding up and to the side. And while it’s okay to do this every once in a while, remember that when you look away from the audience, you create a barrier. Eye contact reduces that barrier. You can look away to think and gather your thoughts, but come back to the audience to actually speak.
How do you make meaningful eye contact?
My colleague and public speaking expert Trudi Bresner recommends making eye contact with one person while completing a full thought. Then, choose another person to make eye contact with and complete a full thought. Continue throughout the speech. Do you make eye contact with every person? It depends on the size of the audience. Know who the major decision-makers are and look at them when making a key point—but don’t speak only to the decision-makers. As you can imagine, staring at any one person for too long will make them feel uncomfortable. In fact, during our workshops, I might do that on purpose just to make a point. Once the person starts to squirm uncomfortably in his or her chair, I highlight the fact that excessive eye contact can alienate someone in your audience.
Using this method of eye contact forces you to slow down and truly connect with each person. It also helps you calm down and be fully present. If you sweep your eyes back and forth across the room, you absorb too much information and can get overwhelmed by everyone looking at you.
In fact, one challenge when making eye contact is that you are observing your audience as much as they are observing you. You start to pick up on cues. You notice the man sitting right up front is having an intense texting conversation. Or the woman sitting to the side is staring off into the distance. Or someone in the back has his arms crossed with a big frown on his face. We tend to overanalyze these signals.
I remember the first professional speech I ever gave. I was speaking to a youth group in Worcester, Massachusetts, about the Israeli-Palestinian conflict. This was in 2002, during the time of the second Intifada, and I was trying to explain a complicated and constantly evolving crisis that I was still becoming familiar with myself.
There was a man sitting in the back of the room. He was leaning back in his chair with his arms and legs crossed and a huge frown dividing his face. Throughout the speech, my mind kept racing. Why is he frowning? Are my facts accurate? Do I even know what I’m talking about? I’m a fraud! At the end of the speech, the man approached me. My heart started beating loudly and my mouth went dry. I started preparing for the litany of arguments he would use to pick apart my speech. I took a nervous breath, steadied myself, and smiled awkwardly. The man leaned in, and his brow furrowed even more. He took my hand and gave it a strong, powerful handshake. Keeping that same frown, he said to me: “Young lady, that was a fantastic speech!”
A wave of relief washed over me, followed by confusion. I spent the entire speech thinking that this person hated it, and it turns out he loved the speech? I vowed at that moment not to get too carried away in the future by someone’s reaction.
Just as a speaker communicates to the audience through her body language, the audience also communicates with us, whether intentionally or not. Crossed arms could mean the room is cold. A frown could come from a fight he had with his kids that morning. A head buried deep in a cell phone could be avoiding a last-minute press disaster. None of that is your fault—don’t let it distract you from your speech.
What if you really must read from notes? Maybe the speechwriter at your company gave you the remarks at the last minute. Maybe the public affairs team drafted talking points and you need to stick to the script during a crisis. I’ve observed people very effectively read from a script. They pause to raise their eyes up to the audience at the end of a sentence, connecting with one person at a time (I learned that technique from speechwriter Stephen Krupin, w
hom I referenced in Chapter 3). They let their voice and energy convey the same strength and passion as if they were having a conversation. It takes some practice, but you can read effectively and still connect with your audience.
When you’re speaking on the phone, you may think that eye contact doesn’t matter, but be careful. On the phone, you have a tendency to multitask by looking at your emails or phone messages. Believe me, we can sense when someone is distracted when they are speaking to us. When presenting over the phone, either make eye contact with your notes or look at a neutral part of the room so that you can stay focused on the material.
Once you’ve finished writing your speech, stand in front of a mirror. Look back at your reflection and choose three or four items behind you that will serve as people. Take turns speaking to each one of them for a full phrase, then move on to another. Then, gather a few friends or colleagues; give your speech to them and focus solely on eye contact. Look at each person for a full thought, then move on. You’ll start to develop a natural rhythm.
2. BODY LANGUAGE
How do you walk into a room? How do you stand or sit when speaking? Do you throw your shoulders back and stand tall, or do you slouch and fold your arms across your chest protectively? Do you keep your feet firmly planted on the floor, or do you cross one leg over the other? These movements are among the first things people notice about you.
Let’s talk about your smile.
Your smile is one of the most disarming tools you have. You can use it to reduce stress, defuse anger, and provide comfort to your audience. You can use it to show confidence, enthusiasm, and happiness. The act of smiling makes your brain release hormones like dopamine and serotonin, making you feel happier and less stressed.2 I’m not talking about forcing a smile; I’m talking about letting yourself smile.
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