My mouth went dry, and I couldn’t swallow. “It’s not a good idea.”
“I know. I hope you can forgive him.”
“I’m not angry. This is me. All me.”
“Okay. Right. Let’s look at the schedule.”
We went through the planner and picked a spot for me. Darby would suspend me in a network of rope. No sex, just suspension. I was beyond excited.
I met Darby the week before and rehearsed. I loved it, and for a moment, I forgot about the constant needling in my mind. Saturday was going to be amazing.
Waxed within an inch of my life, I got a haircut and light spray tan — I mean let’s be fair, I was putting everything on show and wanted to look good — I arrived for the run-through, excited but a touch nervous.
There were three demos, but Darby’s rope work was a serious draw. I signed the release for the club and another for the photographer coming to document it. People would be able to buy photos of me. Well, of Darby’s art, but I’d be in them.
I hung out in the green room with a couple due to perform later, and it was nice. We chatted and listened to music. Others came and went, the club got going, and at ten, I was called to be ready.
Darby came for me, she wore a plain black vest and leggings with a bright blue scarf winding through her newly braided hair, and a soft smile. “Okay? I’m going to take care of you.”
“I trust you.” I went with her.
Clutching my dressing gown, I followed her to the lounge. Wooden floor, plum walls, with a small central stage. The crowd politely clapped and to be honest, it was a bit weird.
Jane addressed everyone, and I was presented as she took off my gown. Nude, I looked at the crowd and saw Vaughan. I stared at him, and he at me.
He looked sad. Needy. Hungry. I wanted him to come over and scoop me up. Urged onto my knees, Darby made a show of me, but I heard nothing. It was Vaughan and me.
Vivid blue rope set against my skin as she carefully bound my body. Her fingers nimble and deft, she knotted and worked. I relaxed. All thought cleared, and in a strange quiet focus, Vaughan stayed with me. His face softened. Pain and tightness pinched me, and when I was turned, I lost the contact. I struggled for breath when I was hoisted up. I cried out, the exquisite floating pull and burn of the rope, and dangling in a web of safety was a victory.
Turned around, my back arched, legs curled behind me, arms contorted around my back, and everyone saw me. My body. My desire. The shame and revelry I carried within my perversion on display. I was perfection for those people. An object of art born of desire.
My display halted, and Vaughan’s eyes met mine. All discomfort left me. The photographer worked as Darby fixed me into place, creating an intricate design around my body. I knew it was beautiful because she’d shown me the design. Vaughan stayed with me. I felt his touch and warmth with his whispered words keeping me safe. Darby appeared in my view. “Are you okay?”
I leant into her hand on my cheek. A safety check. With a nod, I smiled.
“You’re crying.” She wiped my eyes.
“I’m happy.”
I breathed as much as could and cleared my throat. The photographer worked for a while, the crowd admiring the display, but I couldn’t see Vaughan anymore. He’d gone. I stayed in place, unable to move an inch. I floated, free and greedy for this. A vision of us in flight cut my thoughts. We soared in my binds, expanding outward until we consumed everything.
We were beautiful.
The getting out part wasn’t as much fun. Darby undid every knot and binding as rhythmically as she’d constructed it. She had an assistant help her, and I was unbound with vivid red marks on my skin. I throbbed, my skin pulsed, and I needed. My senses returned and contained in my body again, I was alone.
In the green room, I dressed as the demo couple readied to get out there and I lay on the couch. Darby joined me and changed into a dress.
“How are you?”
“Tired.”
“We can get you a ride home.”
Vaughan left, and I didn’t feel like partying or being hit on by people. “I think that’s a good idea.”
I slipped out through the back, and one of the security team was going to drive me home.
I took a deep breath of cool air, the summer evening damp and dull, and turning, saw him. Vaughan was crying. He wiped his eyes and startled when he saw me. The shock on his face followed by mortification flashed so quick I barely caught it.
He masked his expression, looking for an escape route.
“Hi.”
He slumped against the wall, hands in pockets and head down. “Hey.”
Feeling emptied and relaxed, I managed to face him. “Are you okay?”
“Yeah, fine.” He was a bad liar.
I shifted my weight. “Bollocks.”
He shot me a look.
I stood closer to him. “I’m sorry about what happened between us.”
“So am I. I’m so sorry. I panicked. Once I closed the door I knew I fucked up, but Ariel and all her friends spotted me, and after extracting myself, I couldn’t find you. I’m so sorry.”
“It’s okay. I knew the score. My reaction wasn’t about you. My own issues with who I am are deep-seated. It’d been so long for me, it was hard to reconcile the intensity. Physically and emotionally.”
“I was wrong. It’s my responsibility to care and keep you safe. I didn’t and put you in danger. I’ll never make that mistake again.” He sounded bitter before growing sad. “You’re so beautiful tonight.”
Biting the grin from my lips, I stepped closer, putting my hand on his arm. Tension built, and I wanted him to hold me so much.
The door opened, and the security guard appeared.
“Ready?”
Vaughan moved away. “You should go.”
I turned to them. “Gimmie a sec?”
They winked and moved off.
“I’m glad we talked. Can we start again?” I watched him build up to the no, and before he answered, I stepped back. “Never mind. Sorry.”
I walked away.
THE DRAW
Claire moved out. She and Adam were together all the time, and it made sense.
But we were down a tenant and her presence. We interviewed a few people who were a solid pass, and Poppy said a friend needed a place for a bit, and so her friend from work moved in.
Toby was cute, and Poppy made moon eyes at him when he wasn’t looking, and everything that was going on with her fell into place. It wasn’t going to end well.
I performed with Darby again as it had been a popular event, and Vaughan was in the busy crowd. Affection and sadness stood stark, and I ached.
Darby changed in the green room afterwards as I rubbed arnica into the marks so they wouldn’t bruise.
“Vaughan looks like a lost puppy.”
I paused. “He said no.”
“Huh?” She pulled a face. “Honest to fuck what is with men? Seriously, I do not comprehend cis men with the peen. Why are they like this?”
I sighed, tossing down the ointment. “If I knew that, I’d be rich.”
She laughed. “Let’s go fuck up that mans.”
“Let’s not. I feel bad for him.” I joined her and Althea, and we went into the club.
He hovered near the bar, weaving a little. People spoke to me, but I sidled through the crowds, and went to him, knowing something was wrong.
I touched his arm, and he opened and closed his eyes really slowly before finishing his drink.
“How pissed are you?”
He pointed a finger at me and ummed.
He was adorable.
“You should go home.”
“You. You’re everything I want. Did you know that? Everything. Everything I can’t have. Like, I itch, physically itch for you.” He sighed hard, putting his hand on his chest.
“Come on.” I led him out and through the back. People turned to us, but none of
them mattered.
Cera, my security buddy, called us a cab, and I took Vaughan to his. He weaved, and it was like steering a wayward tank getting him to his front door. He got the giggles as we tried to get the door open. Then he looked at me and cupped my face. “I’d do it differently. I’d keep you upstairs. Then fuck you like you need. How I need.” He put his forehead on mine. “I fucked it up. I hurt you in the worst way.” He made a growly desperate noise through his teeth and stepped away. “But I’ve learnt my lesson. I won’t lay my hands on anyone again.” He crossed his heart, leaning on the front door as it opened.
He grabbed out, catching me, and poor Ariel was thrown over with us landing on top of her in a heap.
After a second of shock, Vaughan started laughing, Ariel moaned and joined him.
I was mortified. She thumped him on the arm as we untangled, and they lay hysterical as I stood up.
“What the fuck.” She held her belly with one hand and wiped her tears with the other.
Vaughan tasted his mouth. “I’ll nap.”
Ariel sat up. “How drunk is he?”
“All of it.”
He started snoring.
“Tea?”
“Oh yes please.” I stepped over him.
She grabbed a scarf, putting it under his head, and we shifted him into the recovery position in case he was sick. We left him there.
She put the kettle on, wearing unicorn pyjamas. Her natural hair was shoulder length and the same colour as her brother’s, except for a blue streak in it. “Can I ask you something?”
“Sure.”
She put out some chocolate biscuits, and we tucked in.
“So, what happened? I mean it was you that he snuck out of the house the other week and he’s been a miserable shit since.”
“You knew?”
“I’m nineteen not nine. I understand.”
I opened my mouth to speak, but she interrupted.
“You think I don’t know. I don’t want to know details because eww, but I know what he’s got in his cupboard. I might be very nosey.”
I pulled my lips into my mouth.
“So, while his sex life is of no interest to me, I do know there are things,” she drew the word out and cleared her throat, “and I’m familiar with some of it.”
“Does he know?”
“Oh god no. He’d die. Or I would.” She shuddered. “He’s under the impression I’m still very young and require packing in cotton wool. I’m transitioning. I have a boyfriend. Sort of. I deal with things most people my age don’t. I’m capable of accepting my brother has a sex life.”
“He wants to protect you.”
“He wants to think I’m a child. Bless him. What happened?”
“It’s difficult to talk about. We want the same thing but getting to it tricky. I’m vulnerable, and so’s he. We have the capacity to hurt each other.”
“Why don’t you date first like other people, and don’t tell me he’s using me as an excuse?”
“He’s your family now.”
“He can date. Good grief. I’m at college. I have a life.” She narrowed her eyes. “Do you care about him?”
“Yes.”
“Right then.”
We hauled him up and got him upstairs, letting him flop down on the bed.
“I’ll leave you to it. Night.”
I pulled his shoes off and tapped his face. “Hey.”
He cracked open an eye. “How are you here?”
“I’m a guardian angel come to care for you. Get your kit off.”
“Only if you stay. Even if it’s just this. Please.”
I helped him undress, and leaving him in his undies, I undressed down to my underwear and curled up behind him. He held my hand to him and fell asleep again.
It didn’t take long to join him.
I woke alone. The spot was cold where he’d been, and I sat up. He was in the chair by the window watching me. He sipped a coffee and pointed to the bedside table. I picked up the mug and shuffled up.
“Why are you in my bed?” His voice was gravelly and grumpy.
“You were shit-faced, and Ariel and I had a little chat when I got you home.”
His eye twitched. “What?”
“She wants you to be happy. She knows about you.”
“You should get dressed,” Vaughan said flatly.
“You should listen to me.”
“After what happened?”
I rubbed my eyes and hoped I didn’t look too rough, straightening my hair. “I wasn’t prepared. There was no build up. I hadn’t eaten. Wasn’t emotionally ready. That’s on me as much you. Shit happens. I know you’re sorry as I am but come on. If you don’t want me, then okay, say that.”
He sipped his drink.
“I can’t stop thinking about you. It would be easier if I didn’t.”
“I need to talk to Ariel.” Putting his cup down, he walked over to me.
“Okay. I’ll get out of your hair then.” I moved to get out of bed.
“Stay.”
I flushed and settled back.
Sipping my coffee and perusing my phone, I listened out for the murmur of voices but heard nothing. I tossed my phone down when Vaughan came back in, and he sat on the bed.
“She likes you.”
“I like her.”
He faced me, severe and gorgeously rumpled. “Good. Then let’s go out for dinner.”
“Wait. A date? Not just play?”
“Not just play.”
“Oh.” My heart pounded in my ears. “That would be nice.” I chewed the inside of my cheek.
“What? We have to communicate properly.”
“I’d like a hug. I just... ever since before, I’ve needed it.”
He grinned, warm and caring, and he carefully set my phone and mug aside, and slid into bed with me, pulling me into his body. Massive arms embraced me, hands rubbed my back, his fingers teasing the strap of my bralet.
He kissed my forehead, beard prickling me, and I started crying, curling as close as I could to him. I wanted to live in that space.
“Shh, it’s all right, it’ll be all right now. My girl, my girl.”
I dozed in his hold, and when I woke, he hadn’t moved.
“Sorry.” I cat stretched in his grasp, but he wouldn’t let me go. “Vaughan,” I mumbled.
“Today. Let’s go out.”
“Okay.” I got out of bed and picked up my dress.
Vaughan got up in a second, pulling me between his legs.
Holding my waist, he squeezed. I arched to the touch.
“I want to know what you can take,” he said against my skin.
I hauled in a breath. He squeezed harder until I tapped his shoulder.
He pressed his face against my stomach. “I want you so much.”
I held his head to me and closed my eyes, but too soon would be a mistake.
“If I start, I will not stop.” His beard tickled me.
“So easy to say please,” I whispered.
He stood, and his deliberate action intimidated me. Mouth hovering near mine, hands squeezing my bottom against him, he pressed his presence to my will. “Even a kiss would set me on fire.”
My lips parted in need of his mouth. I wanted him. For a second I thought he’d kiss me, but instead, his hands palmed my arse, working under my bikinis, pushing them down.
He stepped away, teeth gritted, but a slow smile crept up. “Look at you. More desperate than me.”
My arms hung at my sides with eyes lowered, and knickers around my thighs. Licking his lips, he eased my underwear off and put them in his drawer. “Mine.” He tipped my chin up. “Get dressed, little girl.”
I smirked. “Yes, Daddy.”
The name did something to him, and he growled, yanking my head back, and he took my mouth in desperate want.
Beard scratching, tongue demanding, I sagged in his grip as I tried t
o keep up. My legs went around his waist, and we fell onto the bed, tangled and clawing for each other.
“Fuck.” Vaughan lifted his weight up over me.
Panting, I clung to his forearms. “I should go before we do anything more.”
Pain and frustration played across his face, and he shook before forcing himself up, but he came back and whispered. “If you’re thinking of sating your want with a finger, think again.” He gave me the brow. I opened my legs.
“Fuck’s sake.” He shut the door and stomped downstairs.
Laughing, I squirmed but obeyed and dressed quickly.
I joined him in the kitchen. “See. I obeyed. Was I good?”
He smirked. “We’ll see.”
I bit back my grin, and he took me home. I made sure I flashed him when I got out of his car.
TRY AGAIN
I got home and virtually bounced in. Poppy and Toby were out. I ate, got ready for my date, unsure of how long we’d last before fucking.
He’d not said where he was taking me, but it was warm and humid, so I opted for a long floral summer dress with spaghetti straps and maximum cleavage.
Vaughan blinked at me. You’d think he hadn’t seen me naked by the look of him.
“You should change.”
“Why?”
“It’s... you-”
“Will you not be able to control yourself?”
He stepped close, breath on my lips. “You’ll pay for it.”
“Is that a promise?”
“A mouth like that should be fucked to temper it.”
“Please.”
His eyelids flickered. “We should make a move. Don’t pout. You’ll get what you need.”
I grabbed my bag, and he took my hand. The moisture was oppressive, and the sky dull, and I started sweating immediately.
We went to a lovely country pub. It was a picturesque drive, and the pub overlooked the river.
“The food is meant to be good.” He led me in, and I think he wanted my approval.
“It’s beautiful.”
He grinned, and we sat outside, waiting for a table in the dining section. The water rushed, and ducks meandered along the current.
The Best Friends Anthology (A New City Story Book 5) Page 8