by Ann Jensen
“Let’s get you back to the house, and if you feel you need some more nighttime running, we’ll pick up a pair of shoes that won’t fall off.”
She gave a choked laugh and let him start them back towards Sharp’s house. Neither of them speaking, it was too quiet for her to not get sucked back into her thoughts. She searched her mind for something to talk about.
“I’ve been able to figure out why most of the Brothers were given their road names but I’m curious about yours. Is your name Dragon because of your tattoos or do you have tattoos because of your name?”
In the evening dimness his small smile might have just been a trick of the light. “I have the tattoos because I’ve always had a fascination with dragons.”
“So, you picked your road name?”
“No, but I had the nickname since I was a child. My real name is Gabor.”
“That’s beautiful. What language is it?”
“My mother says we can trace our blood back to ancient Mayan warriors. My name means bravest warrior. But to my sister, I was always Kukulkan.”
Phoebe found herself relaxing, letting herself get lost in the conversation. “What does that mean?”
“There is a legend of a young boy who turned into a feathered serpent one day. His sister didn’t care, she loved him so much she hid him away in a small cave and took care of him. Then one day he grew too big for the cave and had to leave his sister, but every summer he would shake the earth to let her know he was still alive and missed her. The great serpent’s name was Kukulkan.”
“A feathered serpent is a type of dragon?”
“Pretty much.”
“I’m guessing the nickname dragon stuck because she took care of you?”
“No, she said I was always so big and clumsy that any time I came near the whole house would shake.” Phoebe giggled, unable to help herself. What would it have been like to have siblings who teased and loved you no matter what? That kind of family was so foreign to her it was nearly a fantasy. She had seen glimpses of this within the Dark Sons, and maybe even felt that sense of belonging for a moment or two.
“Did seeing how wild our parties are bother you, Pixie?”
A short laugh exploded out of her lungs. She should have known he wouldn’t give up trying to find out why she had run. “You mean the men getting blow jobs that were so bad they could continue to hold conversations? Or the women fucking men like they were one-dollar strippers giving a lap dance at the end of a long shift?”
“Yeah, that.” Dragon’s strangled, embarrassed tone made Phoebe smirk.
“No. They weren’t terribly creative or even enthusiastic. I have seen much worse. I’ve learned if something doesn’t involve me directly, not to let it bother me.”
“I’ll let the Brothers know you think they are boring and unenergetic.”
“Don’t bother. If it makes them happy to have a woman bounce on their lap like a pogo stick, more power to them.”
“If not that, what was it?”
Phoebe tried to imagine what she could say to him without opening herself up to ridicule. “Have you ever had instant chemistry with someone? The kind that overrides logic and consumes every image in your head, making clear thought impossible?”
“Once.” Dragon’s voice was quiet, tinged with sadness.
“What happened?”
“I got deployed. When I got back her phone was disconnected and I couldn’t find her. But that has nothing to do with why you ended up running barefoot through the woods at two in the morning.”
“Right. Well, Sharp does that to me, and I saw and heard something that shut down my clear thought. I won’t do it again. I needed some time to think.”
She could see Dragon’s nod in the dim light, and she breathed a little easier. They walked for a few more minutes in comfortable silence, her mind trying to process all the possible effects what she saw could have on her life. When they were a few yards from Sharp’s house, her subconscious took control of her mouth.
“What’s a House Mouse?” Her question surprised her. Of all the different things she was considering, why had she chosen to ask him about that?
Dragon slowed his pace a bit and turned his head. His sharp features silhouetted against the night sky. “Why do you want to know?”
Phoebe waved a hand trying to brush the whole thing off. “Val explained about Old Ladies, Sweetbutts, Club whores, and stuff; I heard the term and was curious. You don’t have to answer. I can ask her.”
She got the impression Dragon didn’t believe her attempt at nonchalance, but he answered her question. “All those terms can mean slightly different things to different people. House Mouse is another one of those terms.”
He was prevaricating which was annoying. “But what does it mean, generally?”
He looked up at the sky as though searching for inspiration. “A house mouse cooks, cleans, fucks, and basically does whatever a biker wants in return for a place to live and protection.”
That is what she had signed up for but Dragon saying it made it sound lesser somehow then what she had built up in her mind. “I thought that was a sweetbutt.”
“A sweetbutt might help out if asked or if she is hooked up with a specific man but they party with us.” Dragon shrugged. “A house mouse is kept separate; she may be shared between a few Brothers, but she wouldn’t come to the Clubhouse to party.”
Phoebe’s chest tightened. The idea she was to be kept away from the Club parties should comfort her, but instead it hurt. Maybe the bitch at the Clubhouse was more honest than she had guessed. They reached the front porch, but Phoebe wasn’t ready to head in. She sat down on the steps, leaving Dragon plenty of room to join her if he wanted.
He sat next to her, nudging her knee with his. “I think maybe you’re getting too caught up on words, carina. If you call a woman a whore, do you always think she gets paid for sex?”
“Of course not.”
“La misma cosa. Same thing. If you make a woman your Old Lady, she becomes family. But what that means is different to each person.” He stared out toward the distant lights of the Clubhouse. “In my experience, everything the Dark Sons do and are is about respect. Respect is a tricky thing. You can earn it through actions but what is more important is you have to give respect to earn it in return.”
Phoebe smiled and looked down. “That’s deep.”
He ruffled her hair like she was a kid. She should be annoyed by the action, but she secretly liked it.
“Well, this wise old man is going to give you one more thing to think about, then you need to try and sleep.”
A man who looked to be in his late twenties calling himself old amused her. She knew better than most that age wasn’t a matter of how many days one lived, but what those days contained. He turned and looked her straight in the eyes. “Can you respect someone, Pixie, who doesn’t respect themselves?”
His words cut right through the happy front and carefree persona she showed to the world to the black shivering freak underneath. Was her self-loathing so apparent to anyone who saw her? She knew she was undeserving of love, but Dragon’s words gave her an odd sort of hope. She might not be able to be loved, but maybe she could earn respect.
Chapter 17
Assumptions make an ass out of you, not me.
Sharp ached to fall into bed, curled around Pixie, and get a few hours of sleep. The sky was already starting to lighten, and he needed to head into his shop by ten when it opened in case the Feds or Staties showed up with a warrant. Minetti might have said he was going to take care of it, but Sharp couldn’t risk not being there and giving a dirty cop the opportunity to plant evidence. Sharp’s nerves were frayed thin by the tense talks with the National officers, losing his temper with Tina, and planning contingencies in case Minetti failed to produce. Having to eat Caravaggio’s insult had every Brother pissed.
Dragon was sprawled on Sharp’s couch when he walked in. The Prospect’s eyes opened at the sound of the front door closing.<
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“Thanks for watching over her. Puck will switch off with you in the morning.”
Sharp continued towards the stairs, but Dragon’s words pulled him up short. “Hey, VP. You should know there’s a potential minefield up there.”
Sharp ran his hand through his hair, not sure if he could deal with one more thing going wrong. “She pissed I wasn’t home by midnight or some shit?” Pixie had seemed to understand and accept he had to stay for Club business, but women were often touchy when they came in second place to the MC.
Dragon looked surprised. “No. I meant whatever happened between you two at the Clubhouse last night freaked her out.”
“I haven’t seen her since dinner.” Sharp ran a hand through his hair again, tired and not needing one more thing to go wrong. “Wait, she was at the Clubhouse last night?”
“Yeah, she asked to pick up some of her shit from the room she had been staying in. I waited by the door for her and when she came out—well I’ve seen guys shot who looked less wounded.”
“Fuck, what did she see? I was planning on warning her before letting her hang out with us after hours.”
“I thought that too, but apparently she finds the sexual appetites of the Brothers uninspired.” Sharp had to smile at that. His little innocent Pixie had a dirty girl under all that sparkle. “She did ask me what a house mouse was though. Maybe one of the bitches said something to her.”
The blood drained out of Sharp’s face. As far as he knew none of his Brothers kept a house mouse – the term more an insult than anything else – but he had heard Tina use it last night. “What time was this?”
“Around two. That is a quality woman you have upstairs if you are thinking of making her a house mouse then–”
“She is my woman. And she will be my Old Lady. Fuck, what did you tell her a house mouse was?”
“Well I didn’t tell her that it is a bitch not even important enough to meet your Brothers, but with enough skills you keep her locked in your house feeding and fucking her as long as she does whatever you ask.” Dragon raised an eyebrow. “Pretty sure that wouldn’t have been well received. One of the bitches at the Club must have been taunting her.”
With the timing and the questions, Sharp was pretty sure his Pixie had seen his confrontation with Tina. He could imagine how him strangling a woman against a bar must have terrified her. He would like to say he usually had a better temper and the incident was a fluke, but he would be lying. Only his closest friends and family were safe when he lost his shit. Was she upstairs right now, terrified he would hurt her if she said something wrong?
“Tina was playing her usual games last night.”
“Pixie saw you fucking her?”
“No. She said some shit, and I lost my temper.”
“That makes more sense. Well, that should be easier to explain. Women forgive us when we’re stupid, but not if we fuck around.”
Sharp nodded his agreement, lacking the energy to finish the conversation. He walked up the stairs, leaving his Brother to get back to sleep. When he opened the door, the sight of Pixie stopped his heart for a minute.
She was curled up like a naked little kitten on top of the covers, right in the center of his king-sized bed. Her pale skin and golden blonde hair looked ethereal in the dim light coming from the window with the dark blue backdrop of his comforter. She had a pillow balled up against her stomach, hiding her beautiful breasts from his eyes. She looked so utterly at peace. Sharp couldn’t wake her.
He didn’t have the mental or physical energy to reassure her at that moment and figured it would be best if he got at least a few hours’ sleep before trying to explain his actions and make sure she understood he would never hurt her.
Sharp could feel someone watching him as his phone alarm dragged him from sleep. Exhausted, he had chosen to sleep in the guest room rather than risk waking her and having to deal with the fallout from last night. Hopefully, the four hours of sleep he had gotten would be enough because Pixie had apparently chosen to make sure he couldn’t sneak away without talking.
She sat cross-legged on the floor in a stunning mint green sundress that made her look like the embodiment of spring. Her expression was painfully nervous, and she fiddled with the edges of her skirt. Sharp wanted nothing more than to pull her on top of him and have her ride him until her light erased all the dark places in his mind. Unfortunately, stalling would only drag out the pain, but he could delay a bit.
“Not cooking breakfast at the Clubhouse today?”
Pixie looked confused for a moment then shook her head. “It’s nine o’clock. I had breakfast out by seven, and there’s plenty of bread and sandwich fixings ready for lunch. Hawk said I should do dinner Monday through Thursday and that breakfast and lunch would be a waste of time on weekends since the Brothers won’t be awake and there is the family barbeque on Sundays.”
“He’s right.”
An awkward silence fell between them. Sharp thought he should either speak up or get up and get ready for work, but all he could do was stare at her beautiful hair glowing in the morning light.
His woman straightened her shoulders and found the courage he lacked. “Why did you sleep in here last night?”
“I didn’t get in until five, and you were sleeping so peacefully I didn’t want to wake you.”
She nodded as if to herself. Her cute little teeth bit into the corner of her lip, broadcasting that she struggled with uncomfortable thoughts.
“Why were you watching me sleep?” Sharp tried to make his tone teasing, hoping maybe he could undo some of the damage his violent act last night had caused on his delicate girl.
“We need to talk, but I didn’t want to wake you, so I waited.”
The words put a bitter taste in his mouth, even though they were true. Pixie needed to understand while he would talk and try to ease her mind, she was his and that wasn’t going to change. Sharp sat up, the comforter dropping to his waist. He didn’t sleep in clothes unless he had to and the spark of hunger in Pixie’s eyes told him not all was broken by what she had seen last night.
He patted the bed next to him. “If we’re going to talk, sit up here with me.”
She stood, her bare little feet making no noise as she crossed the floor. She perched on the edge of the bed, barely sitting. Sharp tried to run a hand down her arm in a comforting gesture, but she scooted over to avoid the touch.
Fuck, she was terrified of him and, while he understood, it pissed him off. “You don’t have to be scared of me, darlin’. I would never hurt you.”
“I’m not scared.” Her quick breaths and clipped tone told him a different story.
“Then why did you pull away?” He tried to control his anger, but the fact Tina could ruin something so critical with her bullshit infuriated him. The more he went over the previous night, the more he believed she had seen Pixie and set up the whole thing to play some sick game.
“I need to talk to you, ask you some things, but when you touch me I go all fuzzy, and all I want to do is touch you back.”
Her words blunted his anger. He loved knowing he affected her as much as she did him. “You can ask me anything, darlin’.”
He watched the soft green fabric of her dress rise and fall over her beautiful breasts as she took a few deep breaths. “I know you were with another woman last night.” Her words were like ice water on his thoughts. Every one of his muscles tightened in fury. Pixie didn’t notice because she continued. “I would like... if possible... in the future... I would prefer to be present when you are with another woman.” She finally looked at him and read the obvious anger in his glare. “Or not.” Her body shook with fear, and for once Sharp was damn glad for it.
“You know I was with another woman last night?”
She nodded, her eyes glistening with unshed tears. “I wasn’t trying to spy, but I saw you when I was at the Clubhouse.”
“What exactly did you see?”
“Not much. I didn’t want to be in the way an
d I wasn’t sure what you would want, so I left.”
A part of Sharp was relieved she hadn’t seen what followed, but he was angry she believed he would do that to her. It was irrational. There were no promises between them, and only a week of history to go by. But if she felt anything close to what he did, she wouldn’t easily give him up to another woman.
“Do you want me to invite you to watch or do you want to participate?” His voice had gone tight as his feelings ate away at him.
“Whatever you want. I know I’m not enough to keep a man like you satisfied. If that means sharing, then... Okay.”
“A man like me? Does this mean you’ll invite me when you’re with other men?”
“No! I mean I would prefer it if you didn’t share me with other men. I don’t want anyone else.” Her words and the single tear that dripped down her cheek barely softened his rage.
“You prefer. Really? Does the idea of me fucking another woman while you watch turn you on? Should I order her to eat you out while I fuck her until she screams into your pussy?” Sharp had seen a few Brothers take on several women at once, and he had even participated in a few gangbangs, but that wasn’t his thing. He liked fucking in public, watching while women wanted to be his partner and men wanted a piece of the woman he was claiming. He loved rough, wild, out-of-control sex in as many places and positions as he could think up. But the idea of sharing Pixie with another woman or man had red filling his vision.
“If that’s what you want. I’ll do it.”
“I asked if it turned you on?”
“Sure.” Her word was slow and stuttered, the lie obvious.
He grabbed her and dragged her face down over his lap, flipping her skirt up. He took a brief moment to enjoy the fact she had followed his request to go without panties. Then he spread her legs, running two fingers between her folds.
“Just what I thought. You are a little liar. Dry as a desert.”