by Yasmine Nash
“I haven’t yet had the pleasure.”
“No? A ball then? According to my brother, you’ll find no better public ball than the ones thrown in London.”
She shook her head.
“No again! But perhaps you’ve been to a concert?”
“The proprietress of the home where I am staying is rather strict, I’m afraid. She doesn’t believe in allowing indulgences like going out after dark.” A small smile at this. “I confess though, I would like to attend a concert. I do so love music. Mrs. Godersham arranges for regular outings for all the girls. So perhaps if I’m lucky, a concert will be next on our list. Although our last outing was to an evening party with a friend of hers, so I don’t believe I should raise my hopes too high,” she added wryly.
A few more beats passed in peaceful silence. “How did you fair with your purchase from Harmon’s the other day?” Henry asked.
“Oh I adored it!” she said, eyes sparkling. “I have so few books accessible to me here that reading anything new would have been a pleasure, but Wordsworth was everything I could wish for. But you have me at a disadvantage, Mr. Northam, for I don’t know what books you read.”
“I was at the shop picking up a legal text. My brother and parents think I am strange for taking enjoyment in learning about the law in my spare hours. I am fortunate enough to have no need to be more than a preening gentleman, so any pretense toward studying the law is highly looked down upon in my family.” Although he smiled as he spoke, Alexandra sensed some tenderness about the subject.
“Is this a hobby or do you intend to make a career in law?”
Henry cleared his throat. “I’ve been apprenticing with the Inn of Courts. Should all go well, I’ll be accepted as a full barrister within a year.” He looked highly self-conscious as he spoke and Alexa determined not to pry further.
She contented herself by saying, “I believe anyone, gentleman or no, who has a desire for learning cannot do wrong in indulging that.” Henry smiled at her comment. “However, there are certain books I think I may never go out of my way to read again. My proprietress, Mrs. Godersham, is especially fond of Fordyce’s Sermons. There are some, I suppose, who would judge me for not caring for it,” she added, wondering if he were one of them.
He had paused and instead of responding, he was piercing her with that steadfast stare. “Pardon me, Miss Morland, but I believe you have an insect in your hair. May I?”
She gulped and nodded. First her nonsensical babbling, now her hair a mess. He was sure to think her the oddest, most unladylike person after this. Henry had to stand very close to reach the bug, and she inhaled a breath of clean leather and another warm scent she could not place. She decided she liked the smell very much, whatever it was. They were not touching and yet her skin tingled from the nearness. Henry reached out his thumb and forefinger and delicately plucked a ladybug from amidst her curls.
“There,” he declared, stepping back and then leaning down to place the ladybug on a blade of grass. “Now you’re both safe from each other. You from the bug, and she from any danger of accidentally becoming crushed should you decide to take another nap.”
Alexandra couldn’t help but laugh. “It seems I am in your debt once again.” She glanced around and saw they had already completed their turn about the park and arrived back where they had begun. Charlotte was still absent.
Henry escorted her back to her former spot. “Thank you for the pleasure of your company, Miss Morland. I believe I’ve taken up enough of your time for one day. Perhaps we’ll chance to meet again.” He tipped his hat, then turned and walked away. She settled back onto her blanket, watching him go.
Charlotte returned several minutes afterward, looking slightly out of sorts. “My apologies for the delay. I ran into an old acquaintance of mine and I lost track of the time as we reminisced. But at least I succeeded in my mission. The girls have been sorted out.”
“Not to worry. I only returned from a stroll around myself. But your bonnet is askew.” Alexandra moved to set it right.
Charlotte smiled wryly. “It must have occurred when I was hurrying after Mary and Helen. My father owned a pair of dogs when I was younger and they were less wild than those two.”
Chapter 7
When Alexandra returned from her afternoon constitutional a few days later, it was to find a surprise awaiting her. The servant stopped her to inform her a gentleman had dropped by while she was out. He hadn’t given his name, but he had left a book. Charlotte glanced at her in question, but Alexa pretended not to notice. She took the book up to her room immediately to examine it.
A new book of poems, this time by a poet whose name she didn’t recognize. Inserted on a paper right underneath the cover was a hastily written note.
Perhaps you’ll enjoy this more than Fordyce’s Sermons?
-H. N.
She smiled, running her fingers lightly over the words before she opened the first page and began reading.
She was still reading a few hours later when she was drawn from her focus by loud chattering coming from the hall. Alexandra went down to the drawing room to investigate. Mary and Helen were so excited, it took several moments before she could make any sense of what was happening. Eventually, she was able to glean that Mrs. Godersham had announced their upcoming evening outing would be to attend a public ball at the assembly rooms.
“I shall expect upright behavior from each and every one of you,” Mrs. Godersham said sternly, looking at each woman in turn. “When you live under my roof, you’re under my charge, and I won’t tolerate any nonsense.”
Helen was too engrossed in planning her wardrobe with Mary to roll her eyes at this comment, as she usually would have done.
Even Charlotte was excited. “Surely this is as good an excuse as any to purchase a new gown?” she whispered. Alexandra thought of her diminished wardrobe. She hadn’t brought anything fine enough with her from Peverton. She supposed she would have to break her rule and purchase a new dress if she didn’t want to completely shame herself in front of London society.
She was in the tailor’s shop examining fabrics with Charlotte the very next morning when the bell above the door sounded. She looked up and exclaimed in surprise, “Mr. Northam!”
He looked just as surprised to see her. “Buying a new gown, Miss Morland?” he asked, making his way straight to her. The familiarity of his action, as though his body had automatically moved in her direction, made her heart thump in her chest.
She explained to him that they were to attend the public ball.
“How fortunate that your Mrs. G is being so generous. Then I shall be sure to be in attendance as well,” he declared with his usual slight smile. “And if I may, I would request the pleasure of the first two dances? It may be the only chance I have to dance with you, if your proprietress is as strict as you say.”
“I would like that very much,” Alexa returned softly. The two spent a moment staring at the other before a cough from Charlotte made Henry turn in her direction and introduce himself.
Henry added, “I’m here on an errand for my younger brother, but it is of no urgency. May I be of service to either of you?”
“As a matter of fact,” Charlotte said, “Alexa and I were just trying to choose which fabric we preferred for her new gown. We cannot decide between the green and the blue. Which do you prefer?” she asked, seemingly without guile.
He took his task seriously, rubbing each fabric between his thumb and forefinger. He then gazed openly at her face, making Alexandra blush, before he declared. “Both would be lovely, but the blue suits Miss Morland best.”
“Then it’s settled,” Charlotte said.
Henry waited with them while they made their orders with the seamstress, then walked the both of them home. Charlotte scampered ahead, claiming she needed to speak with Mary, while Alexa lingered in front of the door. After she and Henry had conversed for a few minutes and she felt she could no longer justify remaining outside, she bid him farewell.
; “Until next week,” Henry murmured, helping her up the front stairs. She had never needed help walking up the stairs before, but, with Henry’s firm grasp on her arm, she found she did not mind the assistance.
“Until next week,” she rejoined. Then with a last glance over her shoulder, she turned around and went indoors.
* * *
The necessity of the purchase had made Alexandra feel less guilty about the expenditure, but she refused to purchase new slippers or gloves. She used her spare afternoons sewing a new reticule by hand to match her gown. When it arrived from the tailor several days later, she stared at it in wonder: a beautiful, yet simple, design made from a layer of deep blue organza over a layer of silk, so the two fabrics shifted in the light together. Like all the latest fashions, it featured short puffed sleeves and a revealing neckline.
She and Charlotte got ready together the night of the ball. Alexa’s new gown was becoming against her olive skin. Charlotte was very prettily made up as well, in pale pink which played against the natural pink of her cheeks. The two friends dressed each other’s hair for the occasion. Charlotte strung a string of her own pearls through Alexandra’s hair, while her own was accented by a large white feather.
The ballroom, when their party entered it later that evening, was larger and more crowded than anything Alexandra had experienced. Public balls in Crosby were only attended by the neighboring families, forty of them at the most. Here, hundreds, perhaps thousands, of strangers whirled around her in a dazzling blend of noise and color. She followed Mrs. Godersham as the larger woman parted the crowd, making her way to the dance floor. Mary tripped twice along the way because she was so busy staring around her in openmouthed awe.
They had only been standing a few minutes before Henry found her. He made merry conversation with their party, politely ignoring the wide-eyed stares and loud whispers of Mary and Helen, until the band struck up the first notes that indicated dancing would soon begin.
Henry led Alexa onto the floor. “You look very pretty this evening, Miss Morland,” he said in a low voice, and she smiled her thanks. His eyes drifted from the pearls in her hair to her bosom in the low cut of her gown and lingered there for a moment before he seemed to catch himself and raise his eyes, flustered. She felt a blush rise to her face—she always seemed to be blushing in front of Henry!—but she determined to return his previous compliment.
“You look very fine as well,” she said.
Henry seemed surprised. “Do I?” he chuckled. “I shall have to let George know, for he was criticizing my looks before I came out.” He soon turned serious again. “But I thank you.”
The first two dances were energetic and did not leave much opportunity for conversation. Henry was an excellent dancer, Alexa soon learned. Intermittently she would catch his eye and they would grin at each other. After their dances were finished, he asked Charlotte and then Helen, Mary, and Althea. Althea, who had spent most of the evening sitting by Mrs. Godersham’s side, seemed surprised to be asked and looked almost close to saying no before she allowed herself to be led onto the floor.
“He’s very friendly, isn’t he?” Charlotte remarked with her eyebrow cocked. Alexa just smiled and hummed along to the music. She had spent the past few dances with friends of Mrs. Godersham: one an older, portly fellow named Cogsworth who could barely keep up with the music and another a young, balding man who moved briskly but with no grace. She wasn’t sorry to leave each of them at the end of their dances.
Dancing broke at 10 for tea and refreshments, whereupon all those gathered retired upstairs to attempt to find themselves a seat at the long tables. Henry remained with Alexa and the others long enough to attend them all to their seats, but he then excused himself to return to his own party. To Alexandra’s dismay, the balding man and the portly man were awaiting them at the table, and she and the others had to suffer through their dreary conversation. Luckily, the din was so loud it was easy to feign unhearing. She had a suspicion Mrs. Godersham thought either of these men would be a fine match for one of her boarders, but all the other girls looked just as disinterested as she felt. Even Althea had a frown on her face.
The crowd was so packed that she and Charlotte were separated on their way back down to resume dancing after taking refreshments. It took her several minutes of wading through the crowd until she spotted her friend again, dancing merrily with a blond man Alexandra didn’t know. And there, next to them, was Henry dancing with a beautiful auburn-haired woman. She felt a silly pang of jealousy run through her. Henry wasn’t hers, and besides, it wasn’t as though he could dance every dance with her.
She wasn’t alone long though, for another gentleman asked her to dance. Alexa said yes without thinking and she soon found herself dancing again as well. The gentleman tried to make conversation and she responded in kind, but her eyes kept going back to Henry and his partner in spite of herself. They were very graceful together, but they weren’t talking much, and Henry, who she knew by now to have a happy sense of humor, seemed to have only an artificial smile plastered on her face. That observation made her feel much better and she returned her partner’s attentions much more cheerfully for the second half of the dance than she had in the first.
Sometime later, she was standing alone against the wall with a drink in her hand, admiring the serpentine form of the dancers, her finger tapping to the beat of the music. She had lost sight of Charlotte again, but she was content right now to just drink in the sights and sounds.
Henry appeared in front of her with a broad smile. “I have been looking for you,” he declared. “Might I trouble you for another dance?”
Alexandra downed her drink and placed it in the hands of a passing servant. “You may,” she said, her voice husky from shouting to be heard above the din. She placed her gloved hand in his and he led her once more to the dance floor. This time, however, the tune the band struck up was much slower. As the refrains of “Michael Turner’s Waltz” started through the air, Henry led Alexa through the motions of the dance, gently drawing her to him, then pushing her back again. Their faces were mere inches apart. His hand brushed against the side of her waist as he spun her in a half-circle. Everything else seemed to blur apart from the two of them and the feel of his hands on her body. Wherever his hand touched left imprints of heat. Her fingers, her waist, her arm, all burned. She couldn’t tear her eyes from his, and he seemed to feel the same pull. As he spun her once more, she had the wild thought that she wished he would embrace her, that he would place that heat on the more intimate parts of her body as well.
She was completely flushed by the time the song had completed. As Henry escorted her away from the dancing, she stumbled a little, falling into him. He steadied her, hands lingering on her shoulders longer than necessary before he let her go.
“Do you feel unwell?” he asked with concern.
“A little faint, that is all. The crowd, I suppose,” she dissembled. “Some fresh air and I shall be fine,” she assured him.
Henry took a good grasp on her arm before leading her to the back of the ballroom. There was a doorway she hadn’t noticed before which led to a well-lit garden. A few couples were sitting in the chairs which had been arranged out there, taking advantage of the cool night air.
Alexa took several big gulps of the fresh air, hoping it would help clear her head. Lately, it seemed to always go fuzzy whenever Henry was around. They walked to a semi-secluded bench, which was partially hidden from view by a large tree.
“I’ll fetch you some water,” Henry said as soon as Alexandra was seated. She assured him that wasn’t necessary, so he sat next to her on the bench instead, his leg brushing up against the edge of her own. The sensation sent her nerves scrambling, and she once again felt as warm as she had inside, fresh breeze or no.
She stared nervously at her hands for a few minutes, but she felt his eyes upon her all the while. Once she had regained her courage, she lifted her head to meet his gaze.
“You’re staring at
me,” she whispered softly.
He smiled and the corners of his eyes crinkled. How she loved his smile! “I find it difficult not to,” he admitted. “If I’m not allowed to touch you, then I must at least stare at you instead.” His face was very close to hers now.
“Who says you are not allowed to touch me?” she asked breathily. She wouldn’t have known he had even heard her but for the slight shudder she saw run through his body.
“Polite society?” he offered, his head moving achingly closer to her own in defiance of his own words. “The rules of decorum?” There was only an inch or two between them. Henry gently took her right hand and removed her glove, grasping her fingers within his own. The shock of their bare skin touching almost made her draw her hand back. Almost.
With his other hand, he then lifted his fingers to touch gently at one of her curls which had come loose during the dancing. She felt as though her heart were going to explode underneath her corset. Her eyes fluttered closed at the light sensation of him touching her hair. She felt the warmth of his breath on her face as he touched his forehead to her own and she again smelled leather and mint. Her breaths were coming very fast now.
“Miss Morland!” She heard her name being called in the distance and her eyes jolted open with a shock. She looked around, but there was no one within sight. Henry looked at her questioningly.
“I believe my party is looking for me,” she said reluctantly, but she made no move to stand up.
“Then duty calls,” he said, looking as reluctant as she felt. But he stood up and offered her his arm, escorting her back inside.
“Perhaps it would be best if you left me here,” she said once they had passed through the doors. “So no awkward questions might arise about my…absence.” And if he left her alone, that would give her a moment to compose herself before facing her friends.
“I would rather stay, but if you wish it, I’ll leave you for now. But know I won’t be able to tear my eyes from your side for the rest of the evening.” He bowed, lingering over her hand, then he watched her as she walked away, smoothing her hands across her dress as she went.