by Yasmine Nash
At the thought, a great reluctance seized him. There was only one thing holding him back. Henry wanted to see Alexandra one last time. He didn’t have to speak with her. He would be satisfied merely by glimpsing her from afar. Then he could put her from his mind for good.
Henry took some time to change into a fresh set of clothes, then he set off on foot for the Morland residence on Grosvenor Street, not quite knowing what he would do once he got there. He had never been, but Charles had mentioned it once in an offhanded way.
The pale dawn light had transformed into strong mid-morning sun as Henry walked. The trees he passed all seemed to have hopeful green buds on their gray branches. Somehow spring had arrived without Henry realizing.
His steps slowed as he neared Alexa’s home. He felt more foolish the closer he got. What would she think if she saw him out here?
All such thoughts soon fled his mind at the sounds of a commotion occurring inside the home. Henry’s ears distinctly picked up the sound of Alexa’s raised voice and then shattering glass. Forgetting all propriety, he rushed inside without bothering to knock on the door.
* * *
Henry stopped at the doorway to the parlor for a moment to take the scene in. Edmund Morland had Alexandra pushed against the wall and was yelling at her while she was trying to push him away.
Henry rushed forward, horrified. “Take your hands off her,” he snarled. Edmund’s hands dropped from where they gripped Alexa’s shoulders at once. Even Edmund seemed surprised by what he had done, and he was gazing around the room with confusion. Alexa stumbled away from her cousin at once, toward where Henry stood menacingly in the middle of the room.
He stopped staring daggers at Edmund for long enough to turn to Alexa. He moved his hands as though to grab for her, but he stopped himself. “Are you all right?” he asked urgently instead. “Did he hurt you?”
“Yes. I mean no. I mean…I’m fine. Thank you,” she said in a whisper, wincing as she rubbed at the spot her Edmund’s fingers had dug into her skin. There would surely be a bruise there. She wouldn’t be able to wear low-cut gowns for weeks without covering her neck with a fichu.
At her expression of pain, Henry’s anger returned tenfold. He strode forward, taking up Edmund by the lapels and lifting the shorter man to look him in the eyes. “Give me one good reason I shouldn’t box your brains out right here,” he growled. Edmund cowered, averting his eyes. Henry had several inches in height on him and a good deal more muscle. “Only the basest, most vile coward lays his hands on a woman. Is this how you treat your intended? You sniveling, slimy excuse for a man.”
“Henry, please. Wait,” Alexandra begged. He began to object, but she interrupted him. “I don’t want you to get into trouble over me, arrested or hurt. Besides, Edmund may be a weasel and coward, but he’s also my cousin. I cannot care for him as I did when we were children, but for the memory of the closeness we used to have, I can’t watch you hurt him.”
“If you don’t want to see, then go outside,” Henry suggested in a growl, eyes still fixed on Edmund, who was gazing tremulously at the ground while this conversation occurred around him.
“Please,” Alexa said again. Sure, Henry had more social status than Edmund and likely wouldn’t be in any lasting trouble. But a fight involving Sir Eliot Northam’s eldest son was sure to cause a scandal and set the gossips’ tongues wagging for months. She didn’t want to put him through that.
Henry released Edmund and walked backward a few steps. Alexa breathed a sigh of relief, thinking the drama had finally calmed down.
Then Henry spun on his heel and punched Edmund once, very hard, in the stomach. The other man curled over, gasping. “This is me being gentle on you,” Henry said harshly, shoving Edmund onto one of the sofas before the other had recovered his breath. “For her sake, I will do no more injury to your person. But if I find that you’ve mislaid hands upon Alexandra ever again, I will not be so lenient. No matter how much she pleads on your behalf. Is that understood?” Edmund nodded weakly.
Once Henry was sure Edmund had no intention of moving from where he lay, he gently led Alexandra out into the main hallway. “You shouldn’t stay here,” Henry told her in a low voice. “Is there somewhere you can go? Mrs. Godersham’s perhaps?”
She shook her head fiercely. She was not up to the task of seeing the other tenants, not even Charlotte. Her friend knew her too well to see through her dissembling, and even the others were sure to notice the giant bruise already blooming on her shoulders and neck.
“At least allow me to take you to my lodgings until you’ve had a chance to refresh yourself,” Henry insisted. “We can discuss your options from there. I don’t want to leave you alone here with him.”
Alexa allowed that this was probably the best idea they could come up with, at least until she could gather the strength to return to Mrs. Godersham’s. She went upstairs to gather her pound notes and a few other personal items she could fit in her reticule. She would return for the gowns and larger personal effects later.
The ride in Henry’s carriage from Grosvenor’s Street to Park Lane, where Henry lived, was not long. “I am alone in the house except for the servants,” Henry assured her. “There will be no one to disturb you with inconvenient questions. My brother left for Derbyshire with friends some weeks past,” Henry added with a small smile. “George heard there was an exceptionally skilled tailor there and became determined to have the man make him up a new wardrobe.”
Henry was silent a few moments longer, then he went on. “In truth, I had no reason not to accompany him. There has been no business holding me in London. I made excuses for myself, of course, but the real reason I’ve remained so long was because I wished to be near you. Even when we weren’t speaking, the thought of being in the same town as you gave me a great sense of comfort.” He spoke matter-of-factly, without seeming to expect a response.
Alexandra was still processing these words when the carriage came to a halt before a stately three-story building which must have been his home.
Once inside, Henry took her to a cozy little room, buzzing around until he was certain she was comfortably seated. He helped her out of her pelisse, then spun to face her. “Now tell me truly, are you really all right? Will you not let me call for a doctor?”
Alexandra laughed a little at that. “Really, I’m fine. A little shaken. A little spotted,” she said ruefully, hand moving absentmindedly to her bruises. “But fine. Now I want to know what brought you to Edmund’s in the first place? Your timing was impeccable.”
Henry avoided her eyes. ” I had a feeling come over me that I needed to see you. Perhaps this was why.” Her heart warmed at the words. “We both had unexpected visitors this morning,” Henry added. “My father had some very specific advice he wanted to share with me. Strange, isn’t it, that this should all happen on the same day?”
Alexandra had never met Sir Elliot, but the details she had heard Henry let slip of him in the past hadn’t endeared the man to her. “And what did he say?”
Henry’s smile was bitter. “The usual. I’m still a disappointment to my family.” The vulnerable look in Henry’s eyes made her want to march over to his parents’ estate and box Sir Elliot Northam round the ears herself. Alexandra had to physically restrain herself from reaching up to stroke Henry’s face by clasping her hands in her lap.
“You’ll find a way to continue with the law somehow, Henry,” she said fiercely. “With or without your father’s interference. I just know it. Anyone with half a brain who’s heard you speak on the subject knows how passionate you are about it.”
The smile on his face was genuine now. “You always did encourage me. But it’s no matter. A trivial problem. A more pressing concern for me at the moment is finding us both some tea.” And Henry went over to ring the bell for the servants.
Chapter 24
After several strong cups of tea and cold sandwiches, Alexa was feeling much better than she had all day. She was finally feeling as th
ough she could relax.
Now that the action was over and her shock from earlier had settled, something Henry had said to Edmund resonated in her mind. Is this how you treat your intended? But he couldn’t possibly be under the assumption that she and Edmund were engaged, could he?
It seemed as though Henry were reading her mind. “I know I’m hardly an impartial observer,” he began delicately, “but even a fool could see he is no good for you. You deserve better. Far better.”
Alexandra’s cheeks flushed and her mind raced. She took several slow breaths to steady her thoughts before responding. “You hardly need experience any worry on that account. There is no arrangement between Edmund and me.”
Henry froze. “Do you mean to say you’re not promised to your cousin Edmund?”
“Engaged to Edmund? Absolutely not!” she glanced down awkwardly. “I won’t deny that he asked me to marry, over a year ago, before I moved to London. But I refused him. I could not marry him because I do not love him. There has never been anything between us beyond the bonds of kinship. Nothing more.”
“Then what he told me that evening at the card table—what he’s been gloating over me every chance he has ever since is false?” Henry groaned, putting his head in his heads. “Alexa, I have been a fool. All this time….I thought—”
“You thought I was engaged to Edmund while I was becoming acquainted with you.” As she said the words, everything fell into place. “No wonder you bore such resentment toward me.” But then that meant Edmund hadn’t told Henry her real secret, about her birth. Right? “Why would Edmund tell you such a falsehood?”
“Perhaps he loves you himself. Perhaps he dislikes me. Perhaps he’s merely an insufferable ass. It’s impossible to say.” Henry stood and began to pace furiously. “I’ve ruined everything.”
“Don’t say that,” she said, placing her hand on his to stop his movement. Henry’s palm opened and his thumb began to stroke her fingers. Lifting her hand to his mouth, he kissed it reverently.
“My feelings for you haven’t changed,” Henry said. “If anything, these past months have shown me how miserable my life has become without you in it. Please tell me I’m not too late.”
When Henry learned the real truth about her, she might have to suffer his rejection all over again. But still, she couldn’t bring herself to mention it right now. She was too busy holding back the tears of joy that threatened to topple down her cheeks.
Instead of answering, she stepped to him and placed her lips on his. “You’re not too late,” she whispered. Henry shivered at the contact. His arms wrapped around her shoulders, enveloping her small body in his. They remained in that embrace a long while, both content to bask in their new understanding. Eventually, Henry disengaged himself.
“It is late and you’re exhausted. I can feel your trembling. Stay here tonight—in the guest room, of course,” he added awkwardly. “Otherwise you might encounter Edmund again if you returned to Mariah’s.”
Henry was all solicitude for the rest of the evening. He escorted Alexa to the guest room, asked the maid to bring her a hot bath, spare nightclothes, and anything else she might require, then he kissed Alexandra gently on the crown of her head.
“Good night,” he said.
“Good night,” she whispered.
* * *
Alexa settled into bed after her bath, but sleep proved elusive. All the events of that day seemed determined to replay through her mind until she rubbed her hands over her eyes in an attempt to block the images out. For everything that he had done, she had never imagined Edmund capable of physically hurting her until today. It made her grieve for the friends they had once been as children.
And then there was the matter of Henry. They had resolved one misunderstanding, but she was still keeping something from him. He still didn’t know the real reason she had refused him in the first place. She would tell him on the morrow, she decided. She must, come what may. But although she had made up her mind, Alexandra still couldn’t sleep, imagining his response. She was sick to death of secrets.
She pictured Henry in his own room down the hall. So close. And there was no one around to know if she crept over to speak with him, no one to accuse her of being improper.
I’ll just see if he’s awake. If he is, I’ll tell him and be done with it. With that resolved, she rose from the bed, put on a dressing gown and slippers, and poked her head into the hallway. The light was still coming in from under the cracks of a room that must be Henry’s. She crept over to it, then rapped ever-so-gently on the door with her knuckles.
It opened instantly. His face registered a combination of surprise and concern when he saw her. “Alexa, are you all right? Are you in pain?”
She shook her head. “None of that. I just needed to tell you something. I’m sure you think I’m foolish for not waiting until morning,” she faltered.
“Not at all.” Henry was still looking worried. He stepped to the side so Alexandra could enter the room. It was quite large, with a sizable bed off to the side that she was determined not to look at, and a writing desk, bookshelf, and chair on the side nearest the door.
“Sometimes I like to study before I go to sleep,” Henry explained of the setup. His hair looked ruffled, and although he was still in his evening clothes, he had removed his waistcoat and cravat. He indicated that she should take a seat on the chair, but Alexandra shook her head and began pacing instead.
“There is something I need to say. You were wrong about Edmund, but you were correct that I was hiding something from you, Henry. You were right to distrust me.”
He was watching her with a frown. “What are you saying? Are you engaged to someone else?”
“If only it were as simple as that,” she said wringing her hands. “I don’t even know where to begin.” Alexandra took a deep breath. “There is a great scandal associated with my family and I am tainted by it. Edmund has covered it up so far, but if he wanted, he could easily ruin me. That is why I refused your offer of marriage, dearest Henry. Never because I didn’t love you,” she said pleadingly.
“Ah,” he said finally. “I have been wondering whether there might be some other motivation to your rejection of me. So what is this scandal?”
Alexa fixed her eyes on the floor, afraid to see the change that was sure to come over Henry’s expression when she told him the truth. “My mother was married to Richard Morland, but he is not my father by blood. He was cuckolded. I am the natural daughter of a man I’ve never met. My true father could be a lowborn criminal, for all I know of him. So you see,” she said with a hollow laugh, “I’m not exactly wife material. Your family could never approve of me. Your friends would ridicule you if they knew.”
Several beats of silence passed. Then Henry said, “And so what if they did? So what if the whole world knew? I’ve been of age a while now and have wealth of my own. I don’t need my parents’ inheritance. I don’t need fickle friends.”
She looked up incredulously. “Henry, you can’t be serious. Edmund has more motive for cruelty now than ever. He may decide to reveal me just to get revenge on you.”
Henry gathered her hands in his own. “I am being serious. I don’t need anyone or anything except for you. These past months without you have been an agony. I don’t want to repeat that ever again, and I’m willing to bear any cost to have you by my side. I love you, Alexa.”
Her heart sang with joy at his words, but she tried one more time to dissuade him. “My mother was a sinner. I am her daughter. It’s in my blood.”
Henry leaned closer. “Well then if you must sin, let it be with me,” He murmured against her mouth. The kiss started off gentle at first, full of questions. Alexandra parted her lips and let his tongue in to explore her. Henry’s hands wandered from her face down her neck. He spent a few moments gently stroking the bruises that had bloomed there before his hands continued their way to her waist. Alexa felt the burning heat of his palms through the thin cotton layer of her nightgown. His han
ds strayed lower to the hem of her garment, slowing raising it with a single finger while the other hand made contact with her skin.
Her hands began an exploration of their own, starting at the nape of Henry’s neck, burrowing in the soft hairs there. Her fingers ran up and down his well-defined shoulders, something she had longed to do for ages. Alexandra tugged his shirt off impatiently, then ran her hands up and down his muscled chest in awe. He was the first man she had seen shirtless. In response, Henry kissed her with even greater urgency.
Moaning, she directed Henry over to the bed, where he toppled onto his back. They both giggled breathlessly, until he hoisted her onto the bed next to him, then spun over and pinned her hips between his knees. Alexa reached upward, eager to kiss him once more. “You’re like a vision,” Henry said in awe.
His hands resumed their progress underneath her nightgown, one stroking circles around her breast while the other teased its way to the spot between her thighs. She had never been touched like this before. Soft gasps and moans emanated from her as she began writhing underneath him. She arched upward from the bed as his finger hit a particularly sensitive place. Henry kissed her more fiercely.
When Alexa was ready, he entered her. She was drowning in him.
No, she was floating.
No, she was on fire.
She was all of it at once.
* * *
Alexandra woke the next morning feeling more relaxed than she could ever remember feeling in her life. Henry was still asleep next to her, his arms around her. She took the opportunity to stare at him, reveling in the way his eyelashes crested over his cheeks, the straight plain of his nose, that delightful mouth. She couldn’t resist. Alexa angled her head and kissed him on the lips. He began stirring, deepening the kiss before pulling back and opening his eyes.
“Good morning,” Henry whispered with a wicked smile, wrapping her more securely in his arms. She responded by nipping him lightly on the ear. Her mind was full of images from the night before and she was already wondering when they would be able to recreate that. She ran her finger up and down his chest.