by Sandra Lang
“Okay,” I say and sit down beside the wolf who looks at the two people behind me strangely.
My parents exchange glances and an unknown conversation passes between them.
“Akari, I know this is shocking news,” says Mother kneeling down next me.
“It really is not. Who Tarok chooses to bind himself to is his business. It is not my place to question.”
“I know you were fond of him and I know you hoped that he would ask you to be his bond-mate.”
“Mother, please. I am fine with this. It makes everything very easy for me, okay?”
They look at me and at each other. “With Tala’s binding ceremony coming up, I know this may be difficult for you.”
“Wise Women are not meant to be part of the tribe. We have our duty to the tribe, but they have no duty to us. This makes my duty easier to follow through.”
My father sighs. “If it will make you feel better, the wolf can stay inside.”
“She will be fine outside. I am sure she would prefer it that way.”
They nod and head into the hut. I stay outside beside the wolf and swing my legs. Granny walks out as the stars begin to shine high in the sky.
“Lovely night, is it not?” she says sitting down beside me.
“As beautiful as ever.”
“Who is this?”
“This is Nura,” I say patting the wolf’s head.
“I take if you have gotten the news?”
“I am sure the southern tribes have heard the news by now.”
“There are many other eligible men within the village, young one. You do not have to shut yourself off because the one you want is already taken.”
“You and I both know that things are not always as simple as they are supposed to be.”
“For what it is worth, I never approved of the choice the other Matrons made.”
“I know, Granny. I do not see how you could.”
She puts her arm around me and holds me close. “You can stop pretending that everything is all right. No one will think any less of you for feeling.”
“I am feeling just fine, Granny. Please do not worry about me.”
We sit for a few moments more before she goes into her own hut. I sigh heavily and look up at the sky above. The stars shine brightly and rival the full moon for providing light to all of us down below. I pat Nura on the head and bid her good-night. I step into the hut, change from my day clothes to my night clothes before settling down into my bed.
It is all for the best, I tell myself. I do not really believe it as tears begin rolling down my cheeks. I repeat the phrase over and over in an attempt to cry out all the sorrow I feel. I pull my legs into my chest so I can imagine that my little ball is impenetrable to the world around me. I imagine how things are supposed to be; how things should have gone if the fates did not despise me so.
In the middle of the night I am woken by the sound of an animal whining. It takes me a minute to realize that the animal is Nura outside the hut. I get up, shrug my jacket over my clothes and step into my boots.
As I pass my father on his shared sleeping platform, he says, “This had better not become a habit of hers, Akari.”
“I promise it will not.” I cannot truly promise such a thing as I have no control over another being, but I will try.
Outside I see her sitting up, holding her broken front leg gingerly. She looks at me with her large brown eyes.
“I suppose you want down, huh?” I say, jumping off the platform.
I pick her up and set her down on the ground beside me. We walk along the edge of the forest and over to the river. Nura is a fine companion. She walks close to my leg, occasionally bumping into me.
“You are not really a wild wolf, are you?”
She looks up at me and cocks her head to the side.
“You were probably kicked out of your pack for being too docile. Well, my friend, you picked a wonderful time to get hurt and found. Maybe the fates care for me after all.”
We stop at the river so she can get a drink. I stare up at the moon in her full beauty. “Is everything going to plan?” I ask the silent sky above me.
Twigs break behind us. Nura’s hackles rise up and she growls lowly. I turn to the noise and step back beside Nura. Despite her injury, I am sure she could protect me far better than I could protect her. Even so, I lean down to pick up a discarded stick and hold it at the ready.
The breaking of twigs and rustling of leaves gets closer and closer until the noise maker walks out of the forest. Tarok stops and looks at the growling wolf and me right beside her.
“You do know that is a wolf, right?” he calls out. I can see the thoughts running through his head about how to save me.
“Yes, I am well aware of that. Thank you.” I lower the stick and put my free hand onto Nura’s shoulders. Nura sits awkwardly before lying down at my feet.
“You have made friends with a wolf?” He walks up closer, still keeping a wary eye on Nura.
“She was injured and I am taking care of her.”
“I did not think you could replace me that quickly.”
“It was not hard considering you are intended.”
“What do you mean?”
“According to Namira – and I only heard this in Sharp Stone – you are her intended.”
“She said that?”
“Yes, I hear it is quite the story.”
“She cannot go around announcing things like that without me.”
“Where have you been then? I am sure she has told everyone she could find.”
“The warriors and I have been training in the forest all day. I went for a walk after we finished.” So that is why Harod did not meet me this evening.
“I should warn you, your binding ceremony with Namira will completely outshine poor Merick and Tala.”
“I am not even Namira’s intended. I have not spoken more than a handful of words to her since we got back.”
“Try telling her that.”
“What am I going to do, Akari?”
“Are you asking me as a friend or the Wise Woman? Because the advice may differ.”
“Both.”
“As a friend, I say do not go through with it. As Wise Woman, I do not think you want to upset the Matrons. If Namira is their choice, then you have to go through with it.”
He chuckles. “What can Tall Grass even offer Rising Sun? We do not need baskets or rowdy children.”
“That is what I was thinking,” I say, a smile pulling at the corner of my mouth.
“You do not like Namira, do you?”
The smile vanishes from my face. “Is it that obvious?”
“Honestly, no.”
“I have good reasons for it, though.”
He gives me a pointed look to continue.
“I am not going to speak ill of the future Chief’s intended bond-mate.”
“Why not?”
“Ask her yourself.”
He frowns. “And what about you? Intended to Harod yet?”
I sigh heavily. “You are too busy to notice Namira going around saying you are her intended but not busy enough to think I am intended to Harod.”
“It is a simple question, Akari.”
“No, I am not intended to Harod. No, I do not love him. No, I never will. He has been helping me with Nura because the person I would have gone to is-” I catch myself from saying it and shut my mouth.
“The person you would have gone to is what?”
“Busy.” I yawn. “Good night, Tarok. Get some sleep, okay?”
Nura and I walk back to Sharp Stone. I lift her up onto the platform and crawl back into the hut and into bed.
I close my eyes but sleep does not come. I lay awake thinking of everything and nothing. I wish more than anything that I had not come home. That I had just chosen to stay in Mosh’ilan. Maybe if I had this would not be so hard. Maybe I could have fallen in love with someone else... anyone but him.
Bright light shines into the hut and w
akes me. I sit up and look over to my parents’ sleeping platform. I cannot see their sleeping forms even with the light. It cannot be morning already. I push back the blankets and furs and swing my legs out of the bed. I put on my day clothes and pull on my boots. Rarely do I wake before my parents but for some reason, today I do. I tiptoe out of the hut as quietly as possible and groan as the fur covered floor boards creak under my weight. Outside I look down to the spot where Nura had been to find that she is not there. “Nura!” I call out, scanning all open spaces I can see from my hut. Just before the tree line, I see Nura trotting into the forest. I jump off the platform and run after her.
I run into the Sacred Glade – where I had assumed she had gone – to find she is not there. Yet there is light still coming from deeper inside the forest. My feet continue moving me forward. Farther and deeper I go into the forest. I hear the sound of rushing water before I see the waterfall. Funny, I do not remember there being a waterfall in the forest. When I hear voices, I stop and kneel into a set of bushes.
“Did you do as I asked, Jyoti?” a female says.
“I did, my Lady. The Moon Child will be here shortly,” responds a second female.
I peek through the branches to see a woman wearing a long, white gown standing on a rock in the center of the pool the waterfall feeds into. Nura sits next to her while the woman places her hand onto Nura’s head.
“She is already here. Jyoti, you have always been a faithful companion,” says the woman. The edges of the dress fall into the water, but the woman does not seem to notice.
“And I always will be, my lady,” says the second female though I cannot see her.
“Please come out of those bushes,” the woman says turning to face me.
“Who are you?” I ask standing up and walking toward the edge of the pool.
The woman smiles brightly at me. “You have grown into such a lovely young woman, Akari. Just as I knew you would.”
Instead of getting that warning feeling within my stomach, I feel calmed. I feel like I have met this woman before… like I have known her all of my life. “Do I know you?”
“We are very well acquainted, Akari. But I do not expect you to remember. The memories of the past do not follow us into the present.”
“I do not understand.”
“I did not bring you here for you to question me over such a trivial matter as remembrance. There are other things we must discuss.”
“What kind of things?”
“I am here to put your mind at ease.” She glides over the pool and stops in front of me. “You are so troubled, my dear. Everything is going according to plan. And please, do not worry, you will have another chance at happiness.”
“I do not understand.”
She smiles knowingly. “You will.” The woman places her hand onto my cheek and whispers, “Sleep, my child.”
“Akari,” comes a voice through the darkness. “Akari, it is time to wake up.”
I open my eyes to the firelight of our hut.
“Breakfast will be ready in a moment, dear. You should get dressed while your father is out,” says Mother.
I do as she says and change from my night clothes to my day clothes. I step outside and sit down beside Nura.
“You would tell me if you could speak, would you not?” I ask the animal, patting her head. She cocks her head before laying it down onto her paws. “That is what I thought.”
After breakfast, Nura and I walk up to Natoak’s hut for tea and conversation. Normally I do not go until after our midday meal, but today I am eager to know what my strange dream meant.
“Akari. I did not expect you until mid-day,” Natoak says setting his trowel into his tool basket.
“I know. I needed to speak with you.”
“I see you made a new friend.” Nura sits down beside me and regards Natoak who does the same to her.
“She was injured and I am taking care of her.”
The two look at each other for a second longer before Natoak speaks again. “Just leave her outside.” He beckons me inside and sets a pot of water onto the fire. “What was so urgent that you came a half day early to visit me?”
“I had the strangest dream last night. I walked into the forest following Nura and then I saw a woman standing in a pool.”
“Who is Nura?”
“The injured wolf.”
“Right. Please go on.”
“The woman was talking to someone I could not see, but Nura was sitting right next to her as she did with me just a moment ago. Then the woman turned and started talking to me and-”
“What did she say, Akari?”
“I was about to tell you. You really must not interrupt.”
Natoak makes a show of rolling his eyes dramatically. “My apologies, Akari. Finish your dream.”
“And she told me that I was just as beautiful as she knew I would be. She also said that everything was going to plan and that I will have another chance at happiness.”
“What did this woman look like?”
“I do not remember. It was too bright for me to see anyway. But she was wearing a white dress.”
“Too bright?”
“Yes, it was a full moon and the light must have been reflecting off the pool and the waterfall.”
“I see.” Natoak stands up to put herbs into a cup before pouring the hot water over them.
“Is there some kind of Shaman tale about a woman in white?”
“There are old tales about women in white but these women are usually spirits. Are you sure you did not see the other person?”
“No, but it was definitely a woman and I could not see anyone other than Nura and the woman.”
“Did you hear any names, perhaps?”
“Um, I think I heard the name ‘Jyoti’ and that woman kept calling the woman in white ‘my Lady’. Does that help?”
“Akari, how did you come up with the name ‘Nura’?”
“I do not know,” I shrug. “It just came out of my mouth.”
“I see. ‘Nura’ means ‘light’ in the ancient tongue of our people. But I do not know about ‘Jyoti’. The names of spirits are very valuable and safe-guarded. Only those who are in the service of another may have their true name be known. Perhaps you have heard the true name of the servant of the woman in white.”
“Are you ever going to tell me how you know all this stuff about spirits? It is a little daunting at times.”
Natoak chuckles. “I will let you in on a little secret, Akari. The rite to becoming a Shaman involves death. The Shaman spends time in the Spirit World. He must find his way back to his body in order to become the Shaman. I learned all I could about the Spirit World during my time there so I could be of use to the people while I am here.”
“You died?”
“I did.”
“What was it like?”
“It is not as scary as you might think. There is a new adventure waiting on the other side.”
“I do not want to die.”
“We all must die someday. You will be reunited with loved ones and you will meet all of your ancestors when the time comes.”
“You make it sound so pleasant.”
“It is not all wonderful. There are those who will face eternal punishment until they are allowed to return to the mortal world.”
“Why are they allowed to return? Should they not be made to stay?”
“Time does not move as we know it in the Spirit World. It moves forward and backward and folds upon itself.”
“That is very strange.”
I leave Natoak’s hut with more questions than answers. But I cannot dwell on my own mysteries. I am called upon to do my Wise Woman duties and approve the binding of Tala and Merick.
The two stop me just before I enter the village. They each give Nura wary looks before forgetting her and returning their attention to me.
“Wise Woman, we must ask for your blessing,” Merick says.
“I am willing to give it. Co
me with me to the Glade.”
I walk in front of them with Nura at my side. I can feel Tala’s anticipation and anxiety. Does she think I will not approve of their binding? I hope she knows that I would always approve of her choice.
“Please sit on the smaller of the stones.”
Tala and Merick sit side by side. I sit upon the larger and look at them carefully. I know I am supposed to have something to say. I am supposed to approve of their binding and offer a blessing. However, words will not form in my head. Everything is completely blank. So I just start speaking.
“Gods and Spirits above, grant these two a long and happy life together. Allow them the chance to be truly happy as they deserve to be. Ancestors, watch over your children in their life together as you have in their lives apart. Dull their tongues when their words become sharp. Warm their hearts when the chill sets in. Bring to them the joys of life lived bound to their soul mate.” I look at them and smile. “I approve of your binding. May you live long and happy lives together.”
Chapter Sixteen