by Sam Mariano
At least I don’t have to worry about that this year. Even if she had her eye on some forever-single friend of hers to try to foist off on me, after this whole Alyssa thing, she’ll be too pissy to worry about the possibility of me being lonely.
“What do you think?” Alyssa asks, walking into our bedroom and spinning around as she proudly shows off her patriotic ensemble.
She’s wearing a navy blue dress with white polka dots and a thin, red cardigan over it with sleeves that only barely cover her elbows. Her honey blonde hair is pulled back in a high pony tail with a few tendrils hanging down around her face on each side.
I look her over until her cheeks pinken, then bring my gaze back to her face. “Beautiful.”
She beams at me and we head downstairs to get Scout. This being his first Fourth of July, I don’t know how he’ll fare with the fireworks, but I’d feel too bad leaving him here by himself when I know he likes to play with the kids. Now that Alyssa and I will be having one of our own, I need to keep him comfortable around them, too.
Once we get downstairs, Alyssa rounds him up and I grab a bag of chips and the food out of the fridge. Alyssa made some kind of pineapple salsa, and I marinated the meat skewers I bring to grill every year. My sister always has a ton of food, but my skewers are always a favorite. I told Alyssa she didn’t really need to make anything, but she wanted to feel like she was contributing. Next year I imagine she and Bri will feel more like family, but this year Alyssa’s worried about impressing her.
Me, I’m not worried about Alyssa impressing Bri with her salsa—I’m worried about Theo. Since I haven’t talked to my sister, I don’t know for sure she hasn’t told him she saw Alyssa the night of the carnival, but I think if she had, he would have paid me a visit at the bar by now. I haven’t heard from him, so that makes me think despite my sister’s warning that she wouldn’t cover my ass if I hurt Alyssa, she has. That means when I stroll into their house with Alyssa a step behind me, Theo is bound to have some questions.
Alyssa might’ve been right. I probably should have given him a heads-up. I’m banking on Bri being so surprised to see her, she’ll be dealing with her own surprise and won’t be analyzing Theo’s reaction.
It could all go pretty badly, but I’m being optimistic. Not too much I can do about it at this point, anyway.
Alyssa spends the majority of our car ride there keeping Scout out of the food, and I spend it daydreaming about all the ways I’d like to hurt my brother-in-law. When I pull into the driveway, I can’t seem to muster any excitement. A glance over at Alyssa tells me she’s nervous, too. Scout’s the only one eager to check out his surroundings.
I know the door will be unlocked since they’re having a party today, so I don’t bother knocking. Alyssa falls a step behind me as we walk inside, and I wonder how strange it is for her to be back here, especially under such drastically different circumstances.
I should probably thank her for being willing to come with me today knowing how uncomfortable it would be. Doesn’t matter that she was the one in the wrong—discomfort is discomfort, and a lot of people would go to great lengths to avoid being confronted by the fallout of their own sins. They wouldn’t want to come to a gathering like this, wouldn’t want to face people they’ve hurt when they could easily avoid it. I doubt Alyssa will be able to look at my sister and her husband even once today without thinking about what she did with him, but Alyssa didn’t complain at all.
She’s braver than I was at her age. I know it was my unwillingness to go to Nicole’s funeral that first started the whispers that maybe I wasn’t even mourning, maybe I wanted her dead. Maybe I was the one who killed her.
Maybe everything would’ve gone a lot differently if I’d have set aside my own discomfort and simply made an appearance that day. Worn black, bowed my head, listened to the litany of nice things people had to say about her and how much she’d be missed.
“Do you think Bri will be surprised I’m here?” Alyssa asks.
Pulled back to the present, I look over at her and nod my head. “I’d say so. She’s probably pretty convinced you’re fish food by now.”
“Have you turned so many people into fish food at this point that it’s easy for her to jump to that conclusion?”
“Only a couple, but people tend to have long memories and react pretty strongly to that kind of thing. Kill a measly couple of people and all of a sudden everyone thinks you’re a murderer.”
Perfect as she is, she shakes her head and plays along. “Weird.”
Smiling faintly, I wrap my free arm around her and tug her close so I can kiss the crown of her head. “Thanks for coming with me today.”
“Of course,” she says. “I know you’re close to your family. I’ll have to feel comfortable around them again eventually.”
I kiss her again as we walk into the kitchen. There are sliding doors just beyond the island counter that lead out back, so we can see that’s where everyone is. My nephews are playing in the yard and my sister is flitting around between round, white tables with red and blue plastic covers on top. Guests are crowded around each table, talking and laughing and having a great time.
Theo catches my eye as he walks past with a big smile on his face and my other sister’s daughter hanging over his shoulder, shrieking at the top of her lungs to be put down despite the big grin on her face. I look over at Bri first to see her expression when she looks at him, but she’s busy with her guests.
I look at Alyssa next. Sure enough, her eyes are fixed out the clear pane of glass, locked right on him. Him, in his muscle shirt with the cut-off sleeves, showing off every bloated muscle he works so hard to maintain. The opening in the side of the shirt is cut down clear past his waist, so even his abs are visible. Asshole might as well be wearing no shirt out there in front of everyone, and as I glance around, I notice a couple of the female guests admiring the display.
I don’t especially care when it’s anybody else looking at him like that, but I sure as hell care when it’s Alyssa.
I drop my arm and turn away from her, moving toward the counter to set down our dishes.
My abruptness must startle her out of her distracted staring, because she turns around and follows me to the counter. “Need any help?”
“Nope,” I answer, more shortly than I mean to.
Scout lets out a little whine, pacing in front of the patio doors, peering outside longingly.
“Want me to take him out?” she asks, unsure what to do.
“Wait for me.”
She turns back around and leans against the counter, facing Scout and probably gawking at fucking Theo some more since I’m not watching now.
Feeling a little irritated over it, I tell her sharply, “Remember what I said about being alone with him.”
Her brow furrows slightly and she looks over at me. “Who?”
“Theo,” I bark, startling her.
Alyssa frowns up at me, then looks out the back door again. If she wanted to say anything in response, she doesn’t get to. “Your sister just spotted us,” she tells me, her tone subdued. “She’s on her way inside.”
Ah, Christ, I’m not ready for this. I toss a look back over my shoulder and see my wide-eyed sister reaching for the door handle and pulling it open to come inside.
“Hey, Bri,” Alyssa greets with more cheer than I expect given our most recent exchange.
“Alyssa,” Bri says, as if stunned to see her alive and well. Then she looks over at me and complains, “You never returned a single one of my calls, Brantley. I was worried sick.”
“Yeah, I was busy, sorry,” I offer ingenuously.
“So, everything’s all right between you two, then?” Bri asks tentatively.
Alyssa nods her head, looking over at me, silently questioning whether or not now’s the time to tell her.
I give her a little nod.
Alyssa holds up her left hand and flashes her ring. “We’re getting married!”
I don’t have to look
at my sister to gauge her reaction. I can tell by the rapid rise in the tone of her voice. By the end of her “Oh my God!” only Scout should be able to hear her. “Engaged,” she adds, trying to bring it down a notch. “Wow. That’s a lot, isn’t it?”
Alyssa maintains her smile, but it dims ever so slightly as she correctly interprets more alarm than excitement from my very own sister.
No one’s giving her the goddamn “Congratulations!” she wants. Would that be so hard? We have to watch every last one of them make mistake after mistake; would it kill them to at least pretend to be excited for us?
Personally, I don’t give half a damn, but Alyssa clearly does, and now both of our families have neglected to tell her they’re happy for her, opting instead to second-guess her decision.
And she didn’t even get a say in this goddamn decision to begin with. Once she angrily blurted me out as the father, the rest of the path unfolded before us. Her family might not have known that, but mine certainly should.
Turning around, drying the hands I just washed on the hand towel hanging over the faucet, I meet my sister’s gaze. “Surely you didn’t think this was gonna go any other way. She’s pregnant. I’m the father. That’s that.”
“Also, we really like each other,” Alyssa puts in optimistically, like this will change my sister’s opinion of our union.
Looking at me knowingly, my sister says, “Oh, well, if you like each other.”
Shaking my head, I tell Bri, “I walked you down the aisle when you married that trash heap outside, didn’t I? Least you could do is offer your future sister-in-law a congratulations.”
“My husband is not a trash heap,” she informs me.
“You’re right, that’s unkind to trash heaps.”
“Anyway,” Alyssa cuts in, holding out her hand to show Bri. “We went ring shopping the other day. Your brother did really well.”
“Wow,” Bri says, grabbing Alyssa’s hand and inspecting the diamond. “That’s gorgeous—and not small. Damn, Brant.”
“Isn’t it beautiful?” Alyssa murmurs, smiling at the sparkly stone on her hand.
Shaking her head, Bri tells Alyssa, “When Theo and I got married, we were in the middle of buying this house so we had poured every dollar we could into the down payment. We were dead broke.” Holding up her own ring finger, she says, “I don’t have a big rock like yours, but I like my little ¼ carat just as much.”
“I think it’s beautiful. I love the halo style,” Alyssa says, kindly.
“It helps make the ring look more impressive, doesn’t it?”
“Definitely. He chose well—or you. Whoever picked it out.”
Bri smiles faintly. “I actually picked it out myself. I always imagined my husband would be the one to pick out my engagement ring in a style I’d like and I’d be legitimately surprised when he popped the question, but it never seems to go that way, does it?”
“Not when you get knocked up first, apparently,” Alyssa agrees.
Feeling the need to defend myself, I tell them, “It’s an expensive purchase, and I wanted to make sure I spent the money on something she’d like. I’m no good at picking out jewelry. Did you want me to spend all that money on something you would’ve been embarrassed to wear?”
With a transparently placating smile, Alyssa comes over to stand in front of me. She wraps her arms around my neck, pulling herself up nearer to my height, and gives me a little kiss. “Ring shopping with you was perfect. I wouldn’t have wanted to do it any other way.”
I tighten my arms around her waist and tug her a little closer, leaning in and stealing a longer kiss. If everyone’s gonna irritate me all damn day, I need some more of Alyssa’s affection to give me enough of a charge to get through it.
As I’m kissing her, though, the sliding door opens again and the last voice I want to hear while I’m kissing Alyssa pierces my little pocket of peace.
Understandably confused, Theo asks, “What the hell’s going on in here?”
Alyssa breaks away from my mouth, and even though if I thought it through logically I’d understand why it’s awkward for her to get caught kissing me, it’s my primal instincts that kick in first. Rather than letting her move away, my arms tighten around her waist, trapping her against me as I watch her face to see how she’s reacting.
Like a deer caught in headlights. “Let go,” she whispers.
I shake my head, not saying a word.
She searches my face, mildly panicked, but she must be more concerned with the threat I present than the threat he presents, because she doesn’t force the issue. Right now, no one but her can feel how I’m reacting. I watch her try to manage the impression we’re making. Instead of fighting her way out of my hold like it appears she’d like to, she settles her hands on my shoulders and brushes away some invisible lint, allowing me a moment to get my bearings.
It feels longer to me, but it’s probably only a few seconds that pass. Finally, I unlock my arms and let Alyssa move out of my embrace. She does, but she doesn’t go far, remaining beside me and reaching down with her right hand to take mine.
We’re both looking directly at Theo now. His confusion has morphed into something else. He looks almost offended.
“Uh, honey,” Bri says, taking the reins since me and Alyssa are just standing here, not saying a word. “So, I haven’t gotten all the details yet, but apparently Brant and Alyssa have been seeing each other. That’s why she hasn’t been calling me back.”
“Sorry,” Alyssa murmurs, sounding like a chastised schoolgirl again.
“Oh, water under the bridge. It doesn’t matter,” Bri insists, waving it off. Looking back at Theo, she explains, “They’re—um—Alyssa’s pregnant.”
Theo stares, his blue eyes wide and locked on Alyssa. “Pregnant?”
Alyssa leans closer to me, her discomfort clearly growing.
“Yep,” I answer so no one else has to. “We’re engaged, too.”
“Engaged,” Theo echoes, his disbelief even thicker. Harsh laughter escapes him, a smile stealing across his stupid, smug face. “Are you fucking with me?”
My eyes narrow at him, but before I can say anything, Alyssa surprises me by jumping in. “He stopped over one day when I was babysitting.”
Like a hawk with his eye on prey he doesn’t want to get away, his gaze jumps back to Alyssa. His voice flat, clearly skeptical, he says, “Brant did?”
Alyssa swallows and nods her head earnestly. “To visit and see the boys. He didn’t realize you and Bri were at work, but you were so I was here instead. Nothing happened here, of course, but I thought he was attractive and I guess he thought the same about me. Anyway, I asked for his number, and now here we are.”
“You asked for his number.”
Laughing a little uneasily, Bri says, “You don’t have to repeat everything, honey. It’s not that hard to grasp.”
“It’s a little fucking hard to grasp,” he disagrees. Pulling his gaze from Alyssa to me, he says, “Can we talk for a minute?”
“I don’t believe that’s necessary,” I tell him, holding his gaze evenly. This fucking bastard better not mess this up. I’ll rip his head clean off his shoulders.
“You come in here telling me you knocked up our barely legal babysitter and now you’re marrying her and we aren’t allowed to have questions? Fuck that, Brant. I have questions,” Theo states.
“Why don’t you go back to your guests,” I suggest firmly.
“If you don’t want to talk, why don’t I talk to Alyssa instead?” he asks, holding my gaze.
Alyssa’s hand squeezes mine, her anxiety growing.
“Theo, come on,” Bri says, trying to rein him in.
Looking over at Bri, Theo points in our general direction and demands, “You support this?”
She hesitates, then says diplomatically, “It’s not my decision to make. I was a little stunned at first, too, but if they’re happy—”
“When?” Theo interrupts, looking back at us. “When did
you meet? The boys never mentioned Brant stopping over any of the times I was here after Alyssa babysat.”
What the fuck is he doing, raising questions like that when he knows the truth?
Attempting to put an end to this before it gets any weirder, I look over at Alyssa. “I’m sorry, baby, I didn’t realize we were gonna get the third degree or we wouldn’t have come.”
Forcing herself back into a position of control, my sister finally says, “All right, that’s enough. Alyssa and Brant are both adults, they can make their own choices. Let’s stop making them uncomfortable and have a nice holiday together.” Without giving anyone else a chance to weigh in, she looks at Alyssa. “The boys are going to be so thrilled to see you. Why don’t you come outside with me and say hi.”
Alyssa looks up at me uncertainly. I did tell her to wait for me, but that was because Theo was outside. Now he’s standing here in the kitchen, looking at me with a challenge in his eyes.
“Go on,” I tell her, nodding toward the door. “Take Scout outside, I’ll be out in a minute.”
My sister casts an uncertain look at Theo, clearly wishing he’d come outside with her, but he doesn’t budge. She knows I can handle her husband, so she leaves us here and takes Alyssa and Scout out to play with the boys.
The door slides shut, but neither of us speaks for a moment. I watch out the window until Bri and Alyssa are far enough away I won’t have to worry about them overhearing anything we’re about to say.
Finally, my gaze slides to Theo. His eyes are colder than I’ve ever seen them before. Given the look on his face, I expect him to toss a barbed comment my way, but then he stares at me for so long I start to think he legitimately doesn’t know what to say.
I guess that makes sense. I don’t like to think of things from his perspective because I dislike him so much, but I suppose if a woman I impregnated came strolling in a short time later, engaged to the man I sent to kill her, I’d have some questions.
Of course, none of that would ever happen to me, because I wouldn’t make the choices he has. If he expects any sympathy, he’s looking in the wrong damn place if he’s looking at me.