Maddy shrugged. "He's pretty much a macho, male, take-control, U.S. Marshal, maybe not so much with my brothers, but at times he treated me like I was in middle school and he was the principal. I really didn't appreciate it."
"I assume you're talking about when you went to Las Vegas," Julia said, having heard about the fiasco from her grandfather.
Maddy let out an unladylike snort that came out louder than she expected, Julia realized, when Maddy clamped her hand over her mouth, but it had the effect of turning Mario's head toward them, and when he looked their way, he stared at Julia, so long in fact, she wondered if he recognized her, if he was the same Mario.
Trapped in his gaze, she couldn't look away, and when his frown deepened, and his eyes became intense—an odd reaction coming from a perfect stranger—she was all but certain that he was her Mario. The chain of reactions she feared most, those that came on the cusp of a panic attack, gripped her. Knowing she had to leave at once, she said in an anxious voice, "I've got to go," then left abruptly by the back door, shutting it quickly behind.
Once outside she took several long draws of the brisk December air, and on exhaling, saw her breath wafting in misty puffs, a reminder that the vise gripping her chest was letting up. She braced her back on the building and waited for things to settle.
Several minutes later, when she felt as if she finally had some control, she turned and peered through the window. Mario was no longer there, and when she scanned the people in the room, she saw no sign of him…
"Julia?"
The sound of a male voice that had, for years, been only in her memory, brought Julia turning around, and for the moment she was too stunned to speak, so she simply looked at him and nodded. He was older, in his mid-forties now, but the face she remembered over the years was still there, and still concerned, or maybe more perplexed than concerned.
"I wasn't sure it was you," Mario said. "Why did you rush out?"
Julia struggled to find a plausible reason for her abrupt exit, while trying to juggle a whole range of reactions similar to those triggered by her claustrophobia, but which she knew were not caused by her phobia this time, but because she was in the presence of a man who had hovered in her memory for twenty years. "I… it was getting… noisy."
Mario looked at her oddly, like he was mulling something over, then he said in a discerning voice, "You're Howard Barker's granddaughter."
"How did you know?" Julia asked.
"All communication between Jeremy and his family comes through me, and the name, Julia, caught my attention," Mario replied. "But you have your grandfather's last name. When we were trapped, you were a couple of months away from getting married."
Julia was distracted momentarily by the fact that Mario had remembered her name. She always assumed she'd just been a woman in the rubble to him, while he had been tantamount to her guardian angel, someone who arrived on the scene when she was buried alive and teetering on the brink of death, and would be with her until she took her last breath, if it had come to that. There had even been times, over the years, when she wondered if he had been a real guardian angel. Everything happened the way people described, and once she was out of danger, he left.
Realizing he was waiting for her to fill in the details, she said, "The… wedding plans fell through and I never married."
"Anyone?" The perpetual frown between Mario's brows deepened.
"I… got involved with other things, so no, I never married anyone."
"Are you okay then?"
"What do you mean?"
"After the bombing. Have things been okay?"
"Oh, yes. I'm fine," Julia lied, but she didn't want Mario to know. He was a tower of strength. She was like a crushed flower.
"That's good," Mario said. "Some of the other survivors didn't come out of it so well."
"And you?" Julia asked. "Have things gone well for you after that?"
Mario let out a short, ironic laugh. "I've been in worse situations. They come with the job."
"I don't think I'd like that job very well," Julia said.
"It has its shortcomings," Mario replied, "but I stay with it because it puts a lot of wiseguys behind bars, and sometimes the rats I protect turn their lives around. What about you? When I asked what you wanted to do with your life, you said you and your fiancé were in the process of starting a river rafting business. Did you?"
Again, Julia was surprised he'd remembered what she'd told him, but she didn't want to talk about her shattered dream. All the hopes she once had, vanished when a bomb blew out the side of a building. Even the man she loved vanished in a sense, because he couldn't cope with her fears and phobias after that. "It was an impractical dream," she said, and hoped she sounded sincere. But the man who'd been part of her dream had filled the other half of their dream with another woman. Rogue River Rats was a successful business, which it would not have been if Cole had waited for her to come out of her shell, because he'd still be waiting.
"Maybe we could spend some time together while I'm here," Mario said." You told me you liked visiting your grandfather when you were growing up because he kept a horse for you on his ranch, so maybe tomorrow we could ride in the mountains."
Julia hadn't realized how much she'd blocked out of her mind since those long, pitch-black hours, nor did she remember telling Mario about spending time at her grandparent's ranch. In fact, she was surprised Mario remembered anything she'd told him on the one day in their lives that could well have been their last. She also knew she couldn't venture away from the cabin with him or anyone else, not on foot, and not on horseback. "I haven't ridden in years," she said, "but I'm surprised you can still ride. I remember you telling me you lived on a ranch when you were a teen, but you've been a marshal for years. When was the last time you rode?"
"About two days ago," Mario replied. "I had to help Jeremy repair fences taken down by a snowstorm. So, are we on for riding in the mountains tomorrow?"
"I still can't. It's my… umm… back," Julia said. "It…. sometimes gives me trouble." She hated lying, but it was just a small lie to keep Mario from knowing the truth, that by venturing away from her place of security, any number of things could start a chain of reactions that were not only embarrassing and humiliating, but were hard to explain, even to herself.
Mario looked at her soberly, like he wasn't buying what she was telling him, then he shrugged, and said, "It's probably better that I don't go riding either. I have paperwork to do, and I need to get started. Good seeing you again." Saying nothing more, he turned and walked off, and Julia realized he'd misconstrued everything she'd said as giving him the brush-off. The thought that he had just walked out of her life, for the second time, troubled her deeply.
CHAPTER 2
His elbow propped on the kitchen table, his chin braced against the heel of his hand, Mario stared out the window of the cabin Roberta and Bill were staying in, his gaze on the snow drifting past the window, his mind focused on his encounter with Julia Barker the day before. Seeing her caught him off guard, so much so that for several seconds he'd been blindsided by the sight of her. If he'd simply seen her sitting and talking to Maddy, he would have been reminded of a woman whose face had haunted him for years, but he wouldn't have known it was the same woman. But when she looked intently at him and held his gaze, he knew it was Julia…
"…okay if we sell it?"
He looked blankly at his sister, who was standing near the table, staring at him.
Roberta plunked a mug of coffee in front of him. "It's not like you to be so distracted," she said, moving to sit across from him at the table. "I was talking about selling the ranch and you didn't hear a word I said. What's going on?"
Mario shrugged. "Nothing much."
Roberta gave an ironic huff. "Nothing much had you on another planet."
Mario didn't want to talk to Roberta about his alien feelings for Julia. He'd never had feelings like that for a woman, mainly because he'd never been in a relationship with any l
ong enough to care. And as long as he remained in a job that demanded he put his life on the line to protect the kind of scum that usually needed witness protection, there would never be a place in his life for a wife and family. In a sense, he was glad Julia let him know in subtle ways where he stood. But then, he didn't have the kind of face that attracted a woman like Julia. Loud, loose women, no problem, which worked for him. He'd never had to worry about ties…
"I've lost you again," Roberta said.
Mario eyed Roberta with annoyance, knowing she'd keep badgering him until she got some kind of answer, so he said, "Okay, I was thinking about the Oklahoma City bombing."
"That was over twenty years ago," Roberta said. "What's got you thinking about it now?"
"The woman I was trapped with," Mario replied. "She's here at the ranch."
"As a guest?"
Mario shook his head. "Her grandfather's married to the matriarch of this family."
"Then she recognized you?"
Mario nodded and hoped Roberta would drop the subject, which she didn't.
"So, you must have talked to her," Roberta said.
"Some."
"What did she say?"
"Nothing much."
"You're evading things."
Mario looked across at Roberta, who had a way of extricating things from him he didn't want to talk about. Being eight years his senior, she'd taken on the role of mother when he was twelve and their father died, and she still held onto that role. "What are you implying?" he asked.
"Nothing," Roberta replied. "I'm just curious. You spent hours trapped with the woman, so after twenty years, I assumed you had more than just a few casual words to exchange with her."
Mario rested back in his chair and folded his arms. "In case you have it in your head to start playing matchmaker while I'm here, forget it," he said, deciding to nip this in the bud. "She pretty much brushed me off."
"Why? Did you pull your tough-guy stuff on her?"
Mario eyed his sister with increasing annoyance. "I don't have to pull any of your so-called tough guy stuff for a woman like Julia Barker to tell me to shove off."
Roberta looked at him, dubiously. "She actually did that?"
Mario knew the only way to cut this conversation short was to lay it all out. "Not in so many words, but when I suggested we take the horses into the mountains, she made-up a half-assed excuse. I got the message. So maybe we can drop it now. What about selling the ranch?"
Roberta's lips parted, like she was about to aggravate him more by digging deeper into something he wanted to shelve, then she gave a kind of half-shrug, and said, "Bill and I have been talking about selling. We want to find a place close to where Jeremy and Billy will be, and since the ranch is half yours, I want to make sure it's okay with you to sell."
"I have no use for it," Mario replied. "If you want to sell, then sell."
"Good. I'll look into having it listed," Roberta said. "When it does sell, you'll have enough money from your half to buy a house, then you can find a wife and finally settle down."
"You know having a wife isn't compatible with the kind of work I do," Mario said.
"Then get out of the service," Roberta replied. "You've been in long enough to retire."
"I'm not ready to sit around twiddling my thumbs," Mario groused. He glanced out a side window when he caught sight of movement and saw Julia dragging a sack of what looked like seed toward where several bird feeders were hanging from iron brackets attached to a fir tree. He watched as she opened the sack and dipped out a can of seed and filled a couple of feeder trays, but when she stood on tiptoe and tried to dump seed into a higher tray, the tray tipped, and seeds fell in her face, so she stopped what she was doing and looked up at the tray, like she was trying to figure out how to fill it.
She was a beautiful woman, no question, and the ironic thing was, she did look like a Barbie doll, which was the way she'd described herself during a time when he'd sat in total darkness, with his arm around her to offer security. She'd sat close against him, not in a romantic way, but because she needed a warm body to remind her she wasn't alone...
"Is that the woman?" Roberta asked.
Mario realized he'd been staring at Julia. "Yeah, and she needs help with the feeders." He shoved his chair back and stood.
"You might try smiling this time," Roberta said.
"I'm not trying to get something going with her if that's what you're suggesting," Mario snapped, "so whatever you're thinking, you can forget."
"Don't be so touchy," Roberta said. "What you need is to socialize some while you're here, go to the lodge and meet the guests. And you also need to get rid of the rough edges."
Mario didn't respond, his attention focused on Julia, who he couldn't seem to let go, never mind that he was about to make an asshole out of himself again, by coming up with some lame-brained excuse to see her, like filling bird feeders.
***
When Julia saw Mario walk out of the cabin where his sister and brother-in-law were staying and head toward her, the sight of him set off a series of reactions she recognized, not as the lead into a panic attack, but because he stirred things inside, the kind of things she once felt when she was with Cole. It was good, in a way, because for years she'd felt dead inside when it came to the kind of emotions a woman should have for the normal, male-female reasons. Mario definitely stirred those feelings.
"You need some help?" he called out, as he walked toward her.
"My bird friends do," Julia replied. "They're waiting for dinner, and every feeder was empty, and I'm a bird person. If you could reach the high feeders, they'd appreciate it."
Mario smiled, which took Julia back to a time that now brought mixed feelings because that same smile was what she remembered most about him.
"Hand me the can," he said.
What caught Julia's eye as she handed Mario the can was a broad, muscular chest in a snug black T-shirt, evident beneath his unzipped jacket. He was exceptionally fit for a man in his mid-forties, like he must work out regularly to stay that way, or maybe his job demanded he stay fit. Whatever the reason, she liked what she saw. She stepped back and watched as he filled the can with sunflower seeds from the sack her grandfather brought over, and dumped the seeds into the first of three feeder trays hanging out of her reach.
It was strange watching a man she'd once been trapped with, but had no idea what he looked like until they began to hear noises, like rubble being moved, and a dog barking, incessant barking, and ultimately scratching as the dog continued searching and guiding the rescue workers to where she and Mario had been imprisoned. But once the rubble was cleared and there was an opening, Mario closed his arm around her so she was tight against him, and crawled through an opening barely high and wide enough to get through. Once out, he lifted her in his arms and carried her to where rescue workers had a waiting stretcher. She had no more than five minutes to look at him before he told her goodbye, then turned and walked away…
"That should keep them fed for a couple of days," Mario said, after filling the last feeder. He tossed the can into the sack of birdseed, twisted the top of the sack, and hefted it onto his shoulder. "Where do you want this?" he asked.
"Just on the porch," Julia replied.
Mario headed for the covered porch of her cabin and set the bag down. Julia thought he'd leave then, but he remained where he was, and for a moment he acted like he had when he entered the lodge the day before, looking as if he didn't know what to do next, which was understandable. From the way Maddy talked, his visits to the ranch had been far from social, and now he was there as a guest, or at least there on the urging of Jeremy and Billy, so he was completely out of his element. "Thank you for filling those high feeders," she said. "The birds will appreciate it, and if they've flown south, the squirrels will finish what they left, and by tomorrow they'll probably be tapping on your window for more."
Mario laughed, and stepped down off the porch. "Yell if you need my help again," he said
.
When he turned to leave, Julia found herself saying, "Mario, please don't go."
Mario stopped and turned, then waited for her to continue.
"I never had a chance to thank you for what you did, years ago," she said.
Mario shrugged. "I'm glad I was there when you needed someone."
"You were more than just there," Julia said. "I don't know what I would have done if I'd been alone. You literally helped me hold onto my sanity. And I hope you didn't misconstrue what I said yesterday when you wanted to go riding. I do want to spend time with you. Maybe you could come for dinner tonight. It won't be much, but I want to do something for you."
"You don't have to do anything for me," Mario said.
"I know I don't, but I want to," Julia replied. "Just humor me and come for dinner."
Mario eyed her with curiosity. "Don't you eat in the lodge?"
Julia looked toward the lodge, which was again filled with guests and family. The last thing she wanted was to suddenly become claustrophobic and start spacing out while guests were present. She'd wondered, over the years, how Mario had managed to remain calm when he was facing the same grisly fate as she, of being crushed beneath tons of concrete and iron beams, yet his focus had been solely on keeping her hopes up. "I'd like to be able to talk to you and catch up on what you've been doing over the years," she said, "but with all the excitement of Jeremy and Billy being home, it's very noisy in there."
"I'd offer to take you to a quiet restaurant in town," Mario said, "but I won't have a vehicle until tomorrow, when I'm getting a rental."
In a perfect world, the thought of going out to dinner with Mario would have been a dream come true for Julia, but this was far from a perfect world right now. "I actually like eating at home," she replied, "and there's no need for you to rent a car. I have one you can use. I've always worked from home so I only use it to go to the grocery, and since I don't drive in snow, I won't be needing it while you're here. My grandfather just had snow tires put on it."
Finding Justice (Dancing Moon Ranch Book 12) Page 2