Relieved that they were done, Julia said, in all sincerity, "Thank you for the instruction. I can honestly say I feel far more confident than before. And I'll keep my pepper spray handy. Now I'll warm the cobbler in the microwave."
When she turned to go, Mario said, "You need to learn some moves to apply if an attacker grabs you from behind."
Julia froze, and while she was trying to come up with a logical reason to avoid the very thing she dreaded for the better part of the afternoon, Mario walked up, and grabbing her from behind, said close to her head, "An attacker in this position makes you powerless unless you move fast by raising your bent arm sharply and striking him in the nose with your elbow. Go ahead. Try it."
But Julia never heard Mario's words. In an instant, a fireball of terror ripped upwards from her stomach through her diaphragm and into her chest as walls began crumbling around her, burying her neck deep with their weight, threatening to crush her. Desperate to escape, her mind in a state of total agitation, she fumbled frantically to remove Mario's arms from around her. "Please let me go," she said in a panicky voice.
Mario immediately released her, and after she backed away, she took several long breaths to steady her breathing, but that couldn't stop her trembling hands. Mario made no move toward her, but looking at her in puzzlement, he said, "What's going on?"
Julia knew she was acting irrational, precisely the thing she didn't want Mario to see. Struggling to regain some composure, she said in a shaky voice, "I don't know what happened. Well, maybe I do. You'd been giving me so many scenarios about what could happen, when you suddenly came at me from behind my mind played tricks on me and I freaked out. I don't claim to be a brave woman. You already know that."
Mario walked up to her, and placing his hands on her shoulders, he said, "The only reason you react the way you do when trapped is because you need to be desensitized. It's what law enforcement officers learn at the start. By programming yourself to deal with an attacker, you're programming your mind for self-survival, but once you've overcome the obstacles that keep you from blocking out everything but taking on your attacker, or dealing with survival after the unforeseen happens, you'll gain confidence, and you won't freak out when it matters."
Her heart still pounding heavily from her panic attack, and feeling a little lightheaded, Julia rested her hands lightly on Mario's waist as she held his gaze, and said in an uncertain voice, "I know you're right, but maybe we'd better quit for tonight."
"I'll go with that, but first…" Mario slowly moved toward her, but when his arms went around her, and his lips met hers, Julia let out a short gasp and stiffened.
"I'm sorry. I don't know what I was thinking," Mario said, releasing her. "That's not the kind of relationship either of us want, so I need to leave before I do something we'll both regret."
"It's not you, it's me," Julia said. "It's just that it's been a long time since anyone has… since I've been in any kind of a relationship, and you caught me by surprise."
"Why no relationships?" Mario asked. "Did your broken engagement sour you on all men?"
"No, that had nothing to do with it," Julia replied, then realized she should have let Mario believe that had been the case, the old jilted complex.
"What then?"
"My career keeps me busy at home. Writing scripts is a full-time job because I have deadlines to meet."
"Which don't allow you to take nights or weekends off?" Mario asked.
"It's hard to explain, but yes, it's kind of that way."
"Then I don't suppose it would do any good to ask you to go snowshoeing with me tomorrow. They have snowshoes in the lodge and we could trudge around on one of the trails and get some exercise for a couple of hours and see some of the surrounding country."
Julia looked out the window at the build-up of snow. After three days it was over a foot deep, and the thought of straying off into the mountains, even with Mario, was troubling at best. "I'd love to but I have a script that needs to go out and it's not finished. I usually work evenings…. Well days too."
"And I've been cutting into your time," Mario said.
"In a nice way," Julia replied, "but tomorrow I'll need to work instead of snowshoeing."
"Then I'd better let you get back to it," Mario said. "And thanks for the dinner." He didn't try to kiss her again, and he didn't look back as he left, closing the door quietly behind.
***
Roberta stood by the kitchen counter in Mario's cabin, while drinking a mug of coffee she'd brought with her when she dropped in unannounced, which immediately put Mario on alert because he knew she was curious about something. He suspected it had to do with Julia, which Roberta affirmed, when she said, "Bill saw you coming and going in Julia's car, so apparently you're making some headway with her."
Mario drew in a slow breath to stem his impatience. "When I told her I was going to get a rental, she offered me the use of her car, and that's all there is to it," he replied.
"You haven't been to the lodge for dinner since we arrived," Roberta pointed out.
Mario loved his sister, but this particular morning he wished she'd find something else to do besides hanging around his cabin, drinking coffee. "Julia and I are friends," he said. "She's had me over for dinner a couple of times."
Roberta smiled in the way she did when she thought she'd hit on something, which bugged the hell out of Mario. He'd had a restless night and wasn't interested in small talk, and he had no intention of discussing his feelings for Julia with Roberta.
The problem was, there was a big disconnect when it came to whatever there was between him and Julia. He'd never received so many mixed messages from a woman, but behind them all, there was a problem. Her behavior was erratic. It occurred to him that she might have had some kind of encounter with an assailant, maybe even been raped. According to statistics, by the time a woman was in her early twenties she had a 25% chance of suffering a violent crime, and rape was something women held inside. If that was the case, he wouldn't force her to talk about it unless she was comfortable enough with him to open up. They were a long way from that.
Still, she'd moved into his life in a way he hadn't expected, and now her safety and well-being were important to him...
"What's the problem?" Roberta asked. "You're distracted again, and I'm thinking you feel more for this woman than you want to admit, but you can talk to me about it. I'm here to listen."
Mario shoved his chair back, and stood. "There's nothing to talk about," he said, deciding to cut this whole brother-sister heart-to-heart off before Roberta started digging things out of him he didn't even want to admit to himself.
"There you go getting defensive again," Roberta said. "The very fact that you say there's nothing to talk about means there is."
"Sorry to disappoint you, but there isn't," Mario replied. "I also have to break this off because I'm meeting with Jeremy and Billy over at Grace and Jack Hansen's house, so I can complete some paperwork. I'll see you later."
"Will you be going to the lodge for dinner tonight?" Roberta asked.
Mario realized what she was really asking was if he'd be going to Julia's for dinner, which had not been set because he'd walked out of Julia's cabin the night before, baffled not only about where he stood with her, but about a whole range of other things. "I'll probably be at the lodge," he said, and hoped Roberta would get the message that whatever there was between him and Julia, had come crashing to an end.
"She's very pretty," Roberta said.
"And your point is?"
"You're giving up too easily."
"I'm not doing anything but trying to get you to butt the hell out." At once Mario regretted his words, but Roberta had a way of bringing out the worst in him when it came to personal affairs.
"You don't have to snap my head off," Roberta said. "I'm just trying to be helpful."
"Sorry," Mario replied. "Okay, just for the record, I like Julia, but trying to work her into my life isn't an option." He grabbed his briefc
ase containing a glut of papers for Jeremy and Billy to sign, and left the cabin before Roberta could start pumping him as to why it wasn't an option, something even he was having trouble defending.
As he headed toward the Hansen house, the snowflakes settling on his head and shoulders were large and heavy, snow with moisture in it that builds quickly, and just as quickly, slips from branches in a cascade of icy rain. But he still liked the idea of snowshoeing, a way to get in some exercise while hiking high enough to see the country. He was beginning to get shack happy, hanging around his cabin and the lodge, although he did enjoy his time playing marbles with Sergei, and the kid had potential. Maybe he could even take the boy snowshoeing, since Julia opted out for a reason that didn't ring true.
On the porch of the Hansen house, he stomped his boots, flicked the snow from his head and shoulders, and brushed it off his briefcase, then knocked. Jeremy answered the door, opening it wide, and moving aside for him to enter.
Mario had only just stepped into the house, when Amy rushed at him from across the room, while holding her hands up high, and said in an excited voice, "Uncle Mario, will you ride me on your shoulders?"
Mario tossed the briefcase onto the couch beside Billy, who was sitting holding Willy on her knees, and said, "Come on," then scooped Amy up and landed her on his shoulders.
"Be a horse now," Amy said, while clutching his head between her hands.
"Maybe not in the house, kiddo, you could bump your head on the ceiling, but maybe later we'll saddle up a horse and you can ride in front of me, like we did at the ranch."
"Will you turn me upside down now?" Amy asked.
"Sure, get ready." Reaching up, Mario grabbed Amy's tiny waist and flipped her over, landing her on her feet, at which point she scampered off.
"Sit down," Billy said. "It's hard to believe I'll finally be a Hansen, and I'm glad this is being done before Amy starts school. It's odd though. I've been so many people in the past six years I'm not sure who I am anymore."
"It'll come back," Mario replied. "Your sister's not so lucky. She won't be leaving the program anytime soon, if ever."
"She's better off where she is," Billy said. "But I can tell you this much. Dad's glad to be Dr. William Fuller again and be able to take his place among the Fellows in the Entomological Society, even though he doesn't plan on going back there."
Mario moved a chair up to the coffee table in front of the couch then sat down and started pulling papers out of his briefcase. "You'd better have some good ballpoint pens on hand because both of you have a stack of papers to sign."
Jeremy flashed the pen in his hand. "Pass them on over," he said, while lowering himself beside Billy, who put Willy on the floor, where he sat surrounded by an assortment of toys to keep him occupied.
For the next half hour, Mario placed papers in front of Billy and Jeremy to sign, explaining what each was, and when they were finally finished signing, Billy stood, propped her hand on Mario's shoulder and kissed him on the cheek, and said, "I can't believe you finally brought us home. I hope you'll stay in touch with us after this. The kids will want to see Uncle Mario from time to time."
"I'll stay in touch," Mario said.
"Meanwhile I have to put Willy down for his nap, and later you promised to take Amy for a ride, so now you're stuck."
Mario laughed. "I'm ready to ride, so you'd better bundle her up."
After Billy left the room, Jeremy said to Mario, "I saw you driving Julia's car. Maddy told me you're the marshal who was trapped with her during the Oklahoma City bombing."
"Maddy's right," Mario replied, while filing the papers back into their folders before returning them to the briefcase.
"Then you know about her claustrophobia," Jeremy said.
As Mario stared at Jeremy, slowly things started to fall into place, and comments Julia made were beginning to make sense….
The wedding plans fell through and I never married…
Because she was engaged to a man who didn't understand her.
"I knew something was wrong," Mario said, "but she didn't say what, and I didn't ask. I'm not surprised though. She was literally buried alive, and it wasn't easy to dig her out in the dark. Is that why she's here?"
Jeremy nodded. "According to Howard, she hasn't lived on her own since the bombing, and when her parents moved to Korea, she came here to be near him. She only just arrived last week, but Howard said she also has agoraphobia and hardly ever leaves home."
Which explained the old car. It had low mileage because she rarely drove it. Another disconnect explained.
I always loved writing… I can do it at home…
Where she can hide from the world, with her phobias.
"So, does that wind things up?" Jeremy asked.
"For now," Mario replied. "You'll have to make one more trip to Portland to finish up there, but then you'll be who you are again. And maybe this afternoon you could take Amy for that horseback ride. I have some unfinished business."
"In Portland?" Jeremy asked.
Mario snapped his briefcase shut and stood. "No, in a cabin across the drive."
CHAPTER 6
Julia watched in delight as Irina signed to her the phrase, 'My name is Irina. What's your name?' even fingerspelling the word, Irina.
Julia learned from Sergei, when he brought Irina over, that Irina talked at one time, and was even learning to read, then stopped talking when their parents were killed in a car accident. Still, Julia couldn't help thinking Irina was also deaf because she didn't hear noises around her, or maybe her mind told her she was deaf because words could bring pain, and silence could protect her from that.
For the moment though, Julia was getting through to a little girl who'd shut out the world, for whatever reason, and she wanted to work with Irina as much as possible while she was there. "My name is Julia," Julia signed back, fingerspelling the letters in her name.
"You're pretty," Irina signed, which brought a smile to Julia's lips because Irina had only been shown the phrase once, when she told Irina she was pretty.
"Thank you," Julia signed back. "You're smart—" she touched three fingers to her temple, "and you learn fast." She swept her hands in unison in front of her.
Irina grinned, and signed back, "Can I learn more?"
Julia bobbed her closed fist up and down. "Open your book," she signed, while pressing her palms together, then opening them wide.
Irina picked up the book on the couch and spread it open on her lap, and on studying one of the illustrations, signed to Julia, "I need to go to the bathroom."
Julia laughed, and pointed to the open door to the bathroom, and signed, "Yes, please."
Irina set the book aside and went into the bathroom. While she was there, a knock on the door caught Julia's attention, and she knew Grace had come to pick up Irina to take her to the stable, where Jack would saddle up the pony for her to ride. But when Julia opened the door, she was surprised to see Mario instead. She hadn't seen him since he walked out of her cabin the night before, and she'd given up hope of spending time with him again, other than maybe having a casual conversation while at the bird feeders.
"Can we talk?" Mario asked.
Julia eyed him with uncertainty. She couldn't imagine what he'd want to talk about after the way she'd reacted to his kiss. "Sure, come on in," she replied, "but you need to know in advance that Irina's here. She's in the bathroom right now. We've been working on sign language, but she'll be leaving in a few minutes, when Grace comes for her."
Mario stepped inside, and as in the past, he stood by the door, looking as if he didn't know what to do next, so Julia said, "If you want to sit in the recliner, when Irina comes out of the bathroom, she can show you what she's learned. Sergei told me she once talked, and stopped after they lost their parents, but I'm thinking she still can't hear. She's very bright though, and learns quickly. I'm having trouble keeping just a step ahead of her,"
The toilet flushed, and moments later Irina rushed out, th
en stopped and stared at Mario.
Julia patted the couch for Irina to sit beside her again, then signed to her, "The man's name is Mario." Opening the book, she pointed to the letters, M-A-R-I-O, then fingersigned them.
Irina studied the letters for a moment, and having already learned to sign the letters A, I, and R from her own name, she signed the phrase, "Hello, Mario. How are you?"
"That's wonderful!" Julia exclaimed, forgetting momentarily that Irina couldn't hear. Turning to Mario, she said, "Smile and give her a thumbs up. It's not sign language, but it gets the point across. I'm still a little rusty with this."
Mario gave Irina a thumbs up, to which Irina signed, "You're very pretty."
Julia laughed and pointed to an illustration in the book, and signed, "Mario is a man. Men are handsome, not pretty."
Irina laughed and signed to Mario, "You're very handsome."
Mario looked at Julia for an explanation. "She said you're handsome."
Mario laughed. "I guess that's the best she can do, since the word 'hit man' probably isn't in the book."
"Beauty is in the eyes of the beholder, and from the start, I saw a very handsome hit man," Julia replied.
Before Mario could respond, Grace walked past the window and waved, and Julia went to the door and opened it for her to enter. After looking at Mario in surprise, then at Julia in curiosity, Grace caught Irina's attention, and made the motion of holding the reins of a horse.
Irina looked at Julia, to which Julia signed, "Go ride the horse. We will learn more later."
As before, Irina understood. After Julia helped her on with her jacket, she gave Irina a hug, and raising her hand with her middle and fourth fingers bent down toward her palm, and her pinky, index finger, and thumb outstretched, she signed to Irina, "I love you."
And Irina smiled and signed back, "I love you."
Grace took Irina's hand, and after she closed the door behind them, Julia said to Mario, in a wistful voice, "I wish I could have Irina longer. She's learning fast, and she's so eager to communicate, I know we could be carrying on regular conversations in no time."
Finding Justice (Dancing Moon Ranch Book 12) Page 7