I don’t mean to close my eyes, but the events of the last few days are catching up with me and Ursa feels so gloriously solid against my body. It might be because I can’t see her, but I hear her slow exhale as she relaxes against us. As if she’s setting down a burden she’s been carrying for a while.
She’s so strong all the time. Does she allow herself to lean on anyone? It’s not my right to ask—to demand that—not when I won’t be here after this week, but I hope she lets Alaric in, at least. I stroke her thigh in slow motions, giving comfort in the only way I think she’ll allow from me. A soft touch. A gentle slide of my skin against hers.
Ursa sifts her fingers through my hair slowly, soothingly. This whole moment settles something in my chest even more than the sex has. I’m enjoying my time with them. I don’t want it to stop. Any of it.
Time passes slowly, the strange cocktail of adrenaline and lust wearing off and leaving me aching and strangely sated. My ass still stings and my pussy is sore in a delicious kind of way, but it’s my soul that feels the most exhausted. The highs have been too high. The lows, too low. I don’t know which way is up any longer. I’m a deep sea diver that’s gotten confused and lost. I have a fifty-fifty chance of swimming for the surface. An equal chance to descend to depths I’ll never return from.
I should be more scared.
I know that, rationally. I am in the home of a territory leader in Carver City, one who’s already stated that she wants revenge against my father. Just because she’s kind to me doesn’t mean she won’t enjoy me for this week and then dump my body on his doorstep at the end of it. I know that, but I can’t get the fear to stick. There’s some bone-deep belief that Ursa won’t harm me, and I can’t seem to reason my way past it.
It’s too late, anyway. I’m here and I’ve agreed to uphold my part of the contract. If she’s going to turn on me at the end of it, if taking my virginity wasn’t enough to capture her revenge… There’s little I can do about it.
Or maybe that’s just what I tell myself so I don’t have to think about escaping. Maybe I’m just so weak that I am only too happy to cuddle up next to my father’s enemy because she showed me a little bit of kindness. Because she talks sweetly to me and touches me like I might be precious to her.
It’s a lie. It has to be.
I’ve already been sucked in once by Alaric. Surely I’m smart enough not to make the same mistake with Ursa?
The thought makes me open my eyes and sit up. I don’t look at her. I can’t, or I’ll be enraptured by her again and forget about the distance I desperately need to maintain. I clear my throat. “I, uh, I need a shower.”
“In a moment.” She takes my wrist in a gentle but immovable grip. “You tensed up, darling. Thinking dark thoughts?”
Again, honesty pours forth despite my best efforts. “Are you going to kill me and dump me on my father’s doorstep at the end of this?”
“What?” She sounds so genuinely shocked, I forget myself and look at her. She masks the shock quickly, but I know what I see. Ursa shakes her head. “What motivation could I possibly have to go through all this only to kill you?”
“You hate my father. I still don’t know your side of what happened, but you went through such lengths to get revenge. Surely you’re not going to stop with giving me orgasms.”
Now Alaric sits up, though he’s moving a little gingerly. “Ursa isn’t going to kill you.”
“She’s right,” Ursa says slowly, almost as if she’s contemplating it. “A life for a life, so to speak.”
Alaric shoots her a sharp look. “Stop it. She doesn’t know you’re just fucking with her.”
“Am I?”
“Ursa.”
“Oh, fine.” She clasps his chin and gives him a quick kiss before turning to me. “My goal is to cause your father pain—not start a war between Olympus and Carver City. If you die, he’ll do everything in his power to make me pay, even if he has to raze both cities to accomplish it.”
I stare. “The way you say that makes me think you actually considered killing me at one point.”
“Barely considered, darling. As I said, it served no one in the end.” Ursa glances at Alaric, seems to take in his tense look, and sighs. “Fucking you is as good as killing you. You consented to this, consented to it from beginning to end and with eyes wide open. You knew Alaric and I wanted to cause your father pain, and you went forward with it anyway. There wasn’t complete honesty, but there also weren’t truly lies, either. You knew who we were to him.” She shrugs. “Your father will never forgive you.”
Pain lances through me. It’s the truth. I know it’s the truth even as part of me wants to deny it, to claim that love will conquer all. Really, I’m not that naive. “You can’t know that.”
“Can’t I?” Ursa arches a brow. “Go ahead. Call him now and see if he picks up for his traitorous slut of a daughter.” The words have no heat, not until I imagine my father saying the same words in anger.
I flinch. “So you’ll use me and discard me.”
“Darling, you’re walking with over half a million dollars. You can go anywhere, can decide to be whoever you’d like. I’m leaving you better than I found you.”
I can decide to be whoever I like. The thought brings another on its heels, one that I’ll never voice, no matter how addicting it is to tell Ursa the truth.
I want to be yours.
I’m not hers. Not in the way Alaric obviously is. Wanting that is about as effective as wishing on stars. It will never happen, not when she looks at me and sees her revenge against my father instead of a person. If she’s kind enough while doing it? That changes nothing.
Ursa takes a slow breath. “Come on, darlings. Let’s get you cleaned and rested for tonight.”
I almost don’t ask, but I’m desperate for something else to focus on beyond my realization of how far in over my head I am. “What’s tonight?”
Ursa rises and waits for us to join her on our feet. “Tonight, we’re going to the Underworld and playing a little game.”
A little game. Because that’s all this is to her—a game. She only chose me so she could punish my father, not because she actually wants me. I bite down my disappointment and follow her down the halls and through her bedroom to the master bath. The tub is more hot tub than bath, a deeply recessed area with jets and seating for four. She leans over, giving me an excellent view of her ass, and turns the taps on. “It will be a moment. Stay here.” Then she walks away, leaving me and Alaric alone.
“I’m sorry.”
I look at him and my heart gives an uncomfortable thump. Things would be so much simpler if I could just turn off my feelings for him. For both of them. It doesn’t seem to matter how angry I am, how clear the evidence that he lied… I still care.
But that doesn’t mean I can let go of what he did.
I sigh. “You’re not sorry. Not really. You feel guilty, but that’s not the same thing. You wouldn’t do anything differently if you had a chance to go back.”
He starts to argue but finally shakes his head. “Maybe I’d tell you the truth from the beginning.”
“It wouldn’t work.” It pains me to admit it, but this strange addiction to honesty continues even when Ursa isn’t around. “If you told me what my father was while I still lived in his house, I don’t know if I’d believe you. Even if I did, I can’t guarantee that I’d agree to help you hurt him.”
“Zuri, you didn’t agree to help us hurt him,” he says it gently, as if trying to reassure me.
“Don’t do that.” I shove my hair back from my face. “Don’t give me an out. You might have helped manipulate me into making that choice, but ultimately it was my choice. Just like it was my choice to fuck you while Ursa was on the phone with him.”
Alaric holds perfectly still, watching me with those clear blue eyes. “You’re going to have to clarify what you’re getting at because I don’t understand.”
I take a deep breath. “What I’m saying is that I und
erstand why you did what you did. I’m not giving you a free pass, but I get it. If I were in your position, I can’t say with any confidence that I wouldn’t do exactly the same thing. It wasn’t personal.”
“Zuri.”
I really should remind him that he’s not a friend and only my friends call me that. It feels like a lie, though. I turn, and Alaric catches my hands. He’s still moving stiffly, but his grip isn’t weak. He gives me a light squeeze. “If I’d known you, I never would have agreed to play things out this way. I like you, and you deserve better than to play the part of a pawn.”
“Yes, I do.” I look down at our joined hands. “I’m still very angry, but it’s all mixed up in other feelings. It’s confusing.”
“Welcome to spending time with Ursa.” He chuckles. “It will be okay. It’s only tonight and another five days.”
The reminder feels like it’s weighing down my entire body. “Right. Five days.” Only a fool would beg to stay beyond that. As Ursa said, she’s leaving me better off than she found me. At least materially.
It doesn’t change the fact that I’ve sacrificed everything for people who will move on with their lives together and forget that I ever existed.
Chapter 21
Alaric
I’m doing a shit job of comforting Zuri. It’s like following the steps to a dance I’ve never heard of, and I’m fumbling it. I take a deep breath. “Look, I’m not good at this.”
“I never would have guessed.” She arches one of those perfectly shaped brows. “Though you’re going to have to be more specific about what you mean this time.”
That startles a chuckle out of me. “You know, you always surprise me when you slide in the knife like that.”
Zuri blinks those big dark eyes. “I’m sure I have no idea what you’re talking about.”
I almost let it go, but there’s still something brittle in her that I can’t leave alone. “I’ve been on my own since I was a teenager. My mom was…” How to describe Maura Paine. “She’s one of those people that shouldn’t have had kids. She was driven out of Sabine Valley when she chose my father over her family, and then the bastard barely stuck around long enough to knock her up. He left her alone to raise me in a city that wasn’t hers.”
“I’m sorry.”
I wave that away. “I don’t want your pity. I’m just trying to explain. I was on my own a lot growing up, and I learned that the best person to look out for what I wanted was me. I made my way well enough, but when she asked me to do this one thing that might make her happy, that might get her back in with her family…” I shrug. “I did it, even though it was reckless and dangerous. I didn’t look for another way to make that money. I wanted the task complete and her out of my life, so I went the fastest route to the money. And I paid the price.”
She wraps her arms around herself. We’re standing here shivering in the bathroom while the tub fills. This is ridiculous. I hold out a hand. “Come here, Zuri.”
I don’t really expect her to obey. She’s told me she hates me more times in the last two days than I want to count. She won’t forgive me, and I can’t really claim I deserve her forgiveness. Why the hell would she accept this from me?
But Zuri finally slips her hand into mine and lets me tug her close and wrap my arms around her. We’re naked and I can’t quite stifle my physical response, but this isn’t about sex right now. “I’m an asshole, Zuri. I’m never not going to be an asshole. But I regret that you got hurt in the process, and that’s the truth.”
She carefully lays her cheek against my chest. “I’m still angry, but I can’t pretend it’s just because you lied.” She gives a shuddery little sigh that’s too close to a sob for my liking. “I’m just a little overwhelmed.”
I rest my chin on her head. “I don’t think Ursa plans to just kick you to the curb without helping you out a little. Even if she does, I’ll make sure you land on your feet.” It hurts to say the words. It’s only been two days with this woman, but I feel like we’ve shown each other more truths in the last forty-eight hours than we did the entire time we were dancing around that bullshit back in Olympus. Zuri isn’t only a sweet, biddable daughter, wreathed in innocence. She’s strong and a little mean and rolls with the punches better than I could have imagined. I like her.
I like her more than I could have anticipated.
Ursa walks back into the room, her hair hidden beneath a floral head wrap and a silky purple robe tied around her body. She arches an eyebrow at me. “The tub’s half full. Get in, darlings.”
I guide Zuri up the few steps and into the tub. The water is hot enough to make my breath hiss out, but after the first shock of it, it feels amazing. Maybe I should let go of her, but I pull her down into my lap as I settle. I half expect Zuri to tell me where to shove it, but she settles back against me with a little sigh.
Ursa gives us a long look. “You were both very serious when I came back in here.”
Zuri tenses, but I answer first. “I told her that we wouldn’t just kick her to the curb as soon as the seventh day is finished. Even with all that money, she’s in a new city where she doesn’t know anyone. The very least we can do is make sure she gets where she’s going or help her find a place in Carver City if she’s staying here.” I can’t quite stop myself from holding Zuri closer. Fuck, I’m not ready to let her go.
Five days. Really, more than five days because we still have tonight. In the past, a week has been more than enough time for me to get anyone out of my system. Working at the Underworld, having my deal with Hades, it was like heaven the first few years. I loved the work, loved scening and fucking the most powerful and beautiful people in Carver City. It wasn’t until later that the novelty started to wear thin. I have no qualms with playing the delightful toy, but that’s all I was to them. That’s all I’d ever be.
Until Ursa. It started off as simply sex with her, just like with everyone else, but somewhere along the way we both forgot to maintain a careful distance. Somewhere along the way, we fell for each other.
Something strange passes over Ursa’s face, but she finally nods. “Of course we’ll see Zurielle safely to wherever she’s landing. It’s no hardship.”
“Thank you.” I don’t have to see Zuri’s face to know that she’s speaking through her teeth. At a faint nod from Ursa, I move Zuri, shifting her around until she’s straddling me. She allows it, but she’s frowning as she settles back onto my lap. “What are you doing?”
“You’re unhappy.”
“Thank you for telling me how I feel.”
I kind of enjoy the fact that she saves this tartness just for me. Ursa gets the sweet and I get the sour, and I like Zuri’s duality on that note a whole hell of a lot. I lean back a little against the jets and rest my hands on her hips. “Last night, you couldn’t wait for this week to be over and for you to be free of us. Now you tense up every time we bring it up.”
“Stop it, Alaric.”
“I haven’t done anything.”
She presses her hands to my chest but doesn’t put any force behind it. Still, there’s something akin to panic written across her features. “You have my body for the next five and a half days. Be content with that.”
“Zuri—”
“That’s enough, lover.”
Zuri wiggles out of my hold and practically launches herself from the bath. She accepts the towel Ursa wraps around her and then dodges her touch, too. “I’m going to take a shower in the spare room.”
“Wait, I—” I bite back the rest of my words at Ursa’s sharp look. We both watch Zuri stride out of the bathroom in silence. I start to stand, but Ursa motions me back down.
“You need a longer soak or you’re going to be even stiffer later.” She props her hip on the counter and looks down at me. “What was that?”
“What was what?”
“Don’t play coy with me. Last night, you couldn’t get away from her fast enough and now you’re practically begging for this to extend past the week. She di
dn’t change her feelings on this. You did. I was never going to let the girl drown once we were done with her and you know it.”
Yeah, I did know it. Ursa can be cruel and manipulative and downright vicious when the situation calls for it, but she doesn’t harm innocents for the sake of doing it. What we’ve done to Zuri can be called harm, though, so I don’t know where her line is any more. “I wanted you to say it. I know you’ll keep your word.”
“Do you?” She crosses her arms under her breasts. “I think you’re not being honest with yourself.”
“I’m always honest with myself.” Even to my ears, my protest sounds weak as hell.
“Tell me what you want, Alaric.” She says it quietly, a request more than a command.
Because of that, I’m helpless to resist. “I want you.” I swallow hard. “And I want to keep her.”
Ursa shakes her head, looking tired in a way I’ve never seen before. Tired in a way she’s never let me see. “You’re asking for the moon, lover. She might enjoy what we do, but she’s not for keeping. Not for people like us.”
My heart aches. I hold out my hand. “Join me?”
For a moment, I think she might say no, but she finally shrugs out of the robe and climbs into the bath with me, settling astride my lap. I draw her down for a kiss, and she allows it for a few beats before she leans back, kisses my forehead, and moves to the seat across from me. “Some things you can’t charm your way out of—or into. This situation is one of them.”
I want to fire back an argument, but I make myself slow down enough to consider her words. To consider what she has and hasn’t said. “You want to keep her, too.”
For the first time since I met her, Ursa won’t quite meet my eyes. “I meant what I said. That girl has been protected and cosseted her entire life. Even Triton knew enough to shield her from the darker aspects of what he does. She’d hate it here if we tried to keep her. She’d hate us.”
The Sea Witch: A Wicked Villains Novel Page 16