by S M Mala
‘Ask how many girls he screwed behind your back,’ added Stan.
‘He did what?’ shouted Maddy, glaring at Roland. ‘Did you sleep with any other women while you were with me?’
‘Maddy, don’t take this the wrong way, but are you okay?’ Roland asked, looking confused. ‘You look like you’re talking to yourself and I know you’re a bit quirky.’
‘Quirky?’ she snapped. ‘I’m not!’
‘You are,’ giggled Stan.
‘How dare you?’
‘Mention Fiona and Karen and see what he says,’ whispered Stan.
‘Don’t tell her that!’ hissed Ted.
‘You both knew?’ she said, seeing she had been kept in the dark. ‘When did the cheating happen?’
‘Look Mads, it was a few months ago, and it didn’t mean anything,’ Roland replied, smirking. ‘It’s not like it is between us.’
Her three-way conversation wasn’t going smoothly.
She looked at the gorgeous, sexy man who was an out and out waste of time and user.
It was such a shame.
‘If you see me walking down the street and I start to cry each time we meet, then-.’
‘Madeleine! Don’t go using a line from a song! Stop it and walk out!’ squirmed Ted. ‘Right now.’
‘Oh, shit!’ bellowed Stan. ‘She’s going to say it.’
‘Walk on by,’ she sighed, hearing one man groan and the other one laugh out loudly. ‘Or in other words, piss off!’
‘That’s more like it,’ sighed Stan.
‘Baby, you’re acting a little odd,’ Roland said, trying to touch her as she slapped him away.
‘Leave me alone,’ she said, taking her rucksack and putting it on her back. ‘We’re finished, and luckily we were safe, and didn’t take any risks. I’d hate to think what’s fermented in your ball sacks! Probably a hive of infection! An incubator for diseases!’
Then she heard a roar of laughter from Ted and Stan as Phyllis barked away.
‘And people say I’m mad,’ she hissed, storming out of the bar. ‘Seriously?’
‘Madeleine Berkeley!’
Ted shouted out when she walked into their local pub twenty minutes later. ‘You do pick them, don’t you? And I told you not to use any song lines.’
He was nearly six-foot-tall with dark blond hair, green eyes and the most endearing smile in the world. When he walked into the room, everyone stopped to stare. Ted was a hunk, but she didn’t think of him in that way.
To her, he was just Ted, her friend.
‘What a way to spend a Sunday afternoon!’ she said, shaking her head. ‘I’m going to get drunk.’
Then she spotted Stan sitting on the sofa with Phyllis next to him. All he did was look at her, and she went bright red with embarrassment.
But her heart was beating fast as it did almost every time she looked at him.
There was something about Stan she couldn’t put her finger on, though she’d like to put her hands on him, more to the point.
His looks were opposite to Ted’s. He was a few inches shorter, slim with dark brown hair cut quite short around the sides, long on the top and hazel green eyes. Always he had a hat on.
Maddy didn’t know why because he wasn’t going bald.
He had an unassuming presence but seemed to be observing and taking a mental note of what was going on around him.
As much as she tried not to like him, she did. With his funny little quips and cheeky smile, Stanley Franks was hard to resist.
And Maddy suspected he knew it.
Stasia was walking out of the ladies and looked at her sympathetically.
She was Stanley’s twin.
They looked similar though they weren’t identical. She had the same colouring and was a girl, obviously.
And as Stan had pointed out time and time again, there was no psychic link. He hadn’t the foggiest what his sister was thinking. Stasia was very pleased she didn’t know what was going on in Stan’s mind, as she had pointed out, saying it was swamped with words, women, and wine.
Walking to the sofa and taking her usual seat next to Phyllis, Maddy patted her head as the dog sat on her lap. Stan flicked her a sideways glance and looked at his phone.
She knew he was dying to say something but then Ted turned up with a large glass of rose wine. Both the men looked at her then at each other. Stasia sat down, holding Ted’s hand, making Maddy smile.
‘Barking Maddy, words fail me,’ began Stan as he turned to face her.
‘Considering that’s what you do for a living, it’s a bit silly,’ Maddy replied lightly, with a smile. She held onto the dog knowing what was going to come next. ‘But not for long, knowing you.’
‘You pay a man to spend time with you and probably have sex?’
‘It sounds worse than it is,’ she replied, avoiding eye contact and looking at Phyllis for some support. Her cheeks were burning hot from the embarrassment. ‘Well, not all the time.’
The dog’s big brown’s eyes showed the same disappointed as her owner.
‘Maddy, he was using you. He knew you had money and was living the good life,’ Ted gently added, looking at her with a grimace. ‘You don’t need to buy friendship let alone guitars. He knew you were comfortably off and wanted a piece of it.’
‘Yes, but she wants to buy sex, which is interesting,’ Stan added, smiling wryly. He then jotted something down in his notebook. ‘Maybe a little desperate.’
‘I’m not desperate!’
‘What are they talking about?’ Stasia asked, shaking her head. ‘Has something happened?’
‘I dumped Roland, but I’m so useless at it, Ted helped, and Stan was there.’
‘Good grief!’ groaned Stasia. ‘Don’t listen to anything my brother says, he has no bloody idea when it comes to women.’
‘Was Roland cheating on me?’ she asked, eyeing them with suspicion. ‘Who are Fiona and Karen?’
Again, the men looked at each other as Stasia frowned, shaking her head.
‘When did you find out?’ Stasia asked.
‘Found out?’ yelped Maddy, looking at her. ‘You knew too?’
‘Oh Maddy,’ Stasia replied, moving her chair closer. ‘He wasn’t good at hiding it.’
‘Ah.’ She felt deflated and realised a lot of things hadn’t been relayed to her.
‘Sometimes Maddy, you just don’t see things when they’re obvious,’ Ted said, touching her hand gently. ‘That’s what happens.’
She slapped his hand away and noticed Stan’s smile had slipped a little before he wrote something else down.
‘Everyone will be turning up soon. I’m going. I don’t feel sociable.’
Glumly, she stood up, knocking back her drink.
‘Sociable?’ Kevin said, the landlord of the pub with thinning ginger hair, taking some empty glasses away and moving his large tummy out of the way as he reached over. ‘You’re my star crowd puller. Not every Sunday you see one of my clientele dressed up like a dog for lunch, do you?’ He then patted her head then chucked. ‘Dog’s dinner!’
‘You better not be implying that about me,’ she said with a grimace then smiled.
‘Maddy, Sundays wouldn’t be the same without you.’
‘At least you like me.’
Stan started to laugh as she frowned in response. Stasia and Ted looked lovingly into each other’s eyes before smiling at Maddy. It was when she took the opportunity to pull the string that made her tale wiggle and did it in Stan’s direction.
It was supposed to be an angry wag, but it swished instead.
She flicked him a glance as he smiled.
It was her subtle way of flirting which seemed to amuse him but little else.
Maddy let out a little huff knowing it still wasn’t working.
‘Your friends don’t like me being around,’ Maddy mumbled, looking at Phyllis. ‘Only you do and Ted.’ The dog barked back. ‘I should just arrange to meet with you guys for lunch only.’
�
��Don’t be like that,’ Ted said, moving to the couch. He then yanked her arm to sit down. ‘They do like you. I don’t know why you think that.’
‘I like you,’ Stasia said, smiling sweetly at her.
‘You have no choice,’ added Stan, smiling at Maddy. ‘She comes with the man.’
‘And that’s a bad thing?’ Folding her arms, she shook her head. ‘They don’t like me, Ted. I don’t get invited when they have parties and barbeques. Most of them utter two words to me. Hello and goodbye.’ Maddy bit her lip knowing that Ted was fumbling around for something to say.
‘You’re lucky. They’re pretty dull, their parties.’
‘That’s not the point,’ she replied seeing Ted guiltily blush in response. ‘You know I don’t like being around people who don’t like me. I’m telling you how I feel. They’re not friendly and never have been, only when they want a favour.’
‘That’s you being polite,’ mumbled Stan. ‘Some of them are right little fuck-.’
‘Stanley! Don’t be rude!’ snapped Stasia. ‘They’re Ted’s friends.’
‘They are a little bit clique, to say the least,’ Stan replied starting to grin at Maddy slyly. ‘I’m surprised you haven’t said anything.’
‘I wouldn’t do that as they’re Ted’s friends,’ she replied, shaking her head. ‘They speak to me like I’ve got special needs.’
‘Are you surprised?’ quipped Stan, starting to laugh.
‘Don’t be mean to Maddy,’ said Stasia. ‘She has a point.’
‘And Eugene’s annoying,’ continued Maddy. ‘Always making some comment about how I’m dressed or what I’m doing, even the things I say.’
‘That’s because he has fancied you since school and is waiting for you to go out with him,’ laughed Ted, pinching her cheek. ‘Who would have thought Maddy would play hard to get?’
‘What’s that supposed to mean?’ she said, slapping his hand away. ‘I have standards, and he doesn’t meet them.’
‘Really?’ whispered Stan. ‘What about Roland?’
‘You’ve only known me for a matter of months so don’t go making any judgments.’
‘Some of her exes have been, how should I say?’ mumbled Ted.
‘Then don’t.’ Maddy glared at her friend. ‘In an hour we’ll be deluged with all these people wanting to be friends with Ted and having to put up with me. As per usual I will be pushed to the side and ignored.’ Then she whispered so only Stan could hear. ‘It’s like looking in from the outside. That’s what it feels like.’
‘I certainly know that feeling,’ sighed Stan who, from his expression, had an idea of what she was saying. ‘But you come as a team, you and Ted, don’t you?’
‘It’s like Ted and I are twins though we don’t look alike or are related.’
‘Nice summary,’ whispered Stan as she peeked around Ted to glance over at him. ‘Could be the others, his friends, think you’re a little odd.’
‘I am not!’
‘You’re not that normal compared to most people.’
‘But that’s what makes her unique and loveable,’ said Ted, putting his arm around Maddy. ‘I’ve known her since she was little, and she hasn’t changed at all.’
‘There lies the problem,’ Stan whispered, and she caught his words. ‘You still dress like a little girl, and that’s odd for someone your age.’
‘I like my dresses and ballet pumps,’ she replied, sticking her nose up in the air. ‘It’s fun, and life should be like that.’
‘You dress like a six-year-old girl going to a birthday party,’ he sniggered. ‘I’m sure there’s some fetish explanation.’
Maddy frowned at him in response.
‘I think you’re wonderful and never change. The way you dress and how you are is amazing and makes everyone happy. You’re like a breath of fresh air,’ Stasia said, standing up, looking at her brother. ‘We don’t all have to be mean, moody and cynical to boot.’
‘Well, I’m certainly not that!’ replied Maddy cheerfully and was met with a growl from Stan. ‘I eat Cheerios for breakfast!’
‘And therein lies the problem,’ he mumbled, trying not to grin. ‘Happy cereals shaped like polka dots. That sums you up.’
‘There are other people who are far friendlier than some of those guys, especially the women.’ Stasia then looked at Ted. ‘And Ted? Well, he just attracts people.’
‘They’re never horrible to him,’ Maddy said, seeing her friend’s cheeky grin. ‘Everyone loves Ted because he’s very clever, successful and handsome.’
‘I know,’ he sighed, kissing Maddy’s cheek. ‘Plus, a CEO of a lingerie firm. It sucks!’
‘I’ll do your job any time,’ laughed Stan.
‘Nope, it’s all mine,’ Ted said, and she noticed Stasia cast him a warning glance. ‘Though all those models are far too skinny for me.’
‘Ted’s friends have been very friendly to me, my friends and even my squirt of a brother, and his mates,’ sighed Stasia.
‘That’s because they think you’re both interesting. You’re like some clever PR person running her own agency and Stan write’s ‘Frankly Speaking’ which personally, I have heard he is quite rude about people.’
‘Have you read it?’ he asked, defensively. ‘I’m only saying what’s on my mind.’
‘Frankly, you shouldn’t relay all that information, especially about women. It’s quite unnerving what goes on in your head, don’t you think?’
‘You can say that again,’ laughed out Stasia.
‘And who’s the person you go on about in your column? The one you want to strangle on a regular basis. You call them Lippy or something.’
‘How would you know that if you don’t read it?’ he asked accusingly.
‘I hear the others talking on Sunday then going quiet when I try to eavesdrop.’ She had a sudden thought. ‘It better not be me!’
‘Like it would!’ He giggled then shot her a guilty glance. ‘You think I’m writing about you? That’s an ego you’ve got there.’
‘Are you?’
‘You’re paranoid.’
‘I’m very interesting.’
‘You are something that’s for sure. Do you think I’d waste column inches on you?’
‘Well, I don’t know!’ Maddy folded her arms and glared, blowing her stray curls out of her face. ‘But I’m not irritating like you say that Lippy person is.’
‘Lots of people find it enjoyable as I have a massive following on the net, especially over the last six months. I’m also getting lots of extra work from it.’ He smirked smugly at her before slyly looking away. ‘And then there’s you.’
‘That’s maybe why they don’t find me appealing, Ted’s mates. Working for a hospice and trying to raise money for poorly and terminally ill children’s care isn’t their thing.’
‘Because, barking Maddy, it’s one of those topics people don’t want to talk about,’ Stan replied as Ted got to his feet. ‘It’s something we don’t want to face up to.’
‘Charitable, as I have been told my job is and even charming.’ Maddy stroked Phyllis and looked at her before whispering. ‘I know condescending twits when I meet them.’
‘Madeleine, you're mean because you’re in a mood, and you’re probably hungry. You know what you’re like when you haven’t eaten,’ said Ted, shaking his head from side to side. ‘They’re not all that. We should be celebrating your close call regarding the rock star.’ Then he laughed. ‘You are funny about his ball sacks being an incubator for germs.’
‘A gem!’ Stan burst out laughing again, writing something into his battered leather notebook.
‘I’m ordering you lunch then you can go home and sulk,’ Ted said and walked off with Stasia. ‘A kiddie’s portion of hamburger with no tomato?’
‘Yes please,’ Maddy replied, clapping her hands in delight. ‘You can’t knock a good burger for Sunday lunch, can you?’ Then she nuzzled with Phyllis. ‘And you can have some too.’
‘Why do you ha
ve a kid’s meal? Why can’t you have an adult one?’
‘I have a poor digestive system,’ she lied, not wanting to tell him her real reasons.
Maddy knew the calorie count, and portion sizes were manageable. It was her little quirk to keep some control on how she ate. Once it was a problem, but not now.
She had it covered.
‘You really are a little irritant, you know that?’ Stan whispered, moving closer as she glared at him but all she was met with was a gentle smile. ‘What person dresses up in a dog suit to break up with someone?’
‘I was at the hospice this morning, visiting the kids and bringing them cheer,’ she replied with a grin. ‘I didn’t have enough time to change.’
‘Sometimes I think that suit is like your protective armour. You can easily change out of it to come to lunch every Sunday, but you choose not to.’
‘I like it.’
‘Pull off the hood so I can see your mop of shaggy dog, black curls, that’s when you look quite cute.’
‘You think so?’ She blushed at his part compliment. ‘I feel comfortable in this outfit.’
‘You’re not a dog.’
‘You call me barking Maddy.’
‘That’s done with affection,’ he said, but she didn’t believe it for one moment.
‘And what about your hats? What do you always wear one? I think that’s a defensive mechanism,’ she replied, flicking the rim with her paw. ‘And you’re not even bald.’
‘They’re hats,’ he replied with a smirk. ‘Nothing to question my general mental health.’
‘I hope you’re not implying-.’
‘Maddy, you need to be more cautious when it comes to people. You’re too trustworthy hence you get taken for a ride.’ He leaned forward and flicked one of her ears. ‘That’s not good.’
‘I don’t get taken for a ride.’
‘Roland?’
‘I admit that, but he was hot, wasn’t he?’ She looked at Stan, and there was no response. ‘He liked me.’
‘For your wallet.’
‘I think that’s unfair. I cheered him up no end, so he said.’
‘He was fleecing you out of your cash you were probably making him deliriously happy. You can’t buy friendship.’