by S M Mala
But life had a cruel twist and a child she thought would get better was then taking their last breath in one of the rooms.
And her deepest wish was never to go to that part of the hospice to see Dora or the kids she was close to.
Her friend was in the part where patients stayed when their parents or loved ones needed some rest from looking after them. It was a great place to be because the children and teenagers would run riot because they were getting some freedom from not seeing the people they cared about, care for them.
It was a mutual parting.
‘We could visit,’ Maddy whispered seeing Dora smile. ‘I bet he wants to see you.’
‘He emailed saying he did want to see me, but we might get caught by Dr. Bob.’
‘Dr. Bob.’ Maddy grinned thinking about the dashing doctor who all the mothers, and probably some fathers, adored. ‘He’s okay. It’s that he doesn’t want to see others get upset.’
‘My mum says he’s dating someone that works here. You know his second wife, the one who is supposed to be some model or something, she wants him back.’
‘He shouldn’t have remarried so soon,’ Maddy said, shaking her head. ‘That’s when you make mistakes, on the rebound.’
‘Are you on the rebound from Roland?’
‘You must be joking! My bank account is trying to recover!’ she laughed out as Dora joined in. ‘The Trevi Fountain and I have a date for me to find true love. Worse comes to worse, there’s a pond in the park I can throw money in if things get that desperate.’
‘I think, Maddy,’ Dora whispered. ‘You will find someone wonderful. You deserve to.’
‘Thank you. And when I hear the words to ‘The look of love’ by Dusty Springfield floating in my head as I look into their eyes, they’re stuffed because I’m going to get them. And mercy on their soul, that’s what I say. Now let’s go on a mission.’
Maddy checked out the cylinder and mask they would have to take with them on their travels. It was only a few feet away, but she didn’t want to tire Dora out. Of late she had less energy, but that was down to picking up a chest infection a few weeks back. Even Maddy washed her hands three times before entering the building, not wanting Dora to get sick again.
‘And you’re okay about seeing him?’ she asked, knowing it might be hard. Maddy had heard that Jerome had lost his hair again due to the chemotherapy. The last thing she wanted was for Dora to get upset. ‘He might look a little poorly.’
‘This is a hospice, Maddy. Everyone doesn’t look well,’ she replied, in her mature manner, making Maddy smile.
‘Should I get a wheelchair, so we can have some fun?’
‘I’d like to walk.’
Seeing Dora was trying to be more adult than she, Maddy nodded and checked her friend’s dress and bow in her hair.
‘You do look very pretty,’ she said, reassuringly and held her hand.
Dora was very petite for her age and looked more like ten and less like twelve going on thirteen, but she had maturity beyond her years. Maddy knew that when she was warned the girl’s survival was low, luckily due to a medical breakthrough and Dora’s determination, she proved all the doctors and consultants wrong.
There was no way Dora wasn’t going to live the life she wanted. And like Maddy, she raised money taking part in fundraisers. If ever there was an inspiration, it was Dora.
Opening the door and making sure Dora stepped out, they walked down the corridor, hearing the chatter and laughter.
Maddy stopped outside the room Jerome was in and looked at Dora. As she was about to open her mouth to say something, she was beaten to it.
‘I know,’ the girl said, looking up at Maddy. ‘It might be upsetting for me, but I’ve got to make sure he can’t see it.’
‘Dora, he doesn’t look the same as he did a few weeks ago,’ Maddy gently replied.
‘You know, when I’m ill, I’d prefer it if people tell me the truth and showed concern. I hate it when they’re trying to be brave, and I’m the one who’s scared.’ Dora blinked her big brown eyes at her. ‘It’s a game, and I don’t know who it’s for.’
‘It’s for you,’ she replied, knowing that’s how she had behaved over the years. ‘To make sure you’re not scared.’
‘But how scary is it to see your parents and the adults act like emotionless zombies?’
‘I hadn’t thought of it like that.’
‘You have to have a good cry now and then,’ huffed Dora. ‘You’ve got to get it all out.’
‘If people are worried, they don’t want to show the person that’s ill their real concerns.’
‘Don’t you think we know? I know? I can certainly understand when my mum comes back into the room looking shocked. Thank goodness for Liam who is oblivious to most things.’
‘He’s nine years old. And he’s male, so that says a lot,’ Maddy replied sheepishly.
‘And you, Maddy. You always look how I feel, and that’s good.’
She held her breath for a moment and though hard.
‘That’s not how I intend it to be. I don’t want to show anyone I’m upset.’
‘It’s because it’s evident. You just can’t lie about your emotions.’
‘Maybe that’s where I’m going wrong in my love life,’ she mumbled, seeing Dora start to smile. ‘They can see that I don’t like them or that I do!’
‘You are funny!’ Dora said, squeezing her arm. ‘Shall we go in?’
‘You first.’
Maddy knocked on the door.
‘Come in,’ Jerome said, and Maddy smiled at how Dora’s face lit up.
‘Young love,’ whispered Maddy who was nudged by Dora while stepping in the room.
It was the hardest love when the children knew they might not see each other again, purely due to whether they survived their health issues.
And to Maddy, that was the hardest thing for her to overcome, when one of the children died because she, deep down, couldn’t cope with the pain of losing yet another innocent life.
It’s what bugged her about Dora, whether she would survive.
Most nights she prayed that she would.
That’s what kept her going in her job, to know Dora would come out the other side alive.
‘Can’t you just stop?’
Stan asked, sitting in her living room as Maddy and Phyllis ran around the table, playing. ‘You’re giving me a headache.’
‘Do you or do you not want me to look after her today?’ Maddy laughed out, running the other way and watching Phyllis follow her around. ‘This is fun!’
‘I take her to the park for exercise. I don’t expect her to get more here.’
‘You’re no fun!’
Maddy then stopped as Phyllis barked and jumped up at her. She bent down and scooped the dog into her arms, trying to catch her breath.
Stan was looking at her with his usual confused expression before he started to examine her home.
Maddy was very proud of her house as it was as she wanted.
A blue sofa by the window so she could watch people walking past. There were a larger sofa and an armchair on the other side of the room, near the fireplace she never used, that proudly supported her large plasma screen. The dining table was a big wooden one with benches either side and proper chairs at the top and bottom (her parents forced her to get them as they said it was more comfortable for when they visited).
The kitchen was open, and it was a place for entertaining though the only people that ever came by were Ted, Pearl, Dora and their associates. All the flooring was the original wood, and it all happily led onto her small garden which she pottered in now and again.
Everything was perfect.
‘Where are you off to, anyway?’ She asked, sitting next to him and letting Phyllis run around some more. She went straight to her sleeping pillow and lay down. ‘Anything exciting?’
‘Some work thing so I can network, and I might be late back. The builder’s coming first thing tomorrow morning to ch
eck out the ceiling,’ he replied, looking at his phone and then at his dog. ‘Do you mind if I pick up Phyllis then?’
‘What’s wrong with the ceiling?’
‘There’s a leak from the upstairs flat that they’re selling, but I’m worried about a damp patch.’
‘Paint over it.’
‘You can’t paint over things when you don’t like it.’ Then he smirked and glanced at her. ‘I know that’s what you do. Gloss over the facts when it doesn’t suit.’
‘I was going to offer you my spare room if the ceiling did collapse, but considering you're rude, you can forget about it.’ She folded her arms and scowled. ‘I hope it lands on your head to give you a happy thump.’
‘You’re all heart.’
‘That is true.’
‘And don’t feed Phyl spaghetti Bolognese for dinner.’
‘As if I would?’ Maddy innocently replied, knowing she was going to give Phyllis lasagne. ‘I am a responsible pet.’
‘You mean owner.’
‘You’re Phyllis’s pet, not the other way around,’ Maddy cheekily replied.
‘She becomes difficult with her food when you lavish her with human meals,’ he said, ignoring her comment.
‘I feel sorry for dogs eating dog food. It smells terrible.’
‘You spoil her, Maddy.’
‘You evidentially don’t,’ she replied looking at the dog lie on her back with her paws in the air. ‘When’s the last time you washed her let alone brush her? You need to do that with her coat every day. And can’t you change her dog collar and get something prettier? A scarf is what you give to boy dogs, not girls.’
‘You’d prefer I put her in something girlie?’ he asked, starting to smile. ‘Like one of your headbands with ears? Or even a spotted collar? Maybe a spotted bow?’
‘Come to think of it, I am pondering on getting her a spotted dog coat for winter.’
‘Don’t you dare!’ he said, alarmed by the comment. ‘I won’t let her wear it.’
‘I’ll keep it for when she spends time with me.’ Maddy let out a loud sigh knowing it wound up Stan. ‘When we both go and check out dudes in the park.’
As she turned to see what he would say, Stan was glaring.
‘Can’t she check out the local talent?’ Maddy asked, seeing him frown. ‘She is a woman and has needs.’
‘No-one puts a mucky paw on my dog, do you hear? If I find out that she has been violated in your care, I will kill you.’ The statement made her smile at how protective he was. ‘I mean it, Madeleine.’
‘You’re very lucky to have me in your life courtesy of your sister and Ted. I would never let any dog lay a stray hair on Phyllis. She is much too good for that. Trust me to look after her. She’s practically mine anyway.’ Then she grinned seeing his frown was starting to fade. It was now replaced with a questioning smile. ‘I babysit her enough.’
‘She likes you.’
‘She has impeccable taste.’
‘Not too sure,’ he mumbled. ‘You seem to attract children and animals, which is an odd thing, and unsuitable men. Probably because you wiggle that tail of yours to get attention.’
‘I do not!’ she said, seeing he had noticed before starting to grin. ‘But not you?’
‘Maybe when you grow up a bit, I might consider it.’
‘I’m twenty-nine.’
‘Going on ten.’ Stan let out a laugh and shook his head. ‘Hence one of your best friends is a twelve-year-old girl.’
‘Erm.’ Maddy thought about what happened a few days earlier.
‘What’s wrong?’
‘Nothing,’ she shrugged and got to her feet. ‘It’s something Dora said to me, and then we went to see Jerome, who is ill. It hits home what they’re going through and how little I can help.’ Maddy walked to the kitchen taking the empty cups. ‘Do you want another cup of tea?’
‘No thanks,’ he said, following her and putting a jacket on. ‘I better go.’
‘I’ll be here when you come and pick her up tomorrow,’ Maddy said, over her shoulder.’
‘What did Dora say?’ he persisted, walking closer. Maddy inhaled his aftershave and smiled. He always smelt nice, even when he was winding her up. ‘It might be interesting.’
‘She said she would prefer to see the real concern when she is ill, not the brave face. Dora likes the fact that, even though I am trying, she can tell I’m worried, sad, happy; all sorts of things. My obvious facial expressions give away what I’m thinking.’
‘I see.’
‘Which means the others can see it too.’ Maddy turned to face him, looking up into his eyes and noticed he was frowning. Her heart skipped a beat being so close to him and liking him lots. ‘I hope they don’t. We went to see Jerome, whose cancer has returned. Dora seems happy enough, and so did Jerome, but I felt really upset, seeing his hair had gone and the tubes sticking out his body. He’s only fourteen years old. What if all the things others and myself are trying to do, don’t make a difference at the end? I just want them to have happy lives, what’s left of them, that’s all.’
‘I’ll be honest,’ he said, stepping closer. ‘I thought after meeting you for the first time, and then finding out what you volunteer to do, quite strange. You need to be a strong person to know that these children and teenagers won’t all survive. And Maddy, don’t take it the wrong way, but when you’re upset everyone can see. As much as you try and hide it, it’s written all over your face.’
‘I could take acting classes and try to find a way not to betray my thoughts. I’ve always fancied myself as a bit of a thespian.’
He shook his head from side to side and grinned.
‘One more thing you want to inflict on us?’ Stan let out a little laugh. ‘You can’t wave a magic wand and make everything okay for the people you care about. It doesn’t work like that.’
‘Why not?’ Maddy closed her eyes. ‘I try and raise money, so they get the best care, even on their last days, but it shouldn’t be like that.’
‘It’s life. No matter how hard you try, these things happen. It is unforgiving that it happens to children and teenagers, I admit, that’s not fair.’
‘At least I can try and make it better, can’t I?’
‘He’s going to kill you.’
Ted was sitting with Maddy in the local coffee shop. ‘He told you to look after Phyllis not take her to a doggy parlour.’
‘He didn’t say I couldn’t. Anyway, he left her with me at three o’clock, so he’s planning a major session for tonight. And she needs to be spoilt. I don’t think Stan has any idea on how to care for a dog.’
‘You’re not going to try and kidnap her again, are you?’ Ted sighed, starting to grin. ‘Phyllis loves Stan, and he loves her.’
‘I know she’d prefer to live with me. At least I’ve got a garden, but I’m willing to share.’ Maddy smiled and looked at Ted who pretended not to eye up the pretty waitresses. ‘How’s it going with Stasia? Are there wedding bells in the air?’
‘I am only thirty-one years old, so no rush.’
‘As soon as I find my man, I’m going to force him to marry me,’ she said, sitting up straight. ‘I’ve got my birthday weekend planned, and nothing is going to stop me.’
‘Maddy, you’re not going to find true love at a tourist trap and a bag of loose change. After Roland, you need to give it a rest. The Trevi Fountain will still be there in a few years.’
‘But time is slipping me by.’
‘You’re only twenty-nine.’ Ted laughed and sat back in his chair. ‘There’s no need to rush. Listen, I wanted to talk to you about something.’
‘You’re getting married?’
‘Madeleine,’ he laughed out. ‘Don’t be silly. I’m not the marrying type.’
‘So, they all say.’ She let out a groan. ‘I have to get used to you not being around especially when you find true love and have kids unless you employ me as the nanny.’
‘I still don’t think going to Rome by yourse
lf is a good idea. I want to come.’
‘No!’ she said, shaking her head. ‘Let me do what I set out to do. I’m not a child, and I have been away on my own before.’
‘It’s your thirtieth.’
‘Why do you think I want to be alone?’
Maddy looked out the window at a passer-by walking their poodle, coiffured within an inch of its life. She grinned wondering if Phyllis would come out similarly. She’d have to rough her up in the park before Stan went ballistic.
‘Why are you smiling?’ asked Ted, making her jolt out of her dream state. ‘You’re thinking about something that makes you happy.’ She frowned in response. ‘But not now.’
‘Why is it that people seem to think they can read my mind?’ she asked, leaning forward. ‘What is it that betrays my thoughts?’
‘Your big baby browns,’ he replied, moving closer. ‘That’s the problem with you Maddy, you could never play poker as it would be evident what you were thinking, even if you were lying.’
‘It can’t be just my eyes.’
‘The expressions that go with it often points me in the right direction when you do or don’t want to talk about things.’ Then he laughed. ‘Plus, you’re rubbish at not saying what’s on your mind.’
‘I’m going to start wearing shades and look cool. As for me talking? Don’t listen if you don’t like it. That’s what I say.’ Maddy folded her arms and stared at Ted. ‘You know, Pearl won’t see a doctor. Something isn’t right. She’s not bonding with Honey. Heidi watches her like a hawk, and even I noticed that Pearl looks at Honey as if she’s an alien. I told her it was probably post-natal depression, but she’s not listening.’
‘You know what Pearl is like. She wants to do everything on her own and doesn’t admit to needing help. I was amazed when you said she had a nurse.’
‘I can’t call her a nurse, I have to say nanny, because Pearl told me it would make her sound incompetent.’ Maddy let out a little laugh. ‘How? She just needs help. I mean, she’s never had a baby before, so it’s got to be hard.’ Sipping her coffee, she frowned. ‘I don’t want Pearl to do something silly or hurt the baby.’